The same holds true for soda marketers, fighting against a seemingly inexorable tide of health-conscious imbibers who've forsaken the tried and true sugarwater for "healthy" smoothies and glorified tapwater. Coca Cola Black Cherry Vanilla, anyone?But today, we celebrate the truly inspired flavor geniuses at Mountain Dew. Not content with pushing the soda envelope to Orange Citrus Kickstart Mtn Dew or Mountain Dew Voltage (we assume it comes with a Ritalin drip), they've broken the heretofore theoretically impenetrable food/drink boundary.
Friends, we give you Doritos flavored Mountain Dew.
Do not adjust your blog settings. Do not look around for Alan Funt. Do pull that trashcan closer in an effort to catch the inevitable vomit that's about to erupt from that place in your intestines that's smarter than your brain.
Yet another example of the tried, true, and so often forgotten truism that just be
cause you can do something doesn't mean you should. And what's worse, the marketing mavens at Pepsi have branded this Frankensteinian monstrosity 'Dewitos', which sounds like a combination of baby talk and duck digits.
We've got an early frontrunner for the winner of next year's Scary Story Contest.
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66 comments:
who is going to review this beverage for us?
rob - to your climate comment yesterday, we will get into the 30's the next two evenings.
I picked a dandy of a Skins game to attend. They are putrid. Again. Or still, whichever.
Bus trip up and back and luxury suite accommodations made the bitter pill easier to swallow.
The kind of stuff that you want to smoke blunts with, take pictures, like Alan Funt would.
there are those in the know that suggest this weekend's tribe/richmond contest is a de facto play-in game.
Spiders got squashed by the Dukes last weekend, eh? Tribe needs to keep running Abdul-Saboor.
more on the climate commentary - tornado WARNING through 2:00 pm. So there's that. Should have driven the Storm Chaser today.
The Danimator? Any touch down?
just catching up-- book reviews!
i put a link to my review of the best sentence in the leyner book. aside from that sentence, it's a tough one to finish.
i loved "the art of fielding," there's a plot between the yips-- might be worth finishing . . .
if you're having trouble finishing books, try a don winslow thriller.
The storm came through here quite quickly. I'm on the 6th floor at the beach with my window facing due north. I took 4-5 pics, 5 min apart from one another. In 20 minutes it was here and gone but apparently did some damage in other parts of town. Someone just told me an 18-wheeler is on one of the big bridges in town leaning on its side. Surfers have returned to the water. It's 100% pure adrenalin.
Cleveland has completed 55.5% of their passes, worst in the league (and at least 3.2% worse than everyone else but the Jest), but they average 14 yards per completion, best in the league (by a significant 1.0 yard margin). Of players with 5 or more receptions, Cleveland has 3 of the top 9 in terms of yards per catch. I don't know what to make of this but I'm sure it will somehow bite Buffalo in the ass in two weeks.
I assume Marls or TR are the prime nominees to try this flavored beverage?
I divorced the Washington Football team today. Fans pushed me over the edge. I'll still have to listen to them but I think I can tolerate them knowing I have no ongoing stake. Still evaluating replacements; until then, I'm like Klosterman.
he stopped loving herrrrrrrr today
So in the last two years rob and Mayhugh have forsaken the Redskins, and TR has tossed in the towel on the Knicks. I'm impressed.
I am at the saddest bar in Dallas. It's in a strip mall next to a restaurant in North Dallas where I have a work dinner. Two 50-ish dudes next to me went from talking about the pop acts that were in Band Aid (name-dropping both Simon LeBon and Oingo Boingo) to talking about Rocky Mountain Oysters. One says they're really good and one says "I don't eat balls." Riveting stuff.
It's sad that dude doesn't eat balls?
Interesting stat on the Cleveland passing game. You'd have to imagine their yards per completion goes up a bit with the return of Josh Gordon. I'm (somewhat) intrigued to see what they can become with him in the lineup. Easy to forget how good he was last year with QBs not even as good as Hoyer (who's pretty average) throwing to him.
I should divorce the Bucs but I'm not going to. If I can make through my childhood Bucs fandom then this is cake.
If Pitt shits the bed in their last 6 or so games, is Tomlin toast? Not an ideal time for him to go to the only natural job he'd have, being an Omar Epps impersonator.
Have the Rooneys ever fired a coach?
Mettenberger and Coffman sounds like a law firm.
I'm not divorcing the Skins, either. They deserve it, but my boycott of them would be unfelt by Snyder and would make my autumn Sundays worse. Fuck you, Danny Boy, you won't ruin the fun for me.
I see a guy drinking a Michelob Ultra, and I am silently judging him. You can't do that. Go Coors Light if you have to, but not Ultra.
I am in another sad bar, the lobby bar at the Westin where I am staying. Girls appear to be allergic to the place.
It's worth mentioning that I listen to music, not sports talk radio. I read only a few select stories about them. I'm not inundated with the bullshit melodrama. I tune in Sundays in my den with between 1 and 12 other longtime Skins fans, bitching and bemoaning this crap team over many beers and tasty apps. With expectations in the cellar, I do get pissed when I'm watching but it fades.
It's really quite a healthy relationship I have with them these days. Minus the rampant drinking and wing-eating and sitting around.
Stop making excuses, Clarence. You support a team owned by an Injun hater.
Just kidding, of course.
What's the deal with Big Ben's choker? Is he covering up a trach pipe?
TR, no chance to go to Deep Ellum? I couldn't stand my work trips to Dallas until I discovered that neighborhood, which was 100 times better than the others combined.
No chance, sadly, although I have been able to find some good nooks that are very fun, such as Katy Trail Ice House.
