Gheorghasbord: Spanning the Globe

In which I chronicle various oddities in an increasingly futile effort to block out the immensely insane fuckery loosed upon the land.

Did you know that Phil Hartman was an accomplished album cover designer? Neither did I. Freelance arts writer Conor Herbert recently wrote a detailed piece examining Hartman's pre-fame, indeed pre-comedy work as a graphic designer. Hartman designed more than 40 covers, including this one from Poco.

In news of an entirely different sort, connected to Hartman only via Canada, here's a headline you might enjoy:

Man arrested for driving toy Barbie Jeep on northern B.C. street

It was 9:00 am in Prince George, British Columbia on Friday, September 8, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were in no mood for shenanigans. When they got word of a grown-ass man driving down the road in a pink Barbie Jeep, they swung into action.

“While it might seem to some to be an inefficient use of police time to pull over a driver in a toy car, the risk the driver was creating to other motorists on the road who were forced to go around him, coupled with the risk to himself as other drivers are not in the habit of looking for toy cars on the busy road, was enough to warrant police attention.”

Dudley Do-Right, on the case.

And finally, a brief and entirely inadequate appreciation of the end of an era. Last week, Ray Hudson announced his retirement from broadcasting, ending more than 50 years in soccer as a player, coach, and one of the all-time greats in the booth. We celebrated him at least once, which isn't nearly enough for one of the singular voices in the sport.

If you've got a few minutes, give this compilation of Hudson's calls a listen. It'll perk you right up. Magisterial!

Serving the Public...Drinks

One week ago today, our ongoing investigation into odd food shit led us to ISCO Spirits' Pizza Vodka. I suggested that the next of us to visit Providence, RI should pick up a bottle or three for sampling purposes.

A few hours after that post dropped, our man Marls texted me a picture of a receipt - that lunatic went out and ordered a bottle. And so our investigation began. 

I had a nice block of Parmesan cheese in my fridge, and went to the market and purchased a jar of pepperoncini. Marls commenced to making tomato water - tastes like summer. My wife bought new glassware - any excuse to buy stuff. All we needed was an occasion. Turns out we'd already made plans to have dinner because FOG:TB Cricket was in town, and the stars aligned Friday evening.

We tried two of the recipes from ISCO's website: the Caprese Martini, and the Italian Stallion shot. Here's Marls pouring the former:

The Caprese Martini includes the aforementioned tomato water and a couple of dashes of balsamic vinegar. Which gave us an excellent excuse to break out the vinegar my wife and I bought at Poggio ai Laghi, a winery in Monteriggiano, Italy we visited in December. It's spectacular. 

I digress.

Marls garnished the martinis with some seasoned mozzarella balls and served us. The verdict: a darn tasty savory sip, with notes of oregano and a bit of a briny flavor. Even a non-vodka fan like me enjoyed it.

We finished our pre-dinner tasting with a shot. The Italian Stallion is simple. It's a shot of pizza vodka. The accoutrements make the drink. Start by loading your hand with grated Parm, in the manner of salt for a tequila shot. Make sure you've got a pepperoncini close at hand. Eat the cheese, down the shot, eat the pepperoncini. It's a pretty cool combination - the spicy little pepper makes it.

So in the final analysis, this particular Food is Dumb episode ends with a nod to the purveyor. Well done, ISCO - we'll see you again.

Carolina Blew?

We are likely months, if not years, from conclusions about the University of North Carolina’s L’Affaire Belichick. Certainly, there’s plenty to discuss already, but early results have done little except confirm the football program’s nondescript status within the sport’s hierarchy, albeit now with a much larger spotlight. 

Such is the case when a school with a modest football history goes off script and pays exorbitant sums to hire one of the sport’s most accomplished coaches, a guy with six Super Bowl rings who is also 73 years old and had never coached a minute in college. Oh, and with an attractive, opportunistic, sensitive-to-scrutiny girlfriend almost 50 years his junior in tow. 

But hype is hype, and in a quest for football relevance, several UNC Big Checkbooks circumvented the regular hiring process and went back-channel to recruit Coach Hoodie, with the promise of big money and full control of the program. Their throw-weight prevailed, and the administration signed off. Wholesale staff and roster makeover ensued and enthusiasm within the fan base spiked, accompanied by national curiosity about how it all would play out. 

The Tar Heels’ opener, a 48-14 nationally televised home dump trucking by TCU, exposed them as miles away from their stated goal of championships and illustrated that it doesn’t matter who’s wearing the Big Headset if players are lacking or don’t perform. Last weekend’s 20-3 win against Charlotte, a meh American Athletic Conference program, provided little evidence of progress. Upcoming games against FCS Richmond and Central Florida, a middlin’ Big 12 opponent (hard to keep up with who’s where these days, ain’t it?) in its own reset won’t reveal much. 

