The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Three Continued

On the third day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me 

 Three Punk Rock Playlists 
 Two Digits Throughout History 
 And the debut of Mac McFis-ty

Hope everyone enjoyed a morning full of Social D, Local H, and X.  More Day 3.  Postcount!

1. 1970’s punk, excepting three pillars 
2. The Ramones 
3. The Clash 
4. The Sex Pistols 
5. 1980’s through today’s punk

God Save the Clarence: Punk Chronicles Vol.4
- The Sex Pistols -

The Sex Pistols.  It would be hard to name any band in history as surrounded with mythology, misinformation, and made-up memories.  Maybe Spinal Tap or The Rutles.

Most music fans fall into one of two categories:

1. The Sex Pistols invented punk.  They were the first punk band to make it big, and they were pioneers for all the rest.  Their songs like "Anarchy in the U.K." stand the test of time, and their influence remains visible across the industry.
2. The Sex Pistols were all hype.  They couldn't play their instruments, but their form of vulgar shock rock made them heroes of the underground, immortalized by public acts of rudeness like the infamous Bill Grundy interview on English television.  They were merely puppets of Malcolm McLaren, and their diminutive half-life is evidence that they were talentless hacks acting the part.

The truth, as usual, is somewhere in between.  There is some actuality in each camp:

• They were one of the first punk bands to break through into commercial success.
• While their output is extremely limited, songs like "Anarchy" and "God Save the Queen" are among the very best of punk's heyday.
• Some of them couldn't play their instruments worth a damn. ('ello, Sid.)
• They were certainly thrust into the public spotlight by that TV spot and other acts of extreme vulgarity.

There are just as many myths needing debunking, though:

• They didn't invent anything (musically speaking).  The Ramones' debut, The Damned, and a number of other albums predated Never Mind the Bollocks.  And you could argue that Iggy and others from a decade prior fathered them all.
• They were not devoid of talent; Steve Jones is a respected guitarist, and Glen Matlock did write good songs.

Let's take a step back and provide some overview.

Essential Facts (I say "facts," but any truths about this band are debatable and usually at least embellished.)

The Players

• John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten, sang and whined and shouted and postured (sod off)
• Steve Jones, played guitars and bass when Sid sucked too bad
• Paul Cook, drummed
• Glen Matlock, played bass and wrote music; jettisoned mid-launch
• John Simon Ritchie or Simon John Ritchie or John Beverley or Simon Beverley, aka Sid Vicious, smacked his bass around and sang a few bits
• Malcolm McLaren, shop owner (called SEX) and manager of the band, master manipulator
• Nancy Spungen, screechy girlfriend who was Yoko x 100 but suffered a terrible fate

The Stats and Story

• Number of studio albums: 1 (Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols)
• Number of RnR Hall of Fame inductions: 1 (sort of... they rejected it)
• Formed in 1975
• In 1977, Glen Matlock left. Cited reasons vary, the one I like best is that he was sacked because he said he liked The Beatles.
• Enter Sid Vicious, Johnny Rotten's buddy who'd been window dressing in Siouxsie and the Banshees and just a fan who got in fights at shows. He played bass, but the consensus was among everyone that ever played with him that he had zero skill at it.  No matter, as he wasn't really hired to play bass, but rather complete the look, attitude, and reputation of The Sex Pistols.  Cursing, spitting, sneering, fighting, self-mutilating, and doing extraordinary amounts of very hard narcotics were all part of the job description, and Sid's performance evals were tip-top.
• Never Mind the Bollocks, Here's the Sex Pistols released 10/28/1977.  1.3 million copies sold worldwide.
• The Pistols imploded in January 1978.  D-bag McLaren had booked them gigs in redneck bars in the American deep south, then waited to see what would happen.  Sid's heroin habit had ballooned and he brawled with fans.  A number of dates were cancelled.  Not one month into the tour, they split, with Johnny Rotten formally announcing the end. Cited reasons vary, as always.

There were a number of reasons why they couldn't sustain this carnival: it was never about the music to at least half the band; they had a self-serving weasel of a manager who fueled chaos without the experience or inclination to actually lead the band somewhere beneficial; a reputation that become bigger than the band, one they had to live up to at every moment, and which elicited hatred from the mainstream masses and violent fanaticism from the disenfranchised. (Sound familiar?)

