Friday, September 30, 2011

Whiplash

Proving that we're nothing if not diverse, we pivot this morning from Shlara's terrific work to one of the year's most sublimely ridiculous events. Our own TR is in training for the 2011 National Beard and Moustache Championships, to be held on October 8 in Lancaster, PA. The competition is fierce in the championship's five categories (moustache, partial beard, full beard groomed, full beard natural, and freestyle), but we've got a lot of faith in our guy.

Depicted here very early in his training regimen, TR's known for his creativity and improvisational beard skills. Importantly, he's also legendary in the community for the speed at which his facial topiary grows. He goes 0 to 60mm in less than a full business day. He takes shaving breaks like most of us go for coffee.

I've got a room reserved at the Lancaster Horse and Buggy Motel. I've got space for a few more folks. Let me know if you want in, and big ups to TR.

72 comments:

rob said...

dave will be pleased to know that chris christie is now leaning towards running for the gop presidential nomination. not that he has a chance in hell of winning - he's got far too many "liberal" views for the current gop electorate.

Geoff said...

Yeah...if you've held office for more than about 5 minutes, you are destined to fail the tea party purity test. If you have no relevant experience or record whatsoever, then you may be able to pass the purity test.

Geoff said...

And for the record, I don't think Christie's getting in. I think we'll end up with Mittens Romney as the GOP nom, and someone like Bachmann or Palin will run as the tea party express candidate, and Obama will cruise to victory.

rob said...

can any of you hiphop heads give me a little info on dj shadow? his new record is being previewed on npr music and i kinda dig it.

Whitney said...

Geoff, forgive me if this is a common thought/gag in the political circles, but wouldn't you think that a Michele Bachmann/Bob Turner ticket with "Takin' Care of Business" as their theme song would garner about 50,000 classic rock shooutout fan votes just on name only?

And by thought/gag, I mean a thought that makes me gag.

Geoff said...

Very common gag around these parts...and predictably both Congressman Bob Turner from NY and Congressman Mike Turner from Ohio are not conservative enough for Bachmann to pick them as a running mate.

zman said...

Is this the best we can get to be the leader of the free world? I may write in Ron DeBlasio for president.

Geoff said...

I think Mittens would make a perfectly competent "manager" as president. He's not very warm, or genuine, but I bet he can chair the piss out of a meeting.

TR said...

Full disclosure - I am also well-prepared for the lesser known 2011 National Shoulder Hair Competition.

Hirsutely yours,

TR

zman said...

He's no Al Swearengen. I'm braiding my shoulder hair for tHe competition.

zman said...

So Romney would be the Trent Dilfer of presidents? Again, can't we do better?

TR said...

Romney is mushy enough that he may actually try to bridge gaps.

rob said...

i read that as 'romney is mustachey enough...'

in which case, sold!

T.J. said...

I have a terrible beard going...where do I enter?

T.J. said...

I've added proper labels to this post.

rob said...

indeed you have

TR said...

Entry has been formatted again because TR wanted a better stache shot. And you're damn right that TR is speaking about himself in the 3rd person.

Dave said...

dj shadow's "endtroducing" is the greatest mash-up album ever made. nothing else he made came even close. it's amazing. i didn't know he was making a new album-- i am excited to be disappointed.

T.J. said...

That is a phenomenal photo.

rob said...

much better photo - thank you

Dave said...

and the fact that you guys are even DISCUSSING the presidential election, when both parties are beholden to the finance industry and differ only in name only (and a couple of hot button issues) means that you have fallen hook, line and sinker for what has been labelled "democracy" lately in the US, but what should be called a radical redistribution of wealth to the wealthiest, and a radical revision of law to reward those who run the casino. anyone who "follows" the election instead of fomenting violent revolution is complicit.

Dave said...

also, rob and whit, did you catch the last comment on the previous post? SoD and G:TB are blessed!

rob said...

foment, bitches!

and we're remiss in discussion mark's entry in the beard & moustache contest - he's quite formidable himself.

rob said...

blessed, indeed. but she only finds us funny 'a lot of the time'. that leaves 'some of the time' when we're not funny. i blame the teej. and dave's rampant misogyny.

rob said...

dave, speaking of fomenting, why aren't you occupying wall street with the rest of the hippies right now? i hear radiohead's playing later today.

Dave said...

that's awesome. i've been so busy coaching various levels of the people's sport, that i had no idea what the people were up to . . .

i'm out of it in general, but during soccer season, i'm WAY out of it-- luckily today is rosh shashannah so we get a day off here in jersey but we're having people over so i have to go do my chores now.