UNC’s next “test” comes Oct. 4 versus Clemson in its ACC opener. Meanwhile, former NFL scout and now snoop and take-haver John Middlekauf first reported last week that Belichick banned New England Patriots scouts. Belichick confirmed the report and responded that since he’s banned from the Pats’ facility, they’re banned from UNC’s facility. 

It’s a remarkably pissy move aimed at owner Bob Kraft, particularly considering that the Patriots are coached by one of his former players, Mike Vrabel. Subsequent reporting by ESPN and others reveal that other NFL team scouts are only permitted to watch limited practice time and that NFL personnel may talk only to the Tar Heels’ pro liaison and will have “zero access” to Belichick and his assistants. It’s an interesting tack for a program and staff trying to attract talent by touting their NFL bonafides and ability to prepare players for the pros. 

Belichick’s college and UNC pivot have also revived discussion in some corners about where he resides in the coaching pantheon. It seems ridiculous to question the chops of a guy with a fistful of rings and the second-most wins in NFL history. But he was sub-.500 in Cleveland in his first head coaching stint and sub-.500 in New England after Tom Brady departed. 

The Belichick-Brady pairing and its role in the Patriots dynasty was a chicken-and-egg question for a long time. The Patriots’ and Belichick’s 29-38 record in the four years after Brady decamped for Tampa and won a Super Bowl may have tilted the discussion in the quarterback’s favor, especially as it pertains to their latter years in Foxboro. 

Speaking of poor general managers, Chapel
Hill ties, and money

I think it’s beyond dispute that Belichick is a great coach who was a poor general manager and offensive unit assembler, which led to substandard records and Kraft cutting the cord in 2023. His desire for full control likely figured into the rest of the league taking a pass when a guy who’s getting a bust in Canton became available. In Belichick’s year away, he got a whiff of the college coaching and campus experience through his son, Steve, and his compadres and enjoyed it greatly. And then several guys with Chapel Hill ties and money and grand ideas of UNC football’s potential reach dovetailed with an unemployed Big Whistle convinced he still has tread on the tires, and here we are. 

He could have kept a foot in the game on a smaller stage, and probably earned handsome side money, as a consultant and clinician. But the opportunity to run a show and receive eight figures annually to do so scratched an itch. At this point, it's probably fair to ask: So, where are you going with this, Sparky? It’s a valid question and I’m not sure I have a good answer. 

I guess the larger point is that for all the analysis and opinions and snark that every game and move and press conference remark prompt, for all the skepticism about novice Chapel Bill in a wildly unsettled college landscape, we’re nowhere near a reasonable judgment and may not be for several years. The Belichick Experiment could succeed; it could flame out spectacularly or fizzle meekly (my money is on the latter). The man’s body of work invites a level of attention that far exceeds the pace of the work itself and the task at hand, which is unsatisfying in an impatient society that frequently demands immediate returns. The risk and financial outlay certainly merit accountability and some measures of improvement along the way – for both Belichick and those who instigated his arrival – but it’s not necessarily wise to permit the audience to dictate terms.

I am fit as a goddam fiddle, alternatively titled "The Streak Redux"

Almost four years ago I touted my Peloton purchase in a Gheorghemas post.  I have continued to use it regularly and although I haven't been able to drop my weight significantly below 169 pounds (and really, why would I want to) I am fit as a goddam fiddle.  I routinely crank out rides of 11-13 kJ per minute (Danimal scoffs at that) and work up a mighty sweat but cool down in about five minutes.  When I'm not doing rides I'm lifting weights or doing yoga.  Not heavy weights or good yoga, but I'm trying (I hate lifting weights).  If I'm away from home I'll do a run on the hotel treadmill or even outside (!) on the street.  I have convinced myself that this shit is fun, worthwhile, and too expensive to collect dust in the basement.

So thorough is this self-inflicted Jedi mind trick that yesterday I completed my 365th day in a row of doing at least one Peloton activity.  A streak, if you will.  rob's wife streaked with me.  She also participated in the ride I took to make the streak one year long. 

Some of you will remember my last streak which ran sometime during the spring semester of 1996 when I went after Buck's house record for most consecutive nights out.  This was a streak of an entirely different tone and tenor than my current health kick.  Eventually I broke the record, and when I saw Buck I told him so.  He replied "I don't remember setting a record like that" which means his streak destroyed his memory or he was full of shit when he told an impressionable freshman about his drinking exploits.

Unlike my streak of 1996, I feel no pressure with this one.  In fact I feel good!  I'm not keeping it alive just to say I did, I'm enjoying myself.  I'm sure this streak will come to an end but it won't be a relief when it does.

Food Back On Its Bullshit?

I don't know why this topic has taken up so much of my blog-related mental space of late, but the universe really seems to be tilting gustatorily at the moment. This one's a doozy.

