Friday, May 02, 2014

Nerd Prom Preview

Those of you outside the incestuous orbit of our nation's political-entertainment-industrial complex may be forgiven for not knowing that the 2014 White House Correspondents Dinner takes place tomorrow at the Washington Hilton. Once a relatively obscure industry event, the WHCD has blossomed over the past decade into a supernova of starfuckery and circlejerking, as the journalists who cover Washington mingle with the people on their beat and a coterie of celebrities from various fields.

Far be it from me to belabor the discomforting question of the impartiality of journalists who make it a public priority to get overserved and take selfies with their ostensible subjects on an annual basis. I'll leave that criticism to Tom Brokaw. Nope, I'm just here for the jokes.

Comedian and actor Joel McHale takes his turn as the host of the event, before handing off to POTUS himself, who generally kills at these dinners. Of course, the librul media's in the tank for him anyway - they start laughing before his punchlines most of the time.

In preparation for the event, which will be televised by CNN (assuming the network's managed to locate the equipment necessary to remove its head from its ass in time), a pair of the more noteworthy performances in recent memory (check out the Bin Laden joke in Seth Meyers' bit - it happened on the very same night that U.S. forces carried out the raid that killed the 9/11 architect):



59 comments:

Geoff said...

2012, Jimmy Kimmel had the best WHCD material, in my opinion.

zman, is this your high school?
http://www.kansascity.com/2014/05/01/4994962/high-school-senior-class-prank.html

zman said...

That's my high school! At least the cops didn't shoot anyone. Here's a story with a video.

http://newjersey.news12.com/news/62-teaneck-high-school-students-face-criminal-charges-after-senior-prank-1.7882749\\

Shlara said...

Rob--glad your munchkin is OK.

If I can stay awake, I'm going to the Funny or Die WHCD pre-party tonight. It starts at 11pm, which means the cool people won't show up until 1am....so I prob won't meet anyone cool

Clarence said...

Rocked it out with SeƱor KQ last night. Very enjoyable. Dude can drink.

Mark said...

I assume you'll take an early evening nap, Shlara, no? That's my late night prep move.

Danimal said...

If you haven't seen Blackfish but would like to, and plan to take your kids to Seaworld at some point, go to Seaworld first.

zman said...

Sea world disappointed me. To many rides and not enough fish.

Mark said...

I stopped going to Sea World when they stopped giving out free beer. It so hot there too.I just want to jump in the water. But I can't.

Skip Sea World and go to Aquatica. More fun for everyone.

TR said...

The Zach Randolph suspension is horseshit.

rob said...

#freezbo

Mark said...

He hit Steven Adams with a closed fist. This comes nowhere close to the Stoudemire/Diaw suspensions of 2007.

Was it a really a punch? Maybe. Easily within the letter of the law (which the NBA has been notoriously black and white on)? No doubt. It sucks but I have a hard time ginning up outrage about it.

Shlara said...

The enter cast of Veep & Scandal are here. And Patrick Stewart. Quoin & Huck were standing next to me two mins ago!

Shlara said...

And Tony Romo just walked in

Mark said...

Shlara right now
www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2JfY-nVaqg

Shlara said...

I just spent 15 mins talking to Tony Romo's wife

Shlara said...

She was lovely. Candice, Tony. & Eric. stonestreet from modern family came to our corner to escape the crowd

Successful night at the nerd prom pre party

TR said...

The 6 y/o gt sick last night at 11:30 PM, leaning off the top of his bunk bed to vomit. He managed to land it directly on top of a large, hardcover book. The combination of the velocity of the vomit stream and the firmness of the book cover created a staggeringly large vomit radius. The room my boys share now reeks of barf. Good times.

rob said...

stonestreet is a big sports fan - did you chat him up about the wiz?

T.J. said...

9:18am. Two comments made at the same time. Could not be more different.

rob said...

just saw the lillard game-winner. that kid is a stone cold killer.

Mark said...

He is. The defensive strategy by the Houston coaching staff was shameful. How are you not switching everything with that much time left? If you leave somebody open it ends up being the guy on the far side of the court who's (a) not the first option and (b) is catching the ball with his momentum taking him away from the basket. Awful.

rob said...

this headline:

Public Health Officials Link Tough Mudder Races to Getting Explosive Diarrhea

zman said...

Everyone I know who did a tough muddle, spartan etc. got some horrible illness. Skin infections, eye infections, shits, you name it. We aren't supposed to wallow in filth and sweat for hours at a time.

Shlara said...

Don't ever do a mudder--it's bad for your health.

Lillard is A-MA-ZING. The NBA playoffs have been must-see TV, and I hope it continues in round 2.

I didn't bring my reading glasses to Funny or Die last night, so I couldn't see what I was typing. It was a really good ratio of DC people (Hill types & lobbyists) to celebs. I was there for work-ish purposes, so didn't get geeky with photos. But I DID insist that we stand in a strategic location to see who arrived, while we networked.

The VEEP cast seemed genuinely excited to be here for nerd prom. They mingled with the common folk and were a huge hit. Jonah, Dan, Mike, Gary/Buster Bluth, Kent & Ben. The Scandal cast also seemed excited to be in town for the weekend--Fitz, Mellie, Quinn & Huck (were whispering next to me for a few mins), Abby, Cyrus, James. And my favorite person from House of Cards: COS Doug. (RIP).

