Wednesday, December 24, 2014

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Death to "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"

Mark needs to recover from his SARS/Ebola mix, meaning Day 9 of Gheorghemas ain't coming anytime soon. And Marls got that god awful Christmas Eve in Washington tune stuck back in my head again, so today's post will be the lamest of the lame - a rerun. Enjoy my whining from 8 years ago below, and join us in the comments with your vote for worst Christmas (or holiday) song.

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**FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE**
The ball is rolling...hat tip to Dan at DC Sports Bog for spreading the word, and now you can continue this jolly jihad by visiting the online petition. Sign early, sign often.
**FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE**
I know, you've heard the ranting before, but it's reached Gladwell's tipping point now. Those of you not in the DC Metro area have no idea the musical nightmare you are missing. "It's Christmas Eve in Washington" by Maura Sullivan is absolutely, positively the worst holiday tune of all time (amazingly, in this day of the interweb, I had a very tough time finding the artist to "credit" this song too...perhaps she wants to curl up and die every time she hears it, like me?). There can be no argument.

The insanity has to stop. You know what the #1 search is right now for GTB? Some combination of "christmas eve in washington song" and either "sucks" or "worst song ever". I need all the haters out there to band together and fight this monstrosity. I have already begged Dan at DC Sports Bog to get the word out about this plague, and I have emailed Program Director Bill Hess at 97.1 WASH FM numerous times begging him to put this tune to sleep (and put the listening public out of its misery). You should do the same (WASH FM of course is the soft rock station that begins playing Christmas songs in July).


I know you think I'm nuts, or simply an old curmudgeon, but I'll let the song speak for itself (speak = vomit syrupy sweet nothingness). If anyone can find an MP3 of this, please send it along. For now, try not to slit your wrists as you enjoy "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"...

It's snowing tonight in the Blue Ridge
There's a hush on the Chesapeake Bay
The chimneys are smoking in Georgetown,
And tomorrow is Christmas Day.

The Tidal Basin lies quiet
The tourists have found their way home
Mr. Jefferson's standing the mid-watch
And there's a star on the Capitol Dome.


It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
It's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground,


It's Christmas Eve in Washington
Our joyous wish to you
Is for peace, love & laughter,
To last the whole year through.


Snowmen peeking through the windows
It's warm with love inside
'Round the tree the children gather
Awaiting Santa's midnight ride.

Mom and Dad are counting their blessings,
Reflecting on all they've done
So thankful for another 

Christmas Eve in Washington.

It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
For it's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground.

31 comments:

Marls said...

I think Lee Greenwood needs to cover this tune.

Danimal said...

I'm thinking Dave Grohl.

Seriously - Ron Zacapa and Krispy Kreme crullers are meant for each other. Give it a try.

T.J. said...

A Tiny Tim cover could be nice.

- I am not Bender from Futarama

Marls said...

I might go on a bender in the near future.

T.J. said...

You can borrow my Jonathan Bender jersey.

zman said...

Bender, I hardly know 'er.

Danimal said...

"Shut up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie." Bender. John. Quoting his dad, Mr. Bender.

Danimal said...

"That's what I thought you gutless turd."
Richard Vernon to John Bender

Danimal said...

That's the last time, Bender. That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of those kids, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and you've forgotten all about this place and they've forgotten all about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.
Vernon - to Bender.

Danimal said...

Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born to be fat, and there's fat people that were once thin but became fat... so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh...
John Bender

Danimal said...

Claire, you wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts? It's pretty tasty.
Also, John Bender

T.J. said...

danimal is on a roll...

zman said...

Jonathan Bentham?

TR said...

My cousin Kendall from Indiana. He got high once and started eating weird food...

(to John Bender)

TR said...

The OJ and vodka in my fridge/freezer are calling to me. Not sure I can make it to noon w/o a drink...

Mark said...

Update: I feel better than average today. If I could shake this sore throat-ear combo when I swallow I'd upgrade myself to just below swell. Hopefully that clears up soon. I have lobster, eggplant and pork belly to eat (among other things tomorrow.

Update #2: you have to present your ID for scanning when buying cold medicine if you're under 40 in Florida. Apparently those over 40 don't make meth. Who knew?

Marls said...

Fucking old people special interest. AARP will guarantee meth in every pot.

Danimal said...

Tr, it's ok. Do it.
Mark is again the winner in the "What I am going to eat" category.

Dave said...

have the hip-hop guys (mark and zman) heard "run the jewels 2"?

my kids are over a friend's house, so i am giving it a listen and i really like it, but it's very very profane.

Danimal said...

81 degrees here

Danimal said...

77 rather

TR said...

Dave - if you want to see/hear something truly inappropriate, find the video for CoCo by OT Genasis. Video does not hide much. It's on YouTube.

Mark said...

Run the Jewels and RTJ2 are two of my top 10 hip hip albums from the past 3 years. And they're both free!

zman said...

Is it weird to leave chips and guacamole and half a fifth of Woodford Reserve for Santa? How about if I include carrots for the reindeer?

Shlara said...

TJ, you have my vote
Zman, I remember Santa appreciating a glass of scotch for sure

And, is anyone else excited for 10 hours of NBA hoops tomorrow?? Starting with our favorite Bullets. I decided not to spend $200/tix for the upper deck of the Garden to be at the game...hope I don't regret that decision.

Happy Gheorghe-mas, boys.

Dave said...

it's good to get mark's endorsement for the hippity-hop. also glad it's free- i was streaming it but i need it on my ipod for working out and snowboarding, there's nothing like loads of bass and profanity for sporting inspiration.

Mark said...

Get the first Run the Jewlels too, Dave. Both are free on the RTJ internets website.

Shlara- I am excited about all the NBA tomorrow. I'd be more excited if Silver & Co weren't giving us games that featured the Knicks, Lakers & Heat.

TR said...

I am getting excited in all the wrong ways after learning of the existence of Julia Guenthal:

http://ticklepress.com/2013/09/meet-julia-guenthal-the-worlds-blond-and-bendy-woman/

SFW

zman said...

The world needs more Russian contortionists with a fondness for latex and acid washed denim.

rob said...

just got home from the early evening xmas eve service. my oldest daughter, who's both a ham and a pretty good singer, sang each hymn at a high volume and finished with jazz hands. it's no wonder we don't go there very often any more.

TR said...

New filler up. Moose outside should've told you.