I have a secret to tell from my electrical well.
Wait, wrong post. In truth, I have a confession to make. All but my very closest friends know me as a mild-mannered (I'll thank you to not snicker at this point.) suburban businessman with a wife and kids, minivan, all the trappings. This morning's Washington Post blew my cover and exposed my double life, and frankly, I'm breathing more easily than I have in years.
The Washington Times had the story back in November, but nobody really paid much attention to that right-wing whackadoodle rag:
D.C. United has acquired veteran defender Robbie Russell, 32, from
Real Salt Lake in exchange for a 2013 MLS SuperDraft third round
selection. In other news, United will kick off the 2012 season at home
on March 10.
Russell comes to United following four seasons with
Real Salt Lake, where he played 78 regular season matches (68 starts).
The veteran also played in leagues in Norway and Denmark.
It's true. Despite my outward appearance, I'm actually a 32 year-old African American outside back with a penchant for tattooing my club logo on my ribcage. You may remember me from when I scored the winning goal in a shootout to lift RSL to the 2009 MLC Cup. (The stuff about "Tiana" is a bit of a ruse, but it makes for a good story.)
Damn, but it feels good to stop living a lie. Can't wait to see you all at RFK this season. I'll have tickets waiting for all of you.