Monday, March 21, 2016

The Perks of Being an Astronaut

Venturing into space has been a fertile theme for many musicians. You've got lots of Pink Floyd on this subject, most notably Dark Side of the Moon. Elton John did Rocket Man. And, of course, David Bowie recorded the best one: Space Oddity.

Until now.

Greasetruck proudly presents the greatest song ever recorded about space travel. This was inspired by the death of David Bowie and the last twenty minutes of Interstellar.

Spoiler: I only watched the the last twenty minutes of Interstellar, so I have no idea what the movie is about.

The Perks of Being an Astronaut

Let me see you with your red dress on, 
the one you wore when we were young and dumb.
Because you know I'm going away, 
when I get back it won't be the same.
They're pointing me at the stars,
six months I'll walk on Mars.

When I get home you know . . . you know how it goes . . .
The women, they will worship me, fall into my gravity.

So let's be real, I think you understand the deal:
when I touch down that rig, you won't be in my league.
But let's not think on that, just try to relax . . .

And let me see you with your red dress on, 
no worries  for what's to come.
And you can tell all the world,
you're such a lucky girl.
You got to crash with me, explore my galaxy
before my shit blows up, then there won't be enough
of me to go around, so last chance,
I'm still on the ground.

So come on baby, you got one last chance here, when I get home they're gonna throw me a parade and I'll be on TV and the papers are gonna want to know what kind of shirts I wear, and the women will be all over me and you saw Interstellar . . . you're gonna be all old and I'll still be young and hot like Matthew McConaughey, but if I get you pregnant tonight, then I can check out your daughter-- maybe hit that and it will be like old times . . . and you can put this in your memoir, you know.


mayhugh said...

So, this weekend there was a fight in a New Jersey mall between at least one patron and... the mall Easter bunny? Wasn't that a Kevin Smith movie?

Danimal said...

a neighbor of ours is a fedex pilot. weird gig - show up for your assignment and meet 2 other random people that you've never met who you will spend the next 5 days with flying around the world with in close quarters and no one else on the plane but millions or tens of millions worth of merchandise, sometimes animals, vehicles, cash, jewels, whatever...and then rinse wash & repeat. (I think this job is worthy of a movie fwiw) one of these fedex pilots shows up on the plane, heads to the bathroom after take off, and comes back out wearing a bunny suit. he allegedly does this with every origination to "break the ice" with his co-pilots.

Clarence said...

It's not a true Greasetruck song if it doesn't have a monologue. Love it, Dave.

zman said...

Danimal, I think that's the premise of Castaway, minus the bunny suit and camaraderie.

This morning, while the Raisin Bran and coffee were doing their thing, guy in the stall next to me wipes (cursorily), flushes, and walks out of the bathroom. HE DID NOT WASH HIS HANDS. Clearly he does not watch Daniel Tiger. I will shake hands with no one here forever.

TR said...

I was at a work conference a few years ago. A keynote speaker was a guy named David Blitzer. He works (worked?) at Standard & Poors, chairing the committee that decides what companies go into the S&P 500, which is a big deal to companies and investors. It moves stocks a few percentage points when they go in/out.

Mr. Blitzer is recognizable b/c he rocks a "beard but no mustache" look. At said conference, he peed and then left a crowded bathroom without washing his hands. I couldn't believe it. Here is a picture of Mr. Pee Pee Hands himself:

mr kq said...

The Frank the Tank vid is awesome.

Mark said...

I assume Mr. KQ is talking about the Frank Kaminsky celebration video. It is awesome. He's a skilled slider.

Dave said...

poppy is a little sloppy . . .

eddie van halen has his solos and i have my monologues

Danimal said...

I'd like for Dan Lebetard and his guys to do a "David Blitzer looks like...." fill in the blank bit. If they did, I think it would be something like this:
David Blitzer looks like a guy posing for a picture using his camera's self-timer, all awhile wearing nothing below the waistline while holding his manhood and thinking... "Ha ha, people looking at this photo will think it just a normal, regular photo but no, no it is not. Little do they know I have little David in my hands, mocking them while they admire my beard and bow tie. Suckers....ha ha haa ha ha ha ha. HA HA HA HAAA HAA HAA!"

Squeaky said...

I'll take a couple of hits/drags/pills/drinks the Danimal is taking. Been one of those weeks and it's Monday.

zman said...

RIP Rob Ford.