• Sid went solo, silly as that is to say.  His take on Sinatra's "My Way" is everything you'd guess it would be and much, much less.  Worth a cringy listen (below).  
• Johnny Rotten reverted to John Lydon and formed Public Image Ltd (PiL), an eighties band you'd file under "alternative" more than "punk rock." I like "This Is Not a Love Song," "Rise," and "Seattle." He's now 60.
• Steve Jones and Paul Cook formed a band called The Professionals, then Jones did some solo work plus some acting and disc jockeying in LA.  Pre-Sentence Dave bought his solo album Fire and Gasoline, mainly because it had Ian and Billy on a song or two.  It wasn't terrible, as I recall. Jones is now 61, Cook is 60.  Steve Jones also did a brooding PSA about not doing drugs, the kind of ad that was de rigeur in the 80's. Drugs suck.
• Glen Matlock formed the Rich Kids upon his departure, and has subsequently been a member of a whopping 15 different bands.  Honestly, it reads like the Monty Python "Rock Notes" sketch that was the genesis of Toad the Wet Sprocket's name. He is 60.
• Malcolm McLaren created something called The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle, a film and accompanying "album" in 1980 that tried to make one last buck off their name, reunion tours in 1996, 2006, etc. notwithstanding. He died in 2010 at 64.

No one involved ever became part of anything that overshadowed their 2+ years as The Sex Pistols. Some parlayed it into serviceable careers in the music and adjacent industries.  John Lydon even has a very reputable body of work behind him.  Malcolm McLaren should've made this list when it came out, and he went on to propel/wreck Adam and the Ants and Bow Wow Wow along the way, but it's worth saying that he somewhat intentionally, somewhat inadvertently created the largest punk rock sensation that ever was.

The legacy of the Pistols was less in punk music but more in the style-over-substance engineered fame for fame's sake that was sadly repeatable through the ages.  How many bands could we name who fit that description?  It was never really about the music.  We're lucky we got a few great songs out of the whole affair.

All of that didn't come without a significant casualty.  Simon/John/Sid.  After the Pistols disintegrated, Sid went to New York with Nancy.  Bad times ensued.  Of all the unknown/mistold stories of the Sex Pistols, what happened the night of October 12, 1978 remains the biggest mystery to most.  Nancy was stabbed in the stomach and died.  Sid found her when he awoke from a heroin-induced slumber. Hypotheses vary greatly, ranging from the Occam's razor postulation (no pun intended) that she was annoying and he was a blithering idiot and killed her, to some interesting third party accusations, to the utterly ridiculous, but the scene has been much investigated and leaves some room for doubt.

After bail and legal counsel (aided by Mick Jagger), some more legal trouble, and an ominous sense of a prison sentence, Sid was hanging with family and some junkie buddies on 1 Feb 1979.  He partied, OD'ed, was resuscitated, and partied some more.  Then some more.  And then he passed out and died.  Allegations include the one that his mom gave him the lethal dose, fearing a worse fate for him in prison. A suicide note was found in his pocket, one which read, "We had a death pact, and I have to keep my half of the bargain. Please bury me next to my baby. Bury me in my leather jacket, jeans and motorcycle boots. Goodbye." Horrible all around.  His ashes were scattered on Nancy's grave.  He was 21.

Depraved and disgusting, utterly romantic, pathetic, or sadly tragic, depending on your worldview.

Essential Listening: Never Mind the Bollocks.  That's it.
Essential Viewing: Sid and Nancy.  Gary Oldman,  Chloe Webb.  Ebert gave it 4 stars.  It's gritty, well-acted, and pretty cool. Good soundtrack that includes Joe Strummer.



If you haven't seen it, watch the whole movie, but if you have, and liked it, and want to be reminded of a phenomenal last scene that gave me chills, watch this 2:37 clip again.  I don't know, I used to err on the Sid was pathetic side, but I now think he was victimized pretty fully in it all, and in the end he was just a romantic fool in love with someone who was bad for him but who loved him warts and all in a way that cost them both everything.  Wow.  All right.

Here's your playlist, you stupid gits.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Three

On the third day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me 

Three Punk Rock Playlists 
Two Digits Throughout History 
And the debut of Mac McFis-ty 

On Friday, November 15, 2013, I unveiled a the first in a 5-part segment on punk rock. The quintet of posts would be a love letter to the music genre, as I hold punk in very high regard. (Clarence’s loves are known as the 3 P’s: punk, pilsner, and, well, this is a family blog, so we’ll leave it at that.)

I didn’t reveal the breakdown of the five posts at the time, but here’s what it came down to (click the links to review if you're killing time):

1. 1970’s punk, excepting three pillars 
2. The Ramones 
3. The Clash 
4. The Sex Pistols 
5. 1980’s through today’s punk 

Ah, the best laid plans of squirrels and men. Part 2 arrived on the G:TB scene in August of 2015. Reminiscent of the Cauc Hop final. But a hair better than Whitney’s still to-be-delivered Day 12 from last year. Or TR’s never-to-be-completed Topps baseball card review.

