Friday, October 20, 2017

Ghostface Killah Has His Own Cryptocurrency

I don't understand what blockchains are but they're remarkably popular these days. So popular that Ghostface Killah is getting into the cryptocurrency game. I'm a pretty boring guy, especially when it comes to investing, so I'm skeptical.

It's called Cream Capital, which is a take-off on the song C.R.E.A.M. The "C" in the instant situation stands for "cryptocurrency." Get it?

via GIPHY


This "white paper" explains the scam how it works. Except it doesn't. ATMS are involved somehow.

"What the hell does GfK know about cryptocurrency and why should I invest with him" you might ask. Here's what CEO Brett Westbrook has to say on that topic:

"Ghostface Killah is a long-time business partner of ours," he explains. "I personally connected with him during a Reddit AMA on /r/hiphopheads last year when he was seeking tech-inclined people to work with in future technology focused projects. Dennis is a very forward thinking person and has a keen interest in emerging technologies. It's hard to ignore blockchain tech today even when you're a busy, touring hip hop artist.

"He doesn't have any technical background with cryptocurrencies. However, remember that Wu-Tang is for the children. He is very focused on what the youth and millennials are interested in. He is a very solid businessman and has surrounded himself with bright individuals with a hunger for bring new, groundbreaking technologies to market."

Oh right, Wu-Tang is for the children!



And Pretty Tone is the Chief Branding Officer--no problem, take my money.

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And if this enterprise collapses you know it will be easy to hail the Wallabee Champ into court. What could go wrong?

17 comments:

zman said...

When we trade Trump to Westeros for the Khaleesi, let's throw in LaVar Ball too.

rootsminer said...

I'm in! Where do we send the money?

Whitney said...

How on earth are we getting the Khaleesi in that deal? Maybe the Night King. And they're gonna want to throw Theon in for LaVar Ball.

Whitney said...

Okay, so now I read SoD.

Dave said...

sorry about last night's post-- it seemed funny after a few beers and i was going to write about how much i love the "hey gheorghies" trope but then i got sleepy-- it was a long day of coaching and i was proud that i made it to the pub at all.

miraculous occurrence going up on SoD in a few minutes.

Dave said...

miracle is up and running.

Dave said...

zman, i'll try to read this while my students are "learning " on their own this period.

Mark said...

I commented yesterday that Patrick Beverly was the worst possible opponent for Lonzo Ball is his debut.

Take some time to watch highlights from hat game last night. Beverly picked Ball up full court, got way up in Lonzo’s space which made him visibly uncomfortable and resulted in a shove from Lonzo. Then Beverly purposely knocked Ball down. Ball then immediately turned the ball over off the inbounds. Beverly’s response to this was to grab the ball away from Lonzo and loudly call him a bitch. All of this happened less than halfway through the first quarter. Rough, but predictable night.

rob said...

beverly got lavar all hot and bothered, too. i might need to go get some patrick beverly gear. beverly baller brand.

zman said...

LaVar Ball is a cross between some of the worst aspects of Kris Jenner and Donald Trump. This might make him tremendously entertaining to some people but I want him the hell off my various sources of media ... much like Jenner and Trump.

T.J. said...

1 - Houston traffic blows
2 - TR, do you laugh every time you’re on I-69? ‘Cause I just did.
3 - Spending 14 hours in a city is suboptimal

Mark said...

Beverly busted his ass to get in the league and plays like he’s about to get cut every game. He’s borderline dirty but he plays tough as hell and is the classic “love him if he’s on your team/hate him on the other team” guy. Tough not to root for him.

zman said...

Paul Newman's Paul Newman Daytona (or at least one of them) is being auctioned tonight. I don't know if it will be streamed live but it should set some records.

TR said...

I was on I-69 for many miles y/day, going from the Galleria area to the golf course up near IAH airport. Almost crashed from all the clicking. The highways are big and convoluted and you always have to shift lanes to avoid exits, so they put the highway number on lanes all the time. I wanted to take a pic while driving, but it seemed unwise.

TR said...

I am about to finish Season 1 of Netflix's Big Mouth on my flight. It is hilarious and a must-watch. But it is awkward to watch on an iPad on a flight, given how dirty it is. Seeing a cartoon 12 y/o girl w/ white shorts on and a big period stain on them is hard to explain to folks around me. Same for a floating tampon with Michael Stipe's face signing "Everybody Bleeds," complete w/ the dangling string.

So go watch it. Episodes are 25 mins each and profoundly filthy.

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