How's that new guy working out for ya?

In the aftermath of a NFL weekend that once again proved Week 1 analysis is virtually useless (at least when it comes from me), I thought I'd get back on the horse and take a crack at this again, but this time focus on Year 1 for the new coaches in new places. By my count, we've got 7 newbies enjoying various degrees of success (or, in two cases, an amazing amount of distress). Let's take a look.

Mike Tomlin, Pittsburgh Steelers - Sure, it's a 2 game sample, and those two games happened to be the Browns and Bills, but Tomlin has the Steelers firing on all cylinders. Dr. Z and Jerry must be impressed by the line play on both sides of the ball for Pittsburgh - Roethlisberger has barely been touched in two games, Willie Parker has run wild (117 yds/game) and the opposing QBs in Weeks 1 and 2 (poor Charlie Frye and J.P. Losman yesterday) have been beaten senseless (10 sacks, 3 fumbles, 2 picks). Tomlin is one of two unbeatens on this list, but of course, he's getting the nod from the G:TB crew as the most impressive New Guy so far. Tribe Pride Baby.

Ken Whisenhunt, Arizona Cardinals - Yep, Kenny Whiz has Will Leitch's Buzzsaw at 1-1, but the wins should actually be reversed. The Cards gave last week's game away with an awful fumble, but in a bit of football karma they were given the game yesterday when Matt Hasslebeck channeled Rex Grossman and laid the ball on the ground after a comically botched hand-off attempt. Any way you slice it, though, Ken and new line coach Russ Grimm have Arizona playing tough and physical up front (perhaps "The Steeler Way" is looking for a retirement home in Sun City West?), and Edgerrin James is excelling behind a O-line that has been the laughingstock of the league for years. In that division, anything can happen, and based on the first two week, anything will happen.

Bobby Petrino, Atlanta Falcons - Bobby wishes he were still in the Big East (well, after Saturday night, maybe not). When the state of your team is dependent on the weekly performance of Chopsticks Harrington you are eternally screwed. I prematurely called the Browns the worst team in football last week, so I don't want to get ahead of myself here, but Petrino's boys better do something soon on the offensive end or they are in for a loooooong campaign. The Falcons have scored a whopping 10 points in 2 games. Tarvaris Jackson (he of the 4 INTs yesterday) beat them in Week 1. I said it before the season started and I'll say it again - Brian Brohm might want to start looking at Buckhead properties now.

Norv Turner, San Diego Chargers - It would be so easy to crush Norv for the Chargers' lackluster start, and sure, he deserves a lot of blame as the head dog, but can we get some accountability from the players? The offensive line has been abused by the Bears and Pats. Philip Rivers looks like he's doing the Riverdance in the pocket. Mr. Tomlinson, how about less bitching/whining in the media and more on-field performing? The defense held its own against the Bears, but come on, that Bears offense is a joke. Tom Brady tore the SD defense to shreds last night. Norv is in serious trouble already, and don't think the Chargers are going to walk all over Green Bay in Week 3 at Lambeau. It's neck and neck with Petrino for worst performance on this list, but the edge has to go to Norv because he has so many more quality players than Bobby. In fact, fuck blaming the players - Norv, you are a horrible leader of men and simply cannot get the job done as a head coach. That is all, let's just move on.

Cam Cameron, Miami Dolphins - An ugly 3 point loss to the Skins in Week 1 and an even uglier Week 2 loss at home to Tony Romo and the Cowboys. Hitching your wagon to Trent Green ain't as awful as being tied to the anchor that is Joey Harrington, but Cameron better hope Green eliminates the mistakes in Week 3. The running game seems non-existent, so much so that I think the Dolphins should welcome back Sticky Icky Williams with open arms. That defense can hold its own against middling teams (like the Skins), but look what Romo, T.O. and Marion Barber did yesterday. We are only 3 weeks and an 0-5 start away from Jason Taylor's media blow-up pitting defense vs. offense (and never mind the Ted Ginn vs. Brady Quinn issue that is bound to resurface). Cameron has winnable games coming up - he better notch his first NFL win soon before this thing spirals out of control.

Wade Phillips, Dallas Cowboys - 2 and 0 in Big D is a big deal, especially since they're doing it with the most potent offense in the league (82 points), rather than with a defense that Wade was supposed to mold after his successful Chargers run. Nowhere to go but up on the defensive side of the ball, and whether Wade lets Jason Garrett run the whole show on the offensive side or not, to the victor go the spoils, so I'll throw some love his way. The Cowboys get the Bears this week, so I think we'll get a good sense of where they truly are offensively, and given Rex Grossman's penchant for "no purchase required" football giveaways this might be the Dallas D's breakout game.

Lane Kiffin, Oakland Raiders - Yes, they're 0-2, but they're a competitive 0-2 and that is a major step up for this franchise. It appears the defense will still be above average, though giving up 36 point to the Lions in week 1 is scary. The biggest difference of course is the upgrade from last year's "Bed and Breakfast" offense to Kiffin's attack. The Raiders scored 21 in Week 1 and 20 yesterday - they hit the 20 point mark only 4 times total in all of 2006. They have already thrown 3 TD passes - they had 7 TOTAL in 2006 (seriously, can that be right?). Kiffin has revived Lamont Jordan's career and made Josh McKown look like a real pro QB (at least for the first two weeks...I know, it's very early). They might've even stolen a win yesterday if Mike Shanahan wasn't so good at being so sneaky. And if Sebastian Janikowski didn't get so god damn flustered after that timeout.