Tuesday, December 24, 2013

An Italian Gheorghemas Eve

As one or two of you know, I grew up on Long Island.  This leads certain people to make assumptions about my background.  A friend from college once asked whether I was "Italian or Jewish".  Confused, I advised I was neither and inquired why she thought I was either one.  She said that she knew I was from Long Island and assumed I had to be one or the other.

While I am not of Italian descent, going to Catholic boys school (insert joke here) (insert "insert" joke here) I did have a good amount of Italian-American friends.  Around the Christmas, this meant two things...."Dominick The Donkey" and The Feast of the Seven Fishes.

"Dominick the Donkey" is a little Christmas ditty sung by none other than the locally famous Lou Monte.  Clarence will recall that Mr. Monte is also the Campari tongued crooner who sings "Lazy Mary", which the New York Mets Baseball Club plays after "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" to distract fans from the fact that their team is nine outs away from losing another game. 

Essentially, "Dominick the Donkey" explains how Santa deals with the very complex problem of his reindeer's inability to travel the hills of Italy.  Here is a music video put together by a few of Brooklyn's finest to accompany Mr. Monte's opus.



The other Italian Christmas tradition that I was exposed to growing up was the Feast of the Seven Fishes.  Wikipedia describes it as such:
The Feast of the Seven Fishes is an Italian-American Christmas celebration.  Today, it is a feast that typically consists of seven different seafood dishes. However, some Italian-American families have been known to celebrate with nine, eleven or thirteen different seafood dishes. This celebration commemorates the wait, the Vigilia di Natale, for the midnight birth of the baby Jesus.
What I remember is my friend's families getting together to eat an obscene amount of food, drink lots of cruddy red wine made by one of their uncles, and yell at each other.  Needless to say it was always a fantastic event.  One year, when I was lucky enough to attend one of these all day events before going off to celebrate with my family, the matriarch of the family was almost in tears when she realized she had only prepared six "fishes" for the feast.  Thankfully, someone saved the day by printing out this picture and putting it on the table...


Merry Gheorghemas Eve!!


53 comments:

rob said...

happy birthday, fish!

Clarence said...

Rob's subtle reference is one if the great stupid brilliant stories of our college juvenilia and wit.

rob said...

yes, joke for two

Mark said...

My Italian in laws don't do the feast of the seven fishes. Instead it's an obscene amount of lobster and eggplant. Still fantastic.

T.J. said...

Abe Vigoda!!!!

Shlara said...

My Irish-Italian family follows the seven fishes tradition. So delicious!

rob said...

i always enjoy mark's stories of holiday gluttony. in a really jealous sorta way.

zman said...

Much like Tim Salmon and Mike Trout, Marls' ancestors were from Atlantis.

Clarence said...

Don't forget Kevin Bass and Mike Carp. And Catfish Hunter. And Gar Heard.

rob said...

clint dempsey returning to fulham. and unto us a savior was returned.

zman said...

Lefty ass wiping is no fun. I'm surprised because TR says he likes to use his left hand since it feels like someone else is taking care of him.

Shlara said...

ESPN created the top 50 "this is SportsCenter" commercials. The one of Gheorghe dancing with Karl Ravech & Kenny Mayne is #21. It's still really funny.

Mark said...

You'll enjoy this, Rob. The wife ordered pork belly a few days ago. I went to pick it up. 12 lbs worth. Approximately 10 lbs too much. The Puerto Rican guy in the meat department was a little confused.

mr kq said...

Betty Wang by Hospitality. Kind of a catchy tune.

Danimal said...

On tues, I had a pork belly and oyster sandwich. First ever. It was out of sight.

zman said...

Jon Kitna y'all!

Danimal said...

So relieved we've got another day of Xmas shopping left.

Mark said...

That sounds like a hell of a sandwich, Daniela.

TR said...

After a FedEx fail, my wife is trying to come up with a witty note to our kids to explain why a giant box with a gift will arrive on 12/26. She and I are both drunk, and she is trying to make a poem. There is a lot of failing going on.

TR said...

Owen Wilson was a co-writer and co-executive producer of Rushmore. Luke is such a deadbeat.