Rhode Island-based ISCO Spirits has an inventive portfolio and a sustainable mission. As the distiller says on its website, "Our spirits are fiercely unique, land-and-ocean-inspired and handcrafted." Their Seaflow Ocean Gin is made with local seaweed and oysters in addition to the juniper you might expect. They offer an everything bagel aquavit, for chrissakes.

Those tempting tipples have nothing on their newest limited release. Friends, I give you ISCO Pizza Vodka. It's made with 100% organic wheat, tomatoes, pizza spices, and fresh, gooey mozzarella cheese. Bloomberg spirits columnist Kara Newman tasted it, and came away impressed, saying "It didn’t disappoint: The clear liquid has a big, tomato-y scent and oregano-forward flavor and a mouthwatering, garlicky exhale. (Seriously; keep a breath mint in your back pocket.) Put all together, it really does taste uncannily like a saucy slice."

The good folks at ISCO, who I now want to hang out with, offer some cocktail ideas for what they claim is the world's first pizza vodka. Again from their website, "From Italian Stallion Shots (like a tequila shot with all Italian ingredients), to Pizza Luges, to upscale savory Caprese martinis and clarified Hawaiian Milk Punches, Pizza Vodka can be dressed. up or down just like the versatile food on which it is based. Perfect for dive bars to Michelin stars and everything in between!"

Indeed, the Italian Stallion sounds delicious: Pour 1 oz. of Pizza Vodka into a shot glass, wet your hand as you might for salt in a tequila shot, shake shredded Parmesan cheese on your hand, lick the cheese, drink the shot, chase with a pepperoncini. I'm not a vodka fan, but that might change things for me.

Whoever gets to Providence next, grab a couple bottles. At $30, they're a bargain. Salud!

Breaking Music News

In a series of posts on Bluesky last night, R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe ended decades of speculation by revealing the lyrics to 'It's the End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)'. Over to you, Mike:

Ok its ‘feed it off an aux, speak, grunt no strength, the ladder start to clatter with fear fight down height, wire in a fire representing seven games, a government for hire and a combat site’.

— Michael Stipe (@michaelstipe.bsky.social) September 5, 2025 at 12:13 AM

The entire thread is a hoot, including this reveal about 'Chronic Town', 'Murmur', and 'Reckoning':

Any other lyrics— don’t even try chronic town murmur or reckoning btw— just form vowels and syllables, and mean it

— Michael Stipe (@michaelstipe.bsky.social) September 3, 2025 at 9:55 AM

It's the end of the mystery as we know it. And I feel fine.

Food is...Getting Smarter?

In which we both appreciate a blessed snack combination and an authentic American personality.

Mike Golic Junior faced at least mild criticism early in his career owing to his Nepo Baby path to prominence at ESPN. His father is beloved by many as a happy go lucky fat defensive lineman turned svelte radio and television personality. Junior unquestionably benefited from his dad's notoriety as one half of the legendary Mike & Mike morning show, making some of his first public appearances on the program.

But if Junior was all nepo, he'd have faded away over time. Instead, he's become a unique and talented voice, capable of breaking down offensive line play (he played at Notre Dame before being waived by the Pittsburgh Steelers in camp) and Taylor Swift lyrics with equal authority. He can do professional color commentary on a college football game and poke fun of himself with aplomb. He's made a point of supporting female broadcasters like Jessica Smetana and Chiney Ogwumike. He says shit like this, "There are always two different ways to go about everything - you're either so talented that people can't deny it, or you're willing to come in, work, and be a great teammate. I always thought, let me make sure I leave everyone I work with as best as I can." 

And more directly relevant to this post, he's an unabashed lover of food, especially gooey, greasy, snacky stuff. 

Recently, he dropped this review:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mike Golic Jr. (@mikegolicjr)

I think he'd be fun at a G:TB summit.

Goin' Solo

Fine, I'll do it myself. Just like a pair of G:TB faves who usually front terrific bands who are dropping solo records over the coming weeks. 

Jeff Tweedy's Twilight Override will be released on September 26. It's a 30-song triple record. A goddamned opus. Here's "Enough", which is probably what Tweedy felt by the end of the recording process.

Old 97s frontman Rhett Miller follows Tweedy with A Lifetime of Riding by Night on October 10. Miller finished the record just days before he underwent vocal chord surgery that's kept him off the mic for several months. Looking forward to hearing this one live, including "Come as You Are".

Seen a Million Faces?

In a recent edition of 'We Defy Augury', our guy Professor G. Truck compares and contrasts the paths taken by two sons of Jersey in an effort to understand and explain the impact of place on literature and art. During a discussion of Jon Bon Jovi's heavily-local lyrics, the Professor references Bon Jovi's smash, "Dead or Alive".

I'm not a big Bon Jovi fan - the whole hair metal thing was never really my bag. But that tune kicks ass, and I love it unironically. There's a lyric that's always resonated with me: "I've seen a million faces. And I've rocked 'em all." Bombastic, braggadocios, and maybe not all that hyperbolic.