And so today I determine not to drag this out any further. It’s not all that fascinating a series of posts, and if this year has taught us anything, we just don’t know how long we have on this orb. I’d hate to have our intern have to finish this for me posthumously. Here we go, Parts 3, 4, and 5. In pieces. In reverse. Punk rock.


Holiday in Clarencia: Punk Chronicles Vol. 3 
-1980's until today-

Punk was preheated in the late 1960’s by The Stooges and MC5 and the like, prepped a bit in the early 70’s by the New York Dolls and T. Rex and friends, and then served up at the end of the decade by the horde of acts listed in Chapter 1 of this bus wreck and beyond. So what happened next?

The early 80’s saw some continuity; The Ramones, Dead Kennedys, and Black Flag kept on keepin’ on, while newcomers like X, Descendents, Minor Threat, and Social Distortion assumed the mantle. But… a number of bands previously punk now fell more into the new wave synth and melody, even they retained their punk f-u sensibilities. Devo, I’m looking at you. The Jam began flexing muscles that had a whiff of Motown. Blondie went pop, and for a second, hip-hop. Talking Heads got really good, but went to world music and a dozen other genres. And a bunch of groups who were pretty much punk could better be labeled something else. Bad Brains (hardcore), The Misfits (horror rock), The Cramps (psychobilly), and a whole lot of music that now got called “alternative rock.”

Hell, there are way, way too many categories and tons of crossover to where it’s pointless to even try: pop-punk, underground, indie, garage rock, post-punk, ska-core, 15 kinds of metal, alt-whatever, grunge, and just rock and roll. Random Idiots were as punk as they got, but the label filed them under “death reggae” and “folk speed metal.” What a mess.

So let’s not get hung up on rigid genre characterization. Let’s listen to some music. Enjoy the Spotify playlist below that is compiled of 69 Punk or Punkish tunes from 1980-2016.  There are the usual suspects (Dropkick Murphys, Green Day, The Minutemen, Fugazi), but more than a few random surprises.  Feedback and favorites welcomed.

It’s not really safe for work. You figured that, I figure.

Gheorghemas Gift Guide

This isn't a Gheorghemas post, but if it were, it'd fit perfectly on day number two. You'll understand soon enough. Honestly, I'm kinda pissed at my kids for not showing me this until last night.

Please enjoy this commercial interlude for an actual, real product. If you like this one, the makers have numerous other adverts to satisfy your interests.



I wonder if these guys know about Toto. The synergy there could be world-changing.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Two

On the second day of Gheorghemas
Big Gheorghe gave to me

And the debut of Mac McFisty
Two Digits Throughout History

Is it possible to fall victim to recency bias and still be watching something historically unprecedented? Let's find out.

Most NBA observers expected Russell Westbrook to put up large numbers in the absence of long-time running mate Kevin Durant, but I don't think very many of them thought he'd take a run at Oscar Robertson. Through 20 games, nearly a quarter of the way through the season, the Thunder guard is averaging 31.1 points, 10.5 rebounds, and 11.2 assists. Not since the Big O's second season in 1961-62 has anyone averaged a triple double for an entire year - and that's the only time it's ever happened.

Westbrook is in the top 10 in the league in all three categories (2nd in both points and assists/game and 10th in boards. He's a 6'3" guard. This isn't normal.). Despite the fact that his usage rate of 41.0 is off the charts, he's third in Basketball Prospectus' Player Efficiency Ratings.

It's not just the numbers that tell the story of Westbrook's absurd season, nor the fact that he's carried a Thunder team widely expected to struggle to a 12-8 record. No, the thing that's always made Westbrook a must-watch remains intact, and then some. He's the most athletic player in a league comprised of the most athletic people in the world. Watch what he does here to 7'0" Clint Capela:



That dunk, over a seven-footer, with his off hand, won that game for the Thunder. Westbrook is impossible.

People thought Oscar Robertson was impossible, too, in 1961-62. After one of the more remarkable rookie seasons in NBA history, the Big O was even better in his second campaign, recording 30.8 points, 12.5 rebounds, and 11.4 assists per game for the Cincinnati Royals. While the Royals wound up bowing out of the playoffs in the first round, Robertson's season echoes in history.

It says here that Westbrook's is better (or will be, if he sustains this pace). In 1961-62, Robertson's Royals averaged 124.9 possessions per game. The 2016-17 Oklahoma Thunder are averaging 98.7, fairly quick by current NBA standards. Basketball today is a very different game than it's predecessor. Robertson had 26 more opportunities per game to grab a board, drop a dime, or score a bucket than does Westbrook. The Big O's PER of 26 was fourth in the league, but it trails Westbrook's 30.1.

