G-L-O-R-I-A

Gloria Vanderbilt has passed away at the age of 95. She lived a life of fame, fortune . . . fashion. And a had boy named Anderson, who seems to have made a name for himself.

Gloria is an oft-used name in rock and/or roll, and here's a playlist of the Glorias, with some artist Glorias thrown in.

Oh . . . plus one song that stands out to the uninitiated. Robert Hazard and the Heroes' 80's one-hitter "Escalator of Life."  One listen and you'll know why.



Factoid: Robert Hazard wrote and first recorded "Girls Just Want to Have Fun."  He was from southeastern PA, so our late great mate Evan used to tout his virtues. Pancreatic cancer took the Pennsyltucky rocker in '08.  Much will rightfully be said about Gloria Vanderbilt today. Let there also be at least one swig consumed (f the wasteful pouring out tradition) for Robert Hazard, his heroes, and his fans.

Hey, girl . . . I'm a personal friend of Gloria Vanderbilt
I got all the gold in the world around my neck 
Come ride the steel dinosaur 
Run wild in the jungle 
It's a Zulu Nation 
Seduction, sacrifice, a new sensation 
Nothing ever changes!

It ain't Dylan or McCartney, but I like it.  Cheers.

Father's Day Singalong

Audience participation time, Gheorghies. I'm gonna start by listing several songs that remind me of my Dad, or that remind of of being a Dad. And you're gonna add to the list. Because you're good people and you like music.















Here's a different version of the same song that I like even better, for obvious reasons.

Barney and the North

It's winner celebration week here at G:TB, and apparently at 99% Invisible, as well.

The excellent design-focused podcast (featured not that long ago in this post) just re-ran an episode from a few years ago that celebrated the Raptors' first uniforms. These glorious togs right here (with bonus Oliver Miller!):

Enjoy the podcast here, and learn about the demented genius behind this look and the dozens of other mid-90s monstrosities you loved to hate.

Grudging Congratulations

The Blues certainly earned that Stanley Cup title, so here's to them:



Phish knows what time it is:

@msmallmon @miklasz @BernieShow Over here at Chaifetz Arena, Phish opened set 2 with Gloria straight into the Rolling Stones Loving Cup.  Cup fever everywhere!! pic.twitter.com/NAi3N69qeL

— Nathan Thomas (@mizzounate) June 13, 2019

Music for the Masses

Time Magazine political journalist Lissandra Villa did us a considerable service yesterday, tweeting the following list of walkout songs chosen by the Democratic Presidential contenders that attended the Iowa Democrats Hall of Fame ceremonies yesterday.

Your opinions may vary, but my opinion of Amy Klobuchar went way up. Beto O'Rourke, punk from way back, with a strong choice, as well. Elizabeth Warren stays on brand, and appeals to a certain demographic that'll probably be important, though I don't love the song. Mayor Pete, underdog rap - also on message. Kamala Harris, I see you. And what the everlovin' fuck are you doing, Bill De Blasio?

And there's some straight-forward pabulum here, too.

Do comment below.

Summer of Footy

The confluence, my friends. The confluence.

If you like the world's game, it's an embarrassment of riches for you over the next month or so. And in two particular cases, just embarrassment, FIFA-style.

For starters, the Women's World Cup kicked off yesterday with hosts France thoroughly
dominating South Korea on the way to a comprehensive 4-0 win. Les Bleues are one of the title favorites, with seven players from Champions League winners Olympique Lyonnais on its roster. The U.S. Women's National Team, who are defending their 2015 title, are the other side widely acknowledged as likely to win. Should both teams win their groups, an overwhelming probability, and win their Round of 16 matches, they'd meet in the quarterfinals. Shrewd move, that, on the part of the brain trust at FIFA.

Trying not to be a homer here, and recognizing that the overall quality of the women's game continues to improve by leaps and bounds, I still think it's Jill Ellis' Americans' title to lose. Australia is really good, as are Germany, Brazil, England, Japan, and the hosts. But our ladies are tested, tough, and talented. Pay attention to the final game of the USA's group run, when we play Sweden. Both teams will likely have clinched advancement in a weak group (with Chile and Thailand). The winner of the group will get France in the quarterfinals, while the loser would get a marginally easier route.

The CONCACAF Gold Cup, our regional competition, starts in earnest a week from today. Gregg Berhalter's team dropped a desultory match on Thursday in D.C., losing 1-0 to Jamaica, though they were without their full complement of players. The USMNT plays against Guyana on the 18th before a revenge match against Trinidad and Tobago on June 22. At the very least, Team America should get to the semifinals of this tournament. The very, very least.

