Wednesday, April 01, 2020

The Last Guestie (?)

We have extended our man in the OBX an invitation to join the paid staff here at G:TB (Note: "paid" is just four letters I included in this sentence for formatting purposes. It doesn't actually mean anything.), but he's still trying to figure out how to get his rotary phone to connect to the interwebz. So for the time being, we're manually curating his stories. Not for nothing, yesterday was the first day that Fairbank's boon pal David Teel wrote his first column for the Richmond Times-Dispatch, and he chooses to slum with our band of idiots. We are, truly, not worthy. But we're grateful.

As everyone adjusts to life during a pandemic, I thought I’d share a story about a story and the value of scrambling, desperation and a bit of imagination when things go sideways.

Early in the 2001 college football season, the University of Virginia was scheduled to host Penn State. This was long before the Jerry Sandusky child sexual abuse scandal came to light, which rocked the school and program, and led to the dismissal of legendary coach Joe Paterno.
Heading into the Virginia game, Paterno was one win away from tying Bear Bryant for the career record for wins as a Division I-A (now FBS) head coach. Before the season, the boss assigned me to write a piece about Paterno for that week.

I contacted Penn State officials to try and arrange a few minutes to talk to Paterno and athletic officials, perhaps a player or two. I was told that because they were swamped with media requests, Paterno and others weren’t doing separate interviews. He would be available to local reporters in attendance and only during his 10-minute segment on the Big Ten Conference’s weekly coaches teleconference. I was welcome to listen in and squeeze in a question, if I could.

I told the boss that I had no access to Paterno or others at Penn State. He was only marginally sympathetic and said we still needed a story, since Joe Freakin’ Paterno was coming to Charlottesville. I was stuck and bordering on panic. I knew bits and pieces about him and learned through research that he had donated millions to various academic pursuits – endowments for scholarships and professors’ chairs. He raised millions more for libraries and research, and even had a wing of one of the campus’s main libraries named after him.

Desperate, I started dialing up campus librarians and professors whose departments had benefited
from Paterno’s efforts. I explained who I was and asked if they were willing to discuss Paterno’s impact on campus and on their departments. They were very gracious, though several mentioned that they didn’t get phone calls from sportswriters and deferred to their supervisors or department heads.
One memorable exchange: I reached a department head in his office, introduced myself and said I was working on a piece on Paterno’s impact on campus and academics. He responded with, “Dave Fairbank, one of my favorite sportswriters.” I paused and said, “Excuse me?” He repeated, “You’re one of my favorite sportswriters.” I thanked him and said I didn’t understand. He said that he was a student of early American history, and that he regularly made trips to Williamsburg and southeastern Virginia. He often bought our newspaper when he visited and had been reading me for years. Too weird. Of course, he was helpful.

I got a couple of quotes and some insight from the athletic director and the school president, when I made clear that I was interested in their thoughts about Paterno’s academic impact and not football. Between them, the academic figures I reached, and some Paterno quotes from teleconferences, I cobbled together a passable piece.

Even in his brief appearances on those teleconferences, Paterno was at times introspective, and his classical education peeked through. He was asked about a coveted recruit from Pennsylvania who chose Miami over Penn State. Revealing little detail, Paterno conveyed no disappointment and chalked it up to personal decisions, adding: “There are a lot of Pyrrhic victories in recruiting.” I included that remark in the piece.

(Brief aside: the story ran the Sunday before the game, scheduled for that Thursday – Sept. 13. Terrorists flew airplanes into buildings two days earlier, changing life as we know it. The game was rescheduled and played Dec. 1.)

I guess the message of the story of the story is that sometimes it pays to look in an entirely different direction than your experience and habits would suggest. Sometimes it’s necessary due to circumstances beyond your control. Other times, another perspective can be refreshing and enlightening. Be as nimble as possible.

But just so you know I don’t have all, or even many, answers, I ended the story with this observation: “With Paterno, there have been no Pyrrhic victories. Everyone has benefited.”