TR said...

Au revoir, Tito.

Shlara said...

TR looks Gabe Kaplan-esque in that photo.

And the "pedophilia" tag is funny Teej.

TR said...

And without the stache, I look like Tom Cruise. If he had Downs syndrome.

rob said...

dave, i insist that you see pelada) and spread the word about it.

Dave said...

good luck TR. I won a mustache contest once. i have to tell you, it didn't change my life very much . . .

rob said...

and that you ignore that stray parenthesis.

TR said...

Can one of you college football experts enlighten me as to why CBS thought it would be a good idea to move the SEC game of the week to 8 PM so that it would butt heads with the ABC game of the week? Will ratings be better if it gets half of the 8 PM football audience than if it dominated the 3:30 PM time slot?

Dave said...

looks like i can stream "pelada" on netflix, so i will check it out tomorrow . . .

T.J. said...

rob, mark - your Florida/Alabama score predictions, please.

Danimal said...

tr - who knows? my only guess is that from the network's perspective, it's better to be up against one other good game at 8:00 versus 4-5 pretty good ones and another half a dozen or so all at 3:30. of course, notre dame and purdue also play at 8, so make that 2 other good games.

a nice bonus is the 6:00'r with vatech and cremson. 6:00 start is nice...should be all good & lubed up by 8.

Danimal said...

rob - you didn't ask me but here is my prediction...
bama 27
fla 17

rob said...

i haven't seen a down of florida football this year, so this pick is completely out of my ass. rainey and demps scare the shit out of me, but i bet the idea of alabama's defense teeing off on brantley doesn't sit very well with mark. charlie weis will try very hard to keep the ball moving with quick hitters, and probably have some success in the first half. ultimately, i think the tide wears the gators down:

alabama 30
florida 21

Mark said...

My boss went to the hospital this morning. I was then informed I need to cover for him at an event tomorrow. Gainesville trip for Florida-Bama is off. Dagg.Er.

Mark said...

Dave - Endtroducing isn't a mashup album. Not even close. It's probably the seminal trip-hop album of the genre. A great use of samples, breaks and overla musicianship by aDJ. One of my all-time faves.

The greatest mashup album is Z-Trip's 'Uneasy Listening' which you can download for free from Z-Trip's site.

Rob - Shadow is a ridiculously talented DJ & producer from the Bay Area. He started on Mike D's now defunct label "Mo Wax" and is not on a major label. His last album was heavily influenced by the hyphy movement in the Bay Area and thus was a little disappointing to most of his fans. His track with David Banner was fantastic though. "Preemptive Strike" which he actually did before 'Endtroducing' is very good too. "Organ Donor" is amazing. I really like 'The Private Press" but it was different from his first two albums so a lot of people weren't huge fans of it.

He also co-founded Quannum which produced acts like Blackalicious and Latyrx.

Mark said...

As for Florida-Bama, I'd like to be optimistic but Florida hasn't played good enough comp yet this year for me to know enough about them. I'm hoping AJ McCarron's first real SEC road trip will cause him some issues and Florida's offense can do more through the air than they've shown an ability to do thus far this season. I'll go with: Bama 27 Florida 20.

T.J. said...

I don't understand a single thing Mark referenced in that music comment.

rob said...

mccarron worries the hyphy out of me, mark.

and go listen to the new record on npr. i don't know what to call it, but i know it's way cool.

Mark said...

Was just reading a review on the album, Rob. From how it's being described, it sounds like it's cloer to his last labum, 'The Outsider', than any of his other albums.

Dave said...

i wasn't sure what to call "endtroducing" but it is all made of samples, mainly weird ones he dug out of a record store basement . . . i will check out z-trip asap.

what happened to fall?

Mark said...

If Florida's going to win, they'll need some big plays offensively from someone besides Rainey/Demps and McCarron to give a couple back to their defense. So, the key is probably bottling up Richardson enough to get McCarron into obvious passing situations.

Also, Bama's screen game worries me. Lots.

Mark said...

Uneasy Listening is a brilliant mash up album. So good that it kind of ruins lots of other attempts at mashups. Some of the highlights are a Phil Collins/Del mashup & a 'Passin' Me By/Time after Time mashup but there is plenty of good shit on there for fans of hip-hop and/or 80's pop.

zman said...

