I went to the gym near my office at Monday to wail on my lats and delts. After crushing it like I always do, I showered up and started getting changed, keeping my head down to try to avoid the dangly, furry balls of the chit-chatting geriatrics around me who qualmlessly let all their shit hang out. Amazing how much of an impact gravity can have on a ballbag. But I digress. As I was changing, I heard a familiar beat on the radio. It took me a moment to process it, but then I immediately remembered what it was and how I knew it. It's the scene below, from the second movie I ever saw on a VCR. Raiders of the Lost Ark was the first, if you want to know. I watched both with my dad. Nothing more awkward as a kid than seeing a pair of boobies on the telly when your parents were in the room. But I digress again. Let's get back to this awesome awesome tune.
Well, amid a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week for me, that song has worm-holed its way into my head. And yes, if you're asking, I do. I do want to funk. Right now. And I'm not even sure what it means. Is it fucking? Doing drugs? Dancing? Getting drunk? Dressing like a woman in a sequined top? Putting Kools out on a Persian carpet? Any/all of the above? I'd be game for about all of those right now. NJ Transit is self-combusting, The job is bringing stress from all angles. I am fighting politics amid the stressful travel soccer tryout season in my neck of the woods. And I came to the realization that I can no longer keep scotch in my house b/c I will pound it down with excessive aplomb.
But Friday is here. I'm working from home. It's 80 degrees today and will be just as warm tomorrow. The landscapers mulched up my yard so it looks nice. And I will be able to watch my oldest kid play in an oddly scheduled soccer game at 430. So maybe life is not so bad. And maybe for me, funking is just mowing the lawn with a podcast playing in my ears under the hot sun. And maybe that's okay.
Friday, April 28, 2017
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23 comments:
Wow. I guess nobody wants to funk.
funk that, tr. i'm your huckleberry.
beyond funking, i also want to watch a reality show about the cincinnati bengals.
and i've got strong feelings about stressful travel soccer tryouts. it's stressful for kids because parents are assholes. if your kids aren't playing for fun, then they shouldn't play. this is an indictment of parents in general, not you, tr. checking the changing the game project )http://changingthegameproject.com/) for a shit ton of good stuff about how we adults fuck up games for kids. sobering.
Whenever I see "ballbag" in print I think of Hurricane Bawbag and smile.
Trading Places was the first rated R movie I saw in the theater. My grandmother would take me to see anything.
I do not have travel sports stress tomorrow but I will have teeball, fishing derby, mulching, and babysitting while zwoman goes to a bachelorette party stress.
Had a high school sports/politics discussion with my sister and brother in law over dinner tonight. Parents are fucking awful and ruin sports these days. I'm dreading coaching my daughter in soccer come fall.
She did score seven goals in a 4-5 year old scrimmage tonight though so that's cool.
Also, a guy I've known for 15 years of basketball had a little brother (Marcus Maye) drafted by the Jets in the second round tonight. Tomorrow he'll graduate from the University of Florida. The first member of his family to graduate college. That's a good fucking weekend. Couldn't happen to a better kid.
Jets are a cesspool of sadness, but maybe Marcus can make a difference.
To be clear, my kids play at an independently-run club. Great for my oldest, who is pretty strong. Not so much for my youngest. The guy running the program did a sleight of hand and teased my younger guy, only to land four "recruits" from another club. So the younger guy was offered some sort of "train with us all year and see where it goes" deal, which means asking us to fork over $2 K to let the kid be an afterthought. And FWIW, the kid is 7. His coach actively poaches talented 7 y/o kids from other clubs. That's a real thing. And if it means disappointing a kid who's been loyal, so be it.
To be fair, it's my younger guy's 3rd favorite sport. But still tough to try to explain to a first grader who thought he was invited into something.
adults suck
Drew Pearson is awesome.
Having a hard time id'ing a non-life threatening ailment that is worse for both the child and the parent than croup.
that's ridiculous. you should move to highland park. i've kept my travel team intact from U-8 to U-12. we have some holes but who cares? the best players get to be superstars and the other kids all slowly improve. kids (and parents) don't need that kind of stress in something that's supposed to be fun. and no one's going pro
http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2013/07/09/200401407/episode-471-the-eddie-murphy-rule
I'm at Igors in New Orleans and "Give Up the Funk" is on the juke.
IGORS!!!!!!!!!
igors!
Igor's?
You're about 12-15 hours early for Igor's, Whit. Any fetching lassies doing their laundry?
Just found out my sister's dog has over 900 followers on Instagram. Smh.
Mayhugh- you catch Klitschko-Joshua? I only got the last 5 rounds but it was good. Really good. Showing again on HBO tonight.
In other news, doing dinner and drinks for my brother in law with the other groomsmen. He's getting married next weekend. I'm already planning my Uber escape. Not because I don't like the company, because I'm old and would rather drink on my couch.
Mark - did not watch yet. Still recovering from Chocolatito's loss from last month Plus I tend to stay away from initial airings of Wladimir because it's 90% a clinch-fest. Will catch it on your recommendation. Hopefully there's some bonus shots of Hayden. I love women under 5 feet tall.
I realized I was an old man when drinking on my couch became more appealing than a night out on the town. Similarly, zwoman is at her sister's bachelorette party in lower Manhattan. She too is planning her escape.
Crosby > Ovechkin
Exactly, Z. I used to have to justify not going out on a Friday or Saturday night to myself, and it usually didn't work. Now, no desire to be out past an extended dinner. Still want to get drunk. Just in a quiet, dark home environment.
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