Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Swedish Chef Chronicles

In honor of my favorite Muppets character (and that's saying something – so many great fuzzy folks from which to choose: Gonzo, Fozzie, Statler & Waldorf, Animal, Beaker, Rolf, Snuffleupagus…I digress), this week’s Hoops Wednesday will be served smorgasbord-style.

The sporting public welcomes Dick Vitale back to the broadcast booth tonight, and where better than Tobacco Road to ease him quietly and innocuously back into the limelight. Should be a reserved affair in Chapel Hill, replete with dignified, understated honoraria. G:TB, for one, is glad to have him back, even as we'll now return to mocking the clown prince. In a tangentially related note, my oldest daughter has to undergo a medical procedure tomorrow (minor, not to worry) that requires us to deprive her of sleep. I'll be introducing her to the Duke/Carolina rivalry and fielding questions about why that man is screaming so much.

In our second item, we ponder the recently retired Bob Knight. It should come as no surprise that G:TB isn't in the habit of making contributions to Knight's legal fund. He's everything we despise: a bullying, self-aggrandizing dick. His supporters will claim that he was successful on balance and instilled discipline and a sense of right and wrong in his players. As Marge Schott is wont to recall, Hitler did some good things, too. And Mussolini made the trains run on time. Sometimes, the ends don't justify the means. Good riddance.

Moving on to a subject we know absolutely nothing about, G:TB is scratching its collective head today about the Shaq-to-Phoenix deal. The poster boy for immovable objects meets the standard-bearer for movement, pace, and spacing. That seems...odd.

Finally, and far more importantly, the surging William and Mary Tribe hosts the Flying Dutchmen (okay, Pride - Salesgenie.com called and told us that Dutchmen is derogatory) of Hofstra this evening. W&M's looking to go 9-3 in conference play, while Hofstra's struggling at 4-7. The Pride does have the CAA's top scorer and arguably best player in Antoine Agudio, but they're young and/or inexperienced just about everywhere else. Even at home, this one has trap written all over it. Fingernail biting to commence at 7:00

And with that, furpdemoergen, borpoogloergen, put the piggy in the ooven.

12 comments:

T.J. said...

SUPER SCINTILLATING SENSATIONAL...

rob said...

"daddy, what's a diaper dandy?"

Dennis said...

Imagine if Vitale comes back but, as a result of his surgery, has one of those robotic voice boxes instead of his old voice....

Seriously, rattle off a classic "Awesome with a capital A!" in that monotone digitization and tell me you don't laugh out loud.

Greg said...

Instead of joining the Fighting Wrenflock, I will be in the Smith Center (or is it the Dean Dome) tonight.

T.J. said...

How did you score those tickets Gregory? And how drunk, on a Greg scale of 1-10, will you be by tip-off?

T.J. said...

The Tribe's RPI is 149? Whit is in serious trouble.

Jerry said...

I like Bob Knight because he's funny.

rob said...

tribe rolls on, and if georgia state can upset vcu (just went overtime) the green and gold are tied for first in the conference. dogs and cats, living in sin.

TR said...

Did anybody see the sign that the sideline reporter held up at the UNC-Duke game? It was a "WANTED" poster with Gerald Henderso's face on it. Under the photo, it said he was wanted for Assault, Battery and "Public Duechebaggery" (sp?).

Not sure why she thought it was a good idea to hold up that sign on national TV. Too bad the TV producers don't read things that the cameramen point at either. I guess they REALLY wanted to sneak in the story that Tyler and Gerald played pick-up ball this summer.

TR said...

One other weird TV note - They had the US-Mexico soccer game on ESPN2. During the national anthem, they panned in on a member of Uncle Sam's Army who was absolutely bawling his eyes out. It was fairly disturbing. They even went back to the guy so all 2,000 people in the US watching the game on TV could see how odd it was.

And in the first half, they panned around the crowd at a stoppage of play and slowly zoomed in on a guy holding up a "Don't Tread on Me" flag. What the production crew missed was the guy giving the double-bird to the camera for 5 straight seconds. You stay classy, USA!

rob said...

as i noted over at drunk and stupid, the espn telecast was blacked out in acc country last night, so the one time i actually wanted to hear dickie vee, i would up stuck with billy packer. cool.

i did manage to see all 4 goals in the soccer game during my channel flipping. pretty entertaining footie - shame nobody saw it.

T.J. said...

I ate the new Wendy's fish fillet last night. It was pretty good.