Thursday, November 17, 2016

I Laughed (Because I Was Confused)

Forgive me for dredging up something already mentioned in a previous Comments thread, but a day later, I remain completely confused. Here's the scene:

I'm waiting in line to board my plane from Minneapolis home to Dulles, and I hear a garrulous voice from behind me chatting up another line-dweller. The voice, a young man's, has a distinctly New England accent. And because it was loud, I knew that the voice belonged to a fellow who was heading to Rhode Island and claimed to have had five beers in the hour before boarding.

None of this is particularly remarkable. Obnoxious, maybe, but we've all heard that guy in airports before.

As we board the plane, Drunky O'Sullivan's voice stays behind me, and stays loud. At this point, I haven't looked back to catch a visual, because the last thing I want to do is catch his attention and get sucked into his conversational vortex. I find my seat, turn to place my carry-on under my seat, and finally get a view of our guy.

He's exactly what I thought he was. Twenty-something white kid, dark hair just below his collar and underneath a Boston Bruins cap. Zip-up hoodie over a flannel shirt. Fashionable jeans.

And shoes that looked an awful lot like these:


Slightly lower heel, maybe, and thicker straps, but definitely open-toed to show off the dazzling red paint job on his carefully pedicured toes.

I took a picture, because even I didn't believe it. The picture is terrible (my knee looks pretty nice), but it's here anyway. Zoom in:


I'm as baffled right now as I was when I noticed this. And to his credit, my loud, drunk friend never batted an eye, called attention to his feet, or acted like anything was out of the ordinary.

If this is what Trump's America has in store for us, prepare to spend the next four years questioning everything.

81 comments:

zman said...

Those look like casual brogue oxfords to me.

zman said...

So the hosts on Westworld are more than just hosts for guests, right? You can transfer your consciousness from your body into a host and thereby live forever, right? So Hannibal Lecter's character transferred his consciousness into a host that looks like him and that won't age anymore, right? That's how he can look the same in all the storylines, right? Right?

Squeaky said...

Thanks, Z, for the spoiler. Crossing Westworld off the list of future binge watching TV shows.

zman said...

It's just a theory. I don't think it's a spoiler that the show is about a theme park containing robots who look like humans, like Blade Runner crossed with Jurassic Park.

T.J. said...

Or
like the movie Westworld

Dave said...

this story is too weird and stupid to be made-up, so i don't doubt your veracity, but that photo contains no evidence of the shoe you purport the beer drinker to be wearing.

rob said...

zoom in, man. zoom in.

Clarence said...

Rob, are you wearing jeans and wingtips?

zman said...

They're brogues Clarence, brogues.

Shlara said...

Dude, this makes me sad:
http://wavy.com/2016/11/16/william-mary-students-find-graffiti-with-swastika-and-go-trump/

Danimal said...

We are "The Profit" watchers on CNBC. Shlara, the current and I believe the next couple of episodes are shot in Cuba. Great insight into the world of "entrepreneurship" in a communist state.

Danimal said...

Mark with a retreat from LeBetard....nice work.

Danimal said...

Retweet

rob said...

no retweet, no surrender

zman said...

Pete and Retweet are sitting on a fence ...

Shlara said...

Thanks Danimal--I'll check that out.
And Rob, are you sure the dude on the plane wasn't wearing Birkenstocks?

TR said...

I am at a bar at the Phoenix airport. It's even more sad than you would think. The entire bar is looking at Nicole Kidman's augmented face on The Tonight Show with a combination of sadness and horror. Me too. I loved her in Dead Calm.

Danimal said...

Well we missed each other at phx, by about 20 hours. 'twas there for an early morning departure yesterday, early enough that that one of the flight attendants decided it'd be neat to sleep in a little bit (about 30 minutes in fact), requiring dozens to be rebooked on different flights. Her reception was let's say, cool at best. The dreaded redeye - that is sad, unless you're at home in bed with no work requirement today. Then you're a winner.

rob said...

shlara, they were strappy wedges with a heel. and the toenails were definitely beautifully manicured and painted.

Danimal said...

