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| Sepp Blatter's Blue Balls |
The U.S. side heads into 2014 off of one of the better years in its history. Jurgen Klinsmann's squad won a national-record 16 matches in 2013, including a world-best 12 consecutive wins. The U.S. is ranked 14th in the world headed into today's draw.
It's highly unlikely that the U.S. will be as fortunate this cycle as it was in 2010, when fate smiled upon us, slotting the Americans with England, Algeria, and Slovenia and opening the door for advancement to the Round of 16. The 32-team 2014 Finals is loaded with quality sides. There's a scenario in which the U.S. is drawn with Brazil, the Netherlands, and Italy. Zoinks.
There's also a chance that the U.S. gets Switzerland, Algeria, and Boznia-Herzegovina. We'd be advised not to get our hopes up for that one.
For what it's worth (answer: nothing. nothing at all), this World Cup Draw Simulator just gave us Uruguay, Algeria, and France.
As Pro Soccer Talk notes in the link above, though, the U.S. is capable of beating just about anyone in the draw on any given day. In the last 18 months, we've knocked off Spain and Germany, albeit neither nation's full side. Best not to obsess too much about the draw - it's pretty likely rigged, anyway.
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48 comments:
for you vajazzle fans out there...
http://tinyurl.com/lruwy9s
Is that "bowl of balls photo" from the initiation ritual?
Seattle isn't getting Robinson Cano but is getting Chris Peterson. Good day for those folks.
Home with the kid today. This "day off" is some bullshit. Well, except for the two hour nap I'll take later.
Cup the balls
I strongly urge you all to watch the World Cup Draw on ESPN.com. There are male and female dancers in tights doing preposterous things on a stage to a techno beat right now.
Wish I brought my MDMA with me to work this morning.
There are men and women in spandex hot pants. And we've now transitioned to a trance/samba sound.
And Kyle Korver would approve of the way they are wearing their socks.
This is beyond ridiculous. No way I can do any work until this thing is over. At one point, two men were pretending to kick a female dancer back and forth to each other.
And now it's over. Sadness.
Now we have Pele talking to a beautiful woman with large implants. He may be dying his hair these days. He looks like Nipsey Russell in Wildcats.
We are about to commence the grabbing of the balls.
Just in case you missed the absurdly beautiful TD pass Teddy Bridgewater had last night. http://d3j5vwomefv46c.cloudfront.net/photos/large/825887204.gif?1386300013
The World Cup draw is being staged on the set of Sabado Gigante, yes?
"...loaded with quality sides..."
Au Gratin Potatoes...that's a quality side
I'd like to request Group E for the USMNT.
We skirted Spain!
Or not. I have no idea. This seems much more confusing than it needs to be.
i got the last "hey gheorghies" on a thursday night! usually clarence puts me to shame.
suffering now.
Argentina & Brazil have some pretty easy draws. The US, on the other hand, Germany, Ghana & Portugal. GROUP OF DEATH.
Uruguay-England is going to be fun. Chewy Louie Suarez is in beast-mode this year. Tough draw for England overall.
And the US ain't advancing. Bummer.
yes we are, tr. YES WE ARE!
Mariners are going to regret that Cano contract very soon.
By soon, you mean next year's All Star break?
R.I.P U.S.M.N.T.
Wade Phillips is interim head coach of the Texans. I feel sorry for the city of Houston.
Zman - I missed the exercise of naming your daughter on the way (congratulations). I think if you really want to make a splash, you should go for a name that rhymes. Like, name her Francis Anne, so she can be Fran Anne[Zdaughter]. I plan to utilize this as well for my clan - whenever little Stu and Lulu are born...
Just bought tickets to see Dave Chapelle here in town in a couple weeks. Kinda psyched.
Zman - they could be tanking by letting Wade coach. They will soon be deciding b/w Bridgewater and Clowney.
Like a bridge over clowney water, looking down at you people always makes me smile.
Catching up on a lot I missed...
- Zman: sincere congratulations and best wishes. Daughters are the best thing in the world. (Note: mine have not reached their teenage years yet. I am building a tower and a moat.)
- Why not call her Mesko? Or Kathryn Gunther Zname, and you can call her K-Gun. I assume Marvella Levy Zname is out. Good luck with GTB naming. You'll be lucky not to have a daughter named Alfonso Ribeiro Shirtless Zname.
- Teedge has heard me piss on Anchorman for years, so I'll probably like the second one.
- Saw Pele in Hamptons watering hole the Stephen Talkhouse a few years back. He was flanked by several hot blondes. My drunk comrade tried to high five him. Pele gave him the brush-off. I told my buddy that he was stupid -- Pele doesn't do anything with his hands.
-- Dave, nice work on Hey Gheorghies. Keep it up.
A co-worker's husband is friends with Justin Gimelstob and Gimelstob hosts an annual charity tennis event in my town. My co-worker told me this today, leading to this exchange:
zman: Cool! Do any pros show up?
co-worker: Yeah, Pete Sampras and Patrick McEnroe go every year. So does Andy Roddick, he always brings his wife.
zman: Brooklyn Decker is in Chatham tonight?
co-worker: Yeah, along with her model friends. She always brings a few.
So TR ... see you at Centercourt around 7?
it was right there in front of us, the whole time...
Alfonso Ribeiro Shirtless Zname
if you want to make nice with mrs. roddick, tell her you named your daughter after a city, too.
compton zdaughter is a lovely name.
Anacostia zdaughter?
Is Brooklyn Decker's middle name Upper or Blackened? Stupid name.
And what about Tappan Zdaughter?
Never mind, there are sexual overtones to that one. Yikes.
Old Tappan zdaughter.
that made me do a spit take. and don't think tr won't be making tappan zdaughter jokes for the next 18+ years or so.
To tie this up in a Ghostfacian bow, Shaolin zdaughter.
Where is this event (that will be cancelled b/c of rain) going to be held? The Strand?
It's at Centercourt. Everything is under a dome now.
Indian Harbour Zdaughter
You should follow Biz Markie on twitter. In case you need convincing: @Passionweiss: Vastly would've preferred Kobe's return video to be him and Vanessa re-creating the "Bound 2" video, but you can't always get what you want.
http://www.thevaleriefund.org/jgcf/
You may or may of remember the player from High Point I mentioned after the Tribe's loss to High Point. His name is Allan Chaney. He started his career at Florida and the transferred to Va Tech. He had heart issues that nearly ended his career before a surgery allowed him to resume his career at High Point. He was averaging nearly 20 a game this year. Unfortunately he's had another issue arise with his heart and his basketball career is now over. Sucks for him. By all accounts a great kid. Life ain't fair sometimes.
Mark is right. And everything's relative. I just hung out with the nextdoor neighbor's cousin, an awesome Nebraskan our age who had a stroke two years ago and also lost his right arm halfway down the forearm. (I was too afraid to get details.) Nicest guy you'd care to meet, but he's just restored most of his cognitive skills minus a little short-term retention. (Dave, I actually asked him if he'd ever heard of H.M.) Healthiest outlook on life, thrilled to be alive -- reinforcing my same thoughts.
Life has no system of justice. Live well on the house money we've all been issued.
NBTYRSD
Agreed. I'll enjoy this whiskey.
Life is a good thing. Reinforced by reasons I will not go into here.
Enjoying a scotch at home watching Live Aid clips. U2 and Queen kill it. TR has pointed it out in this space before, but Freddie M holding the crowd in the palm of his hand is pure magic.
Freddie is everything a frontman should be.
hello gheorghies, you magnificent bastards. also, good night.
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