Later today, the US Men's Under-20 team take on Ecuador in the quarterfinals of the U20 World Cup in Poland. The young Americans (young Americans, she wants the young Americans...aaaaalllllll right) came back from a 2-1 deficit against tournament favorites France in the first round of the knockout stage. (Foreshadowing?!?) This is the third consecutive U20 World Cup that's seen Tab Ramos' side make the final eight. Third time's a charm, hope the red, white, and blue.



CONMEBOL, the South American federation, hosts its irregularly timed Copa America this month, as well. The tournament starts next Friday in Brazil. The hosts just lost erratic (and annoying, and probably a rapist) superstar Neymar to an ankle injury sustained in a friendly win over Qatar.

The Copa America final at the Maracana in Rio will take place on July 7. And here's where we get to the other (most recent) FIFA gaffe. See, the CONCACAF Gold Cup final is also scheduled for July 7. That's two of the most prominent non-World Cup tournaments in the men's game slated for the same day.

Which is also when the Women's World Cup final takes place in Lyon. This, to put it mildly, is a slap in the face to the women's game. At a time when the U.S. women are suing U.S. Soccer for equal treatment, and ladies Ballon D'Or winner Ada Hegerberg from Norway is sitting out the World Cup to protest her national federation's lack of funding for the women's game, you'd think that FIFA would be able to figure out how to at least pretend to showcase the distaff elite.

You'd think that, if you didn't know anything about FIFA's clusterfuckery.

While all that is going on, our domestic leagues are taking a break, but both the MLS and NWSL are having highly entertaining seasons. D.C. United and the Washington Spirit pace their respective leagues, but second-year Los Angeles FC is threatening to run away and hide on its way to being one of the best sides in league history.

And in case that's not enough soccer for your entertainment dollar, the transfer window is open across the globe. Real Madrid just signed Chelsea star Eden Hazard. Paul Pogba's rumored to be on the move from Manchester United, as is Romelu Lukaku once Antonio Conte gets ensconced at Inter Milan. Money's gonna fly fast and furious, and the action in the boardroom may be as heated as the on-pitch stuff.

Except on July 7th.

Gheorghe's 6-Pack: Cover Tunes

It's Friday.  Afternoon.  Just about Miller Time.

And that means it's time for a 6-Pack!

In the interest of spreading the love of good music, we will throw out six suggested songs by certain bands you may or may not know much about. Not much of a time commitment, just a little something to get the flavor and get you going.

Okay, so that's the charter of this recurring segment that actually recurs, but we're taking a bit of a different path today. We always like tributes here in the G:TB Music department, and we've trod over that ground a fair bit. So let's queue up some new or rare covers for you.

This Bud's for You

Three of them are mellowfied, deconstructed takes on otherwise peppy songs.  The final three are just interesting genre-twists. Have a listen and see what you think.

This may be your reaction to my 6-Pack playlists...

The last one I particularly like.  Eagles of Death Metal was the band playing in Paris when that terrorist bullshit happened there four years ago.  Theirs is a tale of slow recovery from that horribleness, not physically but emotionally. I'd have to figure that would fuck with me pretty good, too.  Their cover of Duran Duran's "Save a Prayer" was both a decent rendition and a mantra in the aftermath of that cowardly act of evil.

This week they released an album of covers called EODM Present Boots Electric Performing the Best Songs We Never Wrote.  Some interesting song choices for sure. I like the Ramones and Kenny Rogers tunes, but by far my favorite is the Wham! cover. If your heart needs some healing, by all means turn to Gheorghe Michael and Andrew Ridgeley.

And in a related move, it's been a while since we gave this guy the airtime he greatly deserves:

Have a great weekend. Be safe and be sure to enjoy something.

Culture Up Your Ass Wednesday

Alert your friends, and update your calendars accordingly, good people of Gheorghe, 'cause we're movin' right along on 7/25 and 7/30:

Time Keeps on Slippin': Dadbrag Edition

Yesterday my daughter performed in her penultimate dance recital. She's been doing this since she was five years old. She's got one more to go. One more year of five-a-week rehearsals. One more year of competitions. One more round of recitals. I'm gonna be a mess this time next year.