Russell Westbrook is on pace to have one of the most incredible seasons in NBA history, and stamp himself as the King of the Triple Doub...wait...that's...I hate to burst your bubble, but it's triple double trouble:



That's Magic Johnson's music!

While Westbrook is having a truly epic season, he's got work to do to track down the greatest triple double creator in league history outside of Robertson (who finished with 181). Magic recorded an amazing 138 in 905 career games (while Westbrook's up to 46 in 605 with the nine he's dropped this year - including four in a row).

Magic clearly wasn't the scorer, or devastating physical presence that Westbrook is, but his game remains the most unique blend of skills in the modern era.

I think I'd still rather watch Westbrook, though. I really just wanted a chance to post that song.

The Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day One

Well folks, it's that most wonderful time of year again. No, not when we get to listen ad nauseam to such mega holiday hits as "Christmas Shoes" and "Christmas Eve in Washington", rather it is once again time for everyone's favorite faux holiday, Gheorghemas.

Gheorghemas has been around quite a few years now (get an intern on the official count), and it seems that once again Day One will be focused on yours truly, mainly because I am an egomaniac and lazy so by posting on Day One I get the other 11 days off. Gone is the fat guy in a jer-sey, and we're even eschewing Insane in the Posehn this year for something fun but of course still Teej-centric. To that end, I give you...


On the first day of Gheorghemas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
The debut of Mac McFisty

I had no idea this existed

It is awesome and horrific all at once. Enjoy.


P.S. I love that we already had a "Bee Gees" label

Believe the Hype

Back in the halcyon days of G:TB, or at least the days when we gave a shit about college football (as a collective - I know that many of you still do), Mark and I used to make a pretty serious effort to preview the SEC Championship when our teams were involved.

That happened in both 2008 and 2009, and though I'm not one to brag, I think our work speaks for itself. In 2008, as a matter of fact, no less a sporting expert than the late, lamented Jerry said this about our prognosticating prowess:

Florida and Alabama met again for the SEC title last season, two programs in decidedly different places than they were in the late aughts. And they meet again next Saturday, champions of their respective divisions, to decide who holds the belt as the winner of the country's best conference. (Get out of here with that Big Ten nonsense. Two teams worth a shit and Wisconsin, who might have a puncher's chance to win the SEC East.)

That's Leeburg's own
Jonathan Allen

Neither Mark nor I have the time or inclination to repeat our earlier efforts. We're both still a little worn out from the exertion, truth be told. And if we're telling the truth, I haven't followed the Tide nearly as closely this year as I have in years past, a combination of apathy, coaching soccer, and Alabama's entertainment-sapping dominance draining my reservoir of attention. I'm a pretty lousy fan. Alabama doesn't need me, though. They're going to win, and win handily. Let's call it 34-10. Local kid Jonathan Allen's gonna score a defensive touchdown. And Jalen Hurts is only a damn freshman. That doesn't seem very sporting.

In the spirit of nostalgia, and of hoping to catch lightning in a bottle again, I asked Mark for his prediction. Reached on a barstool during the Florida/Florida State game, he offered this, "I reserve the right to change it if Florida continues to suffer a plague of injuries. As of now I'll say 40-13."

Careful observers will note that both of us predicted the same digits. So if there's a way to bet on a score that contains a 0, 1, 3, and 4, I'd advise you to get on it. The past suggests it'll be worth your investment.

Each of the previous three times the Gators and Tide met in the SEC Championship, the winner went on to close out the season as National Champions. Odds are good that Alabama will make it four straight - they're basically a professional organization at this point. Barring a gymnastics meet, or a dance competition, or a really good soccer game on television, I might even watch it.

Happy Thanksgiving, Alternatively Titled: Ain't No Such Thing As Halfway Cooks

Happy Tgives! Are you stressed out because you have to make a side dish and have no idea where to start? Don't worry, Prodigy from Mobb Deep has you covered! He learned a bunch of cool recipes while in prison, so many that he wrote a cookbook called Commissary Kitchen. Here's how to make a dish using only stuff found at your corner bodega:



Despite Prodigy's assertions to the contrary, all that mayo and salt doesn't look particularly healthy. But who cares, it's Thanksgiving! Indulge.

New (Old) Prince. Same Old Awkward

Legend has it that Prince left behind hundreds of unfinished tracks upon his far too early passing a few months ago. Hopefully, that means we can expect scenes like this one to be repeated.

