Monday, December 05, 2011

The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas are back

That's right, our highly successful faux holiday has returned. Though this year more than ever it seems destined to not make it a full twelve days. Sit back, relax, throw on some "Christmas Shoes"...and let your Gheorghe-mas begin:

On the first day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me... 
One Doofus on a Fake Pony


Can someone start working on a Day 2 now? Thanks.

97 comments:

Danimal said...

nice pony.

some intriguing bowl match-ups, and none of them on new year's day. in fact, no bowls period on new year's day.

zman said...

Is that a hot tub in the background?

T.J. said...

Yessir. Apprently state fairs are great places to buy hot tubs.

Danimal said...

did you cause the hot tub to collapse?

T.J. said...

Yes.

Dennis said...

My favorite part of Gheorghe-mas is the lack of any sense of rhythm/timing/cadence right out of the gate. We disrespect syllables as if they're the man trying to keep us down. And the best part is that this will, of course, be the last phrase chanted when the song is completed - leaving listeners with an awkward, slightly uncomfortable, and unfulfilled sensation as they walk away. Not unlike how I imagine most girls felt when they left a Unit M party.

T.J. said...

Y U NO LIKE SYLLABLES?

zman said...

One of my great regrets is that my idea for a hot tub party never came to fruition.

T.J. said...

But you got that hot tub time machine built, so that was pretty good.

zman said...

I told you not to open that envelope!

TR said...

NY Day is an NFL Sunday, so I understand why there's nothing that day. Can't remember the last time that happened, but I would bet the NCAA moved games then too. Not that NY Day bowl games mean anything anymore...

Hot tub would have meant staph infections galore, especially with the women who would've jumped in there.

zman said...

Many people repeatedly shot the idea down citing financial costs and health risks. Those people were (are?) pussies. A good frat party should involve expensive amounts of booze and health hazards ... and girls in bathing suits wouldn't hurt.

Danimal said...

good times.

http://tinyurl.com/7au7qu2

Mark said...

You're right, TR. Any time NY day falls on a Sunday, all the NY day bowl games are pushed back to Jan. 2nd. Which is awesome. Two straight days filled with football, booze and laziness.

Danimal said...

'06 would have been the last time ny day fell on a sunday.

i presume a hot tub/bath tub party at pi lam or any other w&m frat would have looked similar to the previously submitted link.

Geoff said...

Can I keep my shirt on in the hot tub? I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

Jerry said...

I think Tebow is going to go to the Pro Bowl. And shocking, he's going to deserve it. The healthy AFC QB field is remarkably thin. Except for Roethlisberger's face which gets fatter and wider with every passing day.

Jerry said...

Geoff "HT" Butt!

zman said...

You cannot Geoff, at least not if you're tubbing with me.

And yes, Danimal, the fatal flaw with the hot tub party likely would have been the dearth of women willing to tub with us, resulting in something similar to your video (minus the soap bubbles). Sometimes I liked to pretend that I went to a real school where people had fun on the weekends and did stupid stuff in hot tubs, instead of facing the truth (which was that I went to a fake school where it rained every weekend and the power went out and people were then forced to study all Saturday night by the light of candles that were hand-made from pig tallow by a fake colonial woman down the street.)

T.J. said...

Matt Stafford's face is very slowly morphing into Quagmire's giant dome.

And Stafford probably violates woman as often as Glenn...giggity.

Danimal said...

the studs in the tub had a couple of hotties (not so much) wanting to get in with them. they turned them down...fast forward to the end to see.

Danimal said...

did anyone see roethlisberger's post-game interview yesterday? he had one of those hip hats on, ya know the kind the likes of justin timberlake and usher wear. averaged sized men with average sized melons, but off the charts with coolness. yeah, ben was wearing one of those. yeah.

rob said...

danimal loves big ben.

i'm guessing most leading sports/culture/mustache/idiot/polyp blogs don't have much occasion to use 'pig tallow' in their comment threads. except, obviously, 'pig tallow fancy'.

rob said...

i confess that my disdain for the bcs is running neck and neck with my excitement for alabama in the championship game.

TR said...

College football is such a disaster that it's not even amusing to discuss it any more.

And this has been one of the most lackluster seasons I can remember. Nobody has shined in the race for the Heisman, LSU has been the only truly dominant team and other potential spoilers (OSU, Boise, Wisconsin) shat the bad at inopportune times.

