Miami (FL) @ Virginia Tech (+2)
I don't buy the Miami resurgence. I think Oklahoma's gonna go all Boomer Sooner on them in a few weeks, with or without Sam Bradford. Jacory Harris seems almost as likely to do something moronic as he is to do something dazzling (noteworthy evidence in favor of this position: his threat/promise to wear a pink suit to the Heisman ceremony should he be invited). And against Bud Foster's turnover-happy Hokies, Harris will be given all sorts of opportunities to wear the metaphorical pink suit of ignominy.
On the other hand, I don't buy Virginia Tech's offense. At all. Tyrod Taylor simply isn't very good at quarterbacking the football. He's Jacory Harris without the style. Eh, that's not fair to Harris. More accurately, he's Brian Randall without the skill.
What we have here is a dilemma, boys and girls. ACC Football, it's flawwwwtastic. After much consultation and several coin flips, we like Miami to go to Lane and pull out a win. We also like ESPN to go all in on the 'Canes over the next several weeks, with feature stories on Bernie Kosar's hair straightening, Lamar Thomas' post-Teague redemption and fall from grace, Randy Shannon's quiet confidence and gambling addiction, and Warren Sapp's Japanese commercial acting career.
Bonus Worst Game in America
Middle Tennessee State @ North Texas (+7.5)
The Raiders take on the Mean Green in this battle of schools that may or may not be fictional and almost certainly served as the inspiration for the Scott Bakula/Kathy Ireland vehicle, 'Necessary Roughness'. MTSU beat Maryland, 32-31, last week, stretching their winning streak against the Terps to 2. North Texas got predictably stomped, 53-7, by Alabama. It may be a measure of the program's history that USA Today calls their 1-2 start 'a pleasant surprise'.MTSU has a win over Memphis in addition to Maryland, which North Texas features a freshman quarterback with the terrific name of Riley Dodge. As much as we'd like to go with the kid, the results on the field are pretty compelling. Raiders coast in Denton.
Illinois @ Ohio State (-15.5): Tough game to pick here. I'm morally opposed to picking in favor of Ron Zook, unless its a barefoot waterskiing competition. That guy is an animal on the open water. Off topic: Anyone remember when he nearly lost a foot during a waterskiing accident while the Head Coach at Florida? Yeah, well, he did and I think that anecdote is the perfect summation of his ill-fated tenure in Gainesville. Good times, gone terribly (nearly tragically) wrong. Anywho, I don't want to bet on Towlie here but I also don't believe in Ohio State. They lost a ton of defense last year and their one offensive palymake is Terelle Pryor. And, he is terribly overrated. He doesn't throw very well and he seems to shy way from contact which limits his effectiveness as a running threat despite his size and speed. Personally, I think he'd be better off saying fuck it, moving to WR and maximizing his significant physical gifts. But, what the hell do I know? I'll tell you what I know...15.5 is waaay too many points to give up in what looks to be the football equivalent of two down syndrome kids mud wrestling. I'll take Illinoize and the points. Remember folks: Ron Zook sees improvement and they are going to get things corrected.
Arkansas @ Alabama (-14): Anyone see the Arkansas-Georgia game last week? That was fun wasn't it? Its nice to see shootouts in the SEC from time to time. It balances out the AFC North style slugfests that we so often see when two top tier SEC teams square off (think LSU-Auburn of the mid 2000s). Well, I have some bad news. This isn't going to be one of those games. While the Razorbacks' offense is definitely legit, its defense is definitely shit. They couldn't stop Joe Cox last week and, believe me, Greg McElroy is much better than the Ginger Ninja. On the other hand, the Tide's defense is light years ahead of the shit that Willie Martinez is throwing out on the field in Athens these days (Seriously Willie, it might be time to start revising that resume. And umm, it might also be time to stop going by Willie. You are not British, black or under 10) and they'll prove to be a far stiffer test than the Dogs were. Bama has early round NFL draft picks in all three areas of their defense (Cody, Arenas, McClain, Hightower, etc.) and an evil little man caning them and feeding them raw hyena intestines Monday through Friday. Did I also mention that Bama has 4, yes 4, talented tailbacks that all play? Yeah, well, there's that too. Fuck all that bullshit talk about Miami. As of today, Alabama's the best team in the country, and as much as Nick Saban respects Bobby Petrino's ability to lie to and shit all over people who have trusted him and paid him exorbitant amounts of cash, thats not going to help Hogs one bit tomorrow. Alabama by at least 17.
