Thursday, October 11, 2007

Le Anne Schreiber Has a Posse

The rage is general all over the land of sport. Fans, not to mention coaches and athletes, are sick and tired of being subjected to a relentless media onslaught of opinion that is simultaneously overheated and half-baked. Unfortunately, in a kind of sports Stockholm syndrome, many of them have learned to imitate the rhetorical belligerence of the media masters they resent.
The quote above comes from ESPN Ombudsman Le Anne Schreiber's most recent column, a wide-ranging excoriation of the Worldwide Leader's opinion-based shrillery, and by extension, of the entire American sporting community. For Gheorghe's money, Ms. Schreiber is the best observer of the modern sporting culture going at the moment. We might even have a little bit of a crush on her, if we weren't all exceedingly happily married.

As our mission statement...um...states, G:TB is dedicated to the premise that life would be better if we all took ourselves less seriously. We've been dismayed over the past several years to watch the sporting landscape devolve into a miasma of screaming matches between meathead ex-jocks and overcompensating "journalists" about the perceived and/or contrived peccadillos of overpaid nouveax gladiators. And, as Ms. Schreiber notes with perfect symbolism, we've watched our fellow fans get sucked into the morass to the point where the only way to be heard above the rush of the lemmings is to ratchet the snarky arrogance to jet-engine decibels. And we don't exempt ourselves from this number - even as we try hard to be more silly than cynical, we've failed on more occasions than we'd care to admit.

The most poisonous aspect of the current sporting environment is that the games themselves don't matter any more. Or, more accurately, they only serve as vehicles for whatever ratings-driven controversy ESPN and FOX and the rest choose to push this week. Look no further than this week's potentially terrific New England/Dallas contest. It's predictably become T.O. versus Randy Moss, stoked to be sure by the Dallas' wideout's pathology, but not without ESPN's willing complicity. And ours.

According to ESPN.com, Ms. Schreiber's tenure as Ombudsman is a two-year gig. A smart media outlet with a little bit of cash and a willingness to roll the dice and swim against the tide would snap her up the instant she became a free agent and give her free reign to design a new sports media model. As you may have noticed, G:TB's succumbed to the almighty dollar and begun accepting advertisements. Shouldn't take you too long to put two and two together.

You've got our number, Le Anne. We look forward to hearing from you. The music we make together could be beautiful.

15 comments:

Whitney said...

The condescension is just so typical from those hack writers and mediocre publications. I mean . . . honestly.

Whitney said...

On a (tiny bit) more serious note, it's too bad Calvin & Hobbes has been reduced to the singular image of Calvin urinating on various individuals, NASCAR numbers, political party emblems, etc. It was, in fact, one of the least trite comic strips out there in its time.

Greg said...

Why is it just the "Peeing Calvin"? Can't we see Hobbes taking a dump on something? Maybe give him a newspaper to read while he's doing it?

Eric (Extra P.) said...

Now that you guys have started accepting ads, you can probably hire LeAnn when her option is up. That would be awesome.

I'd like to know why peeing Calvin is even countenanced by whoever owns his rights. Those things annoy me just like "No Fear" stickers. Only an idiot can claim not to have fear, and if you have none, what's to brag about? Now, being scared shitless and overcoming it to roll to victory, that's impressive.

Whitney said...

True, very true, but if we're going to point out the idiocy of bumper stickers, I think maybe we start with classics like "I Brake for Antique Shops," "Insured by Smith & Wesson," "My Boss Is a Jewish Carpenter," "I Love My French Poodle," etc.

I did see one the other day that made me laugh, if only for the non sequitur randomness of it: "Fat People Are Hard to Kidnap"

And yeah, the girl in the driver's seat was hefty.

Jerry said...

The one thing we've learned is that Calvin has a pretty decent hose on him.

And I never thought I could like someone names "Le Anne" so much.

Whitney said...

As if on cue, here are the Top Stories on ESPN.com right now. Not too many actual sports events to cover today, apparently:

* Wade Phillips denies saying Patriots' titles 'tainted'
* Judge's ruling buys Broncos' Henry more time
* Francis hurls Rockies to Game 1 win over D-backs
* Late TD pass caps Wake's win vs. No. 21 FSU | ESPN Video
* Wren new Braves GM; Schuerholz prez | Kreidler
* Lakers' Buss willing to field offers for Bryant | ESPN Video
* Franchione rebuked by A&M but will remain coach
* Reports: Vikings teammates James, Taylor in fight
* MSG crowd quiet as Knicks rip Maccabi | Sheridan
* Yanks put off Torre talks | Clemens to come back?

rob said...

think that's bad? go look at awful announcing's preview of this weekend's sunday nfl coundown:

http://awfulannouncing.com/

you can't make this crap up.

Jerry said...

That video of Buss fielding trade offers sounds pretty awesome.

Mark said...

I imagine it being some thing like this:

Buss sitting in a high backed wicker chair. He's half drunk and sipping some cognac. He's flanked by a couple of twenty something Barbie dolls with his shirt unbuttoned halfway down his chest revealing numerous gold chains and way too much chest hair. He's lighting a cigar with $100 bills and screaming into a rotary phone, "Alright, Samuel Dalembert, Andre Iguodala and Pat Croce's toupeau...throw in Shavlik Randolph and its a deal."

rob said...

if you want to feel smarter than a bunch of interweb morons, go to edsbs, read the notre dame "guest" columnist, and then read the comments. orson swindle remains a genius.

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=3982

T.J. said...

Stephen Drew, you are the Bama of the Week...Week...Week.

And the Colorado Rockies are insane right now.

T.J. said...

43-year-old Vinny Testaverde yesterday:
20 of 33 for 206 yards and a TD, Panthers beat Cardinals 25-10

Wow.

T.J. said...

I didn't know Greg was practicing dentistry in his free time:

WOODLAND, Calif. (AP) - A dentist accused of fondling the breasts of 27 female patients is trying to keep his dental license by arguing that chest massages are an appropriate procedure in certain cases.

T.J. said...

The Reds think Dusty Baker is the best option out there to manage their team? Really?