Monday, December 17, 2018

Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day Six

On the sixth day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Six Cylinders for Shlara
Five Givings of Thanks
Four Badass Women
Three(+) Decades of Love’s Labor
Two Things You’re Needing
And a Fat Guy in a Sweet T


It's What Car Should a Gheorghie Drive, Shlara/Gheorghemas edition! Normally I keep my selections relatively attainable but it's Gheorghemas (so let's splurge!) and it's Shlara (who is unattainable!).

I have only met Shlara once. As a result I know that she really exists (as opposed to being some other Gheorghie’s alter ego). Shlara is petite and Italian. You cannot help but notice Shlara when she’s in the room (at least that was the case the only time I met her—she was was the only woman at Gheorghefest). She’s fun and spunky, she likes to dance, and she loves the Steelers. She's smart and accomplished but she's also down to earth--she has her own non-profit for Pete's sake.

Shlara should drive a 1968 Fiat Dino 206 Spider in yellow with a black top and interior. This video explains it all.



It's small and Italian and athletic and those are Steeler colors! It literally had the heart of a Ferrari but it doesn't have the associated snootiness--it's a Fiat, a car of the people. Based on her musings in this space, I know that she likes athletes, especially dreamy foreign ones, and I'm sure they would like "a gigolo's car" like this, one "designed for young good looking Italian stallions to blast around and pick up chicks and have a good time." Seriously, tell me this guy isn't a gigolo.


Much like the Dino, it has been said that Shlara has no bad angles. Much like Shlara, I have seen this car exactly once (at the Dairy Queen in Emerson in the mid-80's). The Dino is cool and unique and so low-maintenance that you can drive it while wearing a wet swimsuit. That's what Shlara should drive.


14 comments:

rootsminer said...

Sweet ride, and Shlara's non profit looks amazing!

I guess everyone here is still worn out from reading about Whitney's weekend.

rob said...

the traditional 6th day of gheorghemas silent treatment was working really well, too, until rootsy fucked it up

TR said...

I am still shell-shocked after seeing a pic of Artie Lange’s Face today. Awful and tragically sad. Fouled up my whole day.

Shlara said...

OMG Z--I LOVE IT

It's been a day...and I'm just seeing this now
and its exactly what I needed.

And now I need to buy this car.
Do you think I can get a deal that includes Adam Scott?

Unknown said...

I've made a full recovery and I am back to my Gheorghey ways.

Congrats on your sportscar, Shlara. I'm still cruising around in my '69 Impala.

TR said...

Pour some out for Laverne.

Marls said...

Somewhere Carmine Ragusa weeps

Mark said...

My wife showed me the pictures of Artie Lange’s nose on Saturday. That is hard to unsee.

rootsminer said...

OK. I'll put Artie Lange's nose on the list of things to avoid, though I must admit my curiosity is piqued. Can anyone offer further description to dissuade me further from looking for it?

rob said...

it's a good sight more bulbous and misshapen than a nose really ought to be. but it's not so gross as to warrant not seeing it. go crazy.

TR said...

Not sure if you saw the most recent pic, Rob. This is some depressing shit:

https://www.nj.com/entertainment/2018/12/artie-lange-avoids-jail-but-tests-positive-for-cocaine-at-nj-court-appearance-its-in-my-system.html

Mr KQ said...

Breakfast in America still brings it.

Mark said...

The man no longer appears to have a septum. It’s pretty fucking bad, imo. I cannot even fathom how much cocaine it takes to do that.

Whitney said...

Nice, Mr KQ