Sunday, December 23, 2018

Twelve Days of Gheorghemas: Day 9

On the ninth day of Gheorghemas, Big Gheorghe gave to me:

Nine (ten, actually) Gheorghemas albums
Eight Bud Lites with Andy
Seven Book Categories for Reading
Six Cylinders for Shlara
Five Givings of Thanks
Four Badass Women
Three(+) Decades of Love’s Labor
Two Things You’re Needing
And a Fat Guy in a Sweet T


Last year I turned to the G:TB community for help assembling a playlist of subversive Christmas music for a Christmas party I didn't want to host. I got some good feedback here and elsewhere and assembled a pile of songs that made people smile. A few even said "Nice job with the music!" although the bar is really low for this neighborhood tradition (no one else plays music).

For the ninth day of Gheorghemas I will reveal ten albums that you can use to create awesome holiday playlists. They are all remarkably Gheorghe--even the safe choices are fun. If you have these ten albums you don't need anything else to host a sonically impressive soiree. If you do things correctly, you can turn any old holiday party into a Gheorghemas party.

1. "A Christmas Gift for you From Phil Spector"

Like it or not, most people want to hear music they recognize when they're at a party. You have to accommodate this reality if you want to keep the fun flowing. As a result, this album is the backbone of your Gheorghemas mix. Everyone recognizes at least half the songs on the album and a few are indispensable classics. And simply put, this thing bangs. This version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" inspired Springsteen's. This version of "Frosty the Snowman" appeared in Goodfellas, as did "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)."

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Sleigh Ride" by the Ronettes (ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ding-dong-ding indeed)



2. "Christmas Cookin'" by Jimmy Smith

This album is ten classic Christmas songs filtered through Jimmy Smith's Hammond B-3 organ. The cover features Smith dressed as Santa giving out gifts from behind the wheel of a red Alfa Romeo Duetto so you know it's good. This album bops hard except when it swings. Everyone will recognize every song on the album but it will take them a second or two to do so, but when they do they'll smile and go "Huh, that's cool!"

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" (Smith turns a staid Christmas standard into a Gheorghemas jam--shit gets real around 0:37--if you don't enjoy this then you probably don't enjoy G:TB)



3. "Elvis' Christmas Album" by Elvis Presley

I can't believe we don't already have an Elvis label. Much like Christ he's the king and no Christmas mix is complete without one or two of his songs. If you didn't speak English you would think "Santa Claus is Back in Town" is a song for getting it on (it isn't, at least I don't think it is) and "Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane)" is quintessential Elvis. I guarantee at least one attendee will appreciate these inclusions.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Santa Bring My Baby Back (To Me)" (A rockabilly torch song, sung by Elvis, asking Santa Claus for help to procure a woman? Yes please.)



4. It's A Holiday Soul Party" by Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings

SJDK always brought it and this album is no exception. It's a mix of funkified classics and soulful originals. "Just Another Christmas Song" is smooth, "Ain't No Chimneys in the Projects" is gritty, "Funky Little Drummer Boy" is infectiously groovy, and "Big Bulbs" is playfully naughty.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "8 Days of Hannukah" (Those horns though! Neal Sugarman is a pimp. Name another Hanukkah song with more soul.)



5. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio

I can envision TR's frown as he reads this but his disdain is misplaced. This album serves as glue to hold things together. Sometimes you need to cool your Gheorghemas mix off a notch. Seriously, that's one of the rules:



Every track on this album is an identifiable classic and Don Draper would love the nostalgia. "Skating" and "Linus and Lucy" are Christmas.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Christmas is Coming" (if you don't like this song then your ears don't work right)



6. "Socks" by JD McPherson

This album was the motivation for this post. You should be listening to JD McPherson as a general matter. I told you about him previously. His first album, "Signs and Signifiers," sounds like something you found in your parents' attic, it's vintage 1950's style rock-n-roll with a southern/rockabilly edge. McPherson's voice is remarkable. It's simultaneously raspy and syrupy smooth; elastic and rigid; wild and meticulous; bulging and refined; distorted and clear like a bell. The best comp I can come up with is the sound from Lee Morgan's horn, if that means anything to anyone other than rootsy. Only the title track isn't vintage, and it sounds like what Dan Auerbach is trying to do in his solo work only more authentic. I think Auerbach feels the same way because he collaborated on McPherson's next two albums and they are fantastic. Perhaps the highest praise I can give to McPherson is that he's one of a handful of artists zson demands as soon as we get in the car. Go check him out.