That didn’t age well.

77 comments:

TR said...

Clara, you ignorant slut.

Whitney said...

Clara joined the staff before D-Fair?

TR said...

I get a morning news wrap email from Axios. They had a “Pictures of America’s” section featuring the Empire State Building and Roanoke’s own Texas Tavern. It showed police tape on the stools and a couple employees. Big moment for the Tavern!

rootsminer said...

If Texas Tavern took out two of the stools, or put mannequins on them, they could stay at the 10 person limit and operate as normal, with two staff. It's been almost six years since I ate that crap, after a drunken 39th birthday ramble with Whitney. I think I finally learned my lesson.

zman said...

Heresy!

Whitney said...

That was a good night, Rootsy. Bad morning. Good night.

rootsminer said...

A very good night. I recall drunkenly berating Marls on the phone, which I don't think I've done since.

In addition to the copious beer intake, I saw Whit ingest a steak sandwich with an egg on top early in the night, and then a cheesy western nightcap. It's a good thing nobody woke up dead the next morning.

Speaking of birthdays, isn't Zbirthday today?

zman said...

It is.

rootsminer said...

I thought so. Have a happy one, sequestered in zhome with zfam.

Whitney said...

H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y Z M A N

Squeaky said...

Happy B-day, Zman!

T.J. said...

hope ur sporting the zbirthday suit around the house to celebrate

Dave said...

happy birthday zman!

jam yourself.

busy day today. contractor opened up our kitchen ceiling: minimal water damage from upstairs bathroom

then tree guys showed up. insane what these guys do. i told me kids: this is why you're going to college.

they both said: that looks like fun.

Marls said...

Happy Z-Day Z-Man.

“i told me kids: this is why you're going to college.”

Did Dave become Darby O’Gill while in quarantine?

TR said...

I would pay to watch tree guys take down a big tree. They did a major trim to our yard a few years ago. Some Latino guys swooped through tree tops with a rope while a chainsaw dangled from a belt. Equal parts mesmerizing and terrifying.

Dave said...

yup-- that's what we are watching. latino guys in the high canopy, attached to branches by straps, swinging chainsaws. dropping logs into our yard-- fucking logs. and we did pay to watch them. 1200 bucks.

zman said...

TR said "major trim."

Thanks for the well-wishes. We had a ginormous tree taken down last year, the guy behind me kept asking me to take it down because he was worried it would fall on his house and he didn't like it when I explained this is why he has homeowner's insurance. Ultimately we split the cost. The tree was yooodge. The last chunk was the bottom 6 feet of the trunk and it weighed 6000 pounds. Very dense oak. Watching the tree guy dangle and swing around with a chain saw was nerve-wracking. My neighbor hired the guy and was pissed when I asked him to request their insurance certificate. "You're worried the tree will fall on your house in a hurricane, what if this clown drops it on your house while chopping it down? Use your brain." This is why I have no friends in town.

rootsminer said...

Just hang in there Z. Soon you'll be the irascible old coot that people wish they'd listened to sooner.

Shlara said...

Happy Birthday Zman

rob said...

stacy’s mom is pouring some out for fountains of wayne co-founder adam schlesinger.

Whitney said...

Let’s flash back

https://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2018/03/whitneys-6-pack-fountains-of-wayne.html

Whitney said...

And what exactly is the technical barrier to Lord F-bank becoming part of our masthead?

rob said...

he’s claiming technological ignorance. i’ve assigned the doofus overlord the task of educating him on the mysterious ways of the blogger interface.

Whitney said...

That’s the right man for this job

Mark said...

People are worried about Hurricanes taking down trees in New Jersey? Takes all kinds, I guess.

Speaking of Doofus Overlords, Ron finally shit down Florida today. Seems quite a bit late to me. Not sure my wife and oldest child have quite figured out what’s coming their way.

Danimal said...