Which got me to thinking. I have rocked very few faces. But have I seen a million in my 55 years on the planet?

A few things to consider. I did not spend much time at all in major cities until my early 20s. I lived on small towns and military bases, and we vacationed in places like Cape Cod. Went to a few Red Sox games in that time, and played a bunch of sports, so I wasn't totally isolated. 

But let's assume for the sake of argument that my facecount was pretty low until I turned 25. How many faces per day would I have to have seen to get to a million? There are 10,950 days in 30 years. So over that span, a person would need to average 91 faces a day to get to a million.

In recent years, I probably average fewer faces than that most days. I work from home, so that's a constraining factor. If we don't count Zoom calls, I may not see a face other than my wife's today. Last weekend, which was pretty normal, I'd estimate I saw 200 faces at dinner at a busy spot on Friday, and another 100 at the bar we stopped in to get a nightcap. Then 200 faces at a brewery on Saturday, and another 75 at the restaurant we went to afterwards. Probably at least another 100 at the farmer's market that morning. That's 675 on the weekend, which makes up for the faceless weekdays in terms of the average.

And in the before times, I traveled a decent amount to large cities where it's reasonable to assume I saw a thousand faces a day just by walking around. I worked in Tysons Corner for a decade, and in addition to the faces in my building, I'd usually go out to grab food and see dozens of faces. In my earlier days, Whit and I would spend a not insignificant amount of time in bars in the greater DC area - gotta be several hundred faces per outing. That's before we get to concerts and major sporting events, where a thousand feels low (I'm not counting all the fans in the stands, just the ones I actually saw in person. (In face? Whatever.)

Throwing all that into the mental blender and carrying the one, I'm pretty confident that I've seen a million faces. Now to commence with the rocking.

How Stuff Works, Creative Economics Version

The transformation of the entertainment economy over the past few decades has been exceptional in so many different ways. Consumers have benefited significantly by suddenly having the ability to access an immensely diverse menu of content. Corporations have profited, despite often being late to the party in understanding new distribution and consumption models. But creatives in the majority of cases have been negatively impacted, or at least found themselves scrambling to figure out how to make rent in a wildly different and quickly and continually changing economic environment.

Understanding how artists, writers, journalists, and other creative professionals are navigating this new world is the central premise of Past Due with Ana Marie Cox and Open Mike Eagle. The podcast describes itself thusly: "Ana Marie Cox and Open Mike Eagle explore what it takes to survive as a creative today. From juggling side gigs to redefining success, we dive into the real stories behind making a living when one job isn't enough."

Cox is a veteran journalist, writer, and podcaster who's known for her political writing (she's the founding editor of the venerable Wonkette). Mike is a rapper, comedian, producer who skews to the alt side of the musical art form. Together, they're insightful and interesting. 

Past Due was launched in July, but it first came to my attention last week when the two hosts had a conversation with Rhett Miller in the runup to his new solo album. It's fascinating right from the jump. If you've ever wondered whether rock and roll frontmen worry about making their mortgage, this one's for you.

Something American We Can Get Behind

We've celebrated badass women of all kinds since the beginning* here. And you know about our affinity for the America's lesser-publicized sports. Tomorrow, our interests intersect in what promises to be a most entertaining way.

* The really early days weren't our finest in that regard, but we got our shit straight eventually.

At 2:30 Eastern at the Stadium of Light in Sunderland, England, the United States takes on hosts England in the first match of the Women's Rugby World Cup. Sixteen teams will battle over the next five weeks to determine the champion in the tenth edition of the tournament.

No. 8 Kate Zackary captains the Women's Eagles

The U.S. comes in with a good deal of momentum, at least in terms of popular support. American back Ilona Maher has more followers on social media than any other rugby player in the world, male or female. She's returning to the 15-player game that she played at Quinnipiac after building her professional career in sevens - entering the World Cup, she's only played seven full-sided international matches. 

Maher's a great story, and she really can play - she was the national collegiate player of the year in 2017 - but the Americans face an uphill road. England are the world's top-ranked side, and sixth-ranked Australia are also in the United States' four-team group (the U.S. is ranked tenth in the world). The Americans' match with the Wallaroos will likely tell the tale.

Only three nations have ever lifted the Women's World Cup trophy. The U.S. won the very first in 1991, and since then New Zealand have won six times, including the last two, and England a pair. The Red Roses enter the event on a roll, only losing once in 58 matches since 2022.

We're not gonna pretend we know a ton about the teams and the players, but we do know how to Google, and this preview from Opta is pretty robust. I asked my favorite rugby expert who he thought would win the event, and he said, "Scottie Sheffler". Our expert has taken a few blows to the head in his day. He followed his initial prediction by saying, "Can't see England not winning at home". Good enough for me - the Red Roses are G:TB's Official Women's World Cup pick. But keep an eye on Canada and Fancy Bermudez. The Canucks are the second-ranked team in the world, and the best bet to break England and New Zealand's hold on the trophy.

