Thursday, June 16, 2005

Hey Carl, tell us what you really think...

CHICAGO - (KRT) - The world already knows Carl Everett believes dinosaurs never roamed the planet. After all, there's no mention of them in the Bible.
But the Chicago White Sox's designated hitter unleashes a swarm of new opinions in the July issue of Maxim magazine. The highlights:
Wrigley Field is the worst park in the majors: "They need to implode Wrigley."
Most baseball fans don't know diddly: "Fan is short for fanatic - he's crazy about something he really doesn't know about. And it's proven that 99 percent of baseball fans have no idea what they're watching."
Jose Canseco is a "bitter, ignorant individual."
The congressional hearings examining steroid use were a waste: "We have a war going on_I have family in that war - yet we're talking about steroids. . . . If everybody in the world got on steroids, we'll still lose more kids to a war than we will from steroids."
Everett has had gay teammates, whom he has accepted, but: "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. . . . I don't believe in gay marriages. I don't believe in being gay."


I can always fit Crazy Carl into my day.

9 comments:

Whitney said...

Other than the Wrigley bit, that's the most logical Carl Everett has seemed in years.

T.J. said...

Just don't ask him to watch Jurassic Park with you. And don't ask me to watch Gattaca ever.

Dennis said...

So, wait, this whole dinosaur thing is a travishamockery?? Unbelievable . . .

Dennis said...

And what's wrong with Gattaca?? Uma, Ethan, the future - brilliant!

T.J. said...

Oh Dennis...

Michael Jack said...

Gattaca is just plain awful.

T.J. said...

From IMDB:

"When Gattaca was first released, as part of a marketing campaign there were adverts for people to call up and have their children genetically engineered. Thousands of people called, wanting to have their offspring genetically engineered."

Geoff said...

One post all week? One fucking post?

T.J. said...

You spoke too soon.