But I'm too lazy to come up with much. My beloved Bills will be atrocious this year, as Jerry noted in his Wheelhouse. This woman may be the only person in America who will be this excited to cheer for the Bills this year.
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Update: Glad to see zman throw a post up for kickoff weekend banter. I also had planned to get the world excited for Week 1 of the Inaugural Imaginary League. That's right folks, we haven't even called it fantasy football and you're already bored. But bear with us, briefly, and then jump in the comments to laugh at me for losing by 169 to Zman this week.
In brief, ten of us obviously wanted to waste more time on imaginary football at work, so here's the esteemed lineup of owners (with week 1 matchups):
Leinart Wig Company (TJ)
I couldn't even come up with a funny name. Great start to the season.
homeboys bonanza (zman)
I sense some very tense Monday and Tuesday conversations on "Zman and the Teej" over this league.
Sports! (Dennis)
I hope this is an homage to Huey Lewis.
Mr. Mashed Potatoes (GoldenBoy TNT)
Probably a reference I should get. Or not. Ted likes Philly. Enuff said.
JoeMontanaFishburne (Mark)
A great Week 1 matchup between the two clear winners in "Best Team Name"...
Paging Dr. Faggot (Geoff)
...though this name has to be #1 simply because it made it through the Yahoo filter unscathed.
Bears (Michael Jack Lang)
Worst. Name. Ever.
Shinola (Igor)
WILL HURRICANE IGOR RAVAGE THE LEAGUE WEEK 1!!!!! Jim Cantore will tell us at the half.
The Lumberjacks (Mayhugh)
Hopefully a reference to the classic Monty Python sketch.
The Seaward (WheelhouseJerry)
Not googling this one...don't think it's a Seinfeld reference...it is Jerry, so maybe Arrested Development. Just googled it...I guessed right.
I think we all agreed to chip in 20 bucks for this league. Excitement ensues.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
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421 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 421 Newer› Newest»The Redskins got McNabb? Really? I must've totally not been paying attention.
Mayhugh - unless I just missed something, you just commented on your erection. You may be on the wrong blog.
Iron Maiden concert on DirecTV channel 101 right now.
Can I please have the address of the blog where I can read about guys erections? Its for... ... a friend...
No Romo. No.
Loving the Skins unis. Makes me think of the Super Bowl they lost to the Fins.
What's up with Miles Austin ignoring Monmouth University? That's my home county. F him and the chlamydia he caught from Kim Kardashian.
Miles Austin has enough gums for a hundred mouths.
first play of the season: missed tackle. osaka!
Not a bad start. Bend but don't break, and all that.
No yards and a cloud of dust. Love it Portis.
Williams looks absolutely enormous in the huddle.
Derrick Dockery struggled saying his name. Nice.
was just thinking the same thing about williams. his ass weighs more than i do.
I like williams getting out on the backer there. I have a new crush.
The comments are getting weird. Erections, mens asses. It must be football season.
McWheels!!!
Hi there, wheels. Nice to see you.
Mildly aroused.
Or a dinner party at Geoff's...
Dammit, TJ.
Hi Mayhugh!
6 to midnight.
I remember in his rookie year when Joey Galloway burned Night Train Lane...that was tits.
williams! road grader.
Williams got worked by Bowen on that second down. Aside from that, he's looking quite solid.
gano, add it up
I'd feel a tad better about the defense if Doughty wasn't starting out there.
Miles Austin is Kim Kardashian's new BF, right?
And Brewster was sitting next to me in Morton's last night eating a t-bone steak.
Haynesworth looks disinterested. He was a full second late on the snap there.
Poop call.
Deangelo Hall, professional asshole.
this is football, right?
Speaking of things being the tits, my new cable box rocks. I'm really glad I spent 4 hours with my head up my ass to get it. Three minutes till the True Blood season finale.
In other news, Dez Bryant's knees weren't down yet (ngs) so I don't think Fletcher's hit was unsportsmanlike.
Dockery is listed at 6'6", 325, Williams, at 6'5, 318. You tell me who is bigger when they line up next to each other.
watch fake pass draw
Skins gonna get flagged on 3rd down snap?
Ballsy declining that. Stupid and ballsy.
Frye? Frye?
nice.
Anyone? Buehller? (Was I first?)
That guy is zman's kicker.
Don't bother Zman with the complexities of fantasy football. He's watching True Blood.
Albert Haynesworth needs to stop being a fucking pussy.