It's been remarkable, in retrospect, to see her go from a little ballerina, bouncing in time to the music, to an accomplished artist. And truly, while I grumble at times about the checks we have to write to her dance studio, her dance has been a catalyst for growth in lots of other ways. To see her on stage, confident, joyful, kinda badass, really, fills my heart with joy.

And so, I'm gonna share some of that with you.

She's at the front of the formation in this one:



In this one, she's the female lead:



She starts at the front of this one, too:



You'll never figure out which one she is in this one, but it's cool to watch:

15(ish) Minutes of Game

Today marks the 25th anniversary of the release of the Beastie Boys' Ill Communication album. For my money, and that of many critics, the video for Sabotage from that record is the greatest video ever released.



If you've got 14 minutes and 30 seconds or so, watch this documentary about the years that led up to the record, which features an interview with the surviving Beasties. Really cool stuff about Yauch's awakening as a person and about how much fun the group had together. They set it straight, this Watergate.

Avalanche of TR Content

Inspired by the tiny dictator’s last comment, while we await TR’s reviews of the Topps baseball card sets of the 90’s here is some TR content to hold you over.  Post count!!

Viva Abe

Happy Memorial Day, America. Long live our Abe Lincoln.

BONUS ABE PICS 

Juxtaposition

When I was in my 20s, I spent hours - probably numbering in the hundreds - laughing at the same scenes played over and over again. Tractor beam, sucked me right in.

So it was more than a little interesting this week when I saw this guy:



Saying this:



It's a hell of time, friends. I think I'll just buy a six-pack.

For Shame

Shame, boatloads of shame/Day after day, more of the same -- The Avett Brothers

Loath though I am to besmirch the good name of one of my favorite bands, that couplet does a nice job of describing the state of our once-proud nation. I've tried to refrain, with varying degrees of success, from running into this space to loudly rant about each degradation of our norms, each gross abdication of duty, each rationalization of egregious conduct in the name of power. But news comes this week of a potential act by the President* so beyond the pale, so outrageous, so disgusting, so damning in its indictment of his addled faux-macho worldview that I can't sit silently by.

According to multiple outlets, Corporal Bone Spurs is seriously contemplating issuing pardons in time for Memorial Day to several American soldiers and contractors (read: mercenaries) accused or convicted of war crimes. These brave war heroes are alleged to have stabbed an unarmed and injured Iraqi to death, shot young girls and elderly Iraqis with a sniper rifle, opened fire on a crowd of unarmed Iraqis, killing 14, and desecrated the corpses of enemy combatants by urinating on them.

Our best and brightest, as you can see.

War is, as the hoary cliche goes, hell. I can't for a moment imagine the adrenaline-fueled fury that rises in a person in the midst of active combat. I'll never stare down an enemy who seeks to take my life, and never know the guilt, relief, and anger that comes with living through a firefight. U.S. servicemen and women are often heroic, and nearly always driven by a sense of duty to a cause greater than their own. I witnessed a version of this daily growing up in an Army household.

That sense of duty extends to the way we fight our wars. We're taught that Americans have to be better, to uphold our nation's values, to fight with honor lest we lose our command of the moral high ground. By pardoning crimes like these, even those committed in the midst of the fog of war, the message to the rest of the world is that our word is not to be trusted.

And the message to the overwhelming majority of American servicemen and women who fight our wars honorably amidst the most challenging of conditions is perhaps even worse. National security journalist Jonathan Ackerman, who tweets as @attackerman, posted this yesterday: "Those without honor esteem those without valor, and consider those who didn’t dishonor their uniform to be irresponsible. To excuse war criminals is to insult everyone who survived war — war, which, when not a matter of liberation, is a crime — with their humanity intact."

Excusing the illegal, immoral, and cowardly actions of the few in the name of some misguided tough-guy might-makes-right ethos is the apotheosis of our Commander-in-Chief's abjectly irresponsible approach to policy. He dishonors us every day. But in this instance, he dishonors some of the best among us.

#aroyalteamtalk

The English FA, BBC, and Prince William have joined forces to make visible an issue that plagues many, yet is still so hard to talk about. From this partnership, a video entitled, 'A Royal Team Talk: Tackling Mental Health', follows. Featuring several noteworthy professional players, including Peter Crouch, Thierry Henry, and Danny Rose, as well as England manager Gareth Southgate, the video juxtaposes the image of successful athletes at the top of their game with the pressures, anxiety, and mental issues that come with so many aspects of modern life. The piece also features four 'regular' blokes who struggle with anxiety and depression. This clip details the meeting of the two groups.