Rob with the casual formal look - jeans & wingtips. I see you.

rob said...

brogues, man. listen to the zman.

jeff sessions for attorney general. racist wet dream. yay, amerikkka.

mr kq said...

Nice that you got an exit row, makes all the difference.

rob said...

only way to fly, my man.

Clarence said...

http://perfectgentlemansa.blogspot.com/2010/10/brogues-vs-wingtips.html

"A brogue is any shoe that has perforations on it. These perforations are holes punched into the leather for decorative purposes."

"A wingtip is any shoe that has a W shape design on the toe cap. Any shoe."

Wingtips with perforations are also brogues.

So... in review:

- Danimal and I were right. Rob photographed himself wearing wingtips and jeans.
- Zman and Rob were wrong in correcting our terminology.
- This entire line of discussion makes us a bunch of effete nancy-boys who should jam their heads in toilets while punching themselves in the face. I blame Zman. And to a tinier degree, Rob.
- Speaking of which, little people who snag the exit row while the larger among the species are forced to sardine ourselves into what feels like kindergarten desk chairs really chap my backside. You're really gonna be able to help me off the plane? I hope there is a water landing just to see that moment.

So... wingtips and jeans, eh?

rob said...

the day i listen to you about fashion is the day i dunk over you.

Danimal said...

For only the 2nd time, I am currently wearing my new Cole Haan Zero Grand black suede wingtips...At $270 retail, they were only a consideration. I had doubts about them. Last week they were 40% off, so I got a pair. I would not hesitate in running a 10k or more with these things. Unreal. And today I see they are still on sale - 30% though.

Clarence said...

LSU giving 14 to the Gators? Seems like a lot of points.

Danimal said...

It's at LSU and UF.....is bad. But I have the same "lot of points" comment on the OSU at Mich St...getting 21.5. Sure, Michigan State also experiencing a down year, but...

mr kq said...

Joke gone bad thought you were in regular row #shortlegs

mr kq said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Clarence said...

Two little legs, two little comments

Clarence said...

And I learned through a link on the Sentence of the Day that Napoleon was actually 5'6", taller than most Frenchmen of his time.

Danimal said...

Joke gone bad makes me think of girls gone wild. That's not still at thing is it? Upon review, it is not.

Mark said...

Danimal is right. Florida is...not good. They're also missing 6-7 starters for the game which includes they're two OLineman and their three leading tacklers. That might be an issue against LSU and their two future NFL tailbacks.

rob said...

i say, i say, it's impossible to say 'jefferson beauregard sessions' without using the foghorn leghorn accent, isn't it?

Danimal said...

I just did it. Keep trying.

I feel like Rob is wearing a hipster hat with that outfit. Maybe a vest too.

rob said...

just saw the video of luke kuechly from last night. that one's gonna sting the nfl for a while.

rob said...

i don't believe you, danimal

TR said...

But what were the tears for? Realization that he's now taken one too many bumps?

It's almost like he made a promise to somebody that he would hang it up if he took one more hit. I guess that's what happened?

Too lazy to have somebody at ESPN yell the answer at me...

Mark said...

Apparently there is a condition called PBA that often results in uncontrollable crying or laughing after trauma to parts of the brain, including brain stem. If you look where Thomas Davis made contact with Kuechly that seems like a plausible explanation.

Tough to imagine that Kuechly immediately burst into tears based on his previous conversations/promises about his concussions.

Mark said...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pseudobulbar_affect

Look at the section under "Causes".

mr kq said...

Today's haul: Fleetwood Mac- Rumors, Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense, and Miles Davis -Kind of Blue. Knocked off 3 of the best sounding and/or produced records of all time according to the interwebs. Any guesses which hip hop LP's made the list? Or other records?

rob said...

kurtis blow, 'the breaks'

zman said...

Pet Sounds always makes those lists. I'll guess Paul's Boutique and 3 Feet High and Rising.

And those are brogues dammit! There's nothing effete about understanding shoe taxonomy.

TR said...

Good news for you Starwood points folks - I finally merged my Starwood and Marriott programs. You can transfer points b/w the two programs. And if you have status in one program, you get it in the other.

