Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Ms. Dukes, your time to live has been set to 69 Days

After admitting to marijuana use under oath Monday during divorce proceedings, Elijah Dukes has been ordered by a judge to take random drugs tests.

Dukes' wife testified that he smokes marijuana daily and "drinks to the point of passing out." According to the Tampa Tribune, she also opined that "his aggressive behavior is caused by steroid use," but said that she's never seen him use or admit to using steroids.

I think I speak for most of G:TB when I say this is going to end badly for her.

As a follow-up, I think a trade for Elijah Dukes is impossible to pass up now, Jimmy boy. In the spirit of atonement and second chances, I think you - nay, the taxpayers of this city - owe it to Elijah to bring him in with open arms. Maestro, queue the Journey if you please....

12 comments:

T.J. said...

When did Dennis become Elijah's agent?

T.J. said...

Um, has Elijah scared away our handful of readers?

Dennis said...

Penis.

Geoff said...

I'm here...but I have nothing interesting to say...

T.J. said...

Poop.

Dennis said...

The penis game always works...

T.J. said...

Wow, really?

The Inquirer's Stephen A. Smith is being considered to fill Dan Patrick's national ESPN radio show after Patrick leaves on Aug. 17.

Mark said...

Yes, really, you racist.

WHAT? DON'T YOU THINK A BLACK MAN IS INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO HOST HIS OWN SYNDICATED RADIO SHOW? I LOVE CHEEZ DOODLES.

T.J. said...

7 back in the loss column...

Hi Rob!

rob said...

6, actually, as you've pretty much won that suspended game with the O's. i'll remember your words, store them deep in the vault, and remind you of them when the time comes.

T.J. said...

Sounds good to me...and I think Wake fell behind Clemens in all categories last night.

rob said...

yeah, wake's on the list.