Oh, I must give you my e-mail address...

...It's loismustdie, all one word, at yahoo dot com. Happy Fucking Friday kids. What a week, but you don't want to hear me bitch about having to do work for the first time in forever, so let's just get to it...

- That flaming homosexual Tom Cruise is continuing the straight facade by proposing to Joey Potter. Come on Buddy, who are you kidding. I don't think even your most dedicated fans have thought you liked chicks since that ridiculous Mission Impossible cover of Vanity Fair.

- Michael Jackson was not guilty on all 10 counts. Woooooow. That accuser's mom must've been some sort of convincing eh? The highlight of this whole ordeal - Triumph the Insult Comic Dog might've one upped his Star Wars bit. Check this link out - my personal favorite, "On a scale of 1-10, what age is Michael Jackson's boyfriend?" (and yes, this was one of SG's links, but it's not like I haven't taken shit from that site before)

- Speaking of Triumph, I am a HUGE fan of that new Eminem song. I mean, come on, Triumph, Eminem, and Special Ed from Crank Yankers. How do you beat that?

- Phil Jackson is back less than a year later to coach the Lakers. Who cares? I sure as hell don't. And I really don't need to hear Bill Plaschke or J.A. Adande blabber on about it either. Go away assholes.

- Ralph Nader apparently likes to drop the n-word. That seems awfully weird.

- Can I cash in my Pacers jersey for a Lakers one?
Eric Pincus of HoopsWorld.com reports Jonathan Bender is indeed on his way to Los Angeles along with the 17th pick in the draft. In return, the Lakers will send Devean George, Slava Medvedenko and a second-round pick.
By the way, there might not be anything funnier than Stephen A. Smith saying "Slava Medvedenko".

- "That's right! Look at the big brain on Brad!"...RICHMOND, Va. (June 17, 2005) – People with bigger brains are smarter than their smaller-brained counterparts, according to a study conducted by a Virginia Commonwealth University researcher published in the journal “Intelligence.”

- It's good to see Pat O'Brien hasn't lost a step...
Recently rehabbed talking head Pat O'Brien was humiliated when recordings of him talking dirty surfaced on the Internet. But the ordeal hasn't dampened the "Insider" anchor's libido, it seems. At a recent Audemars Piguet party, O'Brien took a fancy to reality TV tartlet Brittny Gastineau, we're told. And when Gastineau left, O'Brien was right behind. "He ran down the street after Brittny to get her phone number," our spy reports. "And he did." Gastineau was most recently linked to Backstreet Boy Nick Carter.