Wednesday, November 06, 2013

I Want You Back (The Rationale)

In every man's life, there comes a time when he must cover a Michael Jackson song . . . and not only cover the song, but also insert literal interpretations of the lyrics (in monologue form) between the verses.

While that time has not come for you, as of yet, it has come for me.

This is SFW.



I Want You Back (The Rationale)

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around.
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd,
but someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took.
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look.

Oh baby, give me one more chance, to show you that I love you.
Won't you please let me back into your heart.
Oh darling, I was blind to let you go,
but now since I see you in his arms, I want you back.



I know I recently indicated that I didn't want you around, 
but I made an error in judgement, 
and now that I know other men find you attractive, 

I want you back.

And you know that I require the opinions of others to validate my own,
and so once I saw you in his arms, I realized:

I want you back.

In short, my dislike of other men touching you
has proven to be a greater motivator than my initial love for you, therefore . . .

I want you back.

It does sound shallow and superficial and selfish when I put it into words,
but though we had no chemistry, I would still rather possess you and lock you away--
like a valuable object-- rather than let you go out with someone who actually loves you.

I want to hoard you.

Thus, I want you back.

You have to see it from my side . . . this is very hard for me.
I mis-estimated your value. 

And I might remind you that I rarely ever hit you.
Barely hit you. Infrequently. No patterns of abuse.

So I want you back.

I don't know how else to explain this, other than the obvious: 
I didn't appreciate you when I had you, but now that I see you with Nathan,
it makes me very jealous, and so in order to spite him, out of spite . . .

I want you back.





Trying to live without your love is one long sleepless night,
Let me show you girl, that I know wrong from right.
Every street you walk on, I leave tear stains on the ground
following the girl I didn't even want around.

Oh baby, give me one more chance, to show you that I love you.
Won't you please let me back into your heart.
Oh darling, I was blind to let you go,
but now since I see you in his arms, I want you back.




Admittedly, two weeks ago, my heart was NOT in this relationship . . .
but things have changed. 

I've had some insomnia, 

I think it's because I don't like imagining you with other men.

So though you show no signs of wanting ME back, 
I have decided that I want YOU back.

And I may have been following you around a bit,
lurking on your street . . . but this was only to indicate how much

I want you back.

I wouldn't even call it stalking, it was barely stalking, no chloroform or duct tape.

Just a pair of binoculars. 

But when I saw you kissing Nathan, I determined that:

I want you back.

What can I say? When you were my girlfriend, I treated you poorly,
but now that I don't have you, 

I really want you back.

And I can't promise I'll be any better, no promises here.

But you have to see where I'm coming from. 
I know you're in love with him, and I know it's a bit late for all this,
and believe me, I realize no one is going to be happy with the solution,
but the only way to set things straight is to leave Nathan
and come back to me, because

I want you back.


23 comments:

zman said...

I love the fact that you had to drop a SFW footnote.

rob said...

needs more hoodoo gurus

zman said...

When played on my shitty work computer speakers, the intro sounds like a Velvet Underground outtake ... as in, VU couldn't stay on beat so they scrapped that take. But this is still a complement. When you start singing, however, it's all Greasetruck.

zman said...

Or perhaps a compliment. I am loath to look up proper word usage because I loathe grammatical research.

Squeaky said...

Mars needs guitars!

Squeaky said...

And nice work Dave.

Dave said...

thanks, squeaky. i scrapped all the reverb, as you suggested.

i wouldn't be the first to cover the hoodoo gurus "i want you back." there's a really weird super-80's version by "simon f."

mr kq said...

It's always bittersweet. Rob, landing in Minny shortly for brief layover. Should I get Surly?

rob said...

hell yes, mr kq. go to ike's. tell 'em I sent you. when they give you a blank stare, just order a furious.

mr kq said...

I'll tell them Get Shorty sent me to Get Surly. That should clue em in.

Greg said...

If the Joe Senser's restaurants are still open in the Mini-Apple AND you like a good Cajun-chicken sandwich with waffle-fries & seasoned sour cream, well then do yourself a favor.

zman said...

More sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet?

Lumpy said...

talk about bittersweet. Saw TR's name in a news article today- unfortunately he was downgrading a stock i own. ouch

rob said...

on the bright side, lumpy, what the fuck does he know?

TR said...

Stock fell 5.6%. Boom goes the dynamite.

Sorry, Lumps!

Donna said...

So this comment has nothing to do with post, but very nice post, Dave!
Do any of y'all have espn3and have a sec to check the score of Louisville vs Pikeville and then report it here for me? Pikeville is my little school in the NAIA playing u of l for the big money...exhibition game. We don't get espn3 and I can't get the damn thing on radio! So y'all bein sports folk and all, figured I ask...I'll check back in case any of you check the score ...here's to hopin we don't killed!

Mark said...

Nic Vucevic is going to be a top 5 center in the NBA soon, plus his nickname is great. Vucci Mane. He and Oladipo have All-Star potential.

Mark said...

According to Twitter, Louisvilleis up 45-30.

Donna said...

Hey thanks Mark. Guess I should tweet :-)

zman said...

TR's gaseous influence is quite strong. He is gassy.

Mark said...

You don't have to tweet, Donna. Just follow the appropriate people on Twitter.

Mark said...

Kevin Ware is checking into the game for Louisville. Tough not be happy for him.

Donna said...

Right about Ware for sure! Figured out just bc mobile wouldn't work, can watch on pc! Now if we can just make up 20+ down?!