NCAA Football: great from September to November, irritating and disappointing in December and January.

Jerry said...

I'm 100% unsatisfied with this year's national championship situation, but I think people will come around on everything once the games start up again.

The BCS games are solid, the title game will be good. Wisconsin-Oregon and Stanford-OK State are fantastic matchups.

Somehow Ohio State and Florida are playing on 1/2 and they're playing each other which is awesome. Penn State-Houston is interesting.

The Chick Fil-A (Peach) Bowl, normally one of my favorites is a bit disappointing though - UVA/Auburn.

Geoff said...

My iphone autocorrect's my last name to "Butt" and also autocorrects the acronym for the National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) to "Mecca." Other than that, its awesome and I'd like to make sweet love to it like Chris Parnell did to the car in this ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5sOCEUpGZI

zman said...

1. What about Case Keenum?

2. Geoff's Butt autocorrect is too easy. But I love the idea of a Manchurian Islamofascistterrorista embedded in the NRCC, Mecca and The Soul Brother style.

3. This could be a big reason why the BCS won't change: every year around this time people piss and moan about who got what bowl berth, when the games are on, who got screwed, etc., and this constant stream of piss and moans keeps college football on the forefront of discussion, maintaining its relevancy, and thereby perpetuating its idiocy. Like G:TB.

Jerry said...

The reason there's no playoff is inertia. It's not money or hype or academics or strain on the players. If there were a playoff, the hype would be greater, the money would be bigger.

The power in college football is not centralized - it's distributed across many parties each with their own interests. It's difficult to change all of that.

Personally, I'm anti-playoff for a few reasons, so this is generally fine by me. I've come around to tolerance of a 4 team playoff, but anything bigger than that would fundamentally change college football. And not for the better IMO.

rob said...

i would think the logic of a playoff system appeals to your spock-like nature.

Jerry said...

I'm generally against large playoff fields because I think the best team should win the championship and adding teams to the post-season reduces the likelihood that will happen.

I'm against it in baseball. The NBA is fine because the better team wins NBA playoff series, but round 1 is a waste.

The idea of anybody below Oregon (#5) getting a chance to win the national championship doesn't sit well with me. We already played the season and those teams showed that they aren't the best team.

Georgia is currently #16. They'd play LSU in round 1 in a 16 team playoff (which is where it would go once the door was opened). IMO they don't deserve another crack at LSU with everything on the line. Kansas State, Michigan, Virginia Tech, Clemson, Oklahoma -- these teams don't deserve a chance at the title.

I'm a proponent of the regular season. This is why I don't think Alabama should be in the game.

Jerry said...

More than anything though, I think a playoff would have negative consequences for the regular season in college football in ways that it's difficult to appreciate. And I really like the regular season in college football.

rob said...

fair enough, but how do you feel about the college basketball tournament. fewer than half of the teams that make the 68 have any real chance of winning the tournament.

i think we might see some impact to the regular season, though i have a hard time really figuring out what it might be. we're only talking about going from 2 teams to 4 or 8 (16 is a pipe dream). how much impact would that have on the regular season for 99% of the country?

Igor said...

Jerry has brought me around through the years on maintainng the importance of the CFB regular season. To have watched Michigan foil the Buckeyes' championship hopes on a November Saturday In 1995 -- and see the pain and devastation it caused in Evan's and other fans' winter plans, what with no playoffs to redeem them . . . well, I see it.

Ultimately, though, with that many D-I programs out there, a playoff eliminates the inescapable problem of hypotheticals standing in for results. I'd think 4 or 8 teams would suffice but I wouldn't argue against 16, since that would just mean more good football to watch.

Jerry said...

The NCAA tournament is extremely entertaining, kind of dumb, and very convenient.

Entertaining: Obviously

Dumb: It's an absurd way to select a champion. A team that goes 34-2 has to play a single game elimination against a team with 13 loses on a neutral court? Ridiculous. Last year's final four wasn't even close to the best four teams in basketball.

Convenient: Since everyone who's anyone makes the tournament and there's very little advantage given to regular season success, we're able to consolidate an entire season into 10 days of action.

I also think it's vastly buoyed by gambling interest, much like the NFL. Let's face it, nobody is interested in the 7/10 Georgia Tech-Xavier game without bracket.

zman said...

