Saturday, December 06, 2014

Gheorghemas Day 3: Three Scummers Picking

The final weekend on the College Football Season is upon us and frankly, I'm sad. College Football is my favorite sporting season and it also happens to be the shortest. Life is cruel like that sometimes. What am I supposed to make ill advised wagers on now? The NBA? College Basketball? Pffft. (Take Kansas -7.5 and the under in Lakers-Celtics tonight). Well, there's no sense in getting sentimental now. It's better to live, and bet, in the moment.

Wisconsin -4 vs. Ohio State
Despite my disdain for Urban Meyer, I had really begun to like this Buckeye team. JT Barrett was becoming a heck of a QB and I've always enjoyed watching Meyer's spread attack. Of course all that went to shit last weekend when Barrett broke his ankle against Michigan. Brady Hoke ruins everything, including his shirt whenever he eats. Now that Barrett is out, Ohio State turns to its 3rd string QB Cardale Jones. I don't know much about Cardale Jones but I know I'm not putting my money on him to beat Wisconsin. Oh, I also know this might be the greatest tweet ever sent out by a College Football player. On Wisconsin.




Kansas State +7 at Baylor
Baylor started the year like a house on fire, dismantling opponents and lighting up scoreboards. Now, you can attribute some of this to the nation's worst out of conference schedule but there's little denying that they were an offensive juggernaut. They've slowed since early October though as injuries along their OLine and inconsistency with QB Bryce Petty (these things are possibly related) slowed the offense and made Baylor a less impressive team. This is a large reason why the CFB Playoff Committee has them sitting behind TCU in the rankings as they've inexplicably placed the "eye test" above head to head results. Hopefully that won't matter after today and a Kansas State win in Waco. Whether that happens or not, I'm not sure. I will take the points and the Wildcats though.

FSU -4 vs. Georgia Tech
I haven't consistently gotten much right with my CFB wagers this year but I've been on the "bet against FSU" train since Week 2 and it's been very, very good to me. This is the week where I go the other way. Everybody is picking Georgia Tech and nearly universal agreement on an upset is more often than not a bad thing. On top of that, I've been predicting and FSU loss in the CFB Playoff all year, not the ACC Championship. The Seminoles win and cover.

Danimal
Sitting here listening to xmas music post bike-ride. Anyone else put their tree up and decorate it at 730 this morning? No, just my family? Purchased the tree last night at our Costco - $30, 8' tall. Beat that! Trees around here are outrageous, costing a minimum of $70-$80 for an 8-footer anywhere else, and getting well into the hundred for 10+. Fuck that. So I sucked it up and drive to the godforsaken place after work last night (my wife made me). It's about 20/25 miles from my home. It took my 75 minutes to get home, so I was pretty pleased. Told the wife, it's staying on my car tonight - I am NOT effing with it. She didn't press. But this morning she wasn't shy. "Ok, before you go on your ride, can you get the tree, trim bottom, put in stand, blah blah blah?" Sure, doll. So I did. It blew at the time. But it's done and my Saturday morning/afternoon which WAS going to be consumed with tree buying, decorating has been cleared.  I thought you all would like to know that.

Another season bids adieu. Sad that it is over, but I will admit that it will be nice not to sweat out these picks for a few weeks. Yeah, I'm inserting a hiatus in the season until the decent bowl games get started. I need to get my hunger back. Onward.

The lazy pick.
I agree with Mark on Wisconsin. I mean, that's just too risky. A 3rd string QB with 1 game under his belt, or less really. Bur Urban does cause me worry. He's good. Plain and simple. And it's not like Cardale isn't an athlete. But...it's a big unknown. Bet against big unknowns.
Wiscaaaansin

Houston at Cinci -7
Cincinnati is on a roll, winning their last 7 in a row straight up AND against the spread. Their QB Gunner Kiel most know by now is an ND transfer. When he left I thought, "big whoop - we got Golson." I'd like to rethink that now. So Gunner has 28 TD's, 11 INT's, and 2800 yards passing in his first year playing in college. Houston has a Top 10 D - this is a small concern but I will ride this Cinci train anyway. Regardless, this will be a good game to watch so don't pooh pooh it, mmmmkay? Give it a looksy.
Cinci

Florida State vs Ga Tech +4
Early this week, my thoughts were identical to Mark's. FSU is going to make a statement since being dropped to #4 in the polls. But in the last 24 hours I've come back home. FSU has almost lost to every mediocre or better team that they've played. I said early on that there is no way FSU gets through this entire season undefeated. Gosh darn it I am sticking to that edict! Joe-ja Tech is gonna put the sting on the 'Noles.


HI EVERYBODY. It's TJ here. I am a horrendous gambler, and therefore you should in no way use the following picks in real-life. Hell, I barely understand the "laying points" vs. "giving points" concept. So waste your money elsewhere, like on these spiffy socks.

