Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Shudder to Think


One of G:TB’s internet pals made an offhand comment several days ago about the Washington Redskins’ organizational difficulties, referring to the team’s management as the Snyder Administration. At that instant, my blood ran cold, and chills chased down my spine, as 8+ years of ineptitude, suffering, and negligence crystallized in one searingly clear insight: Dan Snyder and George W. Bush are the same guy.

Consider the following:
  • Both Snyder and Bush ascended to their current positions not on merit, but basically because they both had pantsloads of money.
  • Both Snyder and Bush were the beneficiaries of malfeasance during an initial selection process (Milstein is Gore is Finkel is Einhorn).
  • Both Snyder and Bush lost the approval of the masses long ago, yet each clings to their post in almost mocking fashion.
  • Both Snyder and Bush go to enormous lengths to control media access and religiously adhere to message discipline.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have megalomaniacal tendencies.
  • Both Snyder and Bush are embroiled in long, tedious, poorly planned campaigns marked by frequent claims of incremental success followed by even more frequent evidence of decline into chaos. See Redskins, Champions of the Offseason. See also, Redskins 23, Jets 20 followed by Eagles 33, Redskins 25. Finally, see also, Iraq, War in.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have terrible environmental records. Snyder cut down 50,000 square feet of trees on federally protected land, while Bush gave Alaska to oil companies.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have exhibited terrible judgment in initially hiring and then protecting loyalists in the face of overwhelming evidence of their incompetence. See Cerrato, Vinny, and Gonzalez, Alberto, among others. Brownie’s still doing a heckuva job somewhere.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have turned once-proud entities into pale imitations of their former selves - laughingstocks to outsiders and embarrassing affronts to their most ardent supporters.
  • Both Snyder and Bush deeply damaged the legacies of respected leaders (Joe Gibbs, Colin Powell, and George H.W. Bush).
  • Snyder owns Redskins One. Bush thinks he owns Air Force One.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have subordinates with questionable firearms safety habits. Redskins safety Sean Taylor pointed a handgun at a guy he suspected of stealing his ATV, while Vice President Dick Cheney blew some dude’s face off while grouse hunting. (Note: this item only applies if you actually believe that Cheney is Bush’s subordinate.)
  • Both Snyder and Bush have spent profligately on highly questionable programs despite widespread advice to the contrary. See Lloyd, Brandon; Smith, Bruce; Sanders, Deion and Prescription Benefit, Medicaid.
  • Both Snyder and Bush have soaked the little guy while cozying up to the wealthiest among us.
  • Snyder’s father famously bought him an enormous Redskins belt buckle, while Bush wears enormous belt buckles to make people think he’s a cowboy.

Finally, and most depressingly, both Snyder and Bush think they’re right, and we’re stuck with both of them. And I hate 110-yard fields, so Canada’s just not an option. I need a drink.

15 comments:

Greg said...

Actually, Dan Snyder created most of his wealth by founding his own advertising company.

Doesn't mean I like him.

Whitney said...

I think Rob's point in that first bullet is a sadly true statement about both systems in general. To be a candidate for NFL owner or U.S. president these days, it certainly doesn't hurt if you have a ton of virtue, but really the only prerequisite is that you have a ton of money.

Sure would be nice if the method for each could involve significantly more merit-based awards . . . and La-La Land is beautiful this time of year. Wish you were here.

rob said...

merely pointing out the similarities, greggggg, not making a value judgment.

rob said...

well, okay, that might be a lie.

Mark said...

I expected to see Geoff defending Bush in the comments. Not Greg cozying up to Danny. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Geoff said...

unsubscribe

Jerry said...

Drop Bush not bombs!

Greg said...

Bush caused the war on terror!!! (not the terrorists) (who still hate us)

Again, I'm no Snyder fan, but his wealth is of his own creation, not inheritance. Gotta respect him for that. If you're into the whole "money" thing.

rob said...

nobody's saying he didn't earn his money. the point is that he's used it for evil.

Whitney said...

Careful, Greg, the last person to get so moony-eyed over a self-made millionaire was Anna Nicole Smith. Not sure what ever happened to her, what with the dearth of reporting, but I don't think it was good.

Geoff said...

Every time someone defends Daniel Snyder in any way, God kills a puppy.

Whitney said...

Rob, is our plan to have Daniel Snyder buy G:TB and silence our harsh words working? Any calls from on board Redskins One? I'm ready for my lobotomy -- my hairline has even receded beyond the frontal lobe region, conveniently.

rob said...

the pieces are beginning to come together, but freaking greg keeps getting in the way.

Whitney said...

Next up on Gheorghe, Peter Angelos is Pol Pot.

Jerry said...

Some fat Russian billionaire who was trying to buy Arsenal filed lawsuits against blogs that dug up some not so nice information on him. I guess Russia is still more stick than carrot.