Francona is out? I guess 2 WS in 8 years isn't enough for a franchise with a winning history like the Red Sawks.

rob said...

the francona news is far more depressing to me than the sox' collapse. i'm not kidding.

if rumors are to be believed, that cocksucker john lackey has a lot to do with it, and francona's leaving of his own volition, not being fired.

Marls said...

Heading off now to game one of the ALDS. Unfortunately, the Marlsette is a Yankee fan (with legitimate ties to the team). I am looking for a reason to root against the Yankees other than my deep rooted vitriolic hatred of them.

Inspired by this post, if anybody asks me tonight why I am a Tigers fan I will tell them it is because of Thomas Magnum.

T.J. said...

What's the skinny on the Lackey/Francona beef?

Marls said...

The Tito news is depressing.

I hate the smug arrogance of Yankee fans, but over the last decade Boston/New England fans have become insufferable. Working for a company based in CT, I have to deal with some of these jerkwads all the time.

The fact that people have been calling for Francona's, like the eloquent master of the oral tradition in Z-Man's link from yesterday, is a joke. Don't these people remember Grady Little?!?! Who the fucK to they want to manage this team? Art Howe? Buck Showalter? Stump Merrill? Willie Randolph?

rob said...

purely rumor, but lackey's alleged to be pure clubhouse poison and tito got tired of it. one story has him drinking beer in the clubhouse during a game. i'm sure there's way more to it than one asshole. but i choose to believe that lackey's an asshole - it fits my worldview.

rob said...

i don't need your stinking facts.

hey, wait, isn't that the tea party rallying cry?

Squeaky said...

I thought the first picture was spot on for the last tag but the new one might be even better.

TR, I don't think I would have recognized you walking down the street.

rob said...

how 'bout the balls on joe maddon, going with a kid with one major league start in alds game 1?

T.J. said...

Denis Leary for Red Sox Manager

T.J. said...

The kid pitcher is winning 7-0. Rays are scary.

Mark said...

So is Tampa, TJ.

zman said...

Lackey can't drink in the clubhouse when he isn't pitching but Millar, Damon and the rest of "The Idiots" can do shots of Jack in-game? Just sayin.

Mark said...

TR - With regard to SEC game of the week question:

I get the feeling the SEC is of the opinion that their primetime game will get better ratings than any other primetime game (can't say I blame them since the SEC has won the last 5 BCS titles and is a heavy favorite for a 6th). And since ABC runs a primetime game each week, it doesn't really matter when they choose to air a primetime game. They'll be going head to head with ABC at some point no matter what game they air on primetime.

More significant, however, is the fact that CBS' SEC contract allows them to air one primetime SEC game per year. Florida & Alabama are the SEC's two biggest ratings draws. Both are ranked, undefeated and playing each other. They also won't play each other again in the regular season again for another 5 years.

Seems like a pretty logical decision now, no?

rob said...

pre-game, z. and i'm sure you appreciate the difference in circumstances. though you do have that nagging leftover logic block.

zman said...

I'm calling bullshit on the Krochet Kids from those Bing ads.

Whitney said...

Alabama 46
Florida 23

combined... well, you know.

Whitney said...

BTW, big whit got a job today, so expect more Igor

Donna said...

Hey,

It just occurred to me that y'all are the perfect audience to ask this question and possibly get a helpful answer...we've moved to Eastern KY, which has resulted in inability to get NFL football games that we, especially husband, wants to watch...we don't have DirectTV, but DISH Network...so, do y'all know best way, possible way?, for him to watch the games live? We've been checking some on-line sites to stream live but can't figure out the best option, one that actually works. Do you all have suggestions??

Appreciate any help...

rob said...

down with whitney! long live igor!

Dave said...

so although i always defer to mark and zman on issues of hip-hop, i just shot some hoops at the gym while listening to dj z-trips "uneasy listening" and it is NOT the greatest mash-up album of all time. i think "all day" and feed the animals" are way better (but perhaps too mainstream for mark) and i like the wu-tang/beatles one more as well. i am doing my research now, listening to someone named "speaky" and downloading some tapes by "the hood internet" but i'm pretty sure greg gillis is the master of this stuff . . .

whit-- i assume you got a job as a mash-up artist.

rob said...

ran 8 miles in the rain this morning. my nipples are really chafed.

carry on.

Danimal said...

Body Glide Rob.

rob said...

roger that, danimal.

new post up - a game for you all to play.

Joseph said...

I love the event, there are some really crazy fellas with some really crazy crazy bears and mustaches.
viagra online