Well, usuallly you do, but not these guys: Savannah State wrapped up a perfect season last night, losing to Florida A&M to finish 0-28 on the year. They lost by 23 points a game. Shannon Sharpe must be proud.
The Wiz laid an absolute egg last night, losing to the coach-less New Orleans Hornets. Oh, what's that you say, Byron Scott is still coaching there. Exactly. At least that crazy white guy Chris Andersen is fun to watch. What a loon.
Speaking of horrible losses, what the hell is Syracuse doing? Getting swept by Pitt is not gonna do you any favors on Selection Sunday Men of Boeheim (Peter King phrase). Worst of all, they wasted a career night by Wheelhouse fav Louie "Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue" McCroskey.
I had a feeling this Michael Jackson case could be very entertaining, and if yesterday's news is any indication, I was right. Jackson's lawyers have 370 people on the witness list. 370! Take a look at some of these "witnesses":
Kobe Bryant (I mean, look your honor, if I can get away with unwanted anal, why can't Michael?)
Quincy Jones
Larry King (For my money, no one touches little boys better than Michael!)
Diana Ross
Elizabeth Taylor
Stevie Wonder (Your honor, I swear on my life, I've never seen Michael touch little boys.)
David Blaine
Deepak Chopra (Ghost writing a book with Michael entitled Date Younger, Live Longer)
Steve Harvey
Nick Carter (I'm still famous?)
Maury Povich
Steve Wynn (How the hell did I get on this list? Has anyone seen Trishelle?)
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
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7 comments:
You couldn't think of little quips for everybody?
I'm working slowly this morning - more coffee = more quips.
Who are twelve people who have never been in my kitchen?
GTB reader Wes Wilson just forwarded this email to me from a friend of his. Whether it's true or not I don't know, but it made me laugh on this long, miserable afternoon:
"Not only did the Eagles lose on Sunday but I managed to have one of
the worst nights of my life. It went a little something like this:
1130 pm - Eagles lose the super bowl
1145 pm - take 4 tequila shots in a row with gorra to try to forget
about the 1130 incident
1230 am - get picked up by a cab in philly to go back home to
princeton with chuck and his sister
100 am - cabbie (who we think is drunk) stops at a wawa we don't ask
him to go to 8 miles off highway
102am - we decide not to get back in cab for fear we'll get in an
accident so we get some dude to take us to trenton train station
103am - cabbie gets furious - shouting match ensues - cops are
called
120am cops inform us he wasn't drunk but had a very serious speech
impediment
130am - cops arrest us for public drunkenness when we disagree with
their finding
245am - get released from essington jail near philly and dropped off
at airport
315am- get another cab to princeton
345am - cab pulls over so chucks sister can puke
347am - cab won't start ( we think the night can't get worse...we're
wrong)
400am - cabbie waves someone down in a pickup to get jump
403am - fucking cab won't jump
415am - convince lady who stopped to give us ride to trenton train
station
4:15:30 sec. - lay peels out so hard on the highway i i think she
left skidmarks
4:17am - during the course of pleasant conversation she tells us
she's "into coke and weed"
428am - lady runs stop sign in trenton, hops curb, takes down sign,
runs into side of building
4:28:10 seconds - we jump the fuck out and run
445am get cab from downtown trenton back to my house"
Mmmm. That is a good story
Hmmm. That is a nice story . . .
Oh yes, very nice indeed.
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