I see Mark and Danimal picked the good games, so I will waste some (very few) words on two sure-to-be-classic contests (not. at. all.)

Fresno State Bulldogs vs. Boise State Broncos (-23.5) ... O/U (69.5)
WOOOOO THE MOUNTAIN WEST CHAMPIONSHIP CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT. You're getting a two-for-one special from me here (mainly because there aren't a lot of games left for me to pick - wait until you see the next choice below). From what I can gather, Boise State could be favored by 40 and folks would be taking them. They are 6-0 ATS at home this year (have been told this acronym means "against the spread"). Must be that god awful blue turf giving them super powers.
And along with being a fratty O/U, when the Broncos undoubtedly drop 50 in this game all we need is a measly three TDs from "the armpit of America"** to top that O/U line. Boise State has dropped 50 or more in four of the past five games - they've won their last two contests by a tidy sum of 113-33 (Wyoming and Utah State = poop emoji). Go all in. Bet the house. Bet the kids. Use your Xmas bonus on this one. Guaranteed sure-fire vinner.
Take Boise, and the Over. 
**please submit other candidates for AofA (armpit of America). my vote goes to Troy-let, NY

One more to come...it's an awful game...


5-6 Temple vs. 3-8 Tulane. Temple's favored by 3.5.
A Sugar Bowl matchup we are most definitely not getting. This game is brutal. What sort of degenerate gambles on the game? Temple has scored one touchdown in THEIR LAST 11 QUARTERS. The only touchdown Tulane has scored in the last two games was a garbage time TD in a 38-7 drubbing at the hands of Memphis. Temple is desperately trying to get win #6 so they can make the Carlsbad Canyonero Bowl - a big feat, since the Owls have only made two bowl games since 1979. But seriously, who the fuck cares about this game, absolutely no one I tell you. Fuck Temple and Fuck Bill Cosby. Take the Green Wave.

76 comments:

Marls said...

Need help from the GTB family: So as a newly minted resident of the DC area with a wife out of town, do I go to Mayor4Life's memorial in the district or do I sit on my ass all day watching football?

rob said...

i'd sit on my ass watching football all day, but the mayor4life's memorial is a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing.

T.J. said...

I will actually be placing a few picks in this post...eventually...

Clarence said...

Marls, if you go make sure you get some crack and use one of these quotes:

http://www.skeptictank.org/barry.htm

rob said...

you'd think that if mark were to give us gambling advice on games that'd already happened, he'd at least give us good advice.

T.J. said...

first of my god awful picks is up

Mark said...

In my defense, Rob (dick) the Lakers-Celtics game hit the under and Florida wasn't going to cover until they hit a 3 with less than 10 seconds left that dropped the lead from 9 to 6 and the Donovan didn't foul. Bad. Beat.

Oh, and I wrote the post yesterday afternoon. EAD, tiny.

Mark said...

Also, I'm eating a lamb burger with a side of pork belly poutine so I won.

rob said...

now that's good advice. i'm eating a hangover.

rob said...

njit is up 4 on michigan with 2 minutes left. zoinks.

rob said...

nerrrrrrrrrrrds!

mayhugh said...

Laughed for a good 8 seconds on "poop emoji"

I'm with Mark on FSU. Feel like they win by 3 td's. I"m thinking it will be the first first half in a while where they don't play with their thumbs up their bums. And they know how to finish games.

Mark said...

I know Baylor beat TCU but shit this point in the season its not close between those two on who's the better team. Hopefully Uncle Bill renders this debate moot.

zman said...

You have to go to Mayor Barry's memorial just so you can say you went. CFB games are all the same--someone wins, someone loses, occasionally there's a tie--but Marion Barry's funeral will be unique and unpredictable.

Mark said...

My iPhone autocorrects st to shit so excuse the error in the last comment. Or don't. Cursing is fun.

rob said...

my daughter's class wrote essays about the pledge of allegience to enter in the local elks club contest. she wrote her essay on the ways that america doesn't have freedom and justice for all, including gays and minorities. i love that kid. really wish i could be there when the elks guy reads it.

we'll work on the balance between loving our country and acknowledging that it could be improved later.

Mark said...

Rob's kid is cool. And smart. She should go to Florida.

mayhugh said...

Rob, you and the wife should be taking some credit. She didn't come up with her views on equality on her own - she's been pulling them from somewhere, most likely the environment she is being raised in.

Mark said...

To be clear Mayhugh, I don't think FSU wins big. I don't think they're nearly as good this year. And Rob's a dick.

mr kq said...

Zona - zaga bringing it.

Mark said...

A bottle of Sambuca broke in our garage last night. The garage now reeks of Sambuca. Suboptimal.

Danimal said...

Sambuca. Most people have a tequila story that prohibits them from looking at the stuff. Mine is Sambuca.

Mark said...

TJ- I'm watching Tulane-Temple and I may have thrown it into a parlay. So there's your answer.