@rugbycanada A double vs the USA 😮‍💨 @Fancy Bermudez is on another level 📈 #RugbyCA | #OneSquad | #HSBCSVNS | #HSBCSVNSSGP ♬ original sound - Rugby Canada

EMERGENCY FOOD IS DUMB UPDATE!!!

Apparently a conflagration of ketchup and fruit isn't enough for some folks. It seems, in fact, that some people just wanna watch the world burn, or possibly just feed us.

A good number of those kind of people work for Pabst and Campbell's, who just issued a joint press release entitled "Campbell's® Chunky® and Pabst Blue Ribbon Invite Fans to "Crack Open a Warm One" with New Collaboration". 

As always, we cut and paste so you don't have to. Here's what they're on about:

Just in time for soup season, the two new varieties will be available exclusively at Walmart starting this month:

Campbell's Chunky x Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer Cheese with Potatoes & Chorizo Soup is packed with savory chorizo sausage and hearty potatoes simmered in creamy cheese infused with Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer flavor. Pair it with a soft pretzel, serve it in a bread bowl, or top it with extra shredded cheese.

Campbell's Chunky x Pabst Blue Ribbon Beef, Bacon & Beer Chili with Beans is the perfect addition to brisk fall days and features seasoned beef, hearty beans and smoky bacon, all infused with Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer flavor. Enjoy it straight from the can, load up a hot dog or drizzle it on top of nachos.

That's...that's so crazy that it just might work. As Ryan Pawling, Senior Brand Manager, Campbell's Chunky, says, "Our fans love bold, unexpected taste experiences, and pairing Chunky's hearty recipes with the iconic, malty flavor of PBR brings something totally unique to the soup aisle."

If you're in Manhattan on Thursday, stop by Ray's Bar for a dive bar takeover, complete with free PBR to pair with the soup, and exclusive merch. And report back on how the soups taste, obvs.

What We Heard

As y'all know, the kidlet and I made a trans-continental road trip last week. In advance, I asked the assemblage for listening recommendations, and you came forward. And the kidlet showed up prepared, as well. So to get you into the new week, here's a quartet of playlists that'll get you rolling.

This one's from Whitney. It's a great mix of stuff that's not smack in the mainstream, deeper cuts from bands I love and stuff I didn't know. Got a lot of new out of it.

 Zman came through with an entirely different vibe. Dig on African Funk Desert Blues Friday Morning.

Last, but definitely not least, the kid came prepared with her wide-ranging musical taste.

Disagreeable Climate

Today’s episode of Nobody Does Alienation Like America features what is likely to be extreme indifference, if not twin middle fingers, from national leaders in response to combating climate change. 

Last month the world’s highest court, the International Court of Justice at the Hague, issued an advisory opinion that said countries are obligated to protect climate systems and to mitigate the damages caused by climate change for present and future generations. 

“Failure of a State to take appropriate action to protect the climate system from greenhouse gas emissions — including through fossil fuel production, fossil fuel consumption, the granting of fossil fuel exploration licences (sic) or the provision of fossil fuel subsidies — may constitute an internationally wrongful act which is attributable to that State,” according to the ICJ press release on the decision. 

The Court floated the ideas of cessation of harmful practices, promises by nations to not repeat them and even restitution and reparations to communities and entire nations adversely affected by a particular country’s actions. Just days later, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency went the opposite direction and announced that it aimed to repeal a provision that greenhouse gases endanger public health and that permitted their regulation under the Clean Air Act. 

The proposed repeal of the so-called “endangerment finding” is part of a planned rollback of more than 30 environmental rules dealing with air and water and climate change that EPA chief and arsonist Lee Zeldin announced back in March. “There are people who, in the name of climate change, are willing to bankrupt the country,” Zeldin said on a conservative podcast. His predecessors under Presidents Obama and Biden, he said, “twisted the law, ignored precedent and warped science to achieve their preferred ends and stick American families with hundreds of billions of dollars in hidden taxes every single year.” No mention of the increased costs, financially and psychically, of more frequent and severe disasters exacerbated by climate change. 

The “endangerment finding” dates to a 2007 court case brought against the EPA under George W. Bush’s administration in which the Supreme Court ultimately ruled that greenhouse gases qualified as an “air pollutant” under the broad definition in the Clean Air Act. The EPA announced the endangerment finding in 2009. Despite the SCOTUS ruling, Zeldin and the Trump administration are buoyed by a couple of recent court decisions that limited the EPA’s ability to regulate greenhouse gases (gee, I wonder what changed between then and now?) 

If you think that resistance to climate change accountability is limited to conservatives and the fossil fuel lobby, consider that last December the U.S. legal advisor to the State Department under Biden, a woman named Margaret Taylor, argued before the ICJ that human rights laws do not provide for a right to a healthy environment, nor should countries be financially responsible for the effects due to past emissions. The Court disagreed. The Court also disagreed with two oft-used arguments against accountability – that climate change is too big and complex to assign blame to individual countries or entities, and that agreements on emissions and pollutants, such as the Paris Agreement or Kyoto Protocol, are largely voluntary and thus not open to legal action. 