I have read a lot about Deep Ellum and never been there. Shame on me, although I rarely get big pockets of time for fun. I should get there, if only b/c of the Grateful Dead reference.
Why didn't Tennessee go for it there? They were at Pitt's 45-ish yard line and punted to the 20.
Steve Young's post-game comments on MNF are consistently funny. Even though he doesn't try to be.
My 6-year old is up in arms because we are making him wear long pants to school today. It will be his first day this year of having to do so.
It was 23 degrees when I woke up. And the tv told me it actually felt like 13. We're on our way today all the way up to the temp at which water freezes.
Yeah, once November gets here, all temps feel 10 degrees lower, minimum. I guess it's the humidity? Maybe long-time resident and closet meteorologist Mark can enlighten us.
It is Chillllll-eeee!
Virginia is the most fragile state in the Union--a gust of wind can knock the power out and the entire Commonwealth shuts down because it >>might<< snow later in the day. As a result, Virginians are the softest of all Americans, softer than a baby's bottom. I and my fellow Yankee jackass colleagues scoff at your 23-but-feels-like-13-degree weather. Children are still wearing shorts in my neighborhood. Seriously. Ask TR. It's like a badge of honor among the middle school boys to see who can wear shorts in the coldest weather.
new jersey, obviously, is the dumbest state in the union.
somewhere, nbapa and nflpa management are in a meeting saying, 'how the fuck does the mlbpa get all the glengarry leads?'
Leading the league in teen pneumonia, though. You can never take that away from them.
Rob, my stirring portrayal of Shelly "The Machine" Levene in Glengarry when we lived on Matoaka court that summer was instrumental in my comeback story to graduate when nobody said I could do it. In fact, a young Jack Lemmon would do justice to the Clarence character in my story if ever put two film. Which, frankly, is overdue, if judging only by the fact that Lemmon is dead.
the thing i love most about clarence is his unique ability to take a story and make it about someone else. dude hates being the center of attention.
NJ is clearly the dumbest state in the union, that's why we send so many kids to W&M.
you send a lot to longwood, too. what's your point, that your state universities suck, so you have to export your kids?
can you tell that i'm in the middle of authoring my performance review self-assessment and doing anything i can to avoid doing it? the self-loathing, it burns.
I have recently been made aware of the (not kidding) very close association between the kids in the gifted classes and the kids in the special education classes. What often separates them is only the social component of their behavior. It's actually pretty fascinating, and it's part of what tech companies and even NASA have found success hiring individuals with autism to do programming and other behind-closed-doors operations.
So maybe the Jersey kids are not savvy enough to put on a coat but are smart and can score well on tests, so you're both right.
Dave would be prime example number one of this.
Deep Ellum and Lower Greenville are both worth a visit, TR.
It's cold and wet here today. Hugh's in the 50s. I don't care for it. I am getting crab soup for dinner though so that's cool.
It's definitely all about what you're used to. My uncle from Phoenix brings a windbreaker when he visits VA in June. Last time I was in NY was in February and it was miserably cold.
Some of us Virginians freak out when it 'might' snow because we know we will be trapped in our homes or on the highway because many of our fellow DMV residents don't know how to drive in even the smallest of accumulations and will be gumming up the works for the rest of us.
If it would be helpful rob, I'm happy to provide input on your review regarding my most recent interaction with your employer. Or should I say attempted interaction? Let me know if there's a dial-in for your review meeting with your boss.
And I appreciate that Mayhugh. The summer humidity in DC makes me wilt into a sweaty pile of complaints.
hey, i got some shit done in that interaction, z. just couldn't overcome the buzzsaw of corporate entropy.
tribe hosts howard this evening. hope we can put a full team on the floor.
Entropy or apathy?
it's not a lack of caring; rather, it's a function of size begetting chaos. once a system gets too big, it begins to break down.
i may be talking out of my ass.
I'd say Rob's comment there was also directed at me, but that would be self-aggrandizing once again, so I will not.
i see you, clarence.
I'd make an in-state joke but I'm not sure if you were in-state or not.
Cal Ripken Jr. is morphing into Steve Wilkos.
Holy crap. Guy in front of me at an airport Starbucks ordered five shots of espresso in a tall cup.
Hopefully it's not your pilot! Ha! Am I right or what?
one of my soccer players (9 years old) was wearing shorts yesterday. he's probably the smartest kid on the team. seriously.
and i was in the gifted program in school. someone is still regretting that decision (but at least NASA didn't hire me).
So Dick Vitale is still workin heh?
Robs favorite turbo charged octopus had 9 steals today. That's good, right?
sheesh. that's decent.
on the opposite side of the ledger, the usmnt got smoked by ireland, 4-1, in a friendly in dublin. not our top side by any stretch, but that's a pretty dismal result.
that gives weber 295 career steals. the ncaa record, held by john linehan of providence, is 385. vcu has at least 30 more games this season, so weber needs to average 3 a game to break the all-time mark. he averaged 3.5/game last year.
we need to make a turbocharged octopus steal-o-meter.
who's on point for filler tomorrow? i got nothing.
northeastern's giving florida state all they want, in tallahassee. every other caa team has managed to stink on ice thus far this season.
tribe tried really hard to blow a 17-point half-time lead before holding off howard by 7. tough shooting night by our guy marcus, though he led the good guys with 14. got outrebounded by the bison, which might become a theme.
Entenmann's frosted devils food donuts are made with crack or crank. I could eat all eight in the box in one sitting.
didn't see that coming, z.
For those of you who may care, that is Jim James and My Morning Jacket doing "This Land is Your Land" on that cool North Face commercial.
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