Gheorghe Loves Baseball

Billy Beane, noted author of Moneyball*, stealer of money from the pockets of grizzled, tobacco-stained baseball scouts, and corrupter of all that is righteous and stupidly anachronistic in the game, famously posits that the Major League Baseball postseason is essentially a complete crapshoot. Recent events bear that out in spades, with 6 of the last 10 World Series champions reaching the postseason via wild card entry, and the 83-win St. Louis Cardinals catching lightning in a bottle for three weeks last October.
* - probably not true

In spite of the obvious difficulties in accurately predicting the outcome of short series’ in a sport designed for the long haul, the blogosphere grows bloated today with all manner of learned opinions. Let it not be said, then, that Gheorghe: The Blog didn’t fulfill its duty as a card-carrying member of the sporting underworld. On with the show, this is it:

American League

Angels vs. Red Sox
In an effort to add to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s ongoing frustration over the continued existence of a Jewish state, Administration officials have forged a plan with MLB brass to ensure that Kevin Youkilis’ Judean roots are prominently featured in the Sox’ broadcasts. If the Sox don’t advance to the ALCS, then the terrorists have already won. Boston in 4.

Yankees vs. Indians
Somewhere, Joe Borowski is huddled in the fetal position underneath a locker room bench. Fortunately for Indians fans, Eric Wedge has no problem leaving him there. Stocky, corn-fed Midwestern girls are A-Rod’s primary weakness, and Cleveland’s got ‘em to spare. His distraction becomes New York’s downfall. Cleveland in 5.

Indians vs. Red Sox
In order to purify my soul from a karmic perspective, I have no choice but to pick the Indians to beat the Sox in 6 games. Fausto Carmona has already made his bargain with the devil – this pick is mine.

National League

Cubs vs. Diamondbacks
True story – several D-Backs regulars are not even old enough to drink celebratory champagne*. Crafty Cubbie skipper Lou Piniella has taken a page from the movie Gus, and hatched a plan to trick the youngsters into getting completely hammered for Game 1 of the series, irrevocably shifting the momentum to Chicago. Cubs in 4.
* - perhaps not

Rockies vs. Phillies
I have a finely tuned antipathy for the City of Brotherly Love, but I really admire Jimmy Rollins. What to do? Root for Rollins to have a terrific series and for Brett Myers to completely gack away Game 5 in an epically torturous manner and then get served papers for abusing his wife as he walks off the field? That’ll work. Rockies in 5.

Rockies vs. Cubs
C’mon, there’s no chance the upstart Rox can stand in the way of Piniella and his mission from God. It's 106 miles to Chicago, Lou’s got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and he’s wearing sunglasses. Hit it. Cubs in 5.

World Series

Cubs vs. Indians
We picked the Cubs back in July, and as the Tim Kurkjian/Buster Olney School of Prognostication stubbornly forbids modifications to months-old predictions even in the face of new information, we’re sticking with Chicago. Also, we think John Kerry will win the 2004 Presidential Election.

_____________
Whit-Note: Rob did indeed pick the Cubs to win it all back in July. At the time they were three games out in the NL Central and trailed both the Padres & D-backs in the early-on wild card standings. (Nice second half for the Dodgers.) Now . . . they're in it as much as anyone.

Yesterday I enjoyed a Williamsburg drunch with TJ, and since he's blogless for a few days, he asked me to point out some of the more prescient predictions that have appeared on G:TB this summer. Rob's Cubbie vision may be one; too early to tell, but the outlook looks better than most were calling for in July.

A second was Teej's anointment of Troy Tulowitzki as the NL Rookie of the Year a month or so ago. At the time, some called it a wasted effort, what with Ryan Braun's banner year in Milwaukee. After the last four weeks saw Tulo's continued ascent, Braun's countless fielding blunders, and the fortunes of each's team reach juxtaposed heights/depths, this may really be a race. Teej may have been onto something, as opposed to . . . you know.

As for me? Well, I predicted -- in colorful, utterly insulting fashion, no less -- that the Washington Nationals would have one of the worst baseball teams in recent league history. They finished at a relatively respectable 73-89. There were eight teams with worse records, and most significantly, they single-handedly eliminated my New York Mets from postseason contention. If ever there were karmic retribution in the blogosphere, this was it. A terrible underestimation on my part, but like Willie Randolph, my inner fire is still burning and I'll be back next year.