McPherson dropped "Socks" in November and I've been listening to it ever since. There are no covers, just original songs with vintage flair and they rock. Add this to your rotation even if you aren't hosting a Gheorghemas jam. Standouts include "Holly, Carl, Candy & Joy," "Santa's Got A Mean Machine," and "What's That Sound?"

zson's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Bad Kid" (further proof that zson is TR's illegitimate lovechild, he loves this garage surf ditty about a natural-born bad kid with a permanent spot on Santa's naughty list)



zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Hey Skinny Santa!" (just tons of swinging fun; I heard it in Barnes & Noble yesterday and at first I felt betrayed but upon reflection it verifies the pick--it's an instant classic)



7. Rockabilly Christmas

I'm sort of cheating with these next four albums because they're compilations. They're really good though--this is where things start getting particularly subversive. I found them whilst searching for individual songs you recommended or ones I found in Rex Doane's fantastic playlist archive of Fool's Paradise episodes.

"Rockabilly Christmas" is available through iTunes and Amazon. Highlights include "Rock N Rudolph" by The Uniques, "Sleigh Bell Rock" by Chuck Blevins (and another version by Three Aces and a Joker), "Rock 'n Roll" Santa by Little Joey Farr, and a fantastic surf version of "Jingle Bells" by Vel Mares.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Rock Around the Christmas Tree" by Big Bud (Santa frolics with the whole family, kisses a man, grabs his mom, then takes off in a Cadillac.)



8. Blues, Blues Christmas Vol. 3

Also available through iTunes and Amazon. It's 40 raucous songs recorded between 1927 and 1962, a not insignificant number of which are at least slightly mischievous. More than a few of the old-timey songs will scratch rootsy's itch--Lightnin' Hopkins makes an appearance (but T. Bone Walker does not). Highlights include "Christmas in Jail" by The Youngsters, "Rock and Roll Christmas" by Cordell Jackson, "The Christmas Boogie" by the Davies Sisters, "Baby It's Colds Outside" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, and "Far Away Christmas Blues" by Little Ester.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Jingle Jangle" by The Penguins (Is it doo-wop? Bebop? Calypso? I can't say for sure but I know it's good.)



9. Underground Christmas A-Go-Go

Also available through iTunes and Amazon. This is a mix of 20 mostly punk rock songs. It gives you "Merry Christmas (I Don't Want to Fight Tonight)" by the Ramones, "Father Christmas" by The Kings, "Run Rudolph Run" by Keith Richards, "Santa's Coming Home" by The Cocktail Slippers, and "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" by Roy Wood's Wizzard. There's plenty more here to pick from.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Back Door Santa" by Clarence Carter (play it back-to-back with "Christmas in Hollis" to educate your friends)



10. Domo Loves Christmas

Also available through iTunes and Amazon. I have no clue who Domo is but his compilation gets you "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses, "The Christmas Song" by The Raveonettes, Iggy Pop covering "White Christmas," and "Party For Santa Claus" by Lord Nelson.

zman's pick if you have to choose just one song: "Santa's Got a Bag of Soul" by The Poets of Rhythm (they got your head noddin' cause your neck knows it's phat)



SPECIAL BONUS TRACKS: also consider "Christmas was Better in the 80s" by The Futureheads, "Gee Whiz It's Christmas" by Carla Thomas, "A Five Pound Box of Money" by Pearl Bailey, "Santa Came Home Drunk" by Clyde Lasley, "Christmas at the Zoo" by The Flaming Lips, "Soulful Christmas" and "Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto" by James Brown, "Every Day Is Christmas (When I'm Lovin' You)" by Charles Bradley, "Wake Up Christmas Morning" by The Mighty Spoiler, and "It's Christmas Time" by Little John (not that one).

There you go. Christmas music doesn't have to stink. Merry Gheorghemas!

28 comments:

Dave said...

i thought this post was going to be stupid and make me angry-- i can't stand xmas music-- but the jimmy smith and vince guaraldi won me over . . .

i haven't listened yet but my friend stacey swears by "christmas trap music." i'm not sure what that means but she swears by it.

