Channeling Larry King (again)

"Hello Dallas, you're on"...Gee, I am absolutely shocked and dismayed that a Dallas Cowboy was cut for drug-related reasons. I don't even have a joke here. The real joke is Vinny Testaverde starting for Dallas at age 40. Trust me people, the last time Vinny started, in 1999, he blew his Achilles out faster than I left the theater during L.A. Story (yeah, talking billboards along an L.A. freeway are a great plot vehicle). Get ready for the Tony Romo "Cop" era in Big D (forgive me, I have Chris Berman on the brain, as he completely ruined a fantastic baseball game for me last night - I haven't settled down enough to discuss this).

"Bristol, what do you have"...So ESPN is going to do Classic SportsCenter starting this week. What kills me is I want to like this idea. I really do. Craig Kilborn was an absolute fav of mine, and chumps like John Anderson and Steve Berthiaume (yes, I actually looked up his name so I had the spelling right) should be sending significant portions of their paycheck to him for stealing his schtick. Kilborn was Vince Vaughn in Swingers - always own, always dominating the screen, always making you want more. These days, all Mike Hall makes me want to do is kick myself in the balls.

"From across the pond, Cologne, Germany"...This may seem like I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but I took some shots at Team USA before a certain espn.com columnist wrote a much better article expressing much of what the international basketball community knows - this team is awful. Beating Team Dirk yesterday on a ridiculous 30 footer by AI does nothing to change that. I haven't seen a team this ready to fold since the pre-Hansons Charleston Chiefs.

And finally, I'm sure the question on all readers' minds (yes, there are no readers I know, I write this and than my "reader" Tyler Durden tells me it was fantastic) is why so many parentheses (sp?)? Hell, I don't know, would you prefer dashes and semicolons? Or Bartolo Colons? (Ouch, that was awful, I know, sorry)