Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Do Not Pitch to this Man...Ever

"Now that I have kids, I feel a lot better having a gun in the house..."

72 comments:

TJ said...

Seriously, I don't care if Manny is on deck, you CANNOT pitch to Ortiz in that situation...everyone in Fenway and watching at home knew exactly what was going to happen. Ortiz is an absolute freak.

rob said...

i was so happy when loretta popped up.

Mini Me said...

When does this become laughable? The man is so clutch it is outrageous.

TJ said...

Pez anyone?

Mark said...

TJ,
I fully expect you to have one of these for me by the time we meet in Jacksonville.

rob said...

any final word on the brothers-in-arms tour across the midwest?

TJ said...

I have told the boys GTB welcomes any recap they can muster...I imagine it is taking them awhile to recover.

Geoff said...

I spoke with Michael Jack Swint last evening. He reported that the trip was "fun."

Hope that is helpful, Rob. If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to contact me.

rob said...

excellent - thanks. that's all i needed to know.

Whitney said...

That Swint's a maestro with the language -- he can always phrase it just right.

TJ said...

Don't these people have more pressing issues to worry about?

TJ said...

This might be my favorite search yet that led to GTB:

"sandra scream" & nurse

That's not too odd a search you say? Well, it came from Japanese Google, so it takes the cake.

Michael Jack said...

Actually, it was Fun with a capital F.

Michael Jack said...

Also, I have a comment for Mark: The Cardinals are the Cubs's bitches. Nothing felt better than watching the Cubs take it to them for four games in a row. It was even better in the bleachers with ingenious chants of "Pujols sucks" and "That guy sucks" while pointing at a Cardinals fan wearing a Pujols jersey.

Mark said...

Yeah, we're totally your bitches. I mean, the Cards would have won a few NL Central Division titles over the past five years or so if it wasn't for the Cubs completely dominating St. Louis in the way they have for all this time. Oh wait...

Mark said...

Pukols sucks is also one of the more ingenious chants I've ever heard. Where do you midwesterners come up with this stuff? It's like you're all a bunch of European soccer fans with all that imagination.

Geoff said...

In other news, high school players had a tough time getting their hands on Reggie Bush...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?search=reggie+bush&v=Mw50NjPdh6U

TJ said...

Can having a terrible first name get you booted from a football powerhouse?

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Oklahoma starting quarterback Rhett Bomar will not play for the Sooners this season following an investigation by the team, according to a television report.

Mark said...

The Big 12 just got alot less formidable.

Holy Shit that's big. If Adrian Peterson though last year was bad , he's gonna be in for a hell of a surprise this year.

What does OU do? Do they bring back the QB who they converted to WR after Bomar took his job last year?

TJ said...

I cannot say this enough: YouTube is the greatest thing to hit the internet since...well, since GTB. There, I said it.

But seriously folks, have you spent 10 minutes at YouTube lately? Short of SNL skits, it has everything I need...

TJ said...

And Geoff, what the hell is wrong with the comments section on the Wheelhouse today?

TJ said...

Apparently the Jets have NOT given the starting QB job to Chad Pennington, despite the reports this morning. Brooksie, show us what you got...

rob said...

don't sleep on rhett. rhett miller's one of the finest singer/songwriters going these days.

yeah, okay, you win.

TJ said...

Uh, yeah...is he one of these dudes you old guys listen to? Rob, you looking forward to Javy Lopez or Mike Lieberthal donning the tools of ignorance for your boys?

rob said...

he fronts the old 97s, which is a band you should get to know.

i've always liked lieberthal, but he hasn't done dick in 2 years. lopez, not so much either. as i note over at mlc, i think the sox are pretty well fucked.

Geoff said...

I have no clue what is afoot with the Wheelhouse comments section, but whatever post #58 was, it was so earth-shattering and destructive, it shut donw the site.

rob said...

i think it was a picture from the dennis/michael jack snugglefest.

if you know what i'm saying.

TJ said...

I figured it was Jerry's practical wedding advie...closed down the whole interweb. Powerful stuff.

TJ said...

Advie = Advice

Mark said...

Why does the Wheelhouse randomly seem to go down with mysterious ailments every week or so? What kid of out fit are you guys running over there "Geoff"?

TJ said...

Hey, Jerry takes better care of that place than his real place...

Geoff said...

Zing...

TJ said...

Clinger's my name and Zinging is my game. Seriously, though, let's find some hazardous material. Speaking of which, if that cologne was any more toxic, all our kids are going to be born retarded. Huge zing! Can you hold that for me? Zing!

Greg said...

Since Jerry's Thrillhouse isn't working, I'll let GTB have this one.

http://www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com/

TJ said...

Greg, that is one helluva find...there is actually a new cat in my household as of 5 days ago, and it looks like I will be painting a Hitler mustache on him so I too can be part of this glorious website.

TJ said...

Greg, did you break the Wheelhouse? Perhaps comment #58 was a YouTube clip of you doing Red Ships of Spain?

TJ said...

Wow, I don't know how this failed...Sounds like a terrific idea:

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's biggest theme park has called off the country's first "National Muslim Fun Day" because of lack of interest, the park said Wednesday.

Alton Towers in central England was to open on September 17 for Muslims -- with halal food, a strict dress code and prayer areas.

Music, gambling and alcohol were to be banned for the day and theme park rides such as "Ripsaw," "Corkscrew" and "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" all segregated by sex.

Greg said...

Worst Religion Ever.

