But it's timely, pertinent, and environmentally friendly. How often in the last few years has Gheorghe: The Blog been able to boast such a post?
Tonight and tomorrow brings us the first, and in all likelihood the last, series of international rock concerts they're calling "Live Earth." After a flurry of "Aid"-driven monikers in the 80's (Band Aid, Live Aid, Farm Aid -- none of which benefited AIDS victims), the collective creative minds behind the rock-for-charity shows have inexplicably switched over to the "Live" labels.
Undoubtedly you recall my words of wisdom about Live 8. Welcome to Live Earth. ("Earth Aid" would have been far more appropriate, but so very 1980's.)Live Earth comes to you not from Bob Geldof (and how dare you assume so, squawks Sir Bob from his Ethiopian grass hut), but from Al Gore and . . . a bunch of the same people who do all of these things. The thought behind Live Earth is to raise awareness about global environmental issues via a series of rock concerts. You know, rock concerts which will take musicians, their crews, and their gear to far-off locales (most traveling on gas-guzzling airplanes) to rock out for the cause (at a bazillion volts of electricity). I can speak in my condescending tone about this matter, both because (a) yes, it's my normal manner of speaking, and (b) I took a college course called, coincidentally, Global Environmental Issues. (Scored an A, by the way, which . . . well, if you were one of my 10 or 12 classmates, you're rarer than the handful of sportswriters who witnessed Douglas knock out Tyson just a few years prior.)
So what's Live Earth's game plan? Well, they're back to the eight concerts around the globe, just like Live 8. I still think Philly vs. Wembley was/is the classic way of jam-packing the very best shows thinkable, but let's face it: six extra stadiums full of ticket-buyers sure help revenues for the cause.
And when I say eight, of course, I mean 10. Technically, there is an extra pair of shows, one at a Buddhist temple in Japan and one at a research station in Antarctica, to round out all seven continents. The Antarctic show consists of one band, Nunatak: "a five-person indie rock band, part of a science team investigating climate change and evolutionary biology on the Antarctic Peninsula." Probably geekier than They Might Be Giants, not as geeky as Devo, and if they sound anything close to either, gotta be worth a listen, right?
Who's playing? Well, let me cull out the worthless crap acts in my inimitable rock snob fashion and give you the straight scoop. In chronological order from the start of the concert, it goes a little something like this:
Sydney, Australia (9:10 PM tonight)
Crowded House
Jack Johnson
Wolfmother
(Peter Garrett's a presenter; it'd be nice if he and his mates were playing, and you never know)
Tokyo, Japan (11:00 PM tonight)
Linkin Park
(domo aregato, but no domo aregato, Tokyo)
Shanghai, China (7:00 AM tomorrow)
nothing, not a damn thing you really want to hear... or at least that you've heard of
Hamburg, Germany (8:00 AM tomorrow)
Chris Cornell
Snoop Dogg
Cat Stevens
(no chance of a group medley finale)
London, England (8:30 AM tomorrow)
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Madonna
Beastie Boys
Bloc Party
Duran Duran
Snow Patrol
Keane
Metallica
David Gray
Foo Fighters
Genesis
Spinal Tap
(and some felchy former boy-banders and dreck, but make no mistake, this here's the marquee batch)
Johannesburg, South Africa (12:00 PM tomorrow)
UB40
Joss Stone (all right, but I wanted to take the pressure off my boys in UB40 a tad)
East Rutherford, New Jersey (2:30 PM tomorrow)
(Yeah, Philly got dumped like yesterday's pizza steaks; North Jersey wins again)
The Police
Dave Matthews Band
Bon Jovi
Fall Out Boy
Smashing Pumpkins
Melissa Etheridge
Kanye West
John Mayer
KT Tunstall
Roger Waters
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (3:00 PM tomorrow)
Lenny Kravitz
Macy Gray
Pharrell Williams (only gets a nod here because he's from VA Beach)
How can you hear the music? If you have either XM or Sirius Satellite Radio, they are dedicating a series of channels to playing the broadcast. Not sure about that dinosaur called FM Radio, but chances are they'll be too busy playing the latest Gwen Stefani song over and over to bother.
