Punxsutawney Phil Sees His Shadow

This is one time where a blog really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. Damn that rodent. 6 more weeks of (Edgar) Winter. Well, to those who say February is a cold, boring month, it's day 2 of month 2, and we've already seen:

**Rudy T quit faster than the 2004-2005 New York Knicks. I mean, this is almost "Jerry Tarkanian in San Antonio" bad.
**Emmitt Smith up and retire because he realized even the Arizona Cardinals don't want him. The bonus of course is getting to listen to Michael Irvin scream at me through the TV about Mr. Smith. Good times.
**Illinois crush Michigan St in the Izzone, and look like a serious contender to go undefeated (don't get too excited Illini, call up Delonte West and see how that worked out last year
**Middle Eastern mental midgets "kidnap" a toy and hold it hostage. Is there a Middle Eastern version of the short bus?
**Michael Jackson's kid touching (yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the official term) trial begin. This trial could be OJ good, minus the outrageous double murder element.
**T.O. claim Dr. God has cleared him to play. Who knew T.O. was seeing Dr. Jed Hill?
**Yogi Berra sue TBS (for 10 million bucks) for using the term "Yogasm". There's a joke in here, but it requires me to tie Yogi Berra to Sex and the City, and I'm just not equipped to do that. At all.
**Another stealth steroid discovered. I think Barry uses this one as toothpaste. Accidentally of course.