Friday, July 16, 2010
Cultural Exchange
For your amusement, we present the following image captured from a shipping container on the back of a truck in Boston traffic last week. It was a bit difficult to tell the kids why my wife and I enjoyed it so.
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78 comments:
I don't get it. Is this a Twilight joke? Is it funny because the mating fish are vampires? Or because vampires don't have dongs?
I guess zman not a fun of dolphins doing each other in the dolphin rear.
Those are dolphins? Dolphins have fangs?
remember when zman enjoyed juvenile humor? those days were great.
Seriously. First he disappears all week. And then he comes back all mature.
What have you been up to recently, Z-Man?
Also not funny to Zman:
Marvin Gaye
Uruaguay
Poopdeck
Dick Trickle
Cock fight
Pussy willow
Smegma Nu
Liquor? I hardly know 'er.
Tiny pianist
DSL's
Sam Gash
Ray Poon
In the words of Jimmy Buffett when he was cool, my head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus. Late night of boozing last night -- almost went to see the Smashing Pumpkins last night, but out of respect for Rob's disdain for Billy Corgan, I held off and drank in bars all night. (Also, tickets were friggin $50. Seems like a hefty price for a washed up alt-90s act.)
Washington, DC was hit with what's believed to be a 3.6-magnitude earthquake this morning. Either that or Albert Haynesworth fell off the toilet reaching for his breakfast burrito again.
Zing!
only igor could go from 'almost' making it out to shithammered hungover.
igor!
Welcome to all our new followers from our neighbor to the north. I love your maple syrup, herb and tuxedos.
Cut me some slack. I've been vacationing on Nantucket all week with only my BB to blog with. And I'm eloping this afternoon. My blogging has suffered but now I'll need this job more than ever.
Wait...
WHAA?!?!?
sure, sure, the old 'i'm eloping' excuse. who hasn't used that one?
I'd say jam yourself, but I don't think that cuts it, so I'll say congratulations. Glad to see you aren't once bitten, twice shy.
(Injecting Great White lyrics is the key to any good comment.)
And here's a little piece of advice for the groom... do NOT introduce your bride-to-be to the Man from Nantucket until after you're married.
Have you told her your third wife hasn't even been born yet?
I like that line a lot. Might've first heard it from the immortal Dave Flynn in fact.
I think that's a Marstonism. D-train probably says it a lot and tells people he made it up. Typical Winchester.
did zman just announce he's eloping on the g:tb commments?
was the nantucket trip a honeymoon in advance?
the picture made me think of a giant monster penis with fangs.
If I were an asshole I'd tool on you for being a music snob and always injecting one-hit-wonders from the 80s into your comments and then acting like their really good bands if you only take the time to delve into the musicianship of the B sides from their second album. But I'm too coolfor that. Thanks for the well-wishes in all seriousness.
"and i'm eloping this afternoon." what does that even mean? i need more information-- this deserves a photo-essay post. you might as well get your new wife used to your priorities.
This deserves a circus peanut diorama.
Well then Z. That's certainly newsworthy. Good luck, sir. Glad to see I'm not the only G:TBer taking the plunge over the next 6 months.
Waiting for d-train "Married to Mob" joke...
Wait, are you skipping OBFT?
new recurring feature destined to stop recurring for the g:tb comments section: underground wedding announcements.
I've been taking photos all week for the post. The zwoman keeps saying "does anyone even read this thing besides your friends? What's the point of it?"
And Great White sucked terribly even before they set a bar on fire. Sucked, Jack. I don't think they are good at all.
And you're wrong about the music snob stuff. Now let me get back to my 10,000-word essay on why Hoodoo Gurus are actually a more influential Australian band than AC/DC.
you tell her we average over 7,000 unique page views a month, z. most of them are me hitting 'refresh', but still.
If the Z-man really is eloping, I think the rest of us need to honor the event by reenacting the awfulness/awesomeness that was his bachelor party. TR, do you stil have Sapphire's number? She must be about 65 years old by now.
You hitting refresh does not get included in the count of "unique" page views, donkey.
joke, teej. joke.
Look at Tech Support Teejay! Jeez, Rob. Get it together.
TEEJ!
g:tb scores a '4' on google's pagerank algorithm (thanks to dave for the heads up). my company's website scores a '5'. as soon as g:tb catches my company, i'm quitting to do this fulltime.
That was the easiest bait job I've ever had. Z-Man bit and spilled the beans immediately.
I hope Z-Man borrowed Juan Carlos' old "I am the man from Nantucket" t-shirt for the trip. And the ceremony.
Sapphire, Jewel of the Bronx, is likely in her mid 40's these days. I know this because she told us she was 37. That made her 58 in stripper years. And being from the Bronx tacks on another 11 years.
But let's not crush her too badly. She was the one who sold us the goods that allowed us to elect the pope in a kitchen with a beer can. You have to love a fully armed working girl.
It's never a strong statement for a stripper when the guys at the BP would rather watch NHL hockey on a 12" TV than look at her.
Lots of blog comments about BP these days. Probably millions. And TR's is a snowflake, the only one of its kind in the world.