How can you see the shows? While looks can be deceiving, it looks as though there will be a marked increase in availability and (we hope) production from the Live 8 pants-wetting on MTV. In increasing order of total airtime:
(All times are on Saturday 7/7 and GMT -4; for that bastion of G:TB readers outside The States, you're on you're own)
NBC: 8-11 PM
CNBC: 7 PM - 1 AM
MSNBC: supposedly airing some, but unlisted currently
The Bravo Channel: 9 AM - 2 AM Sun
Sundance Channel: 4 AM - 2 AM Sun
Universal HD: 4 AM - 2 AM Sun
Seems like a ton of coverage; in a perfect world, there'd be multiple feeds for these multiple networks and a choice of what to watch, but the reality is that I'll probably get stuck watching "The 12 Girls Band" emanate their lovely riffs from Shanghai while the Chilis are torching Wembley. Still . . . so much better than handing MTV the reins.
Any highlights or momentous events? Well, the bread-and-butter of these rock phenomena have, of course, been the long-awaited, crowd-pleasing reunions of old bandmates. Live Aid had Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, CSNY, and, to a lesser degree, The Who. (Re-formations for The Who happen just slightly less often than colonoscopies for these guys.) Farm Aid saw a regrouped Steppenwolf. (What? That counts.) And Live 8 was really only noteworthy for the actually-momentous Pink Floyd hatchet-burying.
So who's letting bygones be bygones for Live Earth? Hmm. Though there is always the chance of a game-day surprise, it appears that The Police are the best qualifier, though since they've been
touring together all summer, it doesn't have that one-off, glorious "I saw it when it happened" kind of feel to it. That said, if you're like me and haven't had the chance to plunk down several hundred bucks to go see these cats take us back 25 years, then this is a big draw.Undercard re-formings include Smashing Pumpkins (I can hear Rob groan now), and Genesis. A rousing rendition of "Zero" or anything in the Abacab era will surely suck me in, but the "in the moment" appeal of either of these performances isn't there. And with the one and only "punk rock warlord" having passed on nearly five years ago, the greatest reunion I could ever hope for can't happen (though I will go see "The Future Is Unwritten" with anyone anytime if it ever hits screens in this country), so this is what we're left with for Live Earth.
So what's the real purpose of Live Earth? A good question. Billing itself as "The Concerts for a Climate in Crisis," its self-stated goal is "to raise awareness about global warming." As we know, the former Veep achieved great strides in this realm with his An Inconvenient Truth. I guess there are some who feel the audience of that documentary was mostly
Baby Boomers who only voted Republican so they could keep their C-Class Benz and might be ripe for a guilt complex, so now it's time to hit the teenagers, college nothings, and music junkies -- most of whom already are keenly aware of the planet's woes, and most of whom can't do much about it.Because let's face it, a world where the citizens are flushing less and recycling more, turning off light bulbs and turning onto discussions about conservation is a worthy vision, but until the world's governments alter their focus and the largest businesses -- especially the energy corporations and vehicle manufacturers -- start being compensated to make massive changes, not much of that will matter. And that's where Live Earth may make its dent, by recruiting sponsorships from and drawing attention to the big guys trying to go green. And the more international attention it engenders, the more effective it may be. Maybe someday, these massive efforts might even convince our Vice President that global warming actually exists. (Don't you feel like he's one more scotch away from barking, "And another thing -- the Holocaust? Soooo not convinced.") Otherwise, Live Earth will simply be what Bob Geldof labeled it: "an enormous pop concert or the umpteenth time that, say, Madonna or Coldplay get up on stage."
So, do your part by watching the show . . . on your big-screen, power-sucking TV. I don't know, reconcile it if you can and just enjoy the music. If you can.
* * * *
Whitneypedia Aside: Among the array of benefit concerts over the years, both the ones I delved into in my initial entry and the ones I didn't (Concert for Bangladesh, Farm Aid, etc), there is one piece of trivia I think is worth dredging up. In 1979, a handful of concerts were played in London to raise funds for Cambodian refugees after Pol Pot did his thing. (Speaking of Mr. Pot, for one of the most amusing mid-song chants in rock history, dust off the Dead Kennedys' "Holiday in Cambodia." But I digress.) Anyway, Queen, Elvis Costello, The Pretenders, The Who (recently re-formed), and especially The Clash rocked out at the Hammersmith Odeon for several nights for the
cause -- which they called the Concerts for the People of Kampuchea. But most curious was the pair of strange bedfellows who organized the affair . . . Paul McCartney and Kurt Waldheim. Yep, the moptop and the Nazi. The Fab Four and the National Socialist Party. Sounds like an 80's screwball comedy in the making, right? Hilarity ensues.In truth, the rumors (which came damn near fact) about Waldheim's tenure as a Nazi officer and blind eye to genocide didn't come to light until five or six years later, when he ran for President of Austria. (And got elected! Gotta feel for the Austrians -- they were willing to do anything to take the world's attention off Falco.) At the time, Waldheim was the U.N.'s Secretary-General, and perhaps in a reparations-style change of heart, he helped Paul put on the shows. I just can't help thinking that behind closed doors, he was one scotch away from jeering, "Khmer Rouge?? Please. They'd be a remote outstation of the Third Reich. Now those were atrocities."