The ICJ’s counters to those arguments are that science has advanced to the point that companies’ and countries’ emissions and pollutants can be more accurately measured and thus not an excuse to evade liability. The Court also said that combating climate change can no longer be voluntary because of the increasing damage to communities, individuals, entire regions, and that climate agreements are legally binding. The ICJ also cited customary law – well established fundamental legal principles interwoven with many countries’ own legal systems, such as human rights laws – that a state can be legally liable for failure to reduce climate change practices. 

Granted, an advisory opinion isn’t legally binding, and there’s no global police force to come knocking on the door and perp-walk the accused. But the ICJ’s findings, and our actions, carry symbolic heft. At a time when much of the world leans toward cooperation and consensus on addressing climate change, the U.S. has leaders who respond with a hearty “No thanks,” if not “Piss off.” The current administration, in particular, understands only power and views cooperation and compromise as weakness. Reducing dependency on fossil fuels is inconvenient, if not un-American. 

The Big Dumb Orange Guy hasn’t responded directly to the ICJ’s findings, but as he routinely criticizes domestic courts and judges with which he disagrees and treats the U.S. Constitution as a work-around, he and his enablers aren’t likely to fall in with international court decisions. Globally, we are well on our way to becoming the obnoxious, bullying uncle that the family despises but is forced to endure at holidays because he’s president of the town bank and owns the local hardware store. We are a transactional actor that abandons colleagues (Ukraine), antagonizes allies (NATO), shelves “soft diplomacy” (USAID cuts abroad), slaps tariffs on friend and foe alike, and targets immigrants and the “wrong” sorts of Americans, all while further enriching the wealthy. Many of those actions can be reversed or undone, though not without cost in terms of trust and respect. The costs of denying or ignoring climate change, however, are far greater than scorn and ridicule.

Remedy For What Ails Ya

If, that is, what ails ya is a lack of silly content made by serious musicians. I've watched this one several times, and I find it both amazing and absurd. In it, you'll see content creators (as an aside, why does nobody call us content creators? We've created content for over 20 years now. Bullshit.) Anthony Vincent and Mac Glocky covering the Spice Girls' "Wannabe" in the style of System of a Down. The band's bassist Shavo Odadjian lends his approval to the project.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Anthony Vincent (@anthonyvincentofficial)

Heinz You Doin?

You Are Looking Live!!!!

Well, not really. This is an image I took from my car window just an hour ago at the local Smoothie King I patronize a few times a week. My frequent order is a Peanut Power Plus, chocolate flavor. Tasty, filling, fast. It's my jam. 

As I approached the order kiosk, I did so with wonder, curiosity and a little bit of anxiety. Would my Smoothie King be one of the select few promoting the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie, the same smoothie tens of people first read about right here on GTB just yesterday?! 

Indeed it is. And I did. 

After handing my Smoothie Queen payment, she informed me that I was the first at this location to order said smoothie. I asked if she had tried it - "no" was her answer. Not a great sign. But she added, "You can't really taste the ketchup, it's just a little bit tart." Okay, I can handle tart. 

Filled with pride and a smile to go with, I inserted straw and thought it through....let's just go with a tiny little sip. She wasn't yanking my chain. The ketchup is almost but not entirely indiscernible. Maybe a dollop of a dollop? The acai, apple juice, strawberries and raspberries (why isn't it rasBerries?) -yup, can taste them all. The ketchup, not so much. And that's a good thing. 

Will I order again? No. But I did finish without problem. It isn't terrible, it isn't bad. It's mid, as the kids these days say. Rating? Six Rotten Tomatoes out of 10.

Food is Dumb

We are nothing if not an easily distracted people. Witness...waves hands...everything. Now comes news from two different sources of wild foodstuffs designed - obviously - to take our minds off of the monstrous fuckery loosed upon the world.

First, the folks that used to be wisely guided by Dave Thomas' avuncular approach have gone off the rails. Wendy's recently released the Takis Fuego Chicken sandwich. For the initiated, Takis are a rolled tortilla snack designed to resemble mini taquitos. They come in a number of flavors, but Fuego is the most popular - who can resist a well-balanced hot chili pepper and lime flavor profile? Full disclosure, I think they're pretty tasty.

Lindsay Radkoski, Wendy's U.S. Chief Marketing Officer tells us, "At Wendy's, we know how to keep things spicy, and we love serving up fresh, famous collaborations that tap into consumers passion points, which made this partnership with Takis a no brainer. By joining forces with such an iconic and beloved snacking brand, we're turning up the heat and flavor in a way only Wendy's can!"

Heat and flavor, noted Wendy's attributes, natch. To be honest, I'd try it.

