The Top Five Facial Expressions in Film

There are people that take film very seriously.  Film buffs.  Not only do they know the names of all the actors in the movie, but they also know who wrote it, who directed it, and who composed the musical score.  They can actually play the Kevin Bacon game without the use of IMDB.  They talk about lighting and color saturation and visual motifs and Dogma 95.  On Oscar night, they can't wait to see who wins "Best Sound Editing"-- which is not to be confused with "Best Sound Mixing."  They'll tell you which film won "Best Costume Design" seven years go.  They have had serious discussions about make-up.

But here at G:TB, we don't take film so seriously.  We are not so discerning, as you can see here.  And there are no foreign films on this list.  And we don't even call them films, we call them movies.  But we do like to look at stuff on screens.  Why?  For a reason film buffs rarely talk about, because it is too obvious.  Actors (and real people, for that matter) are good at making faces.  Forget all that other stuff:  the plot and special effects and music and crane shots . . . none of that matters as much as the ability of an actor to look the right way at the right time.  It barely matters what they are saying, as long as they've got the right look on their face.  But movie buffs think they are beyond this.  They want to talk about all the superficial stuff, when what is important are the people on the screen and the expressions they are making.

And so, without further analysis and in the spirit of the Teej, here are the Top Five Facial Expressions in Film.  You will not find any foreign facial expressions on this list.

1.  In the movie Spinal Tap, when Bobbi Fleckman tells the bands manager, Ian Faith, that "money talks and bullshit walks," Ian Faith makes the greatest facial expression in the history of film.  If you don't remember this, you can watch it here.  It's near the end of the clip, but it's worth watching the entire scene, it's the one with the description of Spinal Tap's album cover for "Smell the Glove."

2.  John Belushi in Animal House.



3.  Fay Wray when she first sees King Kong.



4.  Feathers McGraw in Nick Park's claymation masterpiece The Wrong Trousers.



5.  Jack Nicholson in The Shining.  He says, "Here's Johnny," but did he have to say anything?



This list is not so definitive, so feel free to add to it.  Jim Carrey and Jack Black certainly deserve a mention, although sometimes they ham it up too much.  This is just to get the ball rolling, to start the discussion.  The final goal, of course, is for the Academy Awards to consider The Best Facial Expression in a Feature Film as Oscar worthy. And G:TB will be responsible.

Until then, do this: the next time you're hanging out with some real dyed in the wool film buffs and they're discussing Steadicam shots and the seamless integration of digital effects, try to dumb it down a bit.  Tell them you really liked Heather Graham's sex face in Boogie Nights.  Or you thought Clint Eastwood did a fantastic job of looking tough in Gran Torino.  What can they say?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  All they can do is look at your smug, shit-eating grin.