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Mark was a rockstar and posted this earlier today before his Dad of the Year trip to some bullshit volleyball tourney. I planned to get bombed at a local Oktoberfest, but instead we helped our friend find a new apartment. And then I got bombed at a Mexican joint. I'm a multicultural drunk. Please enjoy the picks below, though seriously, do not ever bet the way Danimal chooses.
Danimal Picks
Danimal on the wrong end of an ass-kicking contest. No worries…lots of time left. And the law of averages MUST begin to work in my favor soon, no? It’s 6-8-1 verses 12-3. I do hope Mark has wagered dollars in his picks. Maybe he’ll buy me that bloody mary come season end.
I would love to bet that Tennessee/GA game (and probably will but not here) but the fact of the matter is I’m in agreement w/Mark. 10.5 points to the VOLS just seems cray cray.
Maryland +16 vs Florida State: Gotta take MD and the points, right? Two tough D’s…Maryland trying to act all tough and stuff like they could win this thing. It’s certainly possible but am guessing a 35-21 FSU Victory…. Fear the Turtle
ND +5.5 vs ASU (cowboy stadium): Getting 5.5 points here on the ground floor, or top floor rather, b/c I just think this will move down. Maybe I’m wrong. I’d imagine that none of you saw the game last week against Oklahoma. It was actually pretty well played by the Irish once they moved past the first 3 minutes of the game where they went down 14-0 after 2 quick INT’s by my boy, Turnover Tommy. In his defense, they really weren’t his fault. He did go on and throw another, and the Sooners capitalized by scoring a TD off of that one also. Dagger. I’m still with the Irish. Let’s get it done.
OR -38 vs COLO: Colorado. Just hoping to win a head-to-header….it’s the 2nd half and I’m way down.
Mark Picks
So it's week 6 and things are working out great for me so far. Im sure that means this is where the wheels start to fall off and I start betting recklessly on additional games late in the day to make up for my losses here at G:TB. I'd like to say I'm smarter than that but you've all known me (in a weird internet sort of way) for too long. You all know better. I'm not very smart. I am bald though so I got that going for me.
Oregon (-38) at Colorado: I miss Colorado being good. Remember when Ralphie used to coming roaring down from the hill with 6-10 petrified Colorado students attempting to guide him while also praying to god that he wouldn't go ape shit and gore them to death? Yeah, those were the good old days. And by good old days, I mean back when Bill McCartney ran the program, actively recruited gang members from Southern California and had his daughter knocked up by one of his own players. Now, Ralphie's stoned out of his mind, McCartney is attending Promise Keeper rallies and Colorado gets waxed on a regular basis. Oh well, nothing lasts forever. I might as well make some money. DUCKS.
Georgia (-10.5) @ Tennessee: I dont understand this line. Georgia just beat LSU in a shootout and has proven it is one of the SEC's best team even with a very average defense. Tennessee on the other hand just had to squeak out a victory at home over South Alabama. I feel like I'm missing something (this is where Twitter makes the "Mark Richt has lost control of the spread for this game" joke). Or maybe Vegas just doesn't give a fuck this week. I'm not going to over analyze this and talk myself out of the bet. I'm just going with the Dawgs. Oh yeah, last week Clarence expressed surprise that I would bet on Georgia. Here's how I feel about betting on team's that I dislike:
Washington @ Stanford (-8): Washington is better than they're currently getting credit for in the polls. They deserve to be ranked higher than 15. The problem for them is that they have to go to Stanford this week to play one of the five best teams in the country. Stanford is just as physical on both sides of the ball as they've been the past few years. They also happen to be far more explosive offensively than they've been during that time frame. I'm not sure how ESPN managed to get Oregon-Stanford as a Thursday night game (11/7) this year but I feel secure in saying that it will be the highest profile Thursday Night CFB game in the history of ever. Like ever, ever. You heard it, er, read it here first. I'm taking Stanford once again. You might say my picks are boring. I say my picks are profitable.
Posts
159 comments:
I'll be filling Rob's role today. Hanging out at my stepdaughter's volleyball tournament in Orlando. Thank Jeebus that Florida doesn't play until 7.
What exactly is "rob's role"? I'll hang up and let you answer.
Missing out on viewing sporting contests in order to attend children's activities.
Lots of late action on UGA. Line is up to -14.
I strongly considered taking FSU today. Regretting not pulling the trigger now.
