I'm going to yuck this yum

I'm a fan of language, especially slang, so I enjoy following the youngs' neologisms.  Although one of my faves is "don't yuck my yum" I'm going to do so in this post.

Which is not a political post!  You probably think I'm going to gleefully detail Bryon Noem's love of bimbofication but you're wrong.  If that's how he gets down, so be it.  I do, however, find it gobsmacking that of all the things associated with Kristi Noem over the past 14-or-so months, this is what brings her shame.  

I take to my keyboard to instead yuck a different practice.  I have long maintained, and I'm sure Danimal agrees, that water is the homeowner's greatest enemy.  It can cause problems originating in the house or from any direction outside the house.  You know you're middle aged when you see a foot of snow outside your house and perseverate about how it will all end up in your sump pump someday.

The homeowner's second greatest enemy is bugs.  Roaches, silverfish, termites, cave crickets, centipedes.  And ants.  Every year I wage chemical warfare against odorous house ants, or Tapinoma sessile to the entomologically inclined, by applying ecologically disastrous amounts of Amdro Ant Block to the foundation of zhome to minimize their appearance in zkitchen.  I cannot stand those little bastards.

I therefore yuck the practice of collecting ants.  So widespread is this preposterous hobby that there exists a commercial endeavor called AntsRUs.com offering for sale ants and, mindbogglingly, termites, as well as equipment to house these pests.  Some of these ants start at £159.99!  A hundred and sixty quid to bring a bug into your house!?!  Bollucks!  Closer to home, some loon in Ohio also sells ants and blogs about them too.  Ahnts: The Blog.

So profitable is this formic fetish that an illegal black market of ants exists to service these oddball collectors.  Giant African harvester ant queens sell for $220, probably because they are "many people's dream species."  Not my dream, maybe yours.

The next time your spouse complains about all the space taken up by your baseball cards, golf clubs, snow tires, CDs, or any other detritus you've accumulated over the years, tell them that you'll get rid of it all if you can start an ant collection.