It appears to my untrained eye that the usual "problem" with the college football championship game revolves around the identity of the second-best team. It seems like it's always clear who the #1 team is, and the debate is whether the other team in the game should be there or some third party. Would it be too stupid to have a #2 vs. #3 play-in game to determine who should play for the title? So Bama vs. OSU, winner gets to play LSU?

Geoff said...

W&M student body...this is what rock bottom looks like:

http://gawker.com/5865053/scene-outside-college-library-looks-like-walmart-on-black-friday

zman said...

One of the more amazing (and depressing) aspects of Geoff's video is that the kids appear to be wearing the exact same stuff that W&M students wore when I got there 19 years ago. The same LL Bean monogrammed backpacks with reflective strips. The same Umbros. The same mid-calf-length denim skirts over black wool tights. The same scrunchies. The same high-waisted tapered jeans. The same amorphous sweatshirts. The place is a fucking black hole of style. It's like a hot tub time machine stuck on 1988.

Danimal said...

a plus 1 or 2 just makes sense despite being in agreement with most of jers' points. one thing that grinds my gears is the fact that should 'bama win they will be crowned despite the outcome of their first contest with lsu. and if they are given co-champ status, well, that grinds the fuck out of my gears. i'd just like to get away from the gear grinding. and this year, it's not impossible that okla state could sneak in if they beat the beteejus out of stanford (i think they'll win by 2 touchdowns which by my def isn't a beteejus beating), and 'bama wins in some shitshow of a game. possible like the jags being in the super bowl possible but possible.

rob said...

consider a scenario where a team loses a stud quarterback (linebacker, tailback, d-tackle, etc.) for two games in september, goes 0-2, and then blows the doors off of everyone else the rest of the way. that team's fucked in the current system, and their regular season means shit after two weeks, but they might well be one of the top 8, and might in fact be the best team in the nation at season's end. think of the children, dammit.

Danimal said...

and speaking of shitshow.

Danimal said...

shitshow referring to video clip. if you put that in black in white it could be a scene from a horror movie. as rob would say, the fuck?
and i bet a few of you just saw the library for the first time.

T.J. said...

Gheorghe-mas Day 1: a mini-referendum on the college football playoff topic.

It's so nice to have Gheorghe-mas back...

Danimal said...

and teejus.

rob said...

if i'm not mistaken, we have this conversation every year around this time. it's like the salmon flocking to capistrano.

come to think of it, i probably make the same dumb n' dumber joke. which is like the metasalmon flocking to metacapistrano.

T.J. said...

I'm naming my child "Beteejus".

rob said...

baconbaking is with child? awesome! congratulations.

T.J. said...

I'm naming my child, whenver I have a child, "Beteejus".

Unless there is something I haven't been told, there is no Gheorghe-mas miracle of lil teej...

zman said...

And when he says "lil teej" he isn't being humble ... he's Irish.

T.J. said...

Angry half-inch

rob said...

interrupting this important conversation with a political comment: if you have a rational bone in your body, you'll hope john huntsman gets the gop nomination so we can have an election contested by adults about ideas, rather than the circus freakshow we're likely to get with any other gop nominee.

carry on making fun of teej's wiener. such as it is.

T.J. said...

http://bit.ly/u4R2lN

zman said...

Oh word?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q0UIsPiV8Dw/TmhWzzNU7zI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/ybdamMBxTQo/s1600/jon+huntsman+family+4.JPG

rob said...

and z, i totally saw a dc shoe backpack in that crowd of tribesters. kids are hip as shit.

zman said...

Let me try this again.

Oh word? Jon Huntsman's family looks like a circus to me.

http://tinyurl.com/7z652dt

rob said...

right. forgot about the big love aspect of the race if huntsman wins the nomination.

Danimal said...

that thar is a real large family.

on the 1st day of xmas, i received a directtv app for my phone. it enables me to record television programs. remotely. #getsome

Shlara said...

There should be a college FB playoff--we figured it out for I-AA, the I-A teams can do it too.

And that Gawker video of the libraray....SERIOUSLY???

rob said...

misspelling? four periods in an ellipsis? someone should've spent a little more time in that there libraray.

rob said...

forgot the #elitistsnob hashtag on my last comment. my bad.

rob said...

and teej, every day should be gheorgemas - look at the comment count.

