My name is Rob, and I'm an addict. I didn't realize how deep my addiction was until today, but it hit me with full digital force, and I've got some self-reflection to do.
I got a new iPhone from work, and I set about early this morning to activate it in advance of a series of meetings that began at 8:30. I only got as far as the iCloud backup screen before things went south. I couldn't connect to my AppleID, likely because my kids' phones are connected to the same account, and they've somehow created some ungodly intermingling of devices and identities. Even after I reset the account and spent time online with Apple support, I was unable to complete the setup process.
This would've all been fine, except that I'd deactivated my old phone as a part of the process of activating the new one.
Facing a day without immediate gratification via Twitter, and texts, and G:TB, I kinda freaked out. My mood soured, my anger grew, I became irritable and short-tempered. (Contrary to general consensus, this is not my normal workplace persona.)
In all seriousness, I acted like someone in the throes of withdrawal. I spent the better part of the day distracted, unfocused, and annoyed. My mood was dark, and it's only improved now, two strong beers in.
I was finally able to activate my new phone when I returned home in the evening, but technology was not quite done with me.
As I prepared to take my daughter to a friend's house, the GPS system in the car wouldn't allow me to advance past the first screen when attempting to input the destination address. I almost punched the windshield.
Upon my return home, as I was washing dishes after dinner, I knocked the coffee grinder off of the counter, shattering it and rendering it useless. Like me, today.
Then, as I was disposing of a bag of silicon-based coolant that comes with the weekly portion from one of those fancy prepared food delivery services, I dropped it into the toilet, sending a shower of water and chemical particles half-way up my bathroom wall and all over my pants.
Fuck off, modernity. I need to find me a 12-step Luddite group. And sit in a dark place and think about what I've become.
Posts
22 comments:
What prepared meal company do you use? I've toyed with the idea of trying one of only to see how easy/tasty the meals are.
rob, get a hold of yourself! this obft, you're going cold turkey.
mark, we use hello fresh. good variety of food, reasonably easy to prepare, generally tasty. we tried blue apron, but found the meals pretty complicated. i'm a simple man.
i should also note that it's just as easy to make your own damn food, but my wife's working and going to graduate school so i'm not inclined to make that argument to her at this particular moment.
We have a Blue Apron subscription, we're both culinary morons but we can make the meals. Their chicken is often nasty so we substitute our own, but the rest of the meat and produce is good. I don't think it makes any sense financially but it's convenient and I've learned how to make some stuff that I enjoy and never would've tried on my own, like kale.
did you just subtweet me about my inability to make blue apron's way too fucking complicated meals?
I twat no such thing--zwoman selects what we get from Blue Apron and I think she chooses the fastest/easiest recipes. To the extent you find Blue Apron's offerings too complicated, I suggest you direct your iPhone-withdrawal induced angst and rage towards whomever makes your Blue Apron orders.
very lawyerly parsing there, good sir. i know when i've been twatted.
Russell Westbrook is 6 assists away from clinching the triple-double for the season. They're playing the Suns tonight, who he has torched this year (along w/ everybody else, but especially so the Suns). So you should expect that in the second quarter, given the Suns' tankapalooza strategy to end the year. He has 2 assists, 7 minutes into the first quarter, and passed up an easy shot in the paint to throw it to a teammate. He's clearly in assist mode.
The game is on NBA TV right now. I'm curious if the announcers will focus on him getting to 820.
Taylor Negron is dead. I did not know that.
I'm looking forward to Danimal's post on Snoop's party
My 1st grader just finished his rec basketball season this morning. He had two big blocks in the game. The second was against a sports rival frenemy in town. It happened with a minute left, w/ his team up 4, essentially sealing the victory. After that lock, the two started jawing at each other.
After the game, I asked my son what happened. He said "I blocked the shot and then told him 'not in my house'. He didn't like that."
I am the proudest dad ever.
Did he do the Mutumbo finger wag?
No, but he did call a shot during his first little league at-bat...before grounding out to third.
zson had his first teeball at bat today. He hit a good line drive down the third base line but rather than run to first he stood and admired the hit. So he too grounded out to third.
zdaughter likes golf?! She claps when they sink it, otherwise she says "He did not put it in the hole!"
I've caught myself mumbling "Percocet. Molly, percocet" to myself multiple times while in public today.
Also, I'm eating a BLT and truffle fries while drinking a Window Up IPA from Alpine Brewing in a beer garden. Not too shabby.
And now Gloria Estefan is lightly playing over the speakers in this beer garden. So I have to set fire to this place.
that escalated quickly
apparently jordan spieth, when in the pine straw on 13 and trying to decide what club to hit, said to his caddie, 'what would arnie do?' if spieth wins, the collective sportswriter orgasm about that moment will register on the richter scale. but it's a pretty cool story.
WJLP is airing a Lynda Carter era Wonder Woman back to back with S1E1 of Star Trek.
Post a Comment