Or so I thought.
A guy named Jessey from Ontario, Canada just ran a 15:25 5k while tethered via leash to his dog, Hunter Buxbaum, setting a world record in the process. That's a pretty cool story, and Jessey was justifiably psyched.
But that wasn't half the story. At least it wasn't the amazing half. Turns out the Jessey isn't a man at all. He's an elf.
Born Ben Sayles, the 22 year-old Canadian grew up with a serious affinity for Christmas, and specifically for all things elven. He played an elf in a local holiday play for four consecutive years. And as the story goes,
"He thought it was fun and wanted to make the passion part of his identity. So two years ago, he underwent a five-hour operation to morph the tops of his ears into a point. The procedure cuts out a pie-shaped portion of skin, then sews the ends back together to form the sharpened apex. Elf (then with the last name Sayles) was awake during the surgery. He watched Interstellar, and of course, the Will Ferrell-classic, Elf, to distract himself from the pain." (To the latter, natch.)
And he paid the Canadian government $138 to legally change his name to Jessey the Elf.
Mr. The Elf is a serious triathlete (he finished 18th in last year's Canadian National Championships) and started running 5k races with his dog, a Hungarian Viszla, as part of his training regimen. The rest, as they say, is history.
According to the world's fastest elf, “People ask if, psychologically, I actually think I am an elf. It is not to that level. I just think it is cool having such a different name and pointed ears. It’s really out there.”
That's one way to put it. We celebrate you, Jessey the Elf. May your aerodynamic ears cut through the wind like a hot knife through maple syrup.
Posts
33 comments:
for the second weekend in a row, my kid's school play interferes with my ability to watch hoops. i'll see none of the first game and only some of the second half of the latter. be strong for me, friends.
Aren't all Viszlas Hungarian?
let's consult our hungarian expert
to mark's comment on the last thread, i was unfamiliar with mr. staples' work before last night, but we listened to about an hour's worth on the drive in. it's pretty dope. on the chill side, kinda melodic at times. i dug it.
That's terrible, Rob. And it's a 6:09 PM start time. Tragic.
Some of Staples stuff is melodic and chill but when he gets after it...he goes in. Two of the tracks I mentioned in the previous post (65 Hunnid Degrees and Jump Off the Roof) are bangers. Check them out. Underrated aspect of Staples is his thick ass SoCal accent.
Everything should start at 6:09.
What the elf?
Irks the shit out of me seeing these games played in football stadiums.
Tracy McGrady is a HOFer?
Strip club hof'r?
It's great that Redhead Kingpin decided to go back to school.
A Polk County HOFer, no doubt.
Went to the beach for four hours today. Surfed, chased my kid around. Had a couple beers. I'm fucking wiped out from that. Getting old is no fucking joke.
Who is Redhead Kingpin?
Also, I feel bad for Sindarius Thornwell. Plays as consistently hard as anyone in the country. SEC POY, carries his team to a Final Four and then comes down with the flu the week of the biggest weekend of his life. Life ain't fair.
Redhead Kingpin was a minor MC in the late 1980s and bears an uncanny resemblance to Hassani Gravett on SC.
Thornwell played his way into being a 1st round pick, which guarantees him $6 MM, so he'll be okay.
Fair point. And his name is Sindarius.
To Rob's story about this elf guy, it sounds like an elaborate way to make up for a micropenis.
Can you can relate, Zman?
And Kwame is at Oregon.
I can relate to the Hungarian aspects of the story.
If Carolina wins and the total is 143+, I win my pool. Six bills. Of course it's a low scoring affair with Oregon winning. Dang it.
Dave Bing (18,327 pts) is currently #69 on the all-time NBA scoring list. Jamal Crawford (18,033 pts) is likely to overtake him early next year. Jamal will move to #68 shortly thereafter, pushing Glen "Who's Nailing Palin" Rice (18,336 pts) to #69.
Zach Randolph is closing in on Glenn w/ 17,653 pts.
I feel like we should always be recognizing whoever's 69th in all-time scoring. I'm also very scotched up.
I like where TR's head is at.
Tracy McGrady is #67.
I'm down with 69 and 71. 67 is bad news.
If oregon could hit a shot...
Funny how CBS decided to hide Tracy Wolfsohn's moley moley mole.
there are shittier ways to lose, but that one was on the list. also, fuck carolina.
Boxing out is a thing for a reason.
Nice job Whitney.
The Thunderbirds are doing an air show about 5 miles from my house. We are in their flight path. So I've had the sound of jets roaring over head throughout the last 4 afternoons. Suboptimal.
Simmons did another podcast with Durant. Really good again. KD likes Simmons and it comes through. He's really honest throughout. I enjoy his personality and his love of cursing.
Just finished S-Town. I found it whelming. Nothing more, nothing less.
Lady Cawwwks win in all. Miss St couldn't close the deal. A good couple of weeks for SC.
Post a Comment