Okay, boys and girls. That's all you're getting for now, unless TJ, TR, Zoltan or any other member of ever growing yet still unbelievably lazy staff decide to get off their ample posteriors and, you know, actually do their job. Be safe out there. Which, of course, is my way of saying. Get drunk and fight somebody...though not necessarily in that order.
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320 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 320 of 320Mark Sanchez is probably going to end winning the Offensive Rookie of the Year, but Percy Harvin is head and shoulders above any other rookie (Which, if you watched him enough in college shouldn't be all that surprising). Thank God he didn't end up in Oakland.
If the Skins lose, I'll predict Zorn doesn't get fired. But if they lose at home to the Bucs next weekend too, then it might happen. This team--she is bad. If Matthew Stafford as even marginally accurate this would be a blow out.
Stafford was apparently taught by Browning Nagle how to throw touch passes.
I know the Bucs are terrible but do the Giants really have to sit Eli for the whole 4th? Come on, I was banking on the ineptitude of the Bucs to at least help my fantasy team.
Same statement about Harvin applies to Stafford. If you watched him enough it was easy to see that he was missing a lot of the necessary ingredients. I'm not talking JaMarcus Russell level obvious but still, it didn't take a football savant.
Byron Leftwich: 22 yards passing.
Josh Johnson is now playing QB for the Bucs. Any guesses where he went to college?
Calvin Johnson is so open on every play its hilarious. He would be the best WR in the league on any other team...except Oakland, Tampa Bay, and Washington...
Pretty sweet possession for the Skins right now...
Josh Johnson? University of Phoenix?
Josh Johnson went to San Diego. I have no idea why I know that.
Yeah, you can feel that Detroit is going to win this.
Does Schwartz let Stafford throw it here? I'm thinking run, run, screen. Might be enough to get a first though.
Even tho CBS switched over to the Jets game, I'm finding it difficult to not still flip to this Skins/Lions fiasco.
TJ wins. By the way, I like Josh Johnson a lot. I like him more as a long term prospect than Freeman. And guess what, he's moving the Bucs offense for the first time all day.
I feel like people might riot in DC if the Skins lose.
I fucking hate Michael clayton.
I am not remotely surprised the Lions are winning. I picked them in my WFAN straight-up winner pool.
Jim Zorn may find his office packed up by the time he gets back to it.
Matt Stafford is never going to be a good NFL QB. He's missing wide open receivers by 10 yards. Of course, he's good enough to beat the Skins as a rookie...but not much else...
You aren't surprised because you're rational. Unlike most Skins fans.
I'm still trying to figure out when I would've ever heard Johnson went to San Diego. Must've been some McShay stalking
Amen, Geoff. Amen.
If the Lions still had Jon Kitna, they would have won by 20 today.
I'm thinking Redskins turn it over on downs here inside the 10. Thoughts?
He played in the Senior Bowl so he may have heard it there. Thats how I first heard of him. He was noteworthy because he put up gaudy numbers but it was against inferior competition, so the scouts (and analysts) were particularly on him during the game.
Just for fun you can flip by ESPN and listen to Joe Morgan say things like "Sparky Anderson always told me, as long as you use up all 27 outs you always have a chance".
I mean, what?
Geoff...you drinking? I feel like you are...or should start.
That's the "I'm gonna fire Zorn" look on Danny.
The people sitting around Snyder look petrified to talk...like he'll fire someone if any one utters a word.
If the Lions had Mike McMahon today they might've won by 20.
I have two twin daughters who are not yet a week old. No, not drinking. This is my three hours of "enjoyment" for the day while my wife is hanging with the girls. Thanks for making it special Redskins!
For anybody not watching the Jets-Titans game, the Jets are in their throwback "Titans" uniform and the Titans are in their throwback Houston Oiler uniforms. Jeff Fisher is on the sidelines wearing a t-shirt that says "Houston Oilers." I tried to explain this all to my wife. She thinks it's retarded. I agree.
