Wednesday, March 21, 2012

We Love Women: A Very Special G:TB Post

We generally eschew serious political commentary in favor of goofy inside jokes and quixotic windmill-jousting (is there really any other kind?). Sure, we'll occasionally make fun of a politician here and there, or mock South Carolina, but politics isn't typically our bag.

We make an exception, though, when the old white men who still run way too many things try to wrench us back into the '50s. We're still more aggrieved when they mess with our womenfolk. (Apologies to our womenfolk for the use of the word womenfolk. We get protective sometimes. Not that you can't protect yourselves. Okay. I'll shut up now.)

The Republican Presidential primaries have been a special kind of circus, replete with personal attacks, charges of flip-floppery, flim-flammery, liberalism, and Newtism, and six different kinds of crazy. I've mostly looked on with bemusement tempered with a tiny bit of terror about the idea that one of that collection of whackadoodles, narcissists, and weathervanes might yet have a puncher's chance of becoming the most powerful person in the free world.

But when the conservatives came for the vaginas, they overstepped in egregious fashion. From the kerfuffle over HPV vaccination to a full blown hue and cry over contraception coverage in employer-sponsored healthcare plans (featuring a national conservative icon calling a law student a 'slut' on the public airwaves) to requiring women to undergo humiliating procedures before the paternal state deems them fit to exercise their reproductive rights (and I don't want to get into a debate over abortion - regardless of your personal beliefs, a woman's right to choose is settled law), the religiously-dominated conservative movement has been virulently and increasingly anti-female in recent years. (As an aside, Transvaginal Ultrasound will almost certainly be the name of an indie band soon, if it isn't already. Look for them at SXSW in 2013.)

In the face of political absurdity, we see no option but to fight back in kind. Thanks to the gloriously named website, Government Free VJJ, we have a plan of attack:

1. Knit or crochet a vagina or uterus
2. Print a message to enclose
3. Mail it to your male Senator or Congressional Representative [links provided]
4. We’re in the process of arranging hand delivery to congressional offices in Washington, until then, go ahead and mail yours in!
5. Record your items in this spreadsheet so we can track which representatives still need to receive a "gift"!
6. Don't forget to thank your representative if he respects women and supports our rights.

This going to be much bigger than the Circus Peanut Diorama Contest. Naughtier, too.

34 comments:

zman said...

I would mail one to senator santorum but he couldn't even win his senate seat so it will have no impact. Not sure how he could win the nomination if he can't keep his senatorship but what do I know.

Jessica said...

Omg. I. Love. This. I have a lot of red and pink yarn. I sit at a lot of high school softball games. I need a new project. Done. So completely in.

T.J. said...

Crocheting vaginas, eh?

rob said...

ovaries, too

T.J. said...

Vaginas, ovaries, vulvas...oh my.

KQ said...

I have recently started hanging out with a really cool group of women, and we are learning how to knit, among other things. I will bring this to our next gathering and confirm everything they already suspect about me.

Mark said...

A cool group of women that knit/crochet? Is KQ in her 70s?

rob said...

yes, the 1970s

KQ said...

Knitting is cool and hip Mark, didn't you get the memo? And keep in mind when I say "knitting" I mostly mean "drinking."

mr kq said...

tell the crew how the knitting host describes the action.

rob said...

ooh, yes. tell us about the action.

rob said...

sorry, that came out all republicany.

Jessica said...

Crocheting/knitting is totally cool. At least I like to pretend it is when I'm crocheting.

Shlara said...

yay women's rights!

and I'm having another rough day with a d-bag laywer...Zman, I might need your counsel on how to throw him off his game. or better, shut him down completely.

rob said...

sean payton suspended for a year. holy shit, lord goodell ain't fucking around. gregggggg williams may never coach again. hell, the league may have him executed.

rob said...

and i would really like to hear contrarian jerry's take on tebow to the jets. i like it 'cause it'll make tr and teejay go apeshit.

T.J. said...

so now the Jets have TWO shitty quarterbacks/magazine cover models

TR said...

Tony Sparano invented the wildcat, so the thought is he can use Tebow in that formation. It's also believed he will add some Christian values to the locker room. I don't think Sanchez will see it as a threat b/c Tebow throws worse than I do.

I hate the move. The team has so many needs that a 4th round draft pick could fill. I would be more bitter if I hadn't just returned from an epic snowboarding trip to Park City. 2 feet of powder on Sunday night/Monday. Ridiculous powder riding on Monday and Tuesday after a fun half-day on Sunday afternoon.

T.J. said...

Shaka Smart wisely told Illinois to F off.

KQ said...

Ok Mr. KQ and Rob...please keep in mind we also do things like hike, rock climb and there's talk of skydiving. But the knitting party included a skill known as 'finger knitting' where one can knit without having to use needles. So between the finger knitting option and the finger foods, we were all invited to come "enjoy some finger fun!" You're welcome, and no you can't join.

rob said...

well, i...um...

T.J. said...

Well then...

Dave said...

can't i just draw one and send it?

Danimal said...

that vag kind of goes w/those terrific loafers from yesterday.

Danimal said...

and thank the lord baby jesus for the jets.

T.J. said...

Not so fast my friend...

Danimal said...

fuuuuuuuuuuuuudge

zman said...

Shlara, email me your problem and I will tell you how to out dbag the dbag. It's one of my strengths.

Dave said...

i am very jealous of your trip, TR. our spring snowboarding is obviously "sunned out."

rob said...

hey guys! rg3 completed 51 of 55 passes today! holy shit! i'm getting all redskintingly.

rob said...

headed to lancaster, pa with the family this weekend for a dance competition. our hotel is exactly 6.9 miles from intercourse, pa. awwww, yeah.

Danimal said...

Jets are now thanked.

Danimal said...

a co-worker just arrived to work after going to the doctor's office. at the doctor's office there was someone there with a service pony. true.

T.J. said...

Was it Ginuwine?