Somehow, ABC News got the hookup to drop the world premiere of 'Moonbeam Levels' recorded originally during the 1999 sessions, but never released. Enjoy it, but dig if you will the reactions of the live Prince fans who had the pleasure and/or torture of listening to it while being filmed.



It's probably safe to ignore the last 18+ minutes of this. But if it's not, maybe let me know.

Wisdom of the Crowd

Last night at the Second Annual Loudoun Soccer Ball (Soccer Ball, get it?), abetted by copious amounts of alcohol, I spent way too much money on the auction item described in the video below:



Now, to figure out what to do with it. I could have Rog and Davo fete my daughter's soccer team. Or they could record a G:TB theme. Maybe I go selfish, and have them tout me as a generous and remarkable human being. Or do a shoutout to TR's friend who hates them.

I've got options. What Would GTB Do?

I Laughed (Because I Was Confused)

Forgive me for dredging up something already mentioned in a previous Comments thread, but a day later, I remain completely confused. Here's the scene:

I'm waiting in line to board my plane from Minneapolis home to Dulles, and I hear a garrulous voice from behind me chatting up another line-dweller. The voice, a young man's, has a distinctly New England accent. And because it was loud, I knew that the voice belonged to a fellow who was heading to Rhode Island and claimed to have had five beers in the hour before boarding.

None of this is particularly remarkable. Obnoxious, maybe, but we've all heard that guy in airports before.

As we board the plane, Drunky O'Sullivan's voice stays behind me, and stays loud. At this point, I haven't looked back to catch a visual, because the last thing I want to do is catch his attention and get sucked into his conversational vortex. I find my seat, turn to place my carry-on under my seat, and finally get a view of our guy.

He's exactly what I thought he was. Twenty-something white kid, dark hair just below his collar and underneath a Boston Bruins cap. Zip-up hoodie over a flannel shirt. Fashionable jeans.

And shoes that looked an awful lot like these:

Slightly lower heel, maybe, and thicker straps, but definitely open-toed to show off the dazzling red paint job on his carefully pedicured toes.

I took a picture, because even I didn't believe it. The picture is terrible (my knee looks pretty nice), but it's here anyway. Zoom in:

I'm as baffled right now as I was when I noticed this. And to his credit, my loud, drunk friend never batted an eye, called attention to his feet, or acted like anything was out of the ordinary.

If this is what Trump's America has in store for us, prepare to spend the next four years questioning everything.

I Laughed

This is the first in a series of recurring posts that I (and most of us, honestly) need in order to keep our sanity in the face of an avalanche of evidence that our new President knows fuck all about what he's doing and/or really is a white nationalist racist ignoramus fuckstick. 

Today, I laughed, when my man Teejay joined in with a popular Twitter meme. People are asking 'What Does It Look Like I Do For a Living?', initially to make a point about how looks can be deceiving, but now mostly so that they can enjoy a roast at their own expense, or that of others.

Here's what the Teej posted:

On it's own, there's a lot we could do with that. (And I encourage you to do so in the comments.) But out of nowhere, from somewhere in Illinois, a great American gave us this:

I laughed.

Between Two Tribe Fans

Let's be honest, friends. 2016, by so many measures, sucks. I think we're all glad that it's nearly over. But in every dark cloud, there's at least some silver lining. For me and Zman, that shine was spelled the same way, as the following conversation (edited for comprehension) details. I'm the one with the stylish italics:

Yo, Z, what's the best thing to come out of the last few weeks of 2016?

The best thing to come out of the last few weeks of 2016, and maybe all of 2016, and maybe even farther back than that, is A Tribe Called Quest's new album "We Got It from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service." It's their first album in 18 years and boy could I use it. As I said here, "Phife's death bums me out. We'll never get another ATCQ album." So this was a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy week. We got another Tribe album and it's damn good!

yo microphone check one, two, what is this

Funny you should bring up Tribe, 'cause I was going to go with the start of the Tribe hoops season, which happens to be today. Tony Shaver's boys take on Bridgewater to kick off the 2016-17 campaign. The real action tips off on Monday, though, when Omar Prewitt returns home to the Bluegrass State to lead the Tribe against Louisville. W&M shocked N.C. State in last year's season-opener. I'm betting that the result is slightly different this time.

Speaking of slightly different, new season, new team. Who's your pick for Tribe MVP?

You aren't going to believe this but I think it's Donald Trump. This album is more overtly political than previous ones and it's definitely influenced by the themes of the 2016 campaign. Check out "We The People" for example.



That's some golden age conscious stuff right there. Chuck D and KRS-ONE have this on repeat. And man is it nice to hear that old Q-Tip snare and high-hat.

