Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Who knew the Devil Rays media guide could be so entertaining?

Lost in all the Dice-K hooplah this offseason was the arrival of several other Japanese ball players to the states, among them new Devil Rays 3B Akinori Iwamura (formerly of the Tokyo Yakult Swallows). The Devil Rays won the negotiating rights to Iwamura with a high bid of $4.5 million, topping bids by the Indians and Padres. Apparently Aki, as he likes to be called, is pretty damn good, by Japanese standards at least.

Iwamura was a five-time All-Star and six-time Gold Glove recipient with the Swallows. He's a career .300 hitter, collecting 188 HRs and 570 RBIs in eight seasons with Yakult. He also impressed the D-Rays by hitting .389 for Japan in the World Baseball Classic. The guide says he is a good defender - nice glove, cannon arm. But none of that has to do with why we're here this morning...

We are here because Iwamura is from a small, laid-back town in Japan called Uwajima (since when does a population of 70,000 make you a small, laid-back town?). Aki claims the town is best known for tangerines and yellowtails. Well, the Devil Rays media guide says otherwise. It appears the town's "principal claim of fame" is the Taga-jinja Shrine, a "giant phallus carved out of log." That's right, the pride of Uwajima is a 12-foot wooden schlong. The massive dong is part of an ancient fertility shrine and adjacent to a sex museum. Now I would say that's slighty more entertaining than a town famous for tangerines and yellowtails (whatever they are). And yes, I know this was a looooong way to go for a (big) dick joke...

[Thanks to benmaller.com for the tip]

24 comments:

Mark said...

They went to the trouble of carving veins in it? Wow, that's dedication to a cause.

T.J. said...

The Japanese are diligent little dudes...

Mark said...

As are some of your co-workers, evidently.

T.J. said...

Yes, I remain incognito today, sort of.

Andy said...

"[Thanks to benmaller.com for the tip]"

Did anyone else think that meant that ben maller carved the tip all by himself?

Craig said...

Perfect mascot for the Swallows...

T.J. said...

I was definitely going for some double entendre...and now I'm laughing my ass off envisioning some guy I've never met woodworking a giant schlong.

T.J. said...

Sometimes I love DC...we are getting out at 3 today because of inclement weather, even though where I am it hasn't snowed in 3 hours.

Andrew said...

They put that in the media guide, yet they drop all mention of "Devil" in their nickname due to pressure from local ministers? Weird.

Paahcs "Doc" Ymerej said...

One thing I've learned in all my years in this business is that there is no such thing as going too far for a good dick joke. Nice work fellas.

Paahcs "Doc" Ymerej
Flash Sports Tonight
http://www.flashsportstonight.com

Jerry said...

A full post, 11 comments, and no "Yellow Tail" joke? What the hell is going on over there?

Jerry said...

And is anybody's johnson really that veiny?

T.J. said...

I would've put money on Greg taking the leap...but no. You bathing in the Thames yet?

T.J. said...

Big hello to all the listeners of 620 AM WDAE "The Sports Animal" who may be stopping by GTB this afternoon...

Jerry said...

I'll tell you one thing....they don't put nearly enough water in the toilet bowls over here.

Sizzle said...

Confucious say:
"Baseball wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk."

rob said...

gtb's alter ego got some permanent ink-style press today - just getting home from philly now to read the sports pages. nice work, lad.

T.J. said...

Alot of quality college hoops on right now...ODU cannot afford to lose this game if it wants a chance at the CAA title and/or an at-large bid.

T.J. said...

Nice way to end that five game skid Texas Tech...

Solid win for Tennessee, and ODU pulled away. Time to watch UNC/Va Tech...

T.J. said...

I am Jack's raging bile duct...

Mark said...

Why would ESPN insist on showing Michigan-MSU instead of UNC-VT? I can understand pre-scheduled games for the NFL and NBA and even for more marquee games, but really, MSU-Michigan is that important to anybody outside of Michigan? Doubtful.

For Christ's sake, just show me the best game available. Die ESPN, die.

T.J. said...

Sorry pal...we got the Va Tech/UNC game on Raycom, but that also means I got Billy Packer and Tim Brant last night, possibly the most annoying crew around.

Mark said...

Okay, that a little better. Only, I got the Duke-UNC game on Raycom (as I do with one of them each year) and that's the only game I ever seem to get on Raycom. Am I in ACC territory or not? Please decide TV guys.

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