Thursday, March 27, 2008

I'm Keith Hernandez!

So I walk into a midtown parking garage today to meet my wife and kid, who rolled in b/c we have dinner plans. Who gets into a Jeep Grand Cherokee 3 feet away from us? None other than Keith Hernandez. He was cranking some terrible type of Latin pop music that I'd never heard before. His hair was jet black thanks to the free dye he gets while peddling the stuff with Walt Frazier.

While holding a stroller with my son, I was torn between saying one of the following:

A - "Sorry dude, but he'll be a Yankee fan."

B - "You're Keith Hernandez!"

C - "Did you just buy an 8-ball?"

Sadly, I just mumbled to myself while staring at him, disappointing me and probably creeping him out a bit. Sad turn of affairs.


57 comments:

rob said...

i knew it was a good idea to add a new yorker to the editorial staff. immediate dividends.

TR said...

My G:TB dividends have been neither significant nor immediate, but I humbly accept your thanks.

By the way, Rob, I hate your Sox and David Ortiz even more than I did a month ago. I got him in the second round of my fantasy draft this year. He responds by going 0-fer-Asia on me! I also got Pedroia as a steal in one of the final rounds. He's got to be good for 90+ runs this year.

I hate having Sox players on my fantasy squad. The only Yankee I have is Long Duck Wang, who's on the verge of contracting Ed Whitson-itis after getting shelled in the playoffos last year. He'll be getting booed at home by the end of May.

rob said...

i promise you, in fact guarantee you, that you will fall head over heels in man-love with papi before the season is over. pedroia should be good for at least 90 if they keep him in the leadoff spot and he stays healthy.

and big daddy drew hearts bob mould - that's a positive development.

rob said...

look at all the baby blue in the stands in charlotte. this offends my delicate sensibilities.

rob said...

clearly wazzu's tempo, but carolina's good in half-court defense and wazzu looks a little jumpy.

rob said...

jeez, wsu. hanging out with my in-laws would be more fun than this.

rob said...

xavier, letting it slip away?

T.J. said...

Quite a ballgame WVU and Xavier are giving us here...

rob said...

wow. how many chances did wvu have there? this is quite exciting.

rob said...

"big time onions"

T.J. said...

Awful call

T.J. said...

Raft might have an aneurysm in OT

rob said...

ohhh, that's a snappy in-bounds play...aaaaand, onions.

T.J. said...

Let's hope Ville/Tenn is that good

Mark said...

So does UT exorcise last year's demons by coming back from a huge deficit this time? If they do, will I be too drunk to remember?

Stay tuned....

T.J. said...

Two notes:

1-Just turn off the shot clock. It will not be needed.

2-Dennis thinks this "looks like a prison game".

Mark said...

You know, Wazzu gets a lot of shit for their style of play, but UCLA isn't exactly the '87 Lakers either. As evidenced by their 15-13 advantage with 11 minutes left in the first half.

Mark said...

Not enough crackers for the Dukie?

T.J. said...

"Organized chaos" is too kind of a term for this...

T.J. said...

I believe it is more of a commentary on the style of play...but I bet Padgett is a bit scared.

Mark said...

Brue Pearl likes to "let 'em play".

Good God...24 tos so far.

Mark said...

i know, I was just giving a Duke fan who I've never met some shit.

Btw,and apropos of nothing..I've been meaning to mention to you that I played pickup ball with/against Doug Flutie about two weeks ago.

T.J. said...

Say what? Details pls...

Mark said...

he grew up around here and his folks still live down here. He and some friends came by the local park that me and all my friends play at 5-6 times a week.

He's a midget(got to be like 5'7") so we guarded each other for about 4 games. He's a pretty good player and seemed like a really cool guy.

T.J. said...

See, I figured he'd be one of those real annoying pick up players, always hustling, in your face, undercutting guys on rebounds...

T.J. said...

Game on...

Mark said...

Jay Bilas wants to make love to david Padgett.

T.J. said...

OK, I'll ask the dumb question - is David related to Scott?

T.J. said...

Damn

T.J. said...

Soooo, Chris Lofton is hurt, or vastly overrated?

Mark said...

I think its a little of both. He's Europe material but he ain't this bad.

T.J. said...

Every starter on TN is going to foul out at this rate

T.J. said...

Huuuuge win for the Caps tonite

Jerry said...

I'm long for Jay Bilas.

T.J. said...

Good, Jerry will know this - what is the NCAA hockey super upset they talk about in that commercial that is on all the time?

T.J. said...

I'm calling it for Pitino's crew...

Jerry said...

Holy Cross over Minnesota.

T.J. said...

What year? Why such a big deal? My college hockey knowledge is sorely lacking.

Jerry said...

I think it was 2 years ago. It was a pretty massive upset. Minnesota was probably #1 in the country. Holy Cross got an automatic bid from one of the minor conferences, and those teams never win a game.

Mark said...

Oh my God...WKU has made this a game?

T.J. said...

Um, WKU, hello...

T.J. said...

Great minds...

Mark said...

How many teams are in the Div. 1 Hockey Tournament?

Jerry said...

16 teams. Single elimination. Starts tomorrow afternoon.

Mark said...

Ow...Collison is out. Thats huge.

T.J. said...

Smart foul douche

Mark said...

Where do I watch this "tournament"?

T.J. said...

I'm guessing Versus

Mark said...

Booo!

Mark said...

I have to admit...I kind of hate UCLA.

T.J. said...

WKU's coach looks like George McFly...

"You are my density"

T.J. said...

Well, that was fun while it lasted...

Jerry said...

I'd go with the ESPN family of networks, starting with "U". Possibly CSTV also (or whatever it's called these days).

I think the 1st game is on at 4 tomorrow and involves Clarkson, which is my dad's alma mater (barely).

Whitney said...

William & Mary is barely my alma mater, but a diploma is a diploma.

Geoff said...

Things you find out when you go to the Verizon Center: the 2009 Frozen Four is in DC. Tickets are still (extremely) available.

Things you find out at Gheorghe: Rezvan has legally procreated. Ew...

rob said...

dennis' kid went 4-0 last night. who does he like tonight?

Dennis said...

Without hesitating, he went with strong bangs of the 1 Cup on the Memphis, Wisconsin, and Kansas games...and then switched to the 1/4 Cup for the Stanford game. Might have had something to do with the tall "Mexican fellas" that look alike.

Mark it zero, Donnie.