There seems to be an over-abundance of goodwill between these teams. Lots of helping opponents up, tapping helmets, etc.
shanahan's gonna grind haynesworth into a fine powder
I think it will be pretty chunky powder, actually.
I may change my team name to The Bon Temps Fangbangers.
I lobbied Congressman Tiberi into a fine powder a couple weeks back.
Mmmm, fine powder.
I miss the faux Drew Bledsoe-written blog "TonyHomo.com"
Orakpo has been quiet.
At this point just tell me if the movie isn't available in 3D.
I'm not used to getting a flag thrown on a big skins play and having it be against the other team...
Anyone else notice Dockery and Jamaal Brown have taken series off and then returned. Injuries? Resting?
I noticed Heyer in there, and thought that might be bad.
Donny M looks really fast out there.
Al Michaels doing schtick.
Albert looks...disinterested.
They need to flag the center for hands to the face eventually.
I think they'll throw out the sweep again on third here.
If Dallas commits to the run, they'll score every possession. History says they won't do that.
Fast half.
If Jones and Snyber eat papa johns, I'm finding being a billionaire much less appealing.
Wow, not used to that call inside the 5 with 2 mins to go, either.
The Redskins have all their time outs...refreshing.
Excellent point, Geoff. Encourages gutsy calls like that.
Skins getting A LOT of calls.
WOOOOOAAAAH
Holy fuck!
ohhhhhhhhh!!!!
Hahaha. F the Cowboys!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
that shit's been happening *to* the skins for years
Great example of the point Jerry usually makes about end of half - why run any play if you're going to run that. The risk outweighs the reward by a hefty amount.
and when people start behaving like jerry, we'll know that skynet's taken over
You run it b/c you're an arrogant, overhyped team of assholes.
This halftime show sucks.
Bill Dwyer has never been nor will ever be funny.
David Caruso: Looks like Tashard (puts on sunglasses) made the wrong Choice.
Maybe we're all just Disciples o' Jerry, but there was not one GTBer who didn't think that any decision other than taking a knee would be retarded. And as Jon Lovitz said, we're reaping all the benefit. On the plus side, I had three people tell me they'd never seen me move that fast/jump that high when it happened. Not that there were any Carl Lewis comparisons.
Running game is still poop. i'd like to see someone aside from Portis back there.
timeout 49 seconds in? just want us to remember zorn.
Jinxed them on the time outs.
The Cowboys look really unprepared and poorly coached. i know, it's a big surprise from a Wade-coached team.
Zorn-saka!
Fred Davis blocking on that play looked like my wife nancing thru Neiman's looking for a new sweater.
I really jinxed them on the time outs.
Holy shit--things going the Skins way. Almost justifies the 2nd timeout.
Cowboys will not be one-upped on incompetence.
This 5th preseason game is going poorly for the Cowboys.
Portis's YPC has to be around 1.9.
I'm really enjoying getting bailed out repeatedly.
What I said before.
Wade Phillips: "Awww, horsefeathers. Geez, guys!"
I'll be convinced things are starting to turn around if they score a TD here. This is a situation they'd screw it up in the past.
When you can't run the ball, red zone offense gets tougher.
New coach, new QB, new pants...same asshats.
Wherever Slater is, that shot of the Portis ass massage made him uncomfortable.
Thank God Roy Williams in playing for the Cowboys.
Good job by the corner taking out 2 blockers on that sweep.
Big fill by Landry there.
Maybe the best play Landry's made in 2 years.
Nepotism. White hot.
Certainly the first time his tackle was louder than his taunt.
I think I'm done with Mike Sellers...can't block, can't catch, bitches a lot.
It's really frustrating how poorly the Skins play when leading.
Is Durant Brooks available?
Every time Kyle Shanahan ever got laid, he wondered if it was because of his dad.
Every time Wes Phillips ever got laid, he knew it was in spite of his dad.
Well, they didn't move the ball a yard but at least the punt was awful.
that 'when leading' part really wasn't necessary
This game has 21-10 written all over it.
Just a reminder--the Redskins offense hasn't done shit all night.
Thanks, Geoff. I was too busy watching Haynesworth getting bitchhandled to notice.
Answer with a TD here...or probably lose.
Reed Doughty's play ensures Sean Taylor will never be forgotten.
imaginary football dagger for gore's reluctant masseuses, my squad in a non-gtb league
They could have picked a hotter dude to play Gekko's daughter. Just sayin...