Whitney said...

Cruising up the eastern shore. Just passed a sign for Kendall’s Kountry Kitchen. Surely you jest.

zman said...

So subtle.

TR said...

Sounds like Stacey is a trap queen.

Dave said...

i believe the 34th amendment to the constitution states that congress cannot abridge the right to spell any word any damn well one pleases.

Shlara said...

It's not Xmas music, but I've been listening to Amy Winehouse's Back to Black a lot this holiday season. Forgot I had it until the Sonos arrived. This album is still excellent.

For me, the sounds of Christmas will always be the "Merry Christmas" album by Johnny Mathis

Heard Bryan Adams "Christmas Time" in a store yesterday and smiled--that's a classic, as is his "Reggae Christmas" I think one of these songs was on a Gheorghemas list at some point.

Vince Guaraldi is amazing--no one should hate on that one.

I'm also partial to the 1979 John Denver & The Muppets Christmas album. We still play the old album on a new turntable.

Last suggestion: A Very She & Him Christmas, especially for the Gheorghies who have an affinity for Zoey Deschanel. Includes the controversial "Baby It's Cold Outside" KQ & I met her a few years ago after a She & Him concert @ Wolf Trap. She's so tiny she could fit in MY pocket.

Also, do we need an Interlude post to discuss "Baby It's Cold Outside"? Or is that a third rail here?

Shlara said...

Also--this may need to be the subject of a new post.

Dick Van Dyke is 93
His current wife is 47

zman said...

You can discuss "Baby It's Cold Outside" and DVD's marital situation all you want Shlara, I'll observe.

Whitney said...

I recently was seeing a girl who had been 13 years old when the first Gheorghe: The Blog entry was posted. I obviously can’t say shit about Dick.

rob said...

played this compilation for the fam on our drive into the city today. much enjoyment was had. kids particularly enjoyed the sjdk hannukah joint.

and pour some out for audrey geisel, widow of theodore geisel and protector of his legacy.

Mark said...

This would be such a relaxing Sunday if fantasy football didn’t exist.

zman said...

You know the full story with Audrey Geisel, right?

rob said...

was she a nazi? i hate nazis.

Whitney said...

I hate Illinois Nazis

zman said...

Seuss has an affair with Audrey which caused his wife to commit suicide. Months later he married Audrey.

rob said...

well that adds a whole new level of nuance to random idiots' hit song, 'dr suess'.

rob said...

or 'dr seuss'

Mark said...

I’m so lost on this comment thread.

Patrick Mahomes is terrifying to root against.

Mark said...

I’m also using this post to build my Xmas morning playlist when we host my family on Xmas morning. Nice work, per usual, from Z.

Mark said...

Mother. Fucker.

TR said...

Rookie move be not replenishing the scotch inventory y/day. I ended up pouring what we had - Goslibg’s dark rum with Zevia sugar-free ginger cola. Turns out that’s a delicious drink. Deceivingly delicious. I overserved myself and am paying the price as I prep for a half day of work. I’m off to a strong start - I’m locked out of my company’s local branch office while emitting rum scents from all pores and trying to ignore the fact that I have to cook for 12 tonight.

TR said...

Still locked out. And that gawdawful Duncan sheik song from the 90’s is stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, Dunkin’ Donuts.

T.J. said...

TR, I tweeted this two days ago:

Anyone check on Duncan Shiek in the past 20 years? Curious as to whether his respiratory issues ever got better

TR said...

Hahaha. Whatever the issues are, they seemed to be worth the price worth the price the price that he must have paid...

T.J. said...

Wikipedia tells me that "Barely Breathing" remained on the Billboard Hot 100 for a record-setting 55 consecutive weeks.

And, amazingly, that song garnered a Grammy Award nomination for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Danimal said...

had a ronnie zacapa swim morning, followed by pancakes at the Y! not a better way to start xmas eve folks if i'm being honest.
though it goes downhill for a bit from here including a conference call at 10am. seriously? seriously.
will be on the lookout for the tr rec'd ginger cola?

TR said...

Zevia is a Stevia-based soda brand. Diet soda w/o all the toxic crap they put in normal diet soda. Their cola (blue can) is good, as is the ginger (green can).

zman said...

I remember when TR celebrated toxic crap.