So, there's a little nugget for you, something "trivial" in every sense of the word.
Enjoy Live Earth, you're welcome for the info, and see you next time at Whitneypedia, your one-stop shopping for inane drivel about charitable rock & roll (apparently).
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69 comments:
I need to print this out for later reading...
Put it with the other one. And then get it bound. And copyrighted. And then sell it. And then give me the nickels.
G:TB is just printing it's own money these days...
or not.
oh, we're printing our own money, it's just that we're printing lira, so it takes like 40 billion to equal $1.
and crowded house is way more interesting as a reunion than genesis. new album out tuesday.
Point taken, and I agree. I guess they fall into The Police category where they've been back together for a spell now.
I'll be Tivoing the 4:00 AM start in hopes they get some airtime.
wjfk in dc just dropped 'the o'reilly factor' in favor of 'the jim rome show'. somewhere, whitney's brainpan is melting.
If they'd taken Riggo off for Rome, it'd be an instantaneous migraine. As it is, it's not much of a net loss.
Still ridiculous, of course.
That's like dropping "According to Jim" to pick up "Yes Dear".
different station, whit.
i was getting at the idea that you'd have a hard time defining the lesser of those two particular evils.
whitney doesn't hate many things, but he makes an exception for jim rome. quite amuses me.
Jim Rome is very easy to hate.
Ah, I see. And yes, I'm not sure why Jim Rome irks me to such a high degree, but he does. He really, really does.
if midnight oil take the stage, you need to call me.
Could it be because Rome is older than you or Rob yet insists on calling people "dog" and letting us know he's "out"? That's enough for me.
Throw that clone a vine...
Phil Mushnick absolutely crushes the Yankees radio team today in the Post (John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman)...and he is 100% spot-on in his hatchet job.
Is Cat Stevens going by "Cat Stevens" again? He dropped the Mohammed Bombsalot-type moniker?
strong effort from john daly at the tiger woods invitational today. probably the result of an even stronger effort in georgetown last night.
Whitneypedia is destined for greatness, but I have a Q: I see Bon Jovi will be playing in Jersey. When were they appointed High Rock Guardians of Freedom? I fear if I crack on them, Triumph style, I'll be jailed for treason.
And as for Sterling and Waldman? Though I wonder which one is the man, the worst part is that I've accidentally bitten down on a chicken bone and the grinding of my molars sounded better.
Of their latest album:
"Artistic freedom made this record possible," says Jon Bon Jovi. "Musical freedom to explore--and emotional freedom to express what was in our hearts."
The result of that freedom is Lost Highway, an album Jon describes as "a Bon Jovi record influenced by Nashville."
Three sentences, four uses of the word "freedom." Sounds like someone's bucking for a Presidential badge a la Elvis & Nixon. I guess that qualifies them.
And as much as I enjoy me some "Wanted Dead or Alive," making fun of Bon Jovi is a Constitutional right, or it will be in the secessionist state I am forming.
whitland?
whitway?
See...this is what happens when you write about Live Earth...fucking hippies and their carbon footprint maps.
I was a little disappointed not to see actual footprints.
But rest assured, Whitneyland will have very few carbons produced. In fact, I think we're going to do away with mimeographing entirely.
cartons, well that's a different story altogether.
cartons, well that's a different story...
bravo
I'd be in London for sure if there was a choice. In actuality, I think festivals like these suck. The bands typically sound like crap since there are no acoustics and they play super short hit-filled sets.
Let's just say I won't be rushing down to the Mall for this:
Al Gore announced Friday a surprise Live Earth concert in Washington, foiling Senate Republicans who blocked Gore's attempt to bring his global warming extravaganza to the grounds of the U.S. Capitol.
The former vice president said the all-day "Mother Earth" concert would be held on the National Mall at the National Museum of the American Indian—about two blocks from the Capitol—as part of Saturday's concert series focused on climate change. The headliners are Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.
We've got Crowded House from Sydney and Shakira from a soggy Hamburg right now...one sounds OK, and the other sounds rather awful but is shaking her ass on stage in wet clothing. Tough call...
Oh, and I can already tell these Live Earth short films are going to drive me fucking nuts.
My Tivo receiver really let me down. All static, needed a quick restart, got nothing from 4 AM to 8:30 AM.