Mark, my comment last week was more needing clarification of your bet rather than questioning (I bet/pick against the Skins all the time), but I enjoyed the response clip nonetheless.
I failed to start a rhombus at Rob's expense.
Checking on the WM game online, I am reminded that one of my favorite NCAA names is Villanova's Poppy Livers. Sounds like an appetizer you could get at TGI Friday's.
Okay mark. Okay. I get it. You win.
Just got back from a kid's bday party. So I opened a crime soda and mixed it with some vodka.
Crime? How bout a cream, assneck?
Must have been a fun course to caddie on hey Geoffrey?
Maryland is playing well today. Nice start dan.
I bet Michelson and Bradley sleep in a bunk bed during these weeks.
I thought I bet, bet on the md game. Fortunately I did not. Today on the books are Clemson, Georgia, west va, Stanford, nd.
Cabrera was good to me yesterday. Never bet against that hard charging son of a bitch.
Geoff, 12 and 16 at muirfield....is/was it discussed those two being identical almost to augusta's 12 and 16? Was that the plan? I have never noticed that before.
I don't know, Danimal, a crime soda sounds tasty. Also, I'm confused. What did I win?
Keegan and Phil are going to get ice cream cones now.
On their bicycles which each has a card in the spokes.
Life, Mark. Life.
Shlara....You probably knew this but if not, Hines will be participating in Kona next week. Another celeb racer will be Gordon Ramsey.
Thanks, Dan. I guess. And now I get it, Clarence. I still can't bet on Florida. I'm too biased one way or the other to see clearly enough for wagering.
Volleyball tournament is over. Not a great day for our squad. 3 losses and out. Oh well. Time for football.
I should get an audio clip of our two girls currently in a contest of balling hysterically. It's really awesome.
This is a mid-90s type ass whipping of an ACC opponent by Florida State. Impressive stuff.
Also, Gene Deckerhoff finished up his call of the game by saying 'Welcome to the Big Ten, Maryland'. That's funny.
Balling!
zson is wearing underpants with no diaper for the first time ever. I feel like I'm skydiving without a parachute or having condomless sex with Pam Anderson. I will regret this in the medium to long term.
Wife just took the 2 young screaming ones away in our minivan. I hope she doesn't go Susan Smith mode.
Some good ball games on!
Dude just hit a 57 yarder for the dogs.
I hope my wife and girls are okay. Kinda gettin hungry.
Why are Tennessee wearing gray leopard print uniforms?
Aaron Murray nearly got Keith Marshall killed just now. UGA might be down its top two RBs now. Not too good.
Not seeing the leopard print. I think it's an attempt to go for that carbon fiber look which for some reason or another is neat among whoever selects variations of team uniforms.
It's their smoke uniforms, Z. Adidas is terrible at the alternate uniform thing.
Smoke? I'm old.
Carbon fiber helmets make sense. Fabric does not.
If you haven't seen the 2 pt conversion SMU completed to tie their game against Rutgers, go see it. Now.
Their mascot is named Smokey. It's stupid because its Tennessee.
Wow. Good stuff. Shit teams.
I did not anticipate Georgia having to play a white running back when I laid 10.5 pts against Tennessee.
Danimal--I'm sure Hines will finish before Gordon. Wish I was in Kona...
Wondering how Rob & the wife did today in the Rganar--it's about 90 degrees here in the nation's capital...way to hot to be running for 24 hrs...
Shlara....I think I gotta take Gordo. That might be a good post for Sunday.
Smokey the Volunteer? I'm sure that makes sense if you're southern.
BTW Mark ... raycess!
zson peed in the potty for the first time. If you only saw zwoman's reaction you would think he won Wimbledon.
i'm fucking exhausted. ran the final leg, which crosses the woodrow wilson bridge. no shade, lots of uphill. not an exaggeration to say it was the worst run of my life. made the more so by the fact that i had less than 90 minutes of sleep while running 22 miles in 18 hours. there's very little chance i see the entire red sox game today. anyone wanna do it with us next year?
hola gents
midafternoon drunj
rob, stop exercising so much
oh yeah, i touched up the post a bit
good touch
not bad
Smokey is a fucking dog?
and a bandit
That volleyball tournament was some bullshit. I'd like to thank my stepdaughter for picking a sport that involves air conditioning though.
Nice job Rob. Sounds kind of tough yet boring at the same time. Lots of downtime. Did you and Sam make out at all?
I would love to do one. There is one in key west I think in jan?