I don't know if Omar gets down with Q-Tip (guess: he does), but if we're talking about basketball MVPs, the 6'7" senior is clearly W&M's leading man. The 2015-16 first-team All-CAA selection averaged 17.8 points per game on 49.1% shooting last season, and ranks 13th in Tribe hoops history with 1,361 points.

Prewitt's going to have to carry a big leadership load this year, too, as one of only two seniors on the roster. W&M will miss graduated do-everything forward Terry Tarpey immensely. The 2015-16 CAA Defensive Player of the Year averaged double digit points, and led the team in rebounds, blocks, and steals. There's never been a player like him in W&M's long (if not necessarily distinguished) hoops history. He's irreplaceable as a source of energy and intensity.

And Sean Sheldon's size and improved offensive skill will be difficult for the Wrens to replicate in the post. They're going to need a couple of new dudes to step way up. 

But that's true for both Tribes, isn't it?

Phife's death obviously means the end of ATCQ as we know it, I don't think anyone can step up and fill his shoes. Jarobi actually spits a few verses on this album (for the first time ever) but he can't replace Phife. No one can. You can't have a Tribe album without him. And his last two verses are memorable. The penultimate is a duo with Kendrick Lamar called "Conrad Tokyo" and it's predictably excellent.



Phife waded into politics in his first recorded verse ("Mr. Dinkins won't you please be our mayor?") so it's fitting that he offered up one last round of social commentary. His last song, "The Donald," is bittersweet--his verse is entirely braggadocio, bookended by a respectful introduction from Busta Rhymes and a props-filled outro from Q-Tip. Tip and Phife were friends for something like 40 years and it feels like Tip constructed this song as an homage to his oldest friend. This is the last ATCQ song we'll ever hear for the first time and I think Q-Tip wanted it that way.

Jeez, it's getting dusty in here. On a lighter note, the samples on this album are pretty risky in spots. The Ooompa Loompa song from "Willy Wonka," I think some dialogue from "Young Frankenstein," and ... "Benny and the Jets"?!? Sure, Biz Markie covers this song but it doesn't seem to lend itself to a hot beat. Credit Q-Tip's genius as a producer to turn an ancient Elton John song into a modern banger. "Solid Wall of Sound" takes big risks and they pay off.

Did Tribe hoops take any risks this year that need to pay off big in order to get that ever-elusive NCAA bid?

this makes me happy

If you consider playing with five guards and no post defense a risk, I guess they did, or will. Shaver's teams can fill it up - that's never been an issue, and it won't be this year, with Prewitt, fellow senior Daniel Dixon, and juniors Greg Malinowski, Connor Burchfield, and David Cohn all ready, willing, and able to shoot the ball. Cohn averaged nearly 5 assists a game with 3:1 assist to turnover ratio last year. With another season under his belt, he'll be one of the best true point guards in the CAA. The 6'6" Malinowksi's versatility and athleticism will be a big key as Shaver seeks a consistent third option behind the two seniors.

So we've got the scoring covered. The rebounding and defense, well, that's a bit of a different story. 6'9" junior Jack Whitman will get most of the early minutes, but he's on the thin side, and he's never put up more than 2.7 rebounds per game. Sophomore sensation Hunter Seacat (!) is a big body (and only a sensation because of his name) who showed some flashes in limited action last year, but he'll have to take a big step up to help fill Sheldon's role. 6'10", 250-lb freshman Nathan Knight is raw, but he's big and physical, and if he can adapt to the college game, he'll make an impression.

Game remains the same, though, for the Tribe. When we shoot the ball well, we can beat anybody. When we go a little cold, we can lose ugly. Last year's 91-63 loss to Hofstra says hello.

So what's your takeaway? Does the new Tribe record herald a turning point, or is it just one bright point in an otherwise bleakening landscape? And how does ATCQ relate to a Tribe ball quest?

I really think it's a turning point. Tribe are heroes to a lot of younger MCs and I guarantee this album will be repeatedly listened to and dissected by oldheads and youngheads alike. I think it will inspire other rappers to couple out-of-left-field production with left-of-center lyrics leading to a renaissance of conscious political hiphop. I think we've had enough coke and codeine rhymes for now.

ATCQ was four guys who grew up together and used their friendship as a foundation to create some of the best hiphop ever. They had tremendous early success but internal strife led to music of lesser quality. With this album they've returned to greatness one last time. If Tribe hoops can mimic this within the microcosm of a basketball season they could win the CAA tourney and finally make the big dance. It would be a turning point for both Tribes, I guess.

