Futile Superfans Season Finale

We’re a little embarrassed to reveal just how much we’ve been anticipating this weekend. Between the series finale of the greatest television show of our time, the Colonial Athletic Association (CAA) conference basketball tournament, and an embarrassment of other hoops action, our entertainment cupboard overfloweth. It is with no irony or embellishment that we tell you that we’re far more geeked for the next 4 days than we were for this year’s Super Bowl.

And so, in honor of the conclusion of The Wire’s spectacular run, we give you the most absurd CAA conference tourney preview you’ll find:

Round One – Friday, March 7

(8) Hofstra (12-17, 8-10) vs. (9) Towson (12-17, 7-11)

Hofstra, the league’s biggest disappointment, stand in for Jimmy McNulty and Lester Freamon in the CAA cast. The Pride came into 2007-8 with 3 consecutive 20-win seasons, each culminating in a trip to the postseason NIT. And just as we expected better of good police like McNulty and Freamon, Tom Pecora’s boys let their backers down this year.

Towson’s basically background scenery in the CAA, just like Slim Charles on The Wire. Hofstra takes the first step towards redemption in this matchup, beating Pat Kennedy’s Tigers easily.

(5) William and Mary (14-15, 10-8) vs. (12) Georgia State (9-20, 5-13)

W&M reminds us of no Wire character more than Dukie, the smart, sweet, and silly but ultimately doomed youth. Picked on for years by the tougher kids (teams), the Tribe found a purpose in 2007-8, as finally did Dukie, if only briefly. Georgia State is Clay Davis, if only because their head coach, Rod Barnes, bears a passing resemblance to the embattled public servant.

Dukie gives the audience hope for the future tomorrow, as W&M notches their 4th conference tournament victory in 26 tries, avenging last year’s buzzer-beating loss at the hands of GSU’s Leonard Mendez. Sheeeee-it.

(7) Delaware (13-16, 9-9) vs. (10) Drexel (12-19, 5-13)

At one point this season, Delaware was 5-0 in conference play, alone in first place and on top of the world. Just like Stringer Bell. The game gets everyone in the end, though, especially those who think they have it figured out, and the Hens skidded to a 4-9 finish. Bruiser Flint’s Drexel Dragons remind us of Baltimore Sun reporter Scott Templeton, perpetually overrated and bound to get what’s coming to them. Just not in the first round of the tourney, where they surprise Delaware and move on to face UNC Wilmington.

(6) Northeastern (13-16, 9-9) vs. (11) James Madison (13-16, 5-13)

JMU started the season with a surprising win over a good Siena team, and carried the momentum from that win into a 7-2 out-of-conference mark entering CAA play, where they jumped ugly on a solid Northeastern team and beat VCU, the league’s best team. And just like Ziggy Sobotka’s high-rolling lifestyle crashed around him, the Dukes went from filet mignon to shit sandwich in a hurry.

Boston-based Northeastern was quietly competent in league play all season, getting their job done with little fanfare and building towards a promising future, like Detective Leander Sydnor. Next year, the Huskies will be a tough out. This year, they’ll drum a JMU team that’s just playing out the string.

We’ll post the final 3 rounds this afternoon.