At least your daughters won't remember you swearing...yet.
My wife and I had a bet who would swear in front of the kids first. She lost last night.
I just smell a Pick 6 coming from Stafford.
Holy shit that catch by Calvin was nice.
If the Jets win and Favre and the Skins lose, I will be a happy guy.
And the Yanks sweeping Boston to ice the division would be sweet.
I was getting that feeling too TJ...which means it aint happening.
Ballgame.
Oh man...does Danny fire Zorn on a Jewish holiday?
I knew the Bucs would be terrible. I had no idea they'd have me thinking about the draft by Week 3.
The Redskins have one offensive TD in 12 quarters this year and they are going to lose by double digits to a team that hasn't won since 2007. I would be fine with the firing...though it would accomplish nothing.
Is Terry Robiskie sill available?
Jim Leonhard just had a great 30 yard punt return after being pasted by a tackle on a blitz the play before. I, on the other hand, am picking feta cheese out of my teeth.
I think Rich Kotite can clear his schedule.
Terry Robiskie was on Romeo's staff in Cleveland last I saw. So I'll guess that he's currently flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong.
Fox is trying to jinx this Lions win.
Kris Jenkins is a god damn beast.
I wonder if Cowher and Shanahan are licking their chops, thinking they can get Danny to give them $8 M per year and full GM powers.
What I think would be fun is if Danny fired Zorn but then didn't name an interim coach from the current staff but instead brought someone in from outside...Holmgren...Schottenheiner...Shannahan.
Bringing in an outside guy in week 4 would be colossally dumb.
Timmay, just ask Marty how a deal like that works out, once Danny gets antsy and the whole GM portion gets taken away.
If the Lions get their first win in 2 years today, does Snyder fire Zorn on the spot or does he wait until they get back to Maryland?
Sorry, hadn't hit refresh in a while.
How about if he just walks in to Zorn's postgame presser, steps on stage and announces it?
That would be fun.
Someone want to get Zoltan caught up?
That might top Nolte's presser in Blue Chips...
Why is Rock Cartwright in the game? Portis and Betts are both hurt?
I don't think Gary Kubiak's making it out of this season with his job.
With three timeouts, do you kick it away here?
Oh man, the Lions...um...
Portis has bone spurs in both ankles. You might want to get used to seeing more of Rock.
Drew - What did you do with today's tickets?
I think the Browns should fire Mangini right now.
If I'm coaching the Lions, we're not letting Matty throw it here.
I ate the tickets. It's a pathetic story.
Matt Stafford sticking it to me.
Unreal...the kid finally throws a touch pass properly.
Kerry Collins just reverted to form.
I can't believe the Titans/Oilers are going to start the season 0-3, and the Jets/Titans are going to start 3-0.
He's chugging beers and ashing his cigars on strippers?
Titans WRs are not afraid to drop balls left and riht. And Rex Ryan is not afraid to bring the all-out blitz on 4th and 23. The Jets are going to win and they have not played all that well. I'll take that.
Titans will be lucky to be 8-8. A team with a lot of soft spots.
In most of the power rankings that come out next week, the Redskins have a real shot at being ranked #32.
Favre has 84 seconds to go 80 yards. I hope Patrick Willis crushes him.
How many jokes about "Washington provides Detroit with another bailout" do we get to suffer through after this?
I'm getting the last minute of the Niners/Vikings game. Favre looks weird in purple.
This aint over yet fellas...
The saints are already inside the Bills' 10 yard line.
TJ, when this ends be sure to turn to Comcast Sportsnet. I'm pretty sure Brian Mitchell is going to say some outlandish shit.
Will Zorn play for the FG?
Absolutely...for once I can't wait to watch postgame Skins coverage.
Favre!
Favre with a miracle. Its not gonna stand up on review, I don't think.
What did that fossil just pull off?
To Greg Lewis?! I thought he was out of football after the Pat cut him.
Actually, I think it will. Fucking amazing catch and throw.
Favre just threw the most ridiculous TD pass I've seen in years. A 50 yard LASER to Greg Lewis. Unbelievable.