Z dawg - happy birthday! I wanted to reference the "major trim" comment but not surprisingly you beat me to it.

on about hour 13 in my home office, also known as the screened in porch. productivity way up. so is cigar smoking and booze consuming. anyone else wonder if putin planted this virus to see the rest of the world crumble? that's what i'd do if i were him. pretty savvy. i read today russia has about 6 cases. exaggerating but you get it. i know we can rely on the fact that they are reporting the facts cuz russia.

cut my beard off, kept the stache. creepiest look owned by yours.

Danimal said...

desantis is a turd. a local here in pvb - never met or saw him but used to see his wife all the time. no doubt he has aspirations to live on PA Ave...he's a Trump munchkin and fairly certain he provides handjobs to the boss.

T.J. said...

I’ll get our main FairbankOBX set up tomorrow. Your Doofus Overlord has been way too busy with work during quarantine time. Two more months minimum of this is fucking rough, not gonna lie.

Mark said...

I’ve watched a good chunk of Game 5 & 7 of the 2016 NBA Finals tonight. Sweet Christ, Kyrie Irving was absolutely electric offensively. Don’t think a small guard ( or any guard) has ever put a three game stretch together with as much on the line that compares to what Kyrie did.

TR said...

My classic sports watching has been more low-brow. Boys and I watched Wrestlemania 30, Wrestlemania 32 and the latest Royal Rumble. I like the new sexy lady wrestlers. We’ve come a long way since The Fabulous Moolah.

We finished the US version of The Office. We started the original British version, but shut it down after two episodes. The second episode had more jizzing jokes than I wanted my 10 y/o to hear.

zman said...

What's the O/U on the acceptable number of jizzing jokes your 10 year old can hear?

Danimal said...

That's a shame - the original Office is brilliant, as they say. If you haven't seen Extras, give that a look too. I might watch that again come to think of it.

TR said...

It’s great, but far dirtier than we remembered. We watched w/ subtitles on b/c the accents are so tricky, but that backfired. My boys now know exactly how to spell “jizzing.”

We pivoted to Parks and Rec. They need some Ron Swanson in their lives.

TR said...

When is Zman’s post on His great-uncle Viktor Orban coming out?

Dave said...

letterkenny is so dirty my wife had to leave the room. it's just for me and the boys.

just ran a 7:27 mile, without pushing too hard. 30 seconds faster than my baseline last September. I'm getting fatter from all the beer and snacks, but in better shape from all the running.it's bizarre.

TR said...

We should time ourselves in speed events, just to laugh at ourselves. Nothing too quick like a 100 m dash, but maybe 400/800/1600 meters.

I relived my brief high school lax training days yesterday. I made a homemade forearm strengthening device. I used ~10 lbs of de-icing salt in its plastic carton. I tied rope around the handle and tied it to a broomstick. So I got that going for me. I looked for weight benches on-line, but they're too expensive. Gonna keep it simple for now.

Danimal said...

Rocky IV was on the other day. Jogging through deep snow, carrying large pieces of timber on your shoulders, or pushing around a horse plough can get you the results you seek.

Danimal said...

There is a private club lap pool nearby that recently opened. Reservations only must be made days in advance. No lane sharing, and only 4 at a time. Have been able to take advantage to a small extent...hard to get a lane. Ran 6 yesterday a.m...casual bike ride later today.
On the flip side of coin I am already planning on replicating the close to pergect rye old fashioned(s) I drummed up last night.

Danimal said...

Or perfect

Dave said...

i should have told the tree guys to leave the giant pieces of timber. that would have been two weeks of workouts.

rootsminer said...

Last night, after my wife and I polished off some leftover pickles from Saturday's take out dinner, I found myself with a little bit of brine that I didn't want to go to waste. I put it in a glass with some gin and soda and it was pretty goddamn delicious.