5 year old just beat me in Jenga.
I owe him a c note....which is now a dollar bill.
Did the uniforms get darker?
A small plant crashed on Flavet Field (a prominent tailgating area on UF's campus) about an hour ago. That's a bad sign, right?
Like a rose? Germanium? Pot? Depends.
Germanium.....that's funny.
zson just shit himself. Failed experiment.
Plane, damn it.
And Z, totally Raycess. Smokey is a coon tick hound. Wait...RAYCESS! Again!
Georgia is getting ridiculously beat up in this game. Two big offensive skill guys down already.
If you guys do that run in Key West, I'm in. To meet you and hang out in Key West. Fuck that run though.
Oh hai, Tennessee.
Aaron Murray is fast?
alert the media. oregon trails colorado.
Georgia's defense is trash. Their offense was awesome though. Things could get dicey with all these injuries.
i'm not prepared for miami and florida state to matter again
Am about 10 min behind on the ga game. Mark....this bodes well for you in jax! Regardless of this outcome. You coming up?
So often when a line seems so out of whack like this did, the best thing do do, so I hear, is to not bet or take the dog. So much easier to say.
UGA-Tennessee. Best game of the day. Who knew? Obviously not me. Danimal's advice is correct. Though I still feel like UGA covers if they don't have that rash of injuries. Doesn't matter how I feel though.
Danimal- Not sure about the Cocktail Party yet. We'll see how the Gators do these next few weeks.
Heartbreaker for Tennessee. I'm emotionally unable to feel bad for them.
This is cool.
http://www.uproxx.com/music/2013/10/lose-incredible-isolated-vocal-track-eminems-lose/
Looks like Alex Flanagan rode her horse to the game.
I just wish she'd get that septum fixed up.
Say what you will but the nd uniforms are quite nice.
pretty sweet battle of helmetry between notre dame and asu.
The ND coaches' track jackets are pretty horrific. I thought ASU wore red?
How's rob's helmet?
maroon, z. arizona wears red.
I rescind my Gordo prediction. Just saw his half IM time.
Florida-Arkansas is going to end in 2.5 hours. About 80-90 rushes combined by these two teams.
I'm in for the Key West game. Double In.
Clarence and I will drink and wait for you assholes at the finish line.
TYLER MURPHY!!!! God I love that guy.
An A.s.u. Buddy of mine who is at game txt me a pic of mc hammer wearing a "sparky did your mom" shirt. Didn't know mc went to a.s.u.
Each ASU helmet is different. That's kinda cool but I think it wouldnt work for a traditional CFB powerhouse.
Colorado tried, y'all.
they look like bowling balls. in a good way.
Baylor's offense might be better than Oregon's. No, really.
I am so fucked.
Nd sucks. They are a 7-5 team. Maybe. I can only hope for a gator bowl birth.
Those ASU helmets are really fresh. My Tyler Murphy crush is getting out of control.
Rob....key west Ragnar is 2/7 2/8....I could get some guys/gals....Danny?
The asu helmets are awful. "Let's spill paint over these and see what happens."
LSU game looks interesting.
Would you call me a retard if is said Rees might make it in the big leagues?
Do you like ND's helmets, Dan?
Ragn-otgonnahappen
Or are you just calling me a retard? Beat you to it.
Yeah I dig em....especially the mirror effect on the shamrock.
I think asu has one of the cooler logos. For that not to be incorporated into the helmet, IMO, is a miss.
It's on the back. Small tho.
I think ND's unis are bad. The team has too much history for gimmicky outfits like this. Shiny numbers? Andonized facemasks? The Gipper is spinning in his grave.
You said it.
I'm with Z on ND's unis.
But a schwag/new jack team like ASU or Oregon can wear weird new school shit because they have minimal historical significance.
Win one for the Zipper, z.
Z..I think the majority of the domers are in agreement with you. I struggle with it. It's a recruiting thing driven large in part by Brian Kelly. Good bad or indifferent the kids dig it. One game a year is fine by me.
56-14 Baylor at half. So Holgorsen's got that going for him. Which is nice.
Looking up "andonized" now.
I just want nbc to get rid of Tom Hammond and his botoxed face/lips.
I think it's really anodized.
I get the recruiting aspect. But when I turn on the TV there are a handful of teams I should recognize immediately. ND, Michigan, USC, Bama, Nebraska, OSU, Texas. I use to recognize Tenn until today.
Penn state too.