Mark said...

Local pub has Stone lucky bastard on tap today. Also brought back Highland Cold Mountain, Dogfish 90 minute, Bells Xmas ale, and a few others. Oh, and bone marrow is on special. Just going to give them my wallet.

Dave said...

radiohead's ok computer, dark side of the moon, flaming lips soft bulletin and speakerboxx.

paul's boutique goes without saying, of course.

zman said...

Yeezus?

Whitney said...

Sgt Pepper's, Thriller, some Steely Dan, Liveskull's Positraction album

zman said...

Loveless? Revolver?

T.J. said...

The Chronic?

T.J. said...

Gators might pull this off. Impressive drive right now as clock winds

Whitney said...

Clarence was right

Danimal said...

You love Clarence don't ya?

Mark said...

WOOOOOO!!!!

Mark said...

I'm as happy about that Florida win as I've been in a long time. A lot of reasons behind that feeling. It feels fucking good though.

rob said...

suck it, spidey

Mark said...

At a backyard house party with a ton of booze and beer, a really talented one man band and oysters being grilled. My Saturday is going pretty well.

Whitney said...

You don't see too many one-man bands these days. Sounds cool.

Mark said...

His buddy has joined in but he's really good too. I don't go to many house parties in my old age but this is a good one.

Danimal said...

Hoping this Wvu OU game delivers....not looking that way thus far. Should mention that one of my good buddies (whit...he was on the ill-fated Chicago trip about 20 yrs ago..the one Flynny may have hurt somebody) is a neighbor and has become late night partying pals with Holgy and Def Coord Gibson. At first it was a courtship, but now it's a regular thing, mostly after wins and as of late it has migrated to my buddy's house. I don't see it happening this eve.

Danimal said...

Of course I took WVU.

Danimal said...

Drinking a Rumchada and Fireball on ice. It's pretty good. 2 parts fireball 1 part Chada

Danimal said...

Apologies....RumChaTa

Danimal said...

Holgy really needs to cut the hair off. It is time.

Mark said...

Holgorsen has always had a bit of a Big Ern McCracken feel. Speaking follicle, of course.

I'm insanely jealous that Dan's friend parties with him. I think I speak for all of us.

TR said...

WVU DC Tony Gibson signed a 3-yr deal at $700K/yr a year ago. I have to think $700K/yr goes pretty far in Morgantown.

TR said...

I'll admit it - Prodigy came on the Lithium channel today when I was driving w/ my kid. I got him to listen to it and he dug it. I did too. I'm still wondering when electronica will become a big thing.

Squeaky said...

Just now getting the news on Sharon Jones. RIP. F-U cancer.

rob said...

i emceed a charity gala this evening, then overserved myself after my duties were done. my mic sounds nice, check one.

Marls said...

So the Butcher of Bakersfield incident was in 2017. Apparently the Trump police state does not take long to establish.

zman said...

That's a shame about Sharon Jones.

TR said...

Abdullah the Butcher > The Butcher of Bakersfield

Mark said...

I've been home for a while but when I was at that house party there was a night rocket launch from the cape. The whole party stopped to watch. Even though most of us have seen many dozens of launches. Night launches are something special.

I'm drunk.

rob said...

drunk or not, that's really cool

mayhugh said...

I'm drunk too. Bartender is serving shooters and won't tell me what's in them. That's weird, right?

If I were betting on the boxing match I'd take Ward in 10 folkowed by Ward by decision. Good defense trumps power.

Mark said...

I'll take Kovalev.
It's s bet Mayhugh.

mayhugh said...

You're on. Not watching but it could very easily go the other way. Kovalev will take the first third Of the fight to figure out Ward, I think. After that he either sells out for the knockout or he's the Pacquio to Wards Floyd.

zman said...

The xx are so awkward that they could be an SNL sketch.

Marls said...

Abdullah the butcher was fantastic.

rob said...

comfortable win for the wrens over presbyterian yesterday. you scoff, but it's really damn hard to beat an entire religion. our game against buddhist is gonna be a bitch. so is wednesday's matchup with duke.