I'm impressed that you can get get big wood chopped down and hauled away for 1200 bucks in Jersey.

rob said...

i'm more than a little frustrated that i can't yet take advantage of this golden opportunity to improve my fitness. disc issue is getting better, but slowly, and i'm probably two-three weeks away from being able to run or even do bodyweight exercise.

zman said...

It's cooler to be out of shape. Look at me!

Or if you'd rather look at something else, check out this video of my mayor excoriating everyone to take this social distancing shit seriously and stop engaging in group day drinking in the middle of the street. Unlike most people in town he's an intellectual so it's wonky as hell. The PPT slides get real around 9:20. Then the math gets scary.

zman said...

https://vimeo.com/403294885

Danimal said...

Yesterday "major trim". Today "big wood"!

The pickle brine with gin n soda....wow. Color me intrigued. How much brine we talkin about here? A few splashes? An oz or 2?

rootsminer said...

It was probably an ounce or two of brine, with a peppercorn and garlic sliver or two still left in there. I used some Scottish gin that I didn't really favor with my usual cocktail, but worked quite well here. Keep in mind this was some high end brine, which had once had all kinds of goodies in it: carrots, mushrooms, beets, onions etc. If you try it with some Klausen juice your mileage may vary.

And it's well documented, particularly related to music, that my tastes don't always align with most folks?

rootsminer said...

?Not sure why I ended that with a question mark, especially since it's so well documented.

zman said...

I only drink the finest brines.

rob said...

i just remembered that i've got a batch of jalepeno moonshine chilling in my fridge. that'll be fun to play with.

rob said...

question for tr. trump's alleged coordination with saudi arabia and russia to limit crude production: ham-handed buffoonery, or ham-handed buffoonery that's a good idea nonetheless?

rob said...

who's got content for tomorrow? hmm? hmm? hmm?

Dave said...

zman could post that mayoral video. it's incredibly boring and nerdy. i doubt day drinkers could make it through . . .

TR said...

The attempt to coordinate is not ham-handed buffoonery. It's a necessary step as the US has become the world's biggest oil producer. The buffoonery is/was the administration's inability to get Saudis to continue adhering to a production quota. Backing them after they murdered Khashoggi in '18 should've gotten Trump more goodwill. Forgetting the virus, Texas is about to go into a massive recession from this event alone. Same for many other states. So the politicians and CEOs are demanding action from Trump.

Saudis/Russia shanked us out of nowhere a month ago as the virus started escalating. They stated they were going to increase production as demand started cratering. They sensed vulnerability b/c equity prices were out of favor with the US becoming more environmentally aware. Ten years ago, global oil consumption was 90 mmb/d, and the US produced 5 mmmb/d. Recently, US produced 12 mmb/d when global consumption was 100 mmb/d. We have butted into the US oil scene in a big way.

The first of many US shale producer bankruptcies occurred yesterday. Many more will follow b/c the business doesn't work with crude under $50 and these companies have no asset sale or capital raising levers to pull in this environment. Activity (in terms of # of rigs running) has plummeted across the US. Layoffs are pervasive across Colorado, Alaska, California, Wyoming, North Dakota, Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia. Halliburton, one of the biggest companies that provides services to the shale producers, announced a furlough of 3,500 employees.

The US oil patch is in shambles. There will be a couple dozen more bankruptcies. Having the US agree to a coordinated production level with OPEC/Russia would be unprecedented, but it would support prices.

TR said...

So yeah, I'm ready for a drink.

Marls said...

Klausen juice Is a fantastic euphemism that tR can use to avoid his phrasing issues with UK version of the office.

zman said...

I have content, I just have to contentify it.

rootsminer said...

Thanks for the upbeat industry briefing TR. Have you thought of writing a book? My internet friend clara says it can be taxing yet very fulfilling.

zman said...

Cloth masks? I’m investing in a bandana company.

zman said...

DC peeps, this is a bargain right now:

https://bringatrailer.com/listing/1985-bmw-m635csi-25/

Whitney said...