Which is not something I can say about our other featured food item.

Heinz (the ketchup people - that Heinz) and Smoothie King have teamed up to release the Heinz Tomato Ketchup Smoothie. I just threw up in my mouth. According to the linked article from delish, "The deep red drink blends açai sorbet, fresh apple juice, ripe strawberries, tart raspberries, and a not-so-subtle dash of Heinz ketchup."

Threw up again.

That sounds so disgusting that I wouldn't even ask Marls to try it, and Marls never backs down from a gustatory challenge.

We'll keep our eyes open for other delicious mashups/assaults on society, so please be sure to check back at regular intervals. Which is not something you'll have if you drink that Heinz monstrosity.

New Logo Alert!

It's lean times here at the content factory. Dog days of summer, general distraction disorder (it's a thing, don't look it up), writer's block (definitely a thing, you should look it up), all of it. I've got a couple of posts in progress that I think will finally push us over the top and put us in the mix for some of that sweet, sweet Athletic money, like Pablo Torre. But I gotta find time and inspiration, both of which are in short supply.

So here's a stopgap post that combines two of my interests: sports logos and Colorado.

The NWSL is expanding to Denver and Boston in 2026. The latter has been a bit of a shitshow in terms of branding. We're not here to talk about that. Instead, let's celebrate the branding work Denver Summit FC has done.

Let's start with the name. Solid, evocative of the region, despite the fact that Denver has no summits. They're looking to engage the entire Front Range. Fine.

The badge, though, that's a different story. A story, in fact, that the club tells well in this explainer. The club's done an excellent job connecting with its region and geography while tying itself to soccer tradition. The colors are unique in American footy, but familiar in Colorado. And above all, the badge just looks dope:

Leaving Virginia for Colorado tomorrow. Hoping to return with my first Summit merch. See you out there, design fans.

Gheorghasbord: More Good Stuff

We live in times that are often not...good. But we got to spend the weekend here enjoying a lot of good, courtesy of Donna, and that felt...good. So in that spirit, we're gonna let the good times roll. 

No big deal, y'all. We just sorta solved AIDS. In June, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a drug called lenacapavir as a vaccine to be taken by people at risk of HIV twice-yearly. During clinical trials, the drug was 100% effective in protecting cisgender women. The effectiveness drops to 96% for men who have sex with other men, considerably higher than previously-tested treatments. This would seem to be pretty fucking important.

Not only did Ichiro Suzuki get inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, he did it in style, with a funny and touching speech. 

To wit:

@yahoosports Ichiro Suzuki had jokes in his Hall of Fame speech 🤣 (via @MLB) #ichiro #ichirosuzuki #mlb #baseballhalloffame #miamimarlins ♬ original sound - Yahoo Sports

Here's the whole thing:

Trinity Rodman has battled a back injury for months. She last played for the Washington Spirit on April 12, coming off the field that day in pain. She spent the time between then and now rehabbing, often in places she went with her boyfriend, tennis star Ben Shelton. And yesterday, she finally got back on the field.

Rodman subbed into a 1-1 game against the Portland Thorns in the 76th minute. Early in stoppage time, she took a flick-on from Croix Bethune, and did this (check out Bethune's preaction):

It simply had to be Trinity Rodman 🥹 pic.twitter.com/gYkd1TgcvG

— National Women’s Soccer League (@NWSL) August 3, 2025

She ran to the side of the goal and buried her hands in her face, breaking down in happy tears. That's the good shit.

The Good Stuff: A Very Special G:TB Guest Post

Here's a debut guestie from Pastor Donna, and it's a great one.

Hi, y’all. I’m writing almost two weeks after a glorious week of 65° partly cloudy/partly sunny, gorgeous days on the East Coast of Scotland in St. Andrews, where I accompanied our oldest son, who graduated on July 1st. I recall OBX Dave suggested perhaps a post of the visit’s highlights, so thought I’d give it a “go” – first, to say, any of you who have not been to Scotland, you really must go. I joke that while some folks say they have a spirit animal, I have a spirit country, and it is Scotland. This was my 5th visit, and they get better and better every time. Even as this was a short one.

The main events happened on Tuesday with the graduation at 2:00 PM local time. It was one of two, as the university holds 2 graduations a day, for 5 days in a row. Massive tradition and pageantry with every single one.

The university was established in 1413, so 600 years of excellence (as they see it) to uphold in all the ways that they can. There are robes and stoles and Latin and speeches and great celebrations, and every student graduating wears a “hood” that really is more like a cape. And the hoods for students with a bachelor degree include fur.

The day started with the worship Service of Thanksgiving at 9:30 AM, which is much like a baccalaureate service over here. About thirty minutes of giving thanks for the joy of these days and a message to send the kids forward (so to speak). And this is where I was asked to preach. St. Salvator’s Chapel was built 600 some years ago; I was quite humbled to preach with its glorious stained glass, wooden carved seats, marble and stone all around, and its raised pulpit. And as the picture shows, the visual of the chaplain, Don McUwan, my son, and me, was somewhat comical. He is every bit of 6’6”, maybe taller, and then you can see Josiah and me.

