Wednesday, March 26, 2008

S'more Hoops


“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

This hoary chestnut brought to you by the impending visit of my in-laws, timed to perfectly coincide with the Round of 16. What I can’t change is the fact that they have no interest in sports, let alone college basketball. What I can change is my location, so I’ll be once again playing the role of the indifferent son-in-law and relocating to my upstairs entertainment lounge for Thursday and Friday’s action. I’m quite convincing in this role, having played it to much critical acclaim during my extended run in this particular production.

Breaking a leg, then, with another set of fearless and poorly-informed predictions regarding Thursday’s games:

(7) West Virginia vs. (3) Xavier (7:10, Phoenix, AZ)

Okay, uncle. I gave no credit to Xavier for their excellent regular season, predisposed as I am to see the Atlantic 10 as a crap conference. I’ve been reformed. The Musketeers will end the Huggins love fest and put an end to the stomach-turning frequency of his appearances on my television.

Bonus gambling nugget: The 7th seeded Mountaineers are favored over Xavier in this one. What does Vegas know that I don’t, other than the best places to go for legal prostitution?

(4) Washington State vs. (1) North Carolina (7:27, Charlotte, NC)

Man, I hope we get this one in the Nation’s Capital. Carolina and their extreme up-tempo against Wazzu and their stifling defense has the makings of a donnybrook. WSU’s given up an average of 40.5 points per game in the tourney; Carolina exceeded that amount in every half they played in the first two rounds. I think the Heels will go down before the Final Four, but I don’t think this is where it happens.

Bonus gambling nugget: Carolina is giving Wazzu 7 ½ in what is basically a home game. G:TB likes the Heels to cover, though not without some struggle. The over/under is somewhere around 143, and that’s a coin-flip.

(12) Western Kentucky vs. (1) UCLA (9:40, Phoenix, AZ)

The Hilltoppers played some real teams close this year, losing by 3 to Gonzaga and 6 to Tennessee, and beating Michigan and Nebraska (okay, semi-real teams), and they’ve got three strong senior guards in Courtney Lee, Ty Rogers, and Tyrone Braselton, so maybe they’ve got a puncher’s chance. Yeah, I can’t make it sound convincing, either.

Bonus gambling nugget: #1 seeds are 26-4 ATS when facing 12 seeds or higher in the Round of 16 in the history of the tournament. Bruins cruise past the 12 ½ point number. Also, I made up that statistic.

(3) Louisville vs. (2) Tennessee (9:57, Charlotte, NC)

Sadly, I’ll be fast asleep when this one ends, which is too bad, because it could be a terrific game. Lots of talking heads seem to be overlooking the Vols here after they played two consecutive indifferent games to open the tourney while Louisville has looked strong thus far. So I’ll be employing a little reverse-reverse psychology and backing the Cardinals. I said they’re a Final Four team at the beginning of the Dance, and I’m riding that horse until it hacks up a lung.

Bonus gambling nugget: Vegas seems to agree with me, making Louisville a 2-point favorite. That can’t bode well.

20 comments:

T.J. said...

Xavier will be ending Huggy Bear's run...

Geoff said...

That's a really terrible looking smore.

T.J. said...

I could go for some S'More Schnapps right now.

rob said...

it's a peeps'more. it looks absolutely disgusting.

T.J. said...

You're quoting Ween now?

Whitney said...

Once a day. Every day.

T.J. said...

Isn't that Dave's blog?

Mark said...

Rob's not the only person with thoughts on the tourney (plug). Though, he is the probably the only one who's worth listening to.

Oh yeah...Florida in the Final Four...again. So what, The NIT IS a tournament...

T.J. said...

I still can't believe Cuse fucking blew that game.

rob said...

i like mark's thoughts better. at least they're complete and cogent. nice work.

rob said...

i can't believe i forgot this, but how the hell does a major league franchise wind up with odalis perez as their opening day starter - in the first game at their brand new stadium, to boot. only jim bowden could find a way to fuck up the positive energy of a brand new park.

Dennis said...

My one year old has all those teams winning too. He made his choices by banging either the 1 Cup measurer on the floor for the higher (better) seed or the 1/4 Cup one for the lower (worse) seed.

I told him he was crazy for picking all the favorites.

rob said...

reading is fundamental, lad. whether you measure by seed (see louisville over tennessee) or by vegas line (see xavier over wvu), those aren't all favorites.

T.J. said...

He loves chalk.

Literally. The kid loves chalk.

T.J. said...

Ole Miss joing the Gators in the NIT final four...

And that was just a crushing loss for the Cavs.

T.J. said...

Nice Kid'n'Play look from Brandon Jennings.

Mark said...

Yeah, the high top fade immediately made Jennings my fave freshman next year...

Dennis said...

All details do is get in the way of my bits.

Michael Jack said...

point of clarification: Michigan was not a real team this year.

please continue.

T.J. said...

James Dolan is the dumbest fucking guy on Earth:

Donnie Walsh's expected arrival at Madison Square Garden might not guarantee Isiah Thomas' exit as New York Knicks coach.

The New York Daily News, citing an unnamed source, reported Thursday that owner James Dolan's preference is to keep Thomas on the sidelines, even after he hires a successor to Thomas to run the organization.