“As a man, it’s almost forbidden to cry.”

Five of the biggest names in football and the Duke of Cambridge open up about mental health

#ARoyalTeamTalk  #MakeExtraTime pic.twitter.com/f6QiQalakF

— BBC One (@BBCOne) May 19, 2019

Important work being done here by HRH and the FA. More sunlight on this issue, more disinfectant, and perhaps less toxicity. A man can only hope.

You Could Get With This or You Could Get With That

Approaching the point in the evening where I've had enough to drink to make impulse purchase decisions, and I'm calling upon the assembled League of Gheorghies to crowdsource my choice.

In this corner, the primary Ardillas Voladoras logo cap:

And in this corner, the alternate:

Make your case in the comments.

Gheorghe Explains the 2020 Democratic Presidential Primary (in Song)

Sung to the tune of The Nails' 88 Lines About 44 Women, our tribute to the Democratic Party's clusterfuck of a Presidential primary, 44 Lines About 22 Candidates, Maybe 4 of Which Have a Snowball's Chance in Hell:

Beto was a hipster dad

Played punk rock and bounced around

Uncle Joe expects to win
Lays his hands upon your mom

Klobuchar is of the North
Winter's coming, she's below fourth

Jay Inslee, man, he loves the earth
Warren's EPA chief his berth

Mayor Pete's a boyish type
Way too smart for his own good

Gillibrand is smart and tough
Hard to break through all the noise

Bernie is a Socialist
Fucked up '16, back to wreak

Kamala prosecutes 'em
Woe to he who thinks her weak

This is Steve Bullock.
Or some dude from my office.

Cory Booker, he's a vegan
Beard is pretty, his chances not

Tulsi's carving her own spot
Shame it's Syrian, loves despots

Steve Bullock is...
Who the fuck is Steve Bullock?

John Delaney...man, really?

Wayne Messam is...once again, I don't even know who these people are. Wayne Messam? Is that even a real person? Why would you run for office if you're the mayor of Miramar, Florida? I guess we could ask Pete Buttigieg the same thing, now that I think about it. Fuck, the meter is all wrong on this line. But seriously, many of these vainglorious assholes serve the party and the nation so much better if they'd run for Senate and try to deny Mitch McConnell two more years of packing the courts with misogynist Trumpian fuckbonnets.

Hickenloopermentum!

Andrew Yang is interesting
Hates the robots, like Yoshimi

Tim Ryan is a typical white dude
Full of himself, not a clue

Swalwell, he is one to watch
Too moderate in this year of blue

Hickenlooper's fun to say
Buy his beer, but not his chances

Michael Bennet, generic white guy
Stick to the Senate, make them dance

Moulton is an arrogant prick
Nancy Pelosi handed him his...jock

Julian Castro, Obama's Hud Sec
Bucking for a better spot

Gravel is a likeable loon
Keep him in just for the fun

Warren always has a plan
Total package; she's the one

RIP, Tim Conway

Tim Conway, famed for his role on The Carol Burnett Show, passed away today at 84. I haven't seen that show in years, but I recall watching it as a kid, and laughing as much at my father nearly pissing himself as at the sketches.

Here's a famous one where Harvey Korman legendarily actually did piss himself at Conway's performance:



And here's Conway telling the story of that sketch to Conan O'Brien:

Hot Truth Filler

Amplify the truth. Shout down the voices of people who seek to profit from lies, episode one:

If You Can't Say It, You Can't Do It

It's been a big fucking week, my friends. In 2017, a groundbreaking study from Stanford University "...found a consistent positive relationship between profanity and honesty; profanity was associated with less lying and deception at the individual level, and with higher integrity at the society level".

Then, early last year, Emma Byrne published Swearing Is Good for You: The Amazing Science of Bad Language, which extolled the virtues of colorful language, from enhancing workplace teamwork to increasing our pain tolerance.

Finally, this week, we moved more deeply into the golden era of the f-bomb.

First, in England, Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp, at a loss for prosaic verbiage to describe his team's epic Champions League semifinal comeback, said this (the whole thing is great, but the money quote starts around 1:08):



Then, a day later, Golden State Warriors coach, after his team overcame the loss of Kevin Durant to beat Houston in Game 5 of their Western Conference semifinal series, channeled Klopp. Literally:



Both of those teams have mammoth games this weekend, and potentially through June. May their leaders bring their fucking 'A' games.