Ween says: Of tentacles expanding in my mind, I'm fine, accepting only fresh brine

Whitney said...

And it’s Claussen

Whitney said...

And nobody mentioned picklebacks?

zman said...

Jimmy Claussen?

Danimal said...

Flipping channels to get away from the news cycle and I see Billy Bush is back on EXTRA (EXTRA!)...Good for him!

rob said...

my wife decided that we are going to start having cocktail hour. which, excellent. manhattans at 5:30 is a nice thing. as is 8:30 bedtime.

Mark said...

Everyday I say I wont have happy hour drinks. And then happy hour arrives.

Mark said...

Possibly the best CFB I ever had the pleasure to watch being replayed tonight. USC-Texas. If I remember correctly, ‘‘twas a fun night in the comments of Jerry’s Wheelhouse.

Mark said...

As for picklebacks, Whit. I enjoy them and have decided to bring them back for weekend afternoon shots out by the pool. Not gonna go crazy but I might as well have an extra drink or two if I’m not going anywhere for the foreseeable future.

Related: We’ve told the HS Senior she can have the occasional Claw or glass of wine while we’re all locked down. She’s be doing it anyway this time of her senior year and we figure it eases the isolation pain (she’s extremely social) she’s going to experience.

rob said...

we’re allowing our kids a claw or two with us, as well. for many of the same reasons.

Dave said...

hello gheorghies!

zoom pub night is fun -- up to a point. then it gets old.

when are the youngsters going to get sick of putting their lives on hold for us old folks and rebel?

Mark said...

Not sure I’ve ever missed as much on an NFL or NBA prospect as much as Reggie Bush. Swore he’d be transcendent.

On the other hand, I was out on Matt Leinart.

Mark said...

USC was up 12 with 6:42 to go. Forgot about that. Never felt over in my recollection.

TR said...

I DVR’d the USC-Texas game. Kids will watch it tmrw. All the stars would probably be out of the league by now if they weren’t busts like Vince and Leinart. I loved loved loved watching that game. At the time, I was living on my own in Union Square. That was back when I had choices.

My favorite memory of that night is the legendary Keith Jackson flubbing an intro promo for a show. I remember him stumbling over a new show starring “John Stah-mos” and realizing it was time for him to call it a day.

Keith Jackson was the soundtrack to my Saturday afternoons as a kid. He’s in my top 5 if I had to rank my favorite all-time broadcasters.

Mark said...

I’d forgotten Keith Jackson did that game. Verne Lundqist did more games I care about because, SEC, but Jackson was the sound track to me falling in love w/ CFB whilst watching with my Dad. He was the greatest. The voice, the pace. Added a lot to that game.

Whitney said...

Keith Jackson is definitely in my Top 5. Vin Scully makes the squad for me as well.

Mark said...

I didn’t have a lot of Vin Scully in my life. My baseball announcers were Harry Caray because WGN was everywhere and on during the day in the summers and Jack Buck because of the Cardinals. Skip Caray’s monotone sounds we’re highly involved as well (and oddly fit the vibe of the pathetic Fulton County Stadium/Bob Horner-Dale Murphy Braves of the time because TNT was the cable station of the south- their two main properties were the Braves and NWA (Ric Flair era). I watched a fuck ton of baseball as a kid.

Mark said...

Corona Chronicles: We’re largely cooking at home. I assume most of us are. Getting takeout once or twice a week to support the locals. Got some takeout tonight from a local raw bar, Bunkys. Teej and Marls know the place. Had a great meal. Wings, oysters, potato skins and peel and eat shrimp. Both kids (8 & 18) are teasing each other and having fun. Out of nowhere the eldest takes it to 11 and frogs the 8 year old at full force. Tears ensue due to physical and emotional pain.

I’m a stern Dad but not a yeller. Tonight was an exception. I ripped the 18 year old. All is well now but that whole thing pretty much ended the family portion of the night. Why are teenagers such dicks?