Wednesday, April 30, 2014

See You In The Second Round, Bitches**

Bro hugs
The Washington Wizards, yes, the Washington Wizards, vanquished the higher-seeded Chicago Bulls last night in their first round playoff match-up. The Wiz last won a playoff series in 2005, coincidentally also on Chicago's home floor (we were at Champps post-softball when Gil hit the game winner), and prior to that I think the last playoff series win was in the early 80's (this is why we need a research intern). For some reason (the history of the franchise), not many folks gave Washington a chance in this series. I wasn't one of those people:



So, adios Chicago, adios Carlos Booze and his Wooly Willy beard, adios Kirk Hinrich and his Rec Specs, adios Mark's boy Joakim Noah. Only two first round playoff series have concluded so far, and amazingly one of them includes the victorious Wizards. Washington now awaits the winner of the upstart #8 seed Hawks vs. the vomiting-all-over-themselves #1 seed Pacers (seriously, I CANNOT wait until we find out what actually happened amongst the personalities in that locker room). Here's hoping that series goes a full seven games so Nene can rest his Elijah Price-esque body a few extra games.

Hey Kirk, check out this loin bump
No Washington pro hoops post would be complete without this video:




Other bits I want to include in here before I begin beating them into the virtual ground via hashtag overload:

#Phase3LaronProfit



#TheCerealKillers (for those unfamiliar with this team, they have a rather unhealthy and insatiable love of (kid's) breakfast cereal
**Cannot take credit for this headline. That is Shlara's doing. Now let's hope this team can make it to the Eastern Conference Finals.

48 comments:

  1. I'M SO EXCITED!
    I LOVE THIS TEAM!

    And, I agree Teej--the backstory in Indy is going to be interesting, when it comes out.

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  2. Evan Turner and/or Lance Stephenson will be prominently involved.

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  3. Didn't they get into a fistfight in the locker room? My money's on Lance in that one.

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  4. sure...but there HAS to be more than that. locker room fistfights? pshawww. I am thinking we've got some "Delonte West/LeBron's mom" shenanigoats going on as well

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  5. there's def a woman behind the drama in Indy

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  6. I hope it's Tony Toni Tone.

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  7. maybe it will be Andrew Toney

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  8. Elaine's "Tony" played by Dan Cortese...Toe-nee! >lifts collar

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  9. Maybe Lance stole one of Evan's twinks.

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  10. who's the quimby in the Evan/Lance/Roy triumvirate?

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  11. doesn't work mathematically. who would you like me to tag in for?

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  12. Step off, Dan's doin' the hump.

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  13. Tho not intentional, enjoying my "Carlos Booze" typo.

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  14. just swapped humorous anecdotes with his excellency ebrahim rasool, the south african ambassador to the u.s. he didn't seem as amused by my lethal weapon homage as was i.

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  15. Is it bad that my sump pump is running almost nonstop?

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  16. Take a cold shower and think about baseball.

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  17. Also, use WebMD. You creep us out using us for that weird shit.

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  18. Stop talking about the Wizards! It's making me sick.

    Maybe we could talk about poop again.

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  19. so, we've reached the point in the Rob Ford scandal where sadly the next big news story on him is going to be his death, right? I can't even laugh at the guy any more, because I'm pretty sure that's where we are at.

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  20. Failed to mention this yesterday but it should be noted Bradley Beal is also my boy.

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  21. fox's golf guys, beginning in '15, will be joe buck & greg norman. I like the pick of Buck, and I'd venture to guess many will disagree. Norman, a dick with the personality of, well, a dick.

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  22. While discussing Phil Simms this morning, Boomer Esiason said "Oh he's got tons of money. He's got more money than Charles Barkley!" That's funny because:

    http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2014/03/ms-green-goes-to-washington_27.html

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  23. With this Cliven Bundy incident of last week, that pretty much is the third strike on Bundy as a legitimate surname, right? Ted, Al, and now this. Gotta go the way of Hitler and Manson. And Lappenbusch.

    I am sitting next to a gentleman in this class whose last name is Bundy. I don't have the guys to break it to him.

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  24. how dare you bunch Al in with those other Bundys. the man scored four god damn touchdowns in one game, and is a legend at Polk High. he is a hero, not a monster.

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  25. I am so over the NFL draft...and it doesn't even start until next week

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  26. Not me. I'm over the analysis of the draft but I'm all in for the actual draft and all the absurdity that comes with it.

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  27. The draft is a great exercise in self-delusion (for me, at least) where I try to convince myself of all the "upside potential" of the Bucs draft picks. Ultimately, this is a cruel joke I play on myself as the Bucs have been historically terrible at drafting and the game of football overall.....

    ....but with this new coach, FA signings and the right draft picks, they could make a deep run in the playoffs....

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  28. I like the NFL draft because it yields gems from Teedge (Teedgems?) like this:

    hahahahahaha did Buffalo really just take E.J. Manuel???? hahahahahahaha

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  29. that makes me as much of a draft expert as 95% of the interwebz. so i'll take it

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  30. Sadly, I've never looked into purchasing ncaa bball tix prior to today. If I told you that tix start at $290/per for first and second rounds (technically, 2nd & 3rd rounds counting the "first 4")
    here in Jax, would you be surprised or not at all? I am sad and disappointed. Time to lobby for a company purchase.

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  31. Get fired up for March Madness, Danimal. It's that time of year!

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  32. The Browns signed Bills castoff QBs Vince Young and Tyler Thigpen. Tonight Cleveland weeps.

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  33. I think Cleveland weeps most nights.

    Buffalo doesn't exactly yelp in glee.

    Washington takes a forget-me-now and just smiles blankly into the middle distance.

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  34. Who is zee dickhead now?

    #lethalweapon #melmullet

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  35. spent the day navigating the hospital system with my youngest, who just came out of surgery for an emergency appendectomy. that's a helpless feeling, for sure. she's a trooper - came through with flying colors. me, I'm gonna need a couple of drinks.

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  36. Having done many ER trips w/ my little one, I share your stress. Too bad you can't leave the hospital to meet w/ a bunch of wasted Lammies to take the edge off, like I could a few Saturdays back.

    That first drink on your couch will be enjoyable.

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  37. And to be clear, I don't think you're a dickhead. I was just quoting a movie.

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  38. might have to add emma stone to the list

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  39. Bradley Beal on the Junkies this morning. Love that kid. Loving this team! Go Wizards!

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  40. Seriously, a starting 5 of Wall, Beal, Carmelo, Nene & Gortat looks pretty good for next year.

    Carmelo's got enough $$...and he wants to play for a contender. And DC is close to his home city of Baltimore.

    Just sayin'

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  41. This article is entertaining on so many levels: 90's hip hop, yacht rock, bar mitzvahs...

    p://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/the-juice/6070114/regulate-at-20-warren-g-michael-mcdonald-discuss-the-g-funk-jam

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