Sunday, January 15, 2012

Soundtrack of a Season, Part 1: The 2011-12 Washington Wizards

The 2011-2012 Washington Wizards are bad. Historically bad. "Worst start in franchise history" bad (which actually is hard to believe, right?). The Wiz just got worked in a home-and-home with the Philadelphia 76ers, and are now a stellar 1-11 this season. I'll stop after this note, and get to the fun stuff: the Wizards have one win. EVERY OTHER TEAM HAS AT LEAST THREE.

In other words, Washington needs to spice things up, ans I have a suggestion. Intro songs for each  individual player. As chosen by me. These songs should also be played anytime the Washington player appears on the Jumbotron. Ted Leonsis, I hope you're listening...

You 2011-2012 Washington Wizards roster, set to music (Part 1** of how ever many I actually do):

#7, Andray Blatche, F
For some asinine reason, Ernie Grunfeld and Flip Saunders felt it wise to name Andray Blatche the captain of this team. For that alone they should both be dismissed. I found the perfect classic rock tune to remind us of the epic #BlatcheCaptaincy every time his sulking, doughy mug is showed on the big screen.


#22, Shelvin Mack, G
An extremely lazy selection by me, showing no creativity by me, other than the ability to match a last name to a song in a contrive filler post. But I do enjoy the jam. And it will now be stuck in your head all day.


#24, Jan Vesely, F
The final entry today is the easiest of all. Watching Jan Vesely run around like a goofball is one of the few enjoyable things about this Wizards team. I want to hear this theme 6 to 9 times a game.

 

**I am lazy as sin, so you only get three players this time around. rob demanded filler, so this is what you're getting.

11 comments:

zman said...

Willie Hutch should be involved with Shelvin Mack's intro. And you need to link to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BMnFOr_Xoc

rob said...

joe flacco really isn't all that good

rob said...

'course, neither is teejay yates

Dave said...

my friend just quoted my essay! he said, "eli couldn't see the line!" we saw the line but he couldn't.

Igor said...

Complaining about officiating is lame, but I think the refereeing this weekend is the most inept I have seen in a while.

zman said...

Mini-summit.

Danimal said...

There have been another 2 calls at least since then that have been as bad or worse than others.

Jerry said...

That was an impressive performance by the Giants.

rob said...

indeed - and yet more evidence why i don't gamble on sports

Dave said...

hooray giants. i assume my chili is the catalyst. and the mini-summit.

Marls said...

Apparently Dave farted the Giants to victory.