Mark said...

You would not enjoy the flavor of my garage, Danimal.

Danimal said...

I propose next year we rotate picks. I'll set it up.

zman said...

I can't drink sambuca either due to a high school incident. Can't eat licorice as a result.

Danimal said...

High school here too. Rob might be interested in knowing the party was at the esteemed Russ Potts household across the street from Handley High School. The death almost occurred on the 50 yard line of the fb field. Good times.

Mark said...

Ohio State: Not fucking around.

Danimal said...

Osu....dayumm.

Marls said...

Canyonerooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Marls said...

Nice win for SJU tonight over Cuse in the Dome. Fuck Jimmy B.

Mark said...

Virginia put it on VCU. Virginia good.

TR said...

Yours truly and Juan Catlos at the annual Xmas pool club party. There are drunken white men in tuxedos dancing to Bust a Move. Kinda sad, but kinda awesome.

TR said...

Catlos = Carlos = whatever.

Mark said...

Why do men wear tuxedoes to an Xmas pool party?

Mark said...

Oh, fuck you Florida State.

T.J. said...

Told Ya I was bad at gamblin.

zman said...

I boycott that party because of the tuxes. And because my liver can't withstand an additional Xmas party.

rob said...

shaping up to be a tough day for the big 12, no?

zman said...

I know nothing about college football, but the 4 team playoff system has been completely vindicated, right? The #1 and #2 teams have a shot to win it all, as does the defending champion who happens to be the only undefeated team in the country. We can debate who the fourth playoff team should be, but in my inexpert view there are three teams that deserve, and will get, a shot at the title.

rob said...

texas may secede.

TR said...

I was overserved last night.

zman said...

Yet another positive outcome of the 4 team playoff system.

zman said...

Alka Seltzer TR. It's stunningly effective.

zman said...

The NFL took mercy on the Tri state area and flexed the jest and Jints so that they play at the same time.

TR said...

Pick six against Geno on his first snap. Jetstastic.

rob said...

i'm at the combination pizza hut and taco bell

zman said...

Imodium. It's stunningly effective.

rob said...

you know what else is stunningly effective? le'veon fucking bell.

zman said...

zson just apologized for a tantrum. Progress.

rob said...

apparently jeff fisher sent the six players the rams selected with the rg3 draft picks out as captains for the coin toss today. fannnnntastic.

Marls said...

Mini summit starting up in Tysons Corner.

Clarence and the KQ's. Sounds like a college band.

Marls said...

Joe Buck's beard looks like somebody smeared a turd on his face.

Troy Aikman's beard is a model that "lives in Canada".

rob said...

golf clap, marls.

Danimal said...

Bravo, Jeff Fisher. Bravo.

Danimal said...

And in contrast to zson, our 2 year old just told her mom she is so annoying. Parents -1.

Danimal said...

Again, she's 2.

Dave said...

god that list is funny. does your daughter want to write for SoD?

zman said...

Someone gave Joe Buck a Dirty Sanchez before the Eagles game?

Marls said...

The dirty Troy.

Mark said...

I hope everyone has seen the hat Von Miller wore post game tonight.

Marls said...

Cowboy cafe late night.

Marls said...

Rob is missed.

Next time you need to be here.

mr kq said...

So fun hanging with some frat boys this eve.

Clarence said...

Hey, Mr. KQ, great boozing with you, dick.

mr kq said...

I'm telling John Howe.

mr kq said...

Also, I'm done with Tom Brady and his rah rah bullshit. Reminds me of Marls and his Giants shtick tonight.

Marls said...

Redskins chug.

Clarence said...

The 69th comment is always the funniest.

Day 4?

mayhugh said...

I think the playoff system largely worked in its first year. It did not seem to encroach on the regular season. Arguably the regular season was important for more teams for a longer period. I am still a proponent of limiting the number of teams to four - would hate to see the smaller teams, coaches and fanbases deprived of having their day to play and be represented on national tv.

rob said...

i don't understand your last sentence. how would enlarging the playoff deprive anyone of anything? i'll hang up and listen.

mr kq said...

All kidding aside, it was a stone groove last night with the crew. And big ups to Marls for picking up the tab while Clarence and I weren't looking.

zman said...

When I find the guy who laid down this permanent fog of stinky farts in my office, I'm going to kick his ass.

mr kq said...

The best man in our wedding did the SF North Face 50 miler this wknd in 9:51. If you want to be inspired on a Monday give One Arm Willie a google.

mayhugh said...

Rob - I'm late on this. I'm working under the assumption that any expanding the playoff field would happen without expanding the number of bowls. If that's an incorrect assumption, then I withdraw my statement. I would not be into cutting into the bowl pool for non-playoff teams. If they expanded the playoff and consequently the # of bowls also increased, well that's more football and everyone wins.

zman said...

Why not keep the number of bowls constant and just take four more non playoffs teams?