We're going to have a little sit-down later, just the receiver and me, and talk about what went wrong and how these errors won't be repeated.
Did catch some Crowded House, now watching a decrepit-looking but good-sounding Genesis from London.
And I did get stuck watching the 12 Girls Band, oddly enough.
Oh, and over on Bravo we have a Duff sighting! Last spotted getting snubbed for Best Supporting Actress for the greatest comedy ever filmed, she's back to a role similar to her MTV days.
And God, I hope she's pregnant.
Um, about Duff - I said the same thing a few minutes ago and the lady of the house reminded me Duff almost died recently from some messed up virus or something...so I stopped mocking her (Duff that is, not the lady of the house).
Where's Greg when you need him:
"Umbrella...ella...ella...ella..."
Thank you Wikipedia:
Duffy was leading a relatively carefree youth in the heyday of her modeling career, partying with movie star friends such as George Clooney, when in 1995 she was diagnosed with the relatively rare disease sarcoidosis. In her case, this affected her brain (neurosarcoidosis), leaving her partially paralysed. She has so far battled it with a sense of humor, as is evident from her 2000 autobiography Model Patient: My Life As an Incurable Wise-Ass. She has explained, "I tried to write a book not for sick people, but for people with a sick sense of humor ... [this] is not a typical book about illness."
I could do without Snow Patrol and their variation of Whiny Rock...
Okay, so I am jackass for even mentioning her physical appearance.
So nice to see the DC stage look like it was set up by the apathetic illegals from my works' night crew.
Wow, that DC stage did certainly have a grass-roots feel to it. With Al Gore's pit stains and Garth not singing into the mic, very organic.
Whoa. Weirdest moment of the day so far. Snoop Dogg rapping to a bunch of pasty Germans, who seem to be bopping along without missing a beat... although they look a little disoriented and delirious from the heat and being jammed against the stage.
Speaking of which, if folks get trampled to death at Live Earth, does that count as helping the environment? Technically, I think you'd have to say it does.
Can I pick the people? If so, I choose these so-called "Black Eyed Peas".
Fergie was once a man, right? And that other guy is Wyclef's stunt double?
I find this David Gray gentleman annoying.
Garth, you're a professional, speak into the microphone...and for god's sake, sing into the microphone. Jesus man, come on, you're ruining this for Al...
Okay, right after I called for more rock and roll, this soul duet on Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology) comes on... and it's a winner. I concede.
hi everybody!
i really dug the david gray performance.
repeat performance of kiedis and his muumuu on sundance.
I prefer Dobie Gray...
from katy: "hey, there's a grown-up lady on a man's head"
can't wait 'til she goes to her first rock show.
man, whit, you weren't kidding about the chilis. those mofos bring it every time.
So, this "Kenna" guy/band leading off at the Meadowlands locale - is he/they more like Double A ball or Independent League ball?
Enrique Iglesias is on for waaaay too long. Someone get a hook.
Or an "earth-friendly" weapon.
Oh, yeah. They should have "Enrique Iglesias - Live from the edge of one of those melting icebergs!"
Hey, a Kevin Bacon sighting! I can get from Kevin Bacon to the No Nukes Concert in three jumps.
the lead singer of any given sunday reminds me of andre from the first real world. reigndance, baby.
that's not a compliment.
taking back sunday. whatever.
Repeating this from an earlier conversation, but twice now Metallica has impressed -- for aging metalheads who alienated pretty much everyone in their fan base over the years.
Especially "Enter Sandman." I've only seen a better live version at a Ween show.
I'm not sure what was worse - Alicia Keys shouting too much in that duet, or Alicia Keys "acting" in Smokin' Aces.
Can they divert a couple of the scientists working to save the globe to spend a little time figuring out how to make live hip-hop music not utterly suck compared to its studio counterpart? The genre simply doesn't translate to a stadium.
Finally caught some Nunatak, the scientists in Antarctica. They have a decidedly Camper Van feel to them, with the violin-garage rock thing.
And like I told the dudes, if they really wanted to make a statement about global warming, they'd wear shorts.
James Blunt, the only guy who can make a Cat Stevens song softer.
joss stone. damn.
Congratulations on successfully blogging Live Earth. You are truly doing the Lord's work. I can only imagine how bored you guys must have been today.
Me, I was rivited by NBA Summer League action (Oden fouled out, remember 10 fouls in Summer League) in about 20 minutes of action. Oh, and now I'm watching the replay of the 97 UF-FSU game, which never gets old. An unbelievable amount of talent in this game. I won't bore you with all the names but take a look at the rosters form this game some time.
there's some excellent irony in being mocked for being bored by a guy watching a 10 year-old football game.
and what the hell was kanye west doing onstage with the police?