And penn state.
Their days will come I believe. The tv will usually tell you who is playing though, so there's that.
And now I have to look up anodized.
Northwestern has the least telegenic uniforms in the history of televised football but they're beating OSU so good for them.
Nd also now playing music in the stadium during warm ups and has plans for a big scoreboard. Many wadded panties in south bend.
We are in total agreement there z.
Guys, the R word to describe people with developmental disabilities offends a good number of people. I used to be an egregious violator but now I watch my step. You can tell me to F off for being a generally offensive douche who selectively picks his spots to be self-righteous, and maybe that's true. But minding our P's and Q's about the R word makes us better than the rest.
You are right Clarence....my bad. You could say "Danimal" rather than guys....it's ok. You'll always be my huckleberry.
I guess concussions are cool at the college level.
I hate Northwestern's helmets. The concept is good but the execution is poor. That's one big ass cat on there.
Stanford's units are much worse than Northwestern's.
You're the unit expert, TR.
Chuckle
What was the line on that game?
Nw/Osu....
One of the all-time bad gambling beats at the end of the Northwestern-OSU game. Junk fumble recovery to cover.
I really like Urban Meyer's unit too.
Northwestern was getting seven. Hearing Brent chuckle about it w/o being able to explicitly say it was priceless.
"Certain, um, numbers crunchers are gonna find this ending interesting."
Worst. Beat. Ever.
Can anybody guess the Roman numeral for 49 w/o peeking?
And on that fumble recovery for a TD, a Northwestern player just missed hopping on it in his own end zone for a safety. That would've meant a 6-point loss. Brutal.
XLIX. No idea why it isn't IL.
I told you Stanford was explosive.
Since I didn't ha e money on it, I thoroughly enjoyed Twitter exploding over the Ohio State cover. That's an all time bad beat.
hola gheorghies!
Hi Dave. A little early, I believe.
Calling it now. Stanford-Washington will be the game of the day. And most of us will miss it. I blame ESPN.
Okay. Maybe I lied. Georgia-Tennessee is probably the game of the day. Not shade on this game but I think I underestimated how terrific the SEC game of the week was.
Goodnight,Gheorghies.
Mark and any other boxing fans - if watching on dvr, fast forward through the abomination that is the Klitschko fight (seriously, I am not familiar with anyone in any weight class who is a dirtier fighter than Wladimir) and just watch the Crawford fight (entertaining) and Coto (looks like old Coto, at least through 2 rounds).
And then I watched the following 16 seconds to open the third round... Wow.
Brandon Jacobs fumbled but he didn't even realize it. How is that possible?
KRS sold out for NBA 2K14? SMH.
Giants trail Eagles 19-14 and score a TD w/ 3 minutes left in the third quarter. They mistakenly don't go for two and none of the announcers pick up on it. Eagles about to kick a FG to take lead by one.
FG is good. I thought Billick was supposed to be smart.
Billick is too busy sniping with the other announcer who gripes about never being invited to Billick's house. My guess is that Coughlin thinks it's "too early" to go for two. And that he doesn't read barnwell.
Is it better to be up by 8 than to go for two whilst up 7? I would go for two as that forces a two score game.
I would go for one in that situation b/c a team would need the 2-pointer to tie.
Looks like its academic now.
People say the darndest things on the Acela train...
The woman behind me just told her colleague (and the ENTIRE train car) that her 7-year-old son got kicked out of (Catholic) school this week for whipping out his penis. They had a good laugh about it. I had a good laugh at the reaction from the older woman sitting next to me.
When I was a kid, little boys HAD to whip it out at Catholic school.
You know how I said I'd chase bets if I lost some college games. Well, that already happened. But I actually won. Thank for sucking, Ryan Fitzpatrick.
Is a 7 years old's penis really big enough to "whip" out?
Things have taken an unexpected turn here on a late Sunday afternoon.
Eli is on pace for 38 INT. Eli is the new Vinny.
Meanwhile, Peyton is playing like Madden is set to Rookie. Just absurd.
peyton's early run has been otherworldly. he has to revert to some sort of mean, doesn't he?
Carlos Beltran is really good at playoff baseball.
In possibly the best game he's ever played, Romo does that. Can't make that shit up.
I say Romo is on Biz Stone's payroll.
It was zfather-in-laws birthday so I only saw the first quarter of the Bronco game. The box score looks fun.
The Movie is called Friday. Amanda Vanderpool CEO
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