Those shirts are ubiquitous. I'm wearing a seersucker thong with griffons embroidered on it. Seriously, they have griffon shorts at Murrays's Toggery.
Those shirts are ubiquitous in Nantucket? The snooties of Nantucket do realize that limerick contains the words "fuck" and "cunt," right?
Sorry for the vulgarities -- but it was a direct quote, not my own words. I would have used much softer language, like "piledrive" and "ham wallet."
Meat Curtains?
Not lying, I just got the following text on my phone:
"its lacie from tortugas, when r you guys coming in town? Trying to get some tall boys for ya."
Awesome. Totally awesome. I think I derive more pleasure than is warranted out of bartenders remembering us and our drink orders, but who cares?
Beers she wanted. My tallboys she got.
The limerick shirts are for tourists from outside new england. For folks like me. And frat guys. People who summer here wear hotchkiss and princeton tshirts.
lacie! fuck yeah. that's some phenomenal customer service.
was on the road today. i see that you were able to carry on despite that.
igor - the 3rd wife comment is not one i use and/or take credit for. it is a marstonian comment that i'm sure he stole from some hack. i use the old, "this is my future ex-wife, valerie" (by the off chance you're reading this dollface, i love you!)
i've got pics of z's wife if anyone would like to see.
hooters, as in great 80's band.
does lacie like to go to bullfights on acid?
I like d-train showing up 5 hours late to the party...but still finding time to cover all comment topics at once.
I feel compelled to ask, is this elopement the same wedding that the Gormleys told us a few weeks ago on Cape Cod that they were attending on Nantucket?
if you'd like extra colorful Brit Open coverage this wkd, listen to 146 on your satellite radio dial while watching on the telly. it's akin to listening to sonny & sam while watching 'skins fball but w/british accents and not quite as drunk
i thought everyone was coming to the cape??? just landed - see you at the courthouse z.
I'm at the Yarmouth Heart and Kettle.
Where the fuck is everyone else?
i'm over at the strip club in mashpee - i thought we were starting there as a tribute to where the two met.
D-train working the Diceman material I sent him.
Nice.
little boy blue....HAYYYY!!!
Mashpee is one of my favorite Cape towns, though I've never been there. It's just fun to say.
I'm in Orleans doing a little candlepin bowling, then I'm headed up to the Beachcomber in Wellfleet to slurp a few and throw a few back. I'll take the ferry over for the wedding tomorrow.
No shit? I'm duckpin bowling right now in Chatham.
teej, i'm at the impudent oyster. stop by, but don't bring igor.
But isn't Lacy Underalls looking for him?
we'll meet her at the woodshed in brewster. it's the friendly bar.
63-80 is bad, right?
54-46 that's my number
Toots!
okay-- i just read through all the comments trying to find some elopement details and got nothing but inanity.
how about this: did you text lacie first, igor, or is she actually thinking about our witty mustachioed gang all year round now.
and i am having a good stretch with the technical stuff-- i figured out that gheorghe has a high page rank and how to automatically feed a blog into twitter. now if i only had some useful content . . .
I am married.
This is indeed the same elopement the Doogers told you about. We had a damn fine lobster feast at Le Languedoc, if I may toot my own cannubial horn.
Insert TJ cannabis horn joke here.
Dave, scout's honor I did not reach out to Lacie first. She is truly proactively interested in our drinking habits and happiness.
Zman, congrats. And good luck.
if this is the case, then i am coming down with my award winning mustache.
Next secret G:TB wedding occurring in a few hours, or whenever the chloroform wears off on a L. Donovan. Congrats Shlara, hope you two crazy kids are happy. You might want remove the duct tape for the vows.
tom watson won't like those three audible f-bombs tiger just dropped
SportsCenter just used a graphic to compare Carl Pavano's mustache to Super Mario's. At Gheorghe, we compared Dave's stache to Super Mario's last week. Friggin' ESPN, lifting from G:TB yet again.
Fuck Carl Pavano. He and Javy Vazquez and A.J. Burnett and Kevin Brown can go form a human centipede and die.
dammit, t.j.!
i had just forgotten about the existence of the human centipede and now i'm going o think about it again.
another snooze fest this british open
are we sure paul casey isn't french?
what on daly's green earth is tom watson wearing?
I would describe my father's reaction to not being invited to my elopement as "ripshit to very ripshit."
how's that conversation go? 'sooo, pops. guess what i did this weekend?'
It was fine until he asked if my mother was there, at which point he concluded that "You didn't elope. This was a goddamn wedding! Everyone was there but me!"
Wait, you invited Gormley but not your dad? That's Fredoesque disregard for the family.
Igor, we could have used your beer drinking prowess on Friday night. 4 cases of beer for 5 guys. One of those being Paci.
My wife was a little unhappy with my "this is my last beer" line and proceeding to chug it when she left the room. Which led me to then open another one and use the same line over and over again. The 7:45AM ferry and 4 1/2 hour drive to CT with a screaming 2 year old in the back of the car was not fun.
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