A lot of the TV celeb media types there too.

And the DC people were either geeked to see their TV counterparts or claimed "I never watch TV, I don't know who they are." yeah, right.

Jeff Goldblum, looking very Goldblum-y. Patrick Stewart. Eric Stonestreet and Tony Romo are apparently BFFs from attending so many of these types of events, and because football. Candice Romo is just lovely--and we decided we could like him, if he didn't play for the Cowboys.

rob said...

silver lining to my kid's medical issues: because she's missing the state gymnastics meet, i get to stay home and attend by neighbors' kentucky derby party. they're a gay couple with louisville roots and a strong appreciation for bourbon. there's a rumor that pappy might make an appearance.

Mark said...

Whaaaaa? I'm on my way, Rob.

Mark said...

11 years ago today I participated in my final event as a student at the University of Florida. I wore headphones the entire time and was terribly hungover. It doesn't feel like its been over a decade though I'm sure a walk around the UF campus would hammer that reality home.

Mark said...

Great pic of Lillard celebrating with his Mom in the immediate aftermath of his game winner. http://instagram.com/p/niop9tu8-H/

Danimal said...

Watching derby coverage. Am solo w 2 of the 3 for the wkd beginning yesterday. It has rained almost all day. I just poured a maker's with a splash of ginguh. The two are watching Frozen for the 43rd or 44th time in as many days. I just bet on the tenth race. More updates to come.

Danimal said...

Bode Miller's wife is hot as balls. He is wearing a white suit. No judgment here. The tie knot, well, that's another story.
Bode's wife just started talking. Not quite as hot anymore.

Danimal said...

Johnny Weir's hat.

Mark said...

Johnny Weir the GAWD.

Danimal said...

Bob Costas loves interviewing jockeys.

Danimal said...

We are rooting for Candy Boy.

Clarence said...

Derby entry General A Rod just got booed.

Mark said...

Was debating on whether to pour a bourbon for the derby. Then my kid launched into an epic meltdown (still going on btw). No debate on that bourbon now.

Clarence said...

I'm going to go with Intense Holiday. Wife went with Danza.

Danimal said...

All of us losers. Still.

Mark said...

I'm thoroughly annoyed Clippers-Warriors Game 7 doesn't start until 10. This is going to require more energy and drinking patience than I usually possess.

T.J. said...

Actually, 10:30. Even worse.

Squeaky said...

Made a trip to the bowels of hell today aka my dads house. As some of you know my brother and his family live with him. And my sister in-law is a hoarder. I haven't been his house for 4 years. Needless to say, anyone have connections at the show Hoarders? They need an intervention. I'd post photos but it's dinner time. Maybe a sobering post in the next couple of days.

Danimal said...

This is interesting. So your dad is "ok" with it?

Mark said...

Hoarders legit creeps me out. I can watch Intervention all day and barely bat an eye. Five minutes of Hoarders and I need a shower.

T.J. said...

We've assembled our smoker. Tomorrow we make our first attempt. 6.9 pound pork butt.

Mark said...

I'm interested to see how this goes. I put mine together two weeks ago. Next weekend will be the first attempt.

Mark said...

I usually find watching perimeter players far more interesting and entertaining to watch than big guys. Marc Gasol is the exception. He is so skilled and effective. Im love him.

Donna said...

Son picked Calif Chrome....winner! To bad we had no money to bet. Wore derby hatoo...required when you reside in KY!

Rob, glad daughter is okay!

NBA never been my thing, but this year....wow!

Donna said...

Hat. Hat!! (As opposed to hatoo)

rob said...

pro: many mint juleps. con: no pappy, and a 5:30 am wakeup call.

was rooting for cali chrome because of the backstory. great trip by espinoza. note: i have no idea whether it was a good trip or not, but that seems like good racing vernacular. also, it seemed like a good trip.

and i confess to rooting against the pacers.

rob said...

pour some out for fulham's 13-year run in the premiership

TR said...

Hoarders has been a guilty pleasure. What's amazing about the show is how many times the people can't pull it together, even after the helpers come and they know they are at risk of having their house condemned or their kids taken away.

Sorry to hear your issue, Squeaks. My wife and I sometimes wonder if we're lucky or unlucky to have small families.

TR said...

Does Mayhugh know he's past deadline on his boxing preview?

TR said...

No way the Warriors win with that suit/tie Mark Jackson is wearing. He can wear it next year when he's announcing for ABC next year.

Mark said...

I'm on the edge a a sweet three team parlay win (Pacers -8, Thunder -9.5 and Warriors +8) so I'm hoping that Jackson's tie isn't too much of a hindrance.

Mark said...

A friend of mine has a mom who's a borderline hoarder. That is some uncomfortable, crazy shit. And I still own a picture of 14 year old me and Dean Smith.

Shlara said...

Seth Curry, wow

zman said...

My stepmother is a mild hoarder, mostly of magazines that she hasn't read but wants to. She has stuff going back to the 70s. Including a torn out article about the chipmunk sleep cycle. Not written by rob.

zman said...

United Club at Newark airport is unflinchingly bad. Tepid coffee. Off-brand stale donut holes. Broken toaster. Bagels that would be deemed subpar even in the south. United employees blocking access to all of this.

TR said...

Zman has some serious white man problems. And I guess he's not appreciative of free wifi. And free yogurt-covered raisins!