Danimal said...

or did you mean #elitistknob

zman said...

Actually, an ellipsis should have four periods when used at the end of a sentence to indicate the omission of the end of a quoted sentence. For instance, "My friend rob is short tempered." becomes "My friend rob is short ...."

Danimal said...

everyone xcited about the jags/chargers game tonight?

rob said...

not according to the g:tb stylebook, z.

that goes for the jags/chargers game, too.

rob said...

danimal, i lead our mutual friend buck marston of the columbus marstons by 30 points in our fantasy gridiron competition going into tonight's action. he has phillip rivers and vincent jackson. something to keep you entertained, as i'm sure the game won't.

Dave said...

jesus. can someone write a summary of these comments. this is too much too handle after a long monday.

Geoff said...

Rob, please take your Jon Huntsman crap and sell it to your left of center liberal elitists elsewhere. He's not a fucking adult and he isn't all that smart.

All the GOP candidates suck equally in their own unique ways.

Dave said...

and t.j. "pony" is already trochaic in meter, so why did you throw in the word "fake"? it screws up the rhythm, and it's apparent in the picture that the pony is fake.

i like the fact that you've set the bar low.

Danimal said...

i think dave meant teejus. can you do that for dave teejus?

rob said...

adult is a relative term here, geofferson.

Danimal said...

insert , after dave. sorry rob.

rob - that will keep me entertained a bit more, thank you kindly. the best of luck to both of you.

rob said...

and isn't 'left of center liberal elitists' a bit redundant?

rob said...

more comments for the teejus!

zman said...

Huntsman could win if he could get all his kids to vote for him.

T.J. said...

Dearest Dave:

Blow me.

-Father Gheorghe-mas

Mark said...

The Gheorghemas season seems to have soured the Teej a little more than usual. Chin up buddy. I'm sure Christmas Eve in Washington will be playing within earshot of you soon.

T.J. said...

That's my jam

Geoff said...

Huntsman is inept. Mittens is equally as adult as Huntsman though he's slightly more Mormon. Right now, barring a almost certain implosion, Newt is pretty much teed up to cruise to the nom. First three primaries are IA, NH, SC and FL. Newt is leading in 3 of the four. If it plays out that way and he wins IA, SC and FL, its over after FL.

This will be just like when we nominated McCain. We'll all wake up one day and think "how the fuck did we nominate this fuckstick?"

Igor said...

It's like the DNC of the 1980's. Mike Dukakis and Walter Mondale send their Gheorghemas wishes.

Igor said...

I think I'll go with:

And a doofus on a po-ny


First usage of "trochaic" in G:TB comments?

rob said...

no, i'm quite sure dave, or almighty yojo, or greasetruck sought to impress us with his/their vocabulary at some previous point.

Igor said...

Speaking of which, we visited the greasetrucks in New Brunswick Saturday night. Very pleased with my old school performance: a cheesesteak with egg and a Fat Cat. Delicious.

Marls brought the heat and took down 2 sandwiches as well. I'll never know how Man v Food's Adam got 4-plus down.

TR said...

I can't wait to hear Newt respond to "why did you leave your cancer-strickent wife" questions. Should be fun.

On the other hand, Bobby Moynihan plays Newt on SNL, so he will get more airtime if the Newtster gets the nod.

zman said...

Gingrich can't get the nomination. Too much baggage and iowans are too smart to do that.

Dave said...

maybe the first time i saw two people in my party down two sandwiches apiece at the greasetrucks . . .

Igor said...

I'm heavy enough to be two people.

Danimal said...

You are not heavy Igor. You are my brother.

T.J. said...

This:

http://bit.ly/u93Jhr

Danimal said...

Gabbert equals pussy

Igor said...

Danny boy, I forgot to wish you sincere congrats on putting the missus in the family way. Nice work.

Igor said...

Given the way dollar bills flutter and float to the ground, shouldn't it be "making it snow" instead of "making it rain"?

Danimal said...

Rob....have you lost yet?

zman said...

If you haven't read the Big Ghost Chronicles review of Drake's new album, do so immediately. It's piss-your-pants funny.

rob said...

not quite, danimal, though it's only a matter of time. fortunately, both of us were already locked into our playoff positions.

playoffs?!?!?

rob said...

now i've lost. i'm a loser,

Danimal said...

As r the jags. Wow.