Rob, as G:TB's #1 Police fan, what'd you think of the show? My impression was that it was very cool to see them playing together, but that 20+ years is a long time apart, Sting's voice seemed shot, and he seemed too prone to jazzing up what was brilliant punk/new wave/reggae back in the day. Branford Marsalis isn't out there with you, Sumner. Let it rock.
That was kind of my point Rob. I mean, how exciting could my day have been if I was watching Summer League games AND a 10 year old football game?
I guess I should've blogged the game's highlights for you.
In actual meaningful (and live) sports action, the Wimbledon Men's final was a hell of a match. Much more entertaining than the French final.
In the interest of pummeling this dead horse, here is a bit of the commentary whilst the minds at G:TB took in Live Earth Saturday:
Phil Collins looks surprisingly well-preserved for his age. Mike Rutherford... not so much.
Duran Duran was better today than they were at Live Aid, when Simon Le Bon was mocked for a very bad high note. Planet Earth is a money choice.
is dave matthews afraid to look directly into a camera?
He's either stoned or not that bright.
Give the tiny guy two prizes.
Anyone got any good guesses as to what Anthony Kiedis is wearing?
whatever it is, it's "earth-friendly"... stupid hippies taking over the world with the tires on stage and chairs made of bamboo
These hippies are saving your grandchildren. Permit them their peculiarities.
As long as they find me some good earth products in the next 10 days
If global warming were wiping out the world's supply of doob, you'd be a presenter at this show.
hell, i'd be geldorf, putting ON this show
Now which guy up in the Muppet Show balcony was Geldorf?
By the way, the Chilis never fail to deliver. They should do this for a living or something.
and i'm just gonna say it, i'm thoroughly enjoying this live earth spectacle right now... not so much that it's good, just that it's fun to laugh at
time to start drinking
Word. Nothing puts you in a bad light with the neighborhood like having a cold one in your hand when someone comes to pick up their daughter from a play date.
This ad makes me all teary.
Garth, you're a professional, speak into the microphone... and for god's sake, sing into the microphone. Jesus man, come on, you're ruining this for Al!
Keith Urban doesn't suck - again, who knew?
Holy crap. Great Stones cover; more impressed by his work here than hers.
How does Hetfield get away with dropping an unedited s-bomb (that my daughter heard) but Ludicris gets bleeped?
Blatant wheelhousism.
Trying very hard not to laugh at what's on Sundance right now. Oof. The American Indian blues band. Wanted to think it was cool, but it was truly terrible.
About an hour ago they were showing highlights from Shanghai. A band came on and my daughter said, "Hey, 12 Girls!". Needless to say, I was a bit flabbergasted.
Whoa! Anybody just catch that shot? Bon Jovi bikini babes rubbing lotion on each other?
ok, so for now bravo is our highlights how, as ive now seen linking park twice before the bravo cut...and yes, i have a soft spot for linkin park, they kinda rock (yeah, yeah, Beavis, yeah)
Quick question that just occurred to me, Teej - are you the same age as Beavis?
um, how old is beavis?
Hmmm. I'd say he was about 14 or 15 in 1993.
i was 17 in 93
So you were Todd...
UniHD/Sundance needs to brings something good now. No more sad singer songwriters, tribal beats, or urban soul. Gimme gimme rock and roll.
Enrique blows.
KT Tunstall's wailing, but I'm struggling with the gold tights.
Those are awful. But they give it a Live Aid feel.
And I just figured out why the gold tights on KT. She's Scottish -- classically bad dressers up there.
they said she was british...did they lie to me?
Lemme explain this, Teej. The United Kingdom, or "Great Britain," consists of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland. They are all British. And I am your king.
The reason people like our buddy in N. Ireland bomb English buses is because they want to be freed from British rule. Kind of a big deal over there.
Big bottom with all the bass players is inspired.
Nunatak!!
This Beasties set -- Notable exception to the earlier rap theorem.
Lord help me, but Kelly Clarkson's really good. [Rob said this]
From all the press I'm reading, we might be the only three guys who paid any attention to this thing.
And British airport folks held James Hetfield at the airport on his way into the show Thursday, because of his "Taliban-like" beard. Seriously.
How many pasty, blond Talibanians are there?
Speaking of such matters, I was just in the Post Office and saw a package addressed to (the real) Pat Robertson on the counter. I scurried out all quick-like, just in case it was someone doing (the real) God's will.
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