Wednesday, May 14, 2014

If You Want Something Done Right (or at all), You'll Need to Do It Yourself

Queens-based rapper Action Bronson has been featured in this space before, lauded for his Gheorgheness. His new online food show on Vice only serves to reinforce our impression.

Entitled Fuck, That's Delicious, Bronson's show is part profane Anthony Bourdain travelogue, part tour diary, and part love letter to his favorite foods. In the first episode, posted below, he riffs on everything from his swan diving technique, to the perfect malted milkshake, to lamentations on getting old (as evidenced by his increasingly wrinkled testicles), to South African grilled meats. All with a twinkle in his eye, and the same generosity of spirit we've seen here before.

Check out Episode One, and keep the volume down if you're in the office.

34 comments:

rootsminer said...

Mornin' Gheorghies. Oof. I guess today is coffee day. Alcohol pulled me through last night, but my drunk bike home wasn't until about 30 minutes ago. Good times.

rob said...

ride of shame!

rootsminer said...

Indeed! Plus I got a really nice look from my wife when I got home from my night out at 7:10.

zman said...

Nice post rob!

rob said...

i have no idea whether the pacers are going to collapse and lose to the wizards, or make the nba finals. either is possible at this point.

Mark said...

Good job, Rob. I knew you could do it. You mentioned the twinkle in Action's eye. That twinkle probably had something to do with all the wax he was smoking out his Action Bronson gpen during the segment.

Mark said...

I love Marcin Gortat. I've been a fan since he broke in to the NBA with Orlando and was bummed when he was traded to Phoenix as he'd have been nice to have on the roster after Dwight's inevitable departure. That said, I never ever thought he'd get 31 & 16 in a crucial playoff game.

And shame on Shaq & Chuck for not knowing what a pierogie is.

TR said...

31 points is impressive. 31 points on 15 shots is special.

Clarence said...

Big night of birthday eating and drinking. Kicked off with a ribeye, jalapeƱo cheese and fried egg sandwich. Ended with multiple Cheesy Westerns at the Texas Tavern. And playing electric guitar in Rootsy's recording studio. Thanks to Lumpy for joining post-Willie.

Shlara said...

About Gortat...apparently this re-tweet happened earler in the season and Wzzntzz brings it back often--I just saw it last night, and its pretty good. Teej tells me its a legit RT. And I told Teej that I'm sure Gortat was well-serviced after last night's game.

https://twitter.com/wzzntzz/status/466380425624313857?refsrc=email

TR said...

Shlara really is in the know on the behind the scenes (and under the trousers) details.

Mark said...

My wife's cat sucks. It would never do this. http://jalopnik.com/cat-rescues-child-from-dog-attack-in-driveway-makes-be-1576282099

rootsminer said...

You had multiple cheesy westerns? You are a beast! And you may have high cholesterol.

Unfortunately those jams we were playing last night are lost. That may be just as well. And Dave doesn't have to know that you were playing Random Idiots songs without him. Lumpy has some decent tambourine chops.

mayhugh said...

Mark - your wife's cat is also your cat. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But I was also mystified by Shaq's "Barbecue Perogie Sandwich" yells. How do you not know what a perogie is? It's one of the most delicious things in the world, depending what you stuff it with.

rob said...

i had a cat in high school that did the exact same thing in defense of our other cat, its little buddy. went flying into a screen door, knocked it off track, and ran out onto our deck to chase an intruder cat away.

rob said...

so, i guess, not the same exact thing. similarly heroic, though.

Mark said...

No, Mayhugh. The cat is not mine. The dogs are mine. The cat belongs to my wife and children.

We can agree that pierogies are delicious though. One of my best friends and college roommates' mother makes homemade pierogies. I drunkenly consumed many of those during my years in Gainesville.

zman said...

zcat beat up the neighbor's yellow lab because it walked into our house (with its owner). I told the owner that if my 9 pound cat beats up her 75 pound dog, that's on her and the dog. The cat was just defending the homestead.

zcat also kicked my ass recently: I barked my toe on the bedpost and collapsed in a screaming pile of tears and snot onto zbed, on which zcat was sleeping. zcat awoke and had no idea who I was or what was going on so I gave her a pass for pouncing on my head and latching all four sets of claws into my scalp. I too was scared and confused by all this so I tore zcat off of my head and flung her across the bed. She landed and came back at me, latching all four sets of claws again on my head. It was a bad interaction. I refused to let her sleep in zbedroom that night.

rob said...

awl. had to sit down after reading that, z.

rob said...

and what the fuck is up with ted leonsis and his gratuitous shot at bloggers. fuck that balloon-headed bag of wrinkled fatguy flesh. i'm never buying another ticket to one of his teams' games again.

oh, right.

rob said...

pour out some waffle cone batter for albert doumar.

Clarence said...

Abe Doumar is well known for the original waffle cone and starting Doumars, but son Albert ran the place since World War II. The place never changes, neither did he. A Norfolk classic.

Clarence said...

And Rootsy, I think I had 2 cheesy westerns but it might have been a dream. A glorious dream. Things got fuzzy.

Clarence said...

Also, I am definitely going to buy an electric guitar. My kids broke my acoustic, and I didn't even kill them, so I am in the market for a used guitar if anyone is selling.

rootsminer said...

I was pretty with it until the Texas Tavern, but have little recall after. I think somebody may have roofied our meat.

zman said...

Cheesy Westerns are the shit.

rootsminer said...

Yeah. Except for the roofie-meat they're pretty good. It was either that or Clarence imploring us to drink as much Get Bent IPA as we could before the bar stopped serving.

Dave said...

clarence goes electric! dylan must be shitting his pants. get a distortion pedal and a loop pedal too and you'll be ready to make some serious noise.

and don't be playing any unlicensed versions of random idiots songs or you owe me a nickel.

rob said...

sounds like clarence, rootsy, and lumpy should start their own 'fuck, that's delicious' spinoff

TR said...

At Nick and Sam's in Dallas. Romo is holding court two tables away with Whitten, Zach Martin (I think), a couple other meatheads, and an armada of female talent, none of which are Mrs. Romo.

Lumpy said...

My initial thought is the get bent ipa was the cause of fuzziness. However I've woken up many a morning on my couch with a couple empty cheesy wrappers by my side. So rootsy may be on to something?

Greg said...

Good.....good....

rootsminer said...

I haven't eaten from Texas Tavern in over a decade. Didn't intend to last night, but I was overtaken by the urge to order 'one with'. And there were roofies in that goddamned meat.

Lumpy said...

It's been years since I've eaten there as well. But I used to be a "regular". Standing order for about 2:30a on a Saturday. Double meat cheesy, 2 hots all the way, and a bowl with- walkin

Good thing y'all stayed off the chili. Would've made for a real unpleasant morning for the people seated near Clarence at the conference. And an uncomfortable car trip back to Norfolk