Clarence said...

Happy Christmas, Gheorghies!!

Marls said...

TR, just explain to them that the 26th is Boxing Day (it's also the actual second day of gheorghemas) the traditional day when servants and tradesman were given gifts. Then send them outside to paint the house before they get the gift.

Marls said...

Merry Christmas/Gheorghemas to all.

rob said...

merry christmas, you magnificent bastards

Mark said...

Merry Christmas, Gheorghies!

Marls said...

Santa left his and her monogrammed Moscow Mule tankards in my stocking.

Danimal said...

Merry Christmas! Have completed toy construction and garbage clean up. Just poured Bloody #1.

Got some leopard skin speedos for the pool. Just kidding. Just wish I did. Santa sucks.

Dave said...

merry xmas, gheorghemas, etc.

on the ninth day of gheorghemas, god let there be ping-pong!

Danimal said...

By far my favorite toy, or rather my son's is the remote controlled helicopter! I love it. I mean, he loves it!

T.J. said...

Feliz Navidid, Los Gheorghies

rootsminer said...

Merry Christmas all! My seven year old was making an offering to his porcelain overlord before even checking to see if Santa showed up. Kid rarely gets sick - not since last Halloween, in fact. HIs timing really sucks!

zman said...

zmother got zfamily matching sweaters. zChristmas is in full swing.

rob said...

daughter got me a fulham jersey. gonna suck when they get relegated.

zman said...

Did anyone else get BDP and De La tshirts?

Danimal said...

Updated version of Operation...a mentally challenged Helen Keller could get through each surgery with nary a buzz. Way too easy. America further weakened today.

Shlara said...

Merry Gheoghemas! I guess everyone needs a break from the family..,the movie theatre is PACKED

Dave said...

do NOT fly the remote control helicopter outside. we've donated many of those things to the local flora.

Dave said...

i am going to naples, florida tomorrow morning. any recommendations? is there some kind of beer indigenous to florida that is better than heady topper?

Danimal said...

Dave....they might have Intuition down there....locally made here in JAX.

Danimal said...

Lite Brite...more weakening. My lord.

Mark said...

Cigar City Brewery is based in Tampa and is quite good. Get you some of that, Dave.

Mark said...

My wife bought me bourbon (Bulleit-10 year), two pairs of retro Air Maxes, a tattoo gift certificate (every year…not complaining) and a smoker. The lady gets me.

Clarence said...

Damn, Mark. She's a keeper. What's first in the smoker? Boston Butt? Shoulder? Some racks of ribs?

Danimal said...

I second what Clare said. Nice goinz. I fully expect that you reciprocated in full.

Mark said...

We basically exchange tattoo gift certificates each year. Easiest present that the other is guaranteed to love. I think I took care of her pretty well.

Not sure about the first run on the smoker. I'll keep you posted.

Squeaky said...

Merry Xmas, Gheorhies. I'm sure Santa treated you all well.

We got the same operation game. Totally shamockery.

Time for some gin.

And Hospitality is coming out with a new album next year. Their first one with Betty Wang is pretty strong on the first side.

zman said...

Which air maxes?

TR said...

Hey (Betty) Wang. Don't tell them you're Jewish.

TR said...

Ha ha ha Knicks. Losing by 29 on Xmas. Mike Woodson about to get a pink slip. And with no big draft picks anytime soon, they will be bad for a long time. The only thing going for them is that they're not the Nets.

Mark said...

Sorry for the delayed response, Z.

Air MAx 95 London http://6.kicksonfire.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/b_13.jpg

Air Max 1 prm tape camo http://www.eukicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/nike-air-max-1-prm-tape-camo.jpg

Mark said...

The wife cooked up 2 lbs of pork belly but it wasn't ready until we were done with most of dinner. So, I had pork belly for dessert. Lots of pork belly.

zman said...

I almost bought both of those at different times but I'm trying to minimize my sneaker dependency. I saw the tape joints in Copenhagen and they were crazy pricey. Your lady truly loves you.

Marls said...

Greetings from Rome. Where the fuck is Day 9?