Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Horrendous TV Show Draft: Fall 2011

Prodigious tweeter @LonelyTailgater threw out the notion of a Horrendous TV Show Draft on twitter several weeks back, and after successfully answering a random trivia question, I found myself conducting a fantasy television show draft at 10 o'clock at night while on vacation, with six other guys I only know because of the tweet machine. Your participants (Mr. Tailgater is the Roger Goodell of this league):


The goal? Draft the show debuting in the Fall 2011 that would have the shortest run. As you can see here, there were no shortage of awesome (horrendous) choices. I have listed my three draft selections below, along with the blurbs that made me think "Holy shit this show sucks - I must select it."

First round selection:
SUBURGATORY (ABC)
Single father George only wants the best for his 16-year-old daughter, Tessa. So when he finds a box of condoms on her nightstand, he moves them out of their apartment in New York City to a house in the suburbs. But all Tessa sees is the horror of over-manicured lawns and plastic Franken-moms. Being in the ‘burbs can be hell, but it also may just bring Tessa and George closer than they’ve ever been.
Debut: Wednesday, September 28rd at 8:30 pm.
This sounded like a steaming pile of manure the minute I read the blurb. What a forced, canned, overdone sitcom topic. Jay Bilas was even raving about this pick in the green room. And, just to make this thing better (worse), SNL has-beens Ana Gasteyer and Chris Parnell are involved.

Second round selection:
APARTMENT 23 (ABC)
After a na├»ve Midwestern girl’s big city dreams are dashed her first week in New York, she finds herself living with her worst nightmare in this hilarious, contemporary comedy about a female odd couple who are surrounded by an outrageous cast of characters.
Debut: Late-Fall or mid-season replacement
According to Wikipedia, this show was originally titled "Don't Trust The Bitch in Apartment 23." Im serious. At what point in time will networks stop trying to capture the cheesiness and success of "Friends"? I fear I might never even get to see an episode of this show to mock, as some mid-season replacements just disappear forever.

Third round selection
A GIFTED MAN (CBS)
A drama about a brilliant, charismatic surgeon whose life changes forever when his deceased ex-wife begins teaching him the meaning of life from the “hereafter.”
Debut: This Friday the 23rd, 8pm.
So, this is basically that Jennifer Love Hewitt show, minus her beautiful bosoms? This has fail written all over it. But, for some odd reason, it is directed by Jonathan Demme, the same guy who did "Silence of the Lambs" and 'Philadelphia". I fear Mr. Demme will not be having similar success with this small screen attempt.


If you would like to monitor the failing and flailing fall shows of 2011, I suggest hitting up the Futon Critic. And of course following all of the league participants on twitter, if you're not already. I'll have a review of "A Gifted Man" up next Monday. In the immortal words of Bart Scott, "CAN'T WAIT".

16 comments:

TR said...

There are more words here than in every one of The Teej's prior posts combined.

Whitney said...

Was "Wednesday, September 28rd" an intentional coupling with calling it manure? Well played.

TR said...

I just saw that the Yanks were losing and smiled, knowing that it made Sox Nation queasy.

T.J. said...

I like television. Especially shitty television.

Michael said...

Didn't they do this on Grantland?

T.J. said...

Perhaps. I wouldn't know. Don't really read Grantland.

T.J. said...

Michael, why are you not on twitter? It would seem like a useful outlet for you...especially the more I realize how much porn is out there on both twitter and tumblr.

T.J. said...

I googled "Jennifer Love Hewitt boobs":

http://bit.ly/puY0VJ

Michael said...

Twitter? Never heard of it.

rob said...

i saw that the yankees were winning and smiled, knowing that it confused the fuck out of tr.

rob said...

yankees win. thaaaaaa yankees win.

i just threw up in my mouth.

rob said...

frankly, yankees fans should be rooting hard for them to knock the rays out. i'd much rather have the red sox in the playoffs in i were a yanks fan - they're a shell of the team that played so well in july and august. only two healthy starters, a ragged bullpen, no third baseman, and only serviceable corner outfielders.

Mr KQ said...

"2 minutes is not a long time to find your heaviest snatch" - line just heard on espn women's crossfit games.

Mr KQ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rob said...

jennifer love hewitt is still quite fetching in my book

rob said...

if you're not on the twitter and thusly missed this, i insist you listen to the scott van pelt show's 'pulse of the nation':

http://espn.go.com/espnradio/play?id=7001623