One other potential turning point could be for Andre 3000 to build on his cameo verse on this record and join ATCQ as Questlove suggested. I can't fully wrap my head around that but I think it would work. Sort of like getting a transfer student who turns into a major contributor.

Kinda like David Cohn last year, then. 

As for the W&M Tribe, lots of observers like them to contend again in the CAA. Tony Shaver's teams have recorded 20 wins or more in three consecutive seasons. A fourth would be unprecedented (I think. Not gonna look it up.). They'll play a lot of 81-77 games this year, and a couple of 82-55 contests (both ways). The league's coaches and media folks picked W&M to finish third, which is a statement of respect for Shaver as much as anything else. There are a bunch of teams that have a shot this year, including defending champion UNCW, Hofstra, talented Towson, and much-improved College of Charleston. 

Me, I think third's a bit too high, but I'll tip the Tribe for a first-round bye. (Q-Tip can have that rhyme for free.)

But I'll go one better. The universe owes us some happy. And #1bid4wmtribe would make a lot of people happy - even folks with no affiliation to W&M. It's happening this year.

As the Tribe flies high like a dove.

Gheorghe Explains: Some Gheorghian Election Observations

I've been pondering the election results in a stunned state of surprise and sadness. To avoid feeling worse I forced my brain to take a Gheorghian approach to processing this kerfuffle. Here are some observations.

* If, during a discussion about women, a man tells you that he likes to "grab them by the pussy," you are disqualified from hosting Access Hollywood.
* Asserting that you grab women by the pussy has no impact on your ability to be president.
* When Obama ran as a candidate of hope and change, republicans mocked him:



* When Trump ran as a candidate of change, republicans voted for him.
* Voters picked the candidate from the conservative party because they wanted change.
* Voters thought Clinton was more qualified than Trump--which I interpret to mean that Clinton was believed to be more likely to make good decisions and Trump is more likely to make bad ones--but they wanted change and Clinton was viewed as likely to maintain the status quo; thus, potentially bad change from an unqualified candidate is better than no change at all.
* Voters chose Trump because he would "get things done" despite the fact that many of the things he wants to do appear to be impractical, impossible, immoral, illegal, or combinations thereof.
* Voters wanted a candidate who would help the little guy, so they voted for the billionaire who inherited great wealth and has a history of bending the rules to make money and engaging in sharp business practices to screw over his employees and contractors.
* I'm emboldened to say whatever the hell I want at work--if anyone takes offense I can just say I'm being presidential.
* Beer-bellied white guys over age 45 like to say to me "It's been a great couple of days, huh!" while using the adjacent urinal--I guess there's something about having their dicks in their hands that makes them feel like they can open up to me on their political views.
* How am I supposed to respond to one of the foregoing guys when they ask me if I think the Clinton Foundation is the entity "buying up all these stocks" so that they can dump them and crash the market the day Trump takes office?
* Telephone polls aren't helpful if voters don't answer the phone, or if they don't even have a phone.
* Put another way, market research is useless.
* I don't know how many people on Obamacare voted for Trump or didn't vote at all, but if you're on Obamacare and you didn't come out to vote for Hillary then don't complain to me about anything.
* We should all invest in gold leaf--I foresee some serious decorative alterations to the White House.
* I'm not as bummed out as I was in 2004, I guess I've gotten used to disappointment.



* Speaking of 2004 ... once again, our president is a swaggering privileged wealthy white dunce who can't pronounce straightforward words, invents new words, favors tax cuts for the wealthy and limited government, and has a regressive view of reproductive rights. This worked out great last time around!

* The 2004 and 2016 electoral maps look a lot alike. The ghost of Karl Rove lingers!

* I wonder if hipsters will abandon the shaved-on-the-sides-and-long-on-top haircut from post-WWI and adopt the long-on-the-sides-swoopy-on-top-and-parted-from-the-armpit look from Trump.
* Why don't we still make SDB jokes around here and will we ever do so again now that Bill Clinton is out of the spotlight forever?
* An overlooked first from this election: Melania Trump is the first First Lady to be photographed prone on a fur coat wearing nothing except for high heels and a briefcase handcuffed to her wrist.

* The candidate who bemoaned that the election was rigged before the votes were cast won the presidency despite the fact that he got fewer votes than his opponent.
* If you want to have more of an impact on presidential elections, simply move to Florida or Ohio and vote.

Presidential Cabinet, or Laff-A-Lympics team?