Romo just screwed over Team Gheorghe in my non-Imaginary league.
portis' running style is best described as 'burrowing'
As are many of McNabb's passes.
Every time they throw to Armstrong, something shitty happens. Might be numbering yourself 13, dickhead.
This will not end well.
Laron Landry sucks.
Geoff, I wish I could disagree. Fuck. F u c k.
They say that repeating the same behaviors and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. So by rooting for this team to win this game, are we all lunatics?
It is shocking that they turned over the roster, coaching staff and front office and still produced the same on field product.
Well, one thing has remained constant: the dwarf in big boy clothes who sits in the owner's box. Jinxy LeSnyder.
Tony Romo, please turn the ball over. Please.
Philly Philly buch buch
McNabb has looked pretty shitty tonight. Doesn't bode well.
Keith Brooking has good mic skills. Sign him up WWE.
Igor's prediction of 21-10 is way too merciful and conclusive. It's going to be 14-13, close enough for most of Skins fans to optimistically say they've turned a corner, but a huge dagger of a close loss.
As has been noted ad nauseum, the Skins ground game is poop.
Great blitz pickup by Portis, but Moss shat himself on the catch.
Michaels and Collinsworth have really missed the mark not mentioning that the Redskins starting LG and RT have missed most of the game.
Good grief.
Catching is over-rated.
Santana Moss-- you'll catch that once you get a few years under your belt in this league.
This punter is not very good at his job.
Throw a pick pansy.
What possible reason could Romo have for throwing to Roy Williams repeatedly?
To screw one of my fantasy teams? Romo hates me.
Flirtation?
Mayhugh, 14-13 would be fitting revenge for the boys from a few years ago and too painful to endure. God doesn't love me but he ain't that cruel.
The Cowboys' 3rd and short playcalling is a shade on the predictable side.
Speaking of which, Draper got his mojo back tonight immediately after getting a hummer in the back of a taxi. Remember that if you ever lose your mojo.
Move the ball, dickheads.
That first down felt like a birthing.
Larry Johnson...slow...but shitty.
If there is a Satan, please let Ware be seriously hurt.
Jay Ratliff's beard reminds me of a warm safe place...
Demarcus Ware is being checked for a spinal injury. So Jerry Jones takes the moment to hit the pisser. Stay classy, Jerry.
There is a Satan. His name is Seacrest.
I have no clue who this guy is playing RT for the Skins is.
Uncooley
Wow. Portis. Where did that come from?
Horrible call. Fuck you, ref.
Wade is an impressively bad coach. I agree with Al - gotta take a time out on the front end of the 2 min warning.
if the Skins run the clock out, I will be mighty impressed.
Just poured a celebratory glass of scotch. Haven't drank any yet.
Oh Trent. I've been gushing over you all night, and then you go and do something like that.
Geoff, pour it back in the bottle, please.
Onions, Gano. Onions.
Wow. Nice kick kid.
You Gano it.
14-13...14-13...14-13...
Did I see that right? Are Jones and Snyder in the same box?
Please Tony Romo, help out rob and Geoff and Mayhugh and Igor...and me...and throw a god damn pick.
I just poured a new vodka drink. Have not deemed it celebratory or misery-quenching. It will get consumed either way.
I
Hate
This
For the record, I hate the corner blitz, but I hate it more in this situation.
Ugh...this feels wrong.
SO MUCH TIME LEFT.
The very late deep corner blitz where there's not enough time for the guy to even get to the QB... Yes.
Stay up late because you talk yourself into a Skins win, only to have it snagged late, so you go wake up miserable and tired. No, this feels about right...
Satan, old friend. Call me on my cell. Let's talk.
Goddammit. Hall costs us even through injury.
EFFING STONE HANDS ROGERS
Remember that drop.
If only Carlos Rogers had 10 fingers like everyone else...
Remember that drop as well.
A sack ends the game, effectively.
If only laRon Landry had 10 fingers like everyone else...
Romo WANTS to give this away...
this is agonizing.
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod
WTF!! Cover their #1 guy.
Fuck x1000
2 more plays...
Does God hate me enough to let them score on the last play?
I can't watch.
I'm not even a Skins fan and this is excruciating.
My pimary care physician says this is very, very bad for me.
there's no reason they should complete a pass in the end zone here.
MOTHEREFFER
Um...
WOW, WHAT A TURN OF EVENTS.
Weirdest ending to a game ever?
Thank goodness. Game over. I need an IV.
I might take a shot instead.
Never seen any shit like that. But I am chugging this drink gleefully.
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