A 40 yard game winning TD pass with 2 seconds left. Over two 49er defenders.
The Skins lose to the Lions AND i get to hear Favrelatio all week. Thanks God...
Wow. Allrighty then.
80 yards, no timeouts, 1:29 left on the clock.
That guys a narcissistic douche but that was one unbelievable fucking play.
Switching to Comcast now...
B Mitch has duct tape on his mouth. Seriously.
And he refuses to take it off and comment.
Favre had the first 300 yard performance by a QB since Culpepper in September of 2005. How is that possible? Four years without 300 passing yards?
Favre is absolutely smitten with himself on the sidelines. Hard to blame him, in all honesty.
Greg Lewis will get 10% of the praise, despite catching a 40+ yard pass in traffic and getting both feet down with little room for error.
I can't believe I'm going to say this, but Brian Mitchell is spot on with his analysis of the Skins players, coaches and management.
Yeah, Lewis's catch was probably at least equally as impressive. In real time there was no way I thought he got control of the ball quick enough.
How the hell did Lewis stay inbounds? Wow.
I hate watching the Dolphins because every third word the commentators use is "wildcat." I'm fucking sick of it.
Mo Rivera taking the hill right now to clinch the AL East. Fantastic.
The Bills are going no-huddle against the Saints. Real smart.
The Favre pass went 54 yds in the air. Still ridiculous the 20th time you see it.
It seems the Bills are using the "it worked in the 90s" philosophy. Coincidentally, this is the same line of thinking that led the execs at Pizza Hut to hire Jim Bruer as their new pitchman.
Jackpot!
Those Seahawks jerseys are atrocious.
There is so much wrong with the Redskins right now, it's hard to know where to begin. So I'll start at the least likely (and relevant) place: Ladell Betts is utterly unaware that there is a game clock in every NFL football game. He's pretty sure you go until one team gets tired and quits.
I'm a guy who likes and usually defends Zorn, but...
Jim, the first step is admitting you suck. Know your team and how putrid it is. I was initially okay with going for it on 4th down early, but here's the thing: there's a reason you aren't scoring points ever in the red zone. Your offense sucks. That's 3 points that might've come in handy. Take 'em.
And when you've just forced the other team into a 49-yard field goal attempt, don't take the penalty that bumps them out of FG range. Let them kick the FG. Your defense sucks. Several plays later when they score 7 points instead of those 3, don't be surprised. Your people suck. Those 4 points you game them sure woulda come in handy when you were driving down the field, losing by 5 and needing a TD.
Come to terms with the level of suck, and it will serve you better.
here's where my loathing of the snyderskins has taken me: i took my daughter to see a play today at 3:00. by choice. and i'm glad i did.
fucking.
a.
And another thing, Jim: did you see the end of the Vikings-Niners game and say, "Hey . . . you can do that?"
Can Jason Campbell not throw the ball 36 yards? Really? The Hail Mary isn't exactly great odds, but the "spazzy lateral" works about once or twice every 30 years, and you usually need to get a marching band involved. Malcolm Kelly can't do a jump ball? Maybe a lucky tip? Give yourself a fighting shot, man.
percy harvin's quickly becoming my favorite nfl player. which makes sense, as he was my favorite college player.
You should become Bills fans.
Well, well, well...we have a ballgame in Cincy.
Isn't Cedric Benson reviving his career with the Bengals one of the most unlikely stories in sports?
Also...the Dolphins are regressing to their actual level of talent rather nicely.
Phil Simms has some pretty good insight. I think I'd really like him if, you know, he was so effing boring.
So...the Bengals, huh?
So, this Peyton Manning guy is still decent, eh?
yes, and my fantasy squad's defense is having a tough time slowing him down. he's killing me.
Supposedly the only reason Greg Lewis was in the game was because Harvin had run 7 straight go patterns and was exhausted. That's a nice footnote to a fantastic finish.
And Mark, did you see who caught the game-winning TD for the Bengals? Bug-eyed Caldwell's little bro Andre.
why is rex ryan dressed like kevin james?
Goonies on TBS right now...not gonna lie, love this movie.
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