According to reports, our new President-Elect, Donald Trump (still not over this. wtf people) has been preparing a preliminary list of candidates for Cabinet positions. This list is, well, it's something all right. Look at this caucus of clowns:

• Attorney General picks include: Chris Christie, Jeff Sessions, Rudy Giuliani
• Newt Gingrich, John Bolton and Bob Corker - potential picks for Secretary of State
• RNC Chairman Reince Priebus is the only name listed under Chief of Staff, while Sessions is also the only one being considered for Director of Office of Management and Budget
• Potential Secretary of Commerce picks include: Christie, Mike Huckabee
• Ben Carson under consideration to be Secretary of Education
• Christie also being weighed for Secretary of Homeland Security
• Carson, Gingrich and Florida Gov. Rick Scott - potential picks for Secretary of Health and Human Services
• Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin - one of seven potential candidates to become Secretary of the Interior

Honestly, at this point, I'd rather enlist The Really Rottens to run the White House. In case you forgot this ragtag bunch, a team "composed of villainous characters that frequently cheated by either giving themselves an unfair advantage in a contest or sabotaging the other teams":

• Mumbly
• Dread Baron
• Dinky Dalton
• Dirty Dalton
• Dastardly Dalton
• Mr. Creepley
• Mrs. Creepley
• Junior Creepley
• Orful Octopus
• Great Fondoo
• Magic Rabbit
• Daisy Mayhem
• Sooey

I'll let you decide in the comments which Rotten matches up with which potential Trump cabinet member.

Hair of the Dog that Bit Me, Lloyd

Moving right along, people.  This is your regularly scheduled dipshittery.

So I went to a work luncheon the other day, and one of the sponsors was a construction company.  Among other marketing tactics, the company appeals to prospective buyers through a lovable looking animal, presumably to soften the image of an industry not known for lovability.  (See Poltergiest or Lethal Weapon 3, among others.)  So they have a retriever named Linus who wears a construction hat and poses for photos.  Cute.  Harmless.

Except this was the picture they had on enormous display at the event.

What do you think of when you think of "Overlook"?  Does anyone else instantly think of the Overlook Hotel?

If you do, you know there isn't much lovable about it.  Family murders, elevators filled with blood, a hotel coming to grisly life and creating gory death.  I couldn't stop thinking that this was a terrible choice, especially written in what could pass for blood.  It's one backwards R from being intentional.

Just glad it wasn't Lot 237.



Just me???  Probably.  All work and no play makes Clarence a dull boy.

Election Day Open Thread (Alternatively Titled, It's the End of the World As We Know It, and I Feel Fine)

Intellectually, I feel pretty good this morning. Barring a cataclysmic, systematic, and unprecedented failure on the part of the American political polling establishment, the facts suggest that Hillary Clinton should be elected President, and this godforsaken shitshow of an election will come to its only sane conclusion.

Emotionally, I'm a goddamned trainwreck. Even as we at G:TB understood the animating forces behind the Trump phenomenon from early on, I never thought it'd get this far. And even if the short-fingered vulgarian loses badly, we have a reckoning coming as a nation.

If he wins? I'm honestly not prepared to think about that.

So come in to the comments below and vent or cheer, depending on the news of the day. On the bright side, we might know pretty early on whether we need to drink heavily. If HRC wins Florida, it's all over. If that state turns out to be a clusterfuck (which would never happen, so why worry?), it'll be a long night.

Drunk Music Lessons

Friday night, my wife and I met some friends at a local brewpub to have a couple of week-ending pops and listen to a neighbor play old-time rock and roll. (For what it's worth, Loudoun County, Virginia is a beer lover's paradise right now - I can walk to no fewer than six brewpubs making their own stuff, and there are another thirteen within easy driving distance.)

We had to leave to pick up our youngest at gymnastics, but she hadn't eaten anything, so we headed back into town to grab some killer street tacos and another beer. It was a beautiful night, and our town has a festive First Friday scene each month, so we finished our evening getting dessert and a manhattan at a restaurant bar. Daddy was feeling good.

When we arrived back at the house, the kidlet wanted to talk about music, so I obliged. She wanted me to hear Panic! At the Disco's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody, which is pretty good. But she needed to hear the original, and she definitely needed to hear Freddy Mercury's voice.

After that lesson, we spent a good hour wandering around YouTube so I could share some of the favorites of my youth. I focused on progressive/alternative stuff, the foundation of my high school catalog, but somehow I figured she needed to hear some early Springsteen, too. I'm working on the next lesson now, so I'll try to focus. Feeling pretty good about my Dadding, though, notwithstanding the fact that I was drunkenly hanging out with my kid.

In no particular order, here's the show:

ALERT!

According to numerous sources on the interweb, Dave Chappelle will be hosting Saturday Night Live on November 12 with musical guest A Tribe Called Quest. Whoa. In celebration of that, enjoy:

Joy...and Pain

Sports are awesome. And they suck.