TJ said...

Tribe Pride...

After brushing his teeth and putting on his pajamas every night, Darren Sharper climbs into a blue canvas bag and zips it tight over his head. No, Sharper is not practicing for a future role as a vampire. Instead, the Vikings safety is sleeping in a portable hyperbaric chamber in his dorm room at Minnesota State, Mankato. "If you're claustrophobic," Sharper said, "you wouldn't like it." The device, which Sharper began using last season, pumps higher levels of oxygen into a person's lungs. Sharper said he believes the oxygen helps his body recover quicker from strenuous exertion while also speeding the process of recovering from an injury.

Greg said...

My performance of "Red Ships of Spain" was the greatest endeavor of humanity. Blogger determined that all posts after that would only serve to bring the Wheelhouse down from its zenith.

Geoff said...

Greg...gift...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jo95a8VsB_U&search=goulet

TJ said...

Slats, must see TV tonight (do you think he would even venture over here with the Wheelhouse down)...

Italian League Basketball: Benetton Treviso vs. Climamio Bologna Championship, Game 3. NBATV, 8PM

Mark said...

If I'm not mistaken that game will feature #1 pick Andrea "at least he's not Araujo" Bargnani.

TJ said...

I believe so, and it will also feature former Terp guard Drew Nicholas.

Mark said...

You're right. Nicholas is supossedly a beast over there. I still hate him for ruining my upset pick with UNC-W a few years ago though.

Michael Jack said...

Actually, I kept trying to tell Encarnacion to move in a few steps when Juan Pierre was hitting.

TJ said...

I'll give Juan this - he hits well with the bases loaded. Pierre's career BA with the bases juiced is .429 (21-for-49).

TJ said...

Tough day to be a (supposed) starting QB for big-time college football program (wait, can Ole Miss be called big-time?).

Mark said...

Did Schaeffer get denied entry to Ole Miss? I read yesterday that he and the DT (Powe) had both qualified for the fall. It seemed as little shady (especially fo rPowe) but that was the word on Gator boards. Where did you see this TJ?

TJ said...

The ESPN News crawl last night said he was academically ineligible, though as I search the interweb today there are conflicting reports everywhere. Christ, didn't the kid just need to pass a few fluff summer classes at a community college? If he can't do that, how the hell is he going to run an offense?

Mark said...

The SEC requires one (possibly two) math courses that many other conferences don't and isn't a requirement for your A.A.

Often times, this is where guys get tripped up in trying to get eligible for their transfers. It's happened to UF a couple of times in the past few years and is one of the reasons why Florida is extremely reticent to recruit many JUCO guys.

There had been word that Schaeffer thought he was done and had gone home to Fla., only to find out he still had more work to do which forced him to go back out to Cali and re-enroll in a class or two a couple of weeks in to the second summer semester. However, it worked out I'd heard he was in a tight spot as far as getting eligible.

rob said...

i thought the crawl said he was eligible, not the opposite.

maybe they were talking about his romantic status.

TJ said...

Perhaps I am illiterate...

Mark said...

Perhaps?

TJ said...

You show me a tropical fruit, and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala...

TJ said...

OK, Schaeffer is IN at Ole Miss

rob said...

the marlins have 5 rookie of the year candidates right now. uggla, h. ramirez, willingham, josh johnson, and mike jacobs. not to mention anibal sanchez and ricky nolasco (who i don't think is eligible). holy smokes.

TJ said...

Have a good weekend gang...tomorrow is a boozy work summer holiday function in that charming city of seamen, Annapolis (50,000 Apply. 1,200 Are Accepted. Only The Best Survive.) I'll let you know if I see James Franco in his faggoty (sp?) white uniform.

Mark said...

Are you and Tyrese carpooling together? I'm sure you'll have a lot to talk about.

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rob said...

i hate the gators. none for us, thanks.

Mark said...

Urban Meyer is pointing angrily at you as I type this Rob.

Geoff said...

TJ Doyle versus George Will--according to this guy, its likely a draw.

rob said...

mark - nothing personal. i spent my formative years in alabama. i have no choice.

Mark said...

I'm assuming your allegiance lies with the Tide then since Auburn fans generally live in Auburn or Atlanta. By the way, I don't mind your disdain for the Gators but Urban's all kinds of fired up right now. What cna I say? The guy's a maniac.

rob said...

yeah, only mouthbreathing hillbillies root for auburn. i was bummed when meyer went to florida, because i think he's gonna be wildly successful with sec athletes.

Whitney said...

For those suirprised by Teejay's silence, he's at a work outing in Annapolis. Typical Teej event, taking in the regatta, sipping scotch, and talking turkey while donning his two Polo shirts (with collars northward, natch), pleated shorts, and top-siders. He'll catch you on the flip-side, mates.

TJ said...

Well, there goes my Monday:

http://www.judgeoj.com/

TJ said...

Tiger Woods y'all, it's all good y'all...

Tiger Woods shot 24 under par at the Buick Open to capture his 50th career PGA Tour title. Woods shot 66 in each of the four rounds, the first time he has ever carded a six-under-par or better in every round of a tournament. In fact, he was only the third golfer in the last 26 years to post four straight rounds of six-under or better in a tournament. The others were Ernie Els at the 2003 Mercedes Championships and John Huston at the 1998 United Airlines Hawaiian.

Mini Me said...

Tiger is the shit.

TJ said...

For once, the "juice" in question is not OJ...

http://ihatejuice.com/

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