The title of my sermon, It’s About Love, was extremely well-received. Josiah and I were touched that so many of his friends and their families attended the service, too, and now, a number of them have posted on Insta a tagline “#itsaboutlove” – I feel heard. If you’re at all interested, here is a link to the livestream of the service.

One really wild thing that happened is that a friend since junior high has a daughter who was in the sameprogram as Josiah. They met at W&M and realized how we are connected – her Dad and I being friends since 6th grade. And that I officiated the wedding of her parents a rather long time ago; they were one of the first couples I married actually, before I was ordained. They hired a magistrate for the legal part, and I led the rest of the service. Turns out, Taylor and Josiah became really good friends over the last 4 years, and her family all came for graduation. So, as I looked out to preach, on the front row, there they were. Who would’ve thought!

So, graduation commenced at 2:00, and the actual moment of graduation is when the Principal (Vice-chancellor – equivalent to President of Univ. over here) taps the students’ heads with a cap and speaks some Latin. She must be sick of that phrase by the end of 5 days, probably even the first day! As she does, the “hood” is dropped upon the student who has knelt down. The chief “mace-holder” (don’t know their official title), but they sure look smart!, drops the hoods on everyone. 

The traditions that follow include:

1. All graduates walk around the quad several times while the deliriously happy family/friends are carrying-on with all manner of flowers, banners, balloons, drink, etc. And it’s a United Nations type crowd, as tons of students are from the U.S. and the rest of the world, kind of more than Scotland itself.

2. A huge garden party that is fabulously organized and filled with wonderful food and drink for all.

3. Massive picture-taking both “official” types and personal by everyone there with a phone.

4. Pub-crawling well into the next morning of all the grads with their friends.

St. Andrews is crazy crowded during all this time, both because of the University festivities but also because the Old Course Golf Club Resort is popping! I mean groups from 6 AM – 10 PM finishing. And that’s just that course. It’s super busy but all terrifically so. We got to stay right in the midst of town, so we were right there.

Regarding historic sites besides the University, we visited the Cathedral ruins, right next to the Pier & North Sea, and when we did, St. Rules Tower, finished in 1215, was open to climb. It had closed in 2020, and re-opened last year or so. Josiah hadn’t gotten to climb it while there. So, we did. It’s 168 narrow, spiral staircase steps to the top. And it provides panoramic views of the town. 

Seeing West Sands Beach, the crisp coldness of the North Sea, where Chariots of Fire was filmed, and Castle/Cathedral Ruins of centuries ago, drinking in pubs with my oldest – life doesn’t get much better than that. By the way, do y’all know what “splitting the G” is? You probably do. (I didn’t.) It’s when drinking Guinness, if you drink out of a glass with its name, and you leave your sip with the beer level in the middle of the “G”.

As to golf, we thought the closest we’d get was eating in the Tom Morris Bar & Grill and going up to its Roof Garden, where you can see different sides of the Old Course and the golf. But, I went for walks in the later evening (the sun doesn’t go there right now until after 10:00!) and ended at the 1st/18th hole of the Old Course.

That is such an iconic place, and seeing groups finish there is really something. At first I had my phone out to take pictures, but then I put my phone down.

I was taken-in by the interaction of a caddy with his player. And the player’s set-up for each shot. And how those few of us watching really responded to what would happen. Like when the second shot would come in, and it would land 8-10 feet or so from the hole. That was something. And in the groups, the other players would really cheer for the person who had made such a shot. It was first-class fun, and I found myself drawn to really paying attention. I didn’t want pictures, I wanted to enjoy the moments as much as a spectator can.

I can’t remember if I’ve told this story to G:TB, but when I was 16, I went golfing with 3 friends, except I wasn’t playing. I was along for the day. But on the 5th hole, I think it was, I was standing about 8 feet in front of the hole, but way to the right, like 30-40 feet away easily but facing my friends. My friend hit the ball, off the very end of the club, and it drove right at me, so fast, square into my stomach. The impact was so hard that I fell to the ground in pretty serious pain. My friends found it hilarious at first; then they realized they better check on me. I was all right after a solid 10 minutes or so. But that incident had left a sourness in me about golf forever with regard to ever playing it. I do watch some majors, especially near their end, for the drama. 

It was this trip to St. Andrews, though, sitting there at the first & final hole of this celebrated, historic Course that I experienced something different. It was cool. Special. So cheers to that! 

The entire trip was marvelous! We are way too proud as parents. Of all our kids. Not sure what it’ll be like since our youngest will leave this fall now, and all of them will be gone, but we’re